Funny things you've overheard about beer

I finally saw someone pour a BMC Lite into a glass filled with ice. He must have been a regular - he didn't even have to ask. (Funny . . . it was a bottle and I couldn't tell you which sort of BMC it was).

Mojzis said:

Right from my microbiology book:

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I assume they left out coffee and tea because it's a microbiology book? Dictionaries break this term down too much. I always took it to mean "to stew a beverage in a pot," thus witches brew, beer, and tea all follow the same process.

Raenon said:

I'd say "ale-y" is all the flavors that we associate with ales that are not associated with most lagers. So, big malt character and/or heavy use of hops, lots of yeast character, thick mouthfeel.
Cream ale is probably one of the best bets for an american lager drinker, so it sounds like you rather understood it too

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OT but:

Raenon: I noticed your avatar. GITS fan over here as well.

Zythophile said:

What exactly is your problem? The piece says, accurately, what "ale" used to mean. It then goes into how the meaning of "ale" has changed over the centuries. Nowhere does it say that the current usage for the word "ale" is wrong. Nor is it trying to "correct" anything.

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You obviously came in late and didn't read the whole conversation. You should do that next time before you resurrect an argument. The article is not what I was calling incorrect. The person citing it, misused in a poor attempt to correct someone on something. Look to posts up from this post and see the microbiology book quoted. The original
Post of the micro book way back was the start of the conversation, go all the way back and find that OP and read the WHOLE story from there and you will understand(you should have done this before you tried to jump on me)

I think this thread would be half as long without all the "Well, actually..." arguments. IMHO, the current meaning of "Well, actually.." should become the archaic meaning. And hence forth "Well, actually..." and its variants should be understood as an abbreviated way to say, "Quick! Kick me in the balls before I finish the rest of this sentence!"

Anyways...I was recently visiting my cousin and his wife and they took me to the Yard House. His wife then recalled a time several years ago when they visited us in Portland and we took them out to a brew pub to hang out. Now, while the pub brewed their own beer, they had the lone bmc lite tap for those who swing that way. When it came time to order beers she began ordered the bmc lite. In her recollection I apparently looked like I was about to "rip her head off." She then quickly aborted her bmc order to see if there was something else she should get. In my recollection, I calmly explained that if she had come all the way to Portland--a brew pub in Portland--she would probably enjoy trying some of the local brew. Comparing it to going to Italy and asking the restaurant if they have Kraft mac n'cheese. But they just like to give me a hard time about that b/c they know I'm enthusiastic about good beer.

Bierliebhaber said:

IMHO, the current meaning of "Well, actually.." should become the archaic meaning. And hence forth "Well, actually..." and its variants should be understood as an abbreviated way to say, "Quick! Kick me in the balls before I finish the rest of this sentence!".

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Hahha good point seeing as "Well actually..." Is more often than not followed by some random fact that doesn't even apply that someone pulls out of left field just to sound like they are just overflowingly full of knowledge

Example: hey dude you spelled hopps wrong
"We'll actually originally a tribe in papa new gunie discovered hops in the early 1500s and spelled then as Hopps with two Ps which we later found documented on the Mayan calendar. So technically he didn't spell hops wrong he we referring to the ancient spelling"

I see how this could easily be resolved with a swift kick in the nards

iambeer said:

I heard this dumb 13 year old girl saying beer kills brain cells, makes you gain weight, and destroys your liver.

Was like.. ***** I ain't that fat.. YET.

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Lol ignorance is bliss

Bierliebhaber said:

And hence forth "Well, actually..." and its variants should be understood as an abbreviated way to say, "Quick! Kick me in the balls before I finish the rest of this sentence!"

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Awesome!

Haha sound advice, and I would not say all "well actually" users are dbags. I have seen you around the forum and seen you use it, and you never came off as an ******* to me lol. But many people who use "well actually" are trying to be, as you so eloquently put it "nazi grammar trolls"

Doesn't seem like something I want to try and picture haha.

