The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Williams 728
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Notice how I learned my lesson this time and didn't claim any "epic" cookouts ahead if time? Oh.... But if this thing goes off as I am confident it will.... Mercy.
 
I hit the Corney Jackpot earlier tonight. It was effin sweet.

I am kegging 40 gallons for the weekend and needed to dive way back in the pile to grab four kegs. I hadn't opened any of the four in a long, long time. They were al also half full so I was a bit nervous about what the hell I was going to have to clean outta the things.

Popped em all open waiting for some nasty stench to hit me...

Star San!

Star San!!

Star San!!!!

Andd.....

STAR SAN!!!!!!

I thought about making out with myself for being so awesome.
 
IMG_4996.JPG
 
Cape, in the name of all that is holy, WTF went on at your party this weekend? I got three calls from Rick within an hour. The first one he starts busting my balls because I'm in NY and not there. He's semi coherent at that point. A little while later he calls again and he's no longer speaking English, he's switched over to ****faced.

His third call was off the chart. I THINK he pocket dialed me. Actually I'm hoping it was an accidental call. At first all I could hear was music, then it dawned on me that I was listening to singing. After listening for a minute I figured out that I was listening to Rick, Robnoxious and The Foreigner singing along to "Midnight at the Oasis".

The horror. The horror.
 
LOL!! That was awesome. We had a Good sized campfire going at that point and were popping bottles open when we though it would be funny to have Rick start drunk-dialing people. It was TREMENDOUS entertainment.

Good times all weekend.

I was really happy with the pig. Let's just say it wasn't the pork-jerky you make.

37 kegs. Was hoping we were going to crack 40 but 37 aint too shabby.
 
"Midnight at the oasis,
Send your camel to bed.
You won't need no pharaoh,
Ohhhh nooooo!
When I take you for a ride."


The single most frightening phone call I've ever received. I'm probably looking at a ton of couch time to get over that little bit of AT&T induced PTSD!
 
The whole thing was great except one thing...

we oddly enough ran outta cups.

Hey!!! Bang up job Comcast!!! Thanks buddy!!!


Actual conversation from Friday:

Comcast to my SWMBO: "Oh don't buy cups... i have a TON and I'll bring them tomorrow"
my SWMBO: "are you sure? I'm running out to buy a ton of stuff right now and I have a coupon"
Comcast to my SWMBO: "NO NO... I have a TON, Don't waste your money. I'll bring them tomorrow"

Guess you didn't effin' show the next day and guess what we ran out of mid-day.
 
Cape Brewing said:
The whole thing was great except one thing...

we oddly enough ran outta cups.

Hey!!! Bang up job Comcast!!! Thanks buddy!!!


Actual conversation from Friday:

Comcast to my SWMBO: "Oh don't buy cups... i have a TON and I'll bring them tomorrow"
my SWMBO: "are you sure? I'm running out to buy a ton of stuff right now and I have a coupon"
Comcast to my SWMBO: "NO NO... I have a TON, Don't waste your money. I'll bring them tomorrow"

Guess you didn't effin' show the next day and guess what we ran out of mid-day.
Click to expand...

I have a text convo with rick that states I would not be able to make it due to the fact that We put an offer on the house, and as part of the short sale offer that we had to do a home inspection within 24 hrs for the offer to be submitted. he said he would tell you and all was set, not my problem that rick is just too much of a ******* not to relay
 
So I should be coming down to the south shore this Friday. My grandfather is chilling at Jordan hospital. I am going to be in the Waterbury area on Thursday. Anybody need me to pick up some Heady Topper? I could probably meet one of you guys on my way through.
 
None for me, thanks anyways. Best of luck with your grandfather.

As far as the Rickie/Rookie controversy...
Is anyone shocked at that? One chowderhead relies on another chowderhead and they both end up looking like they ought to be wearing helmets on the short bus. Go figure.
 
Rick, it's bob. I am not gonna make it back like I had originally planned. We put an offer on a short sale house and they want us to do a home inspection ASAP so tomorrows the day. I said I'd bring solo cups but will not make it back. Can you relay the message?
Yep. Good luck.
Thanks buddy
No prob
Good luck

Copied from my text messages
 
ComcastWineRookie said:
I have a text convo with rick that states I would not be able to make it due to the fact that We put an offer on the house, and as part of the short sale offer that we had to do a home inspection within 24 hrs for the offer to be submitted. he said he would tell you and all was set, not my problem that rick is just too much of a ******* not to relay
Click to expand...

What? I just looked through my text list, and you aren't in there. You aren't even in my address book. Maybe you're referring to someone else?
 
You guys may want to take your bickering to PMs; posting each other's cell numbers online is just BEGGING for Paulie to start drunk-texting pictures of his gentleman's area to you.
 

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