Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Posted on facebook by the owner and self proclaimed beer expert of a local restaurant.
"Bells two hearted is the greatest imperial APA every brewed"
 
In response to all the "Import" rants, I think the term should just be Domestic/Crappy and Premium. I used to preach/whine about the Boulevard in KC being "Import" but only because it's just an illogical category name for it. If you have to print new menus with new beers, give them an appropriate category. Do like Flying Saucer does and have colored copy paper as your beer list!
 
When my wife was working at a nursing home, many years ago, they had a social event where they served beer. My wife got in trouble because she drank a Lite Beer during work. She thought Lite Beer was non-alcoholic beer. Needless to say she got in much trouble. I talked to her boss one day and said, "You know she's not far off."
 
C-Rider said:
I was in a brewery in North Carolina, sorry don't remember the name. They only brew German style lagers. All there eqipment came from Germany. Any way on the wall was this sign.

People who drink light beer don't really like beer.

They just like to piss a lot.

LOL Thought that was so funny.
Click to expand...

If it was near the OBX then it was the weeping Radish a few miles before the bridge going to the island
 
OBX beer? brewery in Grandy?

i wonder how many times I've passed that on the way to/from Duck and never knew it was there
 
I'm not proud of it, but I'll admit I dip into the BMC cooler now and then, especially at picnic type events where I could be drinking all day.

Anyways, at a co-worker party one night, I'm holding on to my can of Miller Lite and one of my co-workers husbands comes up to me and points out that I'm drinking a Lite. He then says, "Hmm, thought you were some kind of beer snob, you brew your own right? Well, I'll tell you, life is to short to drink crappy cheap beer like Lite." He then proceeded to grab a Carona out of the cooler, held it up like it was something special and walked away. I actually thought he did it as a joke, until that's all he drank all night.
 
Clonefan94 said:
I'm not proud of it, but I'll admit I dip into the BMC cooler now and then, especially at picnic type events where I could be drinking all day.

Anyways, at a co-worker party one night, I'm holding on to my can of Miller Lite and one of my co-workers husbands comes up to me and points out that I'm drinking a Lite. He then says, "Hmm, thought you were some kind of beer snob, you brew your own right? Well, I'll tell you, life is to short to drink crappy cheap beer like Lite." He then proceeded to grab a Carona out of the cooler, held it up like it was something special and walked away. I actually thought he did it as a joke, until that's all he drank all night.
Click to expand...

So funny. The word ********* comes to mind.
 
Working as a bar manager of a popular German restaurant and an owner of a LHBS, I hear a lot of tall beer tales.

Last year for our town's big Oktoberfest, in our eternal wisdom, we deemed it a good idea for us to be brewing out in the open instead of sampling beer. Whoops. People came by in droves when they smelled the mash and boil. We brewed an ESB. The shop has tons of people inside and we were constantly being drawn in to help them. Not the best decision ever, but I was also split between doing that and watching my bar go down in flames due to volume. It's cool, I allocated help and we dug out from under the mess, but my brewing and business partner got swamped. All in all, not the best day. When we were done, we'd told everyone that it would take weeks until it was ready and gave out a flyer with a date to come back.

We left the carboy unattended for 3 minutes to enjoy a beer after a hectic day and night. We came back and there was a small gaggle of people hovering around the carboy, all of whom we'd told about how the beer wasn't ready. They are sampling from the ported BB.

"Eww. This is flat and awful! What is it??"

"It's an ESB. Extra Special Bitter, a British favorite."

One guy turns to his wife..."Oh that's what's wrong with it, it's British."

"Get out."

I've got tons more when I get time, read this whole thread...love it!
 
Others have said similar things, but I have to add it, just because I never cease to be amazed by how prevalent this is...

Grandfather trying my Belgian Strong Pale Ale (9.1% ABV and 55 IBUs), "Oh, this is great, it tastes like Fat Tire."

Neighbor trying my Witbier, "This is really good, it tastes just like Fat Tire!"

:smack:

Grandfather, "You know, I like most beers, but I just can't stand wheat beers. I've tried a lot and I just don't like them." Proceeds to drink my Witbier, "This is good." Okay, maybe I just make good beer? Proceeds to drink a Chainbreaker (white IPA from Deschutes), "Oh, I really like this!" :confused: I really wanted to give him a glass of Weihenstephaner and go for the gold...
 
SiriusStarr said:
Others have said similar things, but I have to add it, just because I never cease to be amazed by how prevalent this is...

Grandfather trying my Belgian Strong Pale Ale (9.1% ABV and 55 IBUs), "Oh, this is great, it tastes like Fat Tire."

Neighbor trying my Witbier, "This is really good, it tastes just like Fat Tire!"

:smack:
Click to expand...
(sound of SiriusStarr unzipping pants) "Hey! Come here and tell me if this tastes like a Fat Tire!"
 
The only good thing about living in Ottawa is that we're right across the river from Quebec.