Marauder said:

Haha sound advice, and I would not say all "well actually" users are dbags. I have seen you around the forum and seen you use it, and you never came off as an ******* to me lol. But many people who use "well actually" are trying to be, as you so eloquently put it "nazi grammar trolls"

Doesn't seem like something I want to try and picture haha.

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Wait, is there a difference between regular German grammar and Nazi grammar? One of you 'Well, actually...' guys should overflow some knowledge on me.

well, actually... there is a difference between High German and Low German

Back on topic!!!! My friend said I should name the double ipa I'm going to brew "dick in the dirt ipa" cause that's where it would put him lol

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

- Frank Zappa

Marauder said:

Hahha good point seeing as "Well actually..." Is more often than not followed by some random fact that doesn't even apply that someone pulls out of left field just to sound like they are just overflowingly full of knowledge

Example: hey dude you spelled hopps wrong
"We'll actually originally a tribe in papa new gunie discovered hops in the early 1500s and spelled then as Hopps with two Ps which we later found documented on the Mayan calendar. So technically he didn't spell hops wrong he we referring to the ancient spelling"

I see how this could easily be resolved with a swift kick in the nards

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Well, actually, I think the correct term is 'nads.


I also just dislocated my knee trying to kick my self in the "nads" for posting this.

robertfraser said:

Well, actually, I think the correct term is 'nads.


I also just dislocated my knee trying to kick my self in the "nads" for posting this.

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Well actually... 'nads is the short form of gonads, the organs responsible for gamete production.

Well actually... 'nads is the short form of gonads, the organs responsible for gamete production.

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Well actually, the etymology goes deeper than that:

gonad (n.) 1880, from Modern Latin gonas (plural gonades), coined from Greek gone, gonos "seed, act of generation, race, family," from gignesthai "be born," related to genos "race, birth, descent" (see genus). Related: gonads.

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Well actually... I'm just being a d!ck.

Well actually... I'm just being a d!ck.

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Well actually the correct term is "Richard"

Well actually the correct term is "Richard"

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Well actually...

I've been trying to read this entire thread...whooo...good reading, but I really gotta get back to my life..anyway, I just had an experience that reminded me of this post...

A local liquor store just put taps in and sells growlers. Which is a big deal here(Finally!!!)The owner did a great job getting good beers, Bells, Founders, Sixpoint, etc. Anyways, as me and my friend are discussing with the owner what he would be adding soon, a passerby was asking questions about every single beer..."whats schafly? whats dirty bastard? whats rye beer taste like? But at the same time, he was trying his best to sound knowledgable, as if he'd tried about everything, then he said, whats that Bells Winter Ale like? I mean, I really like Ales, so I'd probably like it." Me and my friend just gave a beer snob smile and let it go

robertfraser said:

Well, actually, I think the correct term is 'nads.


I also just dislocated my knee trying to kick my self in the "nads" for posting this.

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OT, but have you ever seen someone actually do that? (Kick themselves in the nads, that is)

Had a guy on my floor freshman year of college that figured out one night he could do it. And would, on request.

Which we did often.

Pretty sure he can't breed now. (Which, in retrospect, is probably a good thing.)

Edit to add: The non-knee dislocating trick is, you use the heel of your foot in an upward striking motion. I personally thank all that is good and holy that I am nowhere near flexible enough for an accidental self-inflicted nad kick, but it can be done.

Was at a local restaurant and the owner came out and was sitting with a couple ladies. One of them ordered a schlafly porter. He proceeds to say that it is a very good beer for people that normally drink bud light because it is lager-y.

A friend of mine used to drink nothing but Budweiser. Periodically I would share what I consider to be good beer - which is darn near anything except an american lager at this point - and anytime he tasted anything darker than a blonde ale he would tell me that "All dark beers taste like soy sauce!"

We just bottled his first homebrew - a lil sumpin wild clone (which, by the way, turned out really well. We're calling it Barnyard Funk.), and he won't touch budweiser anymore.

I like soy sauce...

The Ticks power is ignorance. What he doesn't know can't hurt him. So he is nigh invulnerable.

jamesdawsey said:

A friend of mine used to drink nothing but Budweiser. Periodically I would share what I consider to be good beer - which is darn near anything except an american lager at this point - and anytime he tasted anything darker than a blonde ale he would tell me that "All dark beers taste like soy sauce!"

