what is your favorite beer quote?

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hophead44

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Mine would have to be; "beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" Benjamin Franklin
 
Except that is not what he said. The correct quote appears to be "Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards; there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy."
 
That's true. Benjamin Franklin didn't like beer as much as wine, whiskey, or rum. My favorite beer quote is Thomas Jefferson's:

"Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health."
 
Arcane is correct... it's actually pretty irritating how widespread that misquote is, as it really had nothing to do with beer at all.

Anyways, I'm not sure it qualifies as a "quote" per se, but I'm going to have to go with the short poem, "Lines on Ale".

Edgar Allen Poe said:
Fill with mingled cream and amber
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain -
Quaintest thoughts - queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away;
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.
Click to expand...
 
I like this one from Frank Zappa:

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
 
"I sit here and drink my good Wittenberg Beer, and the Kingdom of God comes all by itself." -Martin Luther
 
I'm reading this interesting book called, The Search for God and Guinness by Stephen Mansfield, which is a history of the Guinness family, and also a history of the importance that beer played in early Christianity (Basically up til the anti-german sentiment of wwI)

There's some great quotes from theologians like Martin Luther, Calvin, and this one from St. Arnold (One of the Patron Saints of beer)

"From Man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world."
 
"Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will take over the world."
Kaiser Wilhelm II
 
“Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.” - Homer J. Simpson
 
“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

-Cliff Claven, Cheers
 
“ I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day. ”
-Frank Sinatra
 
Chuck Norris doesn't open his beer with a bottle opener, he bites off the top of the bottle and chews the glass.
 
Not really a quote, but an Egyptian proverb:

“Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days.”
 
DisturbdChemist said:
“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

-Cliff Claven, Cheers
Click to expand...

This is the best. I love this one.
 
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.

-Deep Thought, Jack Handy
 
Saw this one today, loved it. Plus, I'm a Poe fan.

“Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies come to life and fade away. What care I how time advances; I am drinking ale today.” -Edgar Allen Poe
 
"Give a man a beer, and he'll waste an hour...Teach a man to brew, and he'll waste a lifetime"

- I forgot
 
To further 'quote' Ben Franklin, this is on the website of one of my favorite local breweries:

"In Beer there is freedom, in wine wisdom, in water there is bacteria." In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli (E. Coli), a bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do not run that risk when drinking beer or wine because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering, and fermenting, etc.
Remember:

Water = POOP Beer = FREEDOM Wine = WISDOM.

Therefore, it's better to drink beer or wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of ****.
 
prrriiide said:
"In wine there is truth. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria."

Attributed to David Auerbach (also to Ben Franklin, but they didn't know about bacteria in the 1700s...)
Click to expand...

"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is very hard to determine their authenticity"

-Abraham Lincoln
 
-----if you don't drink then all of your stories suck and end with "and then I got home"

Jim Jefferies
 

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