I've been to Vegas, so I've learned that there are 2 kinds of "nudie bars" there. 1) the kind that takes off their top, but keeps their bottoms on, and is allowed to serve alcohol, and b) the kind that gets totally naked, but isn't allowed to serve alcohol (seriously???)

Here in Ottawa, we have strip bars that get totally naked (with champagne rooms/lap dances), AND serve alcohol, but lap dances are $20 each. However, right across the river, in Quebec, the drinking age is 18, the dancers get totaly naked, they serve alcohol, and lap dances are $10.

Why isn't every 18 year old US male taking a trip to Quebec??? :)
 
Oh they do. The frat's at my undergrad university took buses up there after initiation haha.

I need to make a trip up...
 
We have a server here that is hard core German. She's an older lady who hates serving Bud or Bud Light, the only two such beers we carry. One day this intelligent gentleman decided to engage her in a rowdy bout of tom foolery. He insulted her German heritage and demanded "a real beer, Bud Light" from her. She explained that we have some fine German beers that exemplify the style he's used to, but he would have none of it. Flustered, she came to me with the story and told me she didn't want to take the awful offering to him. Then she told me what he said. "If the Germans are so good at making beer, how come they lost two World Wars?"

Come on. So I offer to take the whole table's beers to them. The gentleman's father ordered a liter of Oktoberfest from Spaten.

"Here we go, I have a fine German beer for you sir, a nice Riesling for you Ma'am and a beer flavored putrid malt beverage for you."

"Excuse me, this is REAL BEER."

"No, your father ordered a real beer, you ordered a pansy malt beverage only fit for cooking hot dogs in."

"Then why does it say BEER on the label?"

"Because it's legal to lie in the states. In Europe and the rest of the world they aren't allowed to call it BEER, they have to call it malt beverage like Zima and most wine coolers. So you're basically drinking a wine cooler. Enjoy your Zima, and you sir (pointing to his father), enjoy that BEER."

The whole table laughed at him. The server asked me if that was true about Europe.

"I don't think so, but it's true to him right now."
 
FermentedScientist said:
We have a server here that is hard core German. She's an older lady who hates serving Bud or Bud Light, the only two such beers we carry. One day this intelligent gentleman decided to engage her in a rowdy bout of tom foolery. He insulted her German heritage and demanded "a real beer, Bud Light" from her. She explained that we have some fine German beers that exemplify the style he's used to, but he would have none of it. Flustered, she came to me with the story and told me she didn't want to take the awful offering to him. Then she told me what he said. "If the Germans are so good at making beer, how come they lost two World Wars?"

Come on. So I offer to take the whole table's beers to them. The gentleman's father ordered a liter of Oktoberfest from Spaten.

"Here we go, I have a fine German beer for you sir, a nice Riesling for you Ma'am and a beer flavored putrid malt beverage for you."

"Excuse me, this is REAL BEER."

"No, your father ordered a real beer, you ordered a pansy malt beverage only fit for cooking hot dogs in."

"Then why does it say BEER on the label?"

"Because it's legal to lie in the states. In Europe and the rest of the world they aren't allowed to call it BEER, they have to call it malt beverage like Zima and most wine coolers. So you're basically drinking a wine cooler. Enjoy your Zima, and you sir (pointing to his father), enjoy that BEER."

The whole table laughed at him. The server asked me if that was true about Europe.

"I don't think so, but it's true to him right now."
Click to expand...

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Took few of my homebrews to a buddies house to watch a football game, offered one to his friend (who had a deathgrip on his Miller Lite) I got the response "No thanks you never know if that stuffs not made right it can make you blind" I gotta say I was a little offended but oh well more delicious pumpkin ale for me...enjoy your rice and corn water
 
at one of my favorite craft beer bars i ordered a sierra nevada northern hemisphere wet-hopped ale. i commented that it was delicious. the barmaid then tells me (in a bit of a snooty way):

"yeah, it's one of my favorites. i love those wet-hopped beers as opposed to the dry-hopped ones."

i didn't have the heart to tell her that wet hopping refers to ingredients and dry hopping refers to process. i did have a hearty silent chuckle, however.

probably would have blown her mind to tell her the wet hop ale was probably dry hopped...
 
joshualoomis said:
at one of my favorite craft beer bars i ordered a sierra nevada northern hemisphere wet-hopped ale. i commented that it was delicious. the barmaid then tells me (in a bit of a snooty way):

"yeah, it's one of my favorites. i love those wet-hopped beers as opposed to the dry-hopped ones."

i didn't have the heart to tell her that wet hopping refers to ingredients and dry hopping refers to process. i did have a hearty silent chuckle, however.

probably would have blown her mind to tell her the wet hop ale was probably dry hopped...
Click to expand...

"It's actually dry-hopped with wet hops." *BOOM* :p
 
Over heard at the bar "this Jacobins tastes like A1 steak sauce, I love steak sauce!" Wow. Steak sauce really?
 
"I wish they would stop making beers with hops again."

"Do you triple brew your beer like Coors?"