We just bottled his first homebrew - a lil sumpin wild clone (which, by the way, turned out really well. We're calling it Barnyard Funk.), and he won't touch budweiser anymore.

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Do you by chance have a recipe link for the lil sumpin wild clone? That is a mighty tasty beer.

In reply to this post that copied an Amazon review of 350 Beers...

Bierliebhaber said:

So on to the innacuracies:

...Austria and Switzerland: The most recognizable and noteworthy beer that either one of these countries ever made is Samichlaus. Not even a mention?...

...Australia: Foster's gets it's own page and Cooper's doesn't even get a mention. Nuff said...

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What the reviewer said about Austrian beer is way off. The Austrians invented the Märzen beer which moved to Germany and later became the beer that you in America know as Octoberfest. Austrians also have a quite popular style of beer called zwickel which is a young, unfiltered beer. Over 99% of the population here in Austria have never heard of Samichlaus. That is an overhyped beer exported to America. I suppose it's like thinking that all Australians drink Fosters.

Oh, and ever heard of Vienna lagers?:cross:

loetz said:

Oh, and ever heard of Vienna lagers?:cross:

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Never heard of her...cool last name though.

I used to run a few bars and have heard a lot of funny things people say about beer, but I am sure these have been posted, however:

"I can't drink Guinness, it get's me too drunk" -and other dark beer=high ABV assumptions

"All I can drink is Corona Extra (or some other beer) everything else gives me the @#$%s" -is there something magical in corona that prevents diarrhea?

"My beer is warm" -when it is 34-36 degrees Fahrenheit.

"No thanks, beer makes you fat" -as they are eating a giant plate of french fries with a rum and diet coke.

v.1 "That is a sissy beer" they say about craft/micros and order a BMC macro "man's beer"

v.2 "That is a sissy beer" they say about Bud Light, and then they order a Budweiser.

I could go on and on...

--

Was in Washington DC around Christmas time for work and we took a break and walked to a local pub. On the front windows in huge letters it says "Lagers - Stouts - Ales". then they have a Dogfish Head sign with a chalk board that listed their specials. Inside they didn't serve one Dogfish Head brew and only had Sam Adams, Boddingtons, Guiness, and BMC's. I should of know from the window lettering to stay away.

Mobius570 said:

Was in Washington DC around Christmas time for work and we took a break and walked to a local pub. On the front windows in huge letters it says "Lagers - Stouts - Ales". then they have a Dogfish Head sign with a chalk board that listed their specials. Inside they didn't serve one Dogfish Head brew and only had Sam Adams, Boddingtons, Guiness, and BMC's. I should of know from the window lettering to stay away.

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next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

GrogNerd said:

next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

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Omg, I need to go there!

gcdowd said:

Omg, I need to go there!

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haha... reminds me of Liz Lemon: I want to go to there

GrogNerd said:

next time in DC, try the Bier Baron, formerly the Brickskeller, Guinness World Record holder as "the bar with the largest selection of commercially available beers."

here's a list of what they have available

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But Delirium Cafe has over 2000 beers. I thought they held the Guinness World Record.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9lirium_Caf%C3%A9

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brickskeller

WHICH ONE IS IT, WIKIPEDIA???


EDIT: I think the Brickskeller people are lying.
http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/Search.aspx?q=brikskeller

Back on topic: This is something that annoys me. I cant remember how many beers I've had that claim to be the strongest in the world or the oldest or the first of the style or some crap like that. It has become a joke with my wife and me. I once did a tour of a brewery where they claimed to have been the ones to invent lager. They said it was discovered by a kid who was given one of their malt drinks because he was sick. Supposidly he left the drink next to a cold window for a long time and, voila, lager was invented.

wikipedia sources this article in April 15, 2005 Washington Post

wouldn't be the first time WaPo was wrong

good catch. though it's still an amazing number of beers. we'll call it "the most in the US" until someone else can source someplace with more

(your search misspells "Brickskeller" but either way, search comes up NULL)

i try very hard not to get too snooty about lite lagers. No one wants to turn into the insufferable beer snob. I dont drink them that often, but they have their place, and are thirst quenching on a hot day when you're at a friends party and its all he has...

I grew up in an Irish household and Guinness was the gold standard. it wasn't until I had my beer awakening that i realized, Guinness really isn't that great.

GrogNerd said:

wikipedia sources this article in April 15, 2005 Washington Post

wouldn't be the first time WaPo was wrong

good catch. though it's still an amazing number of beers. we'll call it "the most in the US" until someone else can source someplace with more

(your search misspells "Brickskeller" but either way, search comes up NULL)

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I'm live in DC and I rarely go there. Its a dive for one, and a lot of the beers they say they have they just dont have. Plus, a lot of them are past their prime, they aren't kept in the right temperature, and there's a limited draft menu. The place to go to is Church Key, a beer geeks dream come true.

dkwolf said:

OT, but have you ever seen someone actually do that? (Kick themselves in the nads, that is)

Had a guy on my floor freshman year of college that figured out one night he could do it. And would, on request.

Which we did often.

Pretty sure he can't breed now. (Which, in retrospect, is probably a good thing.)

Edit to add: The non-knee dislocating trick is, you use the heel of your foot in an upward striking motion. I personally thank all that is good and holy that I am nowhere near flexible enough for an accidental self-inflicted nad kick, but it can be done.

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you guys are an awesome goldmine of information.... I'm setting aside the weekend for auto-gonadal pummelation practice.....

Wait, to make sure I stay on topic....
(ACTUALLY, THE PROPER TERM IS "SELF-TESTICULAR PUNTING")

woknblues said:

I used to run a few bars and have heard a lot of funny things people say about beer, but I am sure these have been posted, however:

"I can't drink Guinness, it get's me too drunk" -and other dark beer=high ABV assumptions

"All I can drink is Corona Extra (or some other beer) everything else gives me the @#$%s" -is there something magical in corona that prevents diarrhea?

"My beer is warm" -when it is 34-36 degrees Fahrenheit.

"No thanks, beer makes you fat" -as they are eating a giant plate of french fries with a rum and diet coke.

v.1 "That is a sissy beer" they say about craft/micros and order a BMC macro "man's beer"

v.2 "That is a sissy beer" they say about Bud Light, and then they order a Budweiser.

I could go on and on...

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Good list. Here's mine:

Hipsters who drink PBR because they thinks its ironic, yet are also food snobs.

people who drink beer in a frosted glass.

Eddiebosox said:

I'm live in DC and I rarely go there. Its a dive for one, and a lot of the beers they say they have they just dont have. Plus, a lot of them are past their prime, they aren't kept in the right temperature, and there's a limited draft menu. The place to go to is Church Key, a beer geeks dream come true.

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next time I'm downtown, I'll have to check out Church Key, THANKS!

but I haven't been down that way since it was the Brickskeller

OH OH OH I've got one...

My father-in-law is a bit prude'ish, and doesn't look favorably on "fun" in pretty much any kind or form... I however ended up getting his daughter pregnant after 6 years of marriage. I knew he wouldn't smoke a cigar with me, but he agreed to go "halfsies" on a beer. So I brewed a stout and called it "Poopy Diaper Ale" for our first kid. Unfortunately, it got some bacteria and didn't come out right.

I poured him a half-glass anyways to see what he thought. He took a few sips and it was obvious he didn't care for it. So I said, "Alright, well since that stunk, let me share something else with you..." I went to the fridge and grabbed another homebrew - an amber ale with paradise seed. He chuckled nervously from the dining room and said,

"Well, alright, but I DO have to drive tomorrow..."

robertfraser said:

-snip- I'm setting aside the weekend for auto-gonadal pummelation practice..... -snip-

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Scene from CSI (or other criminal forensics drama):

"Notice the ovate contusions on the adductor group and scrotal hematoma."
"Yeah. Looks to me like our John Doe was into auto-gonadal pummelation."