"Why do you need a glass for your beer?"
 
joshualoomis said:
at one of my favorite craft beer bars i ordered a sierra nevada northern hemisphere wet-hopped ale. i commented that it was delicious. the barmaid then tells me (in a bit of a snooty way):

"yeah, it's one of my favorites. i love those wet-hopped beers as opposed to the dry-hopped ones."

i didn't have the heart to tell her that wet hopping refers to ingredients and dry hopping refers to process. i did have a hearty silent chuckle, however.

probably would have blown her mind to tell her the wet hop ale was probably dry hopped...
Click to expand...

Except if you're talking about ingredients, you could refer to hops that have been dried as dry hops (although she probably didn't know this). Similar to how 'light' means two different things depending on if you're talking about color or weight. Dry stout is a dark, light beer.
 
So they have these movie theaters around here that serve food and drinks while you watch, they've got this 40oz mug called the tanker. Nothing special on tap so I asked for mine to be filled with guiness, server goes away, comes back 5 minutes later and says the bar tender won't fill it because guiness is too alcoholic. He was fine with shiner bock however.
 
FermentedScientist said:
Working as a bar manager of a popular German restaurant and an owner of a LHBS, I hear a lot of tall beer tales.

Last year for our town's big Oktoberfest, in our eternal wisdom, we deemed it a good idea for us to be brewing out in the open instead of sampling beer. Whoops. People came by in droves when they smelled the mash and boil. We brewed an ESB. The shop has tons of people inside and we were constantly being drawn in to help them. Not the best decision ever, but I was also split between doing that and watching my bar go down in flames due to volume. It's cool, I allocated help and we dug out from under the mess, but my brewing and business partner got swamped. All in all, not the best day. When we were done, we'd told everyone that it would take weeks until it was ready and gave out a flyer with a date to come back.

We left the carboy unattended for 3 minutes to enjoy a beer after a hectic day and night. We came back and there was a small gaggle of people hovering around the carboy, all of whom we'd told about how the beer wasn't ready. They are sampling from the ported BB.

"Eww. This is flat and awful! What is it??"

"It's an ESB. Extra Special Bitter, a British favorite."

One guy turns to his wife..."Oh that's what's wrong with it, it's British."

"Get out."

I've got tons more when I get time, read this whole thread...love it!
Click to expand...

That's too funny. Please keep sharing!

Side note: you could always tell them it's "cask conditioned", that's why it's flat and warm...damn Brits!
 
stat said:
So they have these movie theaters around here that serve food and drinks while you watch, they've got this 40oz mug called the tanker. Nothing special on tap so I asked for mine to be filled with guiness, server goes away, comes back 5 minutes later and says the bar tender won't fill it because guiness is too alcoholic. He was fine with shiner bock however.
Click to expand...

Did you try to tell them that Guinness has about the same alcohol content as bud light?
 
gcdowd said:
Did you try to tell them that Guinness has about the same alcohol content as bud light?
Click to expand...

I sure thought about it, but I didn't really want to argue with people who handle my food when I can't see them. I was resigned to boring beer at that point anyway.
 
"I love exotic imports--like Dos Equis."

or another conversation:

Self-styled beer expert: "I like German beers because they are so much stronger than ours. They really pack a punch."
Me: "What's your favorite?"
Self-styled beer expert: "Heineken."
Me: "Um...ok...well...um..."
I probably shouldn't invite this guy to try my RIS or point out that Heineken is Dutch.
 
I remember when we were young & a bud had come back from the army,having been stationed in Nuremburg. In the nazi's old converted barracks,no less. He was also talking about how you couldn't drink many of the German beers {'cause they're like 18%!". Yeah right...
 
Krovitz said:
In Massachusetts, happy hour is illegal. No free drinks, half price drinks, or coupons/ gift cards for drinks.
Click to expand...

In Utah, all liquor is state measured for a 1 ounce poor. Drinks are weak and you can't order a double mixed drink. But you can order a sidecar. They bring you an extra shot in a shot glass, and you just dump it in your drink.
 
unionrdr said:
I remember when we were young & a bud had come back from the army,having been stationed in Nuremburg. In the nazi's old converted barracks,no less. He was also talking about how you couldn't drink many of the German beers {'cause they're like 18%!". Yeah right...
Click to expand...

I remember hearing the same thing from a co-worker, so I told him it wasn't true. He claimed that I didn't know what I was talking about because the alcohol content was printed right on the label. He didn't believe me when I told him that often the OG in degrees plato will be listed on the label, and that must be what he's referring to.
 
Someone has probably covered this one already, but years back it was common for American breweries to put out a "bock" beer in the spring. It was thought by the uninformed that it was the dregs from the bottom of the tank. The breweries, of course, only cleaned their tanks once a year, and this dark beer was the product of their spring cleaning!
 
Me,my dad & my bro & friends couldn't wait for the time of year the Stroh's bock came around again. Man,that stuff was good. Even Pizza Hut had pitchers on tap,so after a large pizza,we'd all split 3-4 pitchers of it. Good times.:mug:
 

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