What my wife says

Ok so I just got a new burner and brew pot today and I have been playing with that thing most of the day. Just getting the air mix right and finding the best spot to put it. You know what I'm talking about guys.

Well my wife tells me to stop and do something else. The honey do list is done so what else is there to do. She just doesn't get the point on spending all this money onbrew stuff. What does your wife's think?

Same.

I find it easier to brew or play with brew toys when she's not home.

I love my wife. She has her hobbies and I have mine. As long as I work on my honey-do list, the brewery work is fine. She also loves when we throw beer parties and likes the beer I brew.

I have a similar situation. My wife straight up told me "don't talk to me about beer", to which I replied "then what am I going to talk about?".
It's easy to shrug it off and segment yourself from all of her stuff, but I find balance is key. I spend time watching movies I don't really care for, not too often, but still spending time, and she doesn't mind so much that I am brewing two batches while simultaneously bottling two batches and she knows not to bother me. If she is still giving you trouble, I would address it now and just say it is a hobby that you are really interested in and that you need some time however often to spend on it. Good luck, I know it can be difficult sometimes. Is she a beer drinker? Sometimes that helps. Mine is not, though she gets in moods where she will try stuff out to see if her tastes have changed. She's more into moscatos and sparkling sweet wines.

Got lucky, have an indulgent spouse wrt my hobbies, and she enjoys my brews!

It's all good! :rockin:

Cheers!

My wife is just glad I am not bothering her.

I think mine is just glad it's kettles and beer rather than hookers and blow. It's just easier on everyone if I have things to keep me from getting bored.

Jbird said:

Ok so I just got a new burner and brew pot today and I have been playing with that thing most of the day. Just getting the air mix right and finding the best spot to put it. You know what I'm talking about guys.

Well my wife tells me to stop and do something else. The honey do list is done so what else is there to do. She just doesn't get the point on spending all this money onbrew stuff. What does your wife's think?

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I don't have a wife. But I think it's important for each partner to be totally respectful. If my partner told me to "stop and do something else", I wouldn't take it well at all.

I don't garden, but I would never tell my spouse to get out of his garden and "go do something else", as that is his passion and not mine. He better not tell me to get out of my brewery or stop messing with my equipment, because that's my passion and not his! I wouldn't be very tolerant of being told what to do.

Maybe tell her that you have an idea for a new hobby or two. SCUBA Diving and/or boating. The brewgear looks like peanuts in comparison.

Yooper said:

I don't have a wife. But I think it's important for each partner to be totally respectful. If my partner told me to "stop and do something else", I wouldn't take it well at all.

I don't garden, but I would never tell my spouse to get out of his garden and "go do something else", as that is his passion and not mine. He better not tell me to get out of my brewery or stop messing with my equipment, because that's my passion and not his! I wouldn't be very tolerant of being told what to do.

Maybe tell her that you have an idea for a new hobby or two. SCUBA Diving and/or boating. The brewgear looks like peanuts in comparison.

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+1. I wouldn't be real happy if my wife said that to me either. I'm so lucky to have a very supportive wife in just about every stupid thing I want to do. Her philosophy is, if I'm happy she's happy. It's funny, that's my philosophy too..I'm pretty fortunate. It's too bad that your wife doesn't see that you have a passion for brewing and brewing equipment.

Sometimes I get the impression my wife didn't think I was spending enough money on brewing equipment so she told me to open a brewery. There are worse problems to have, but I'm sure it's nothing a quick talk about your interests and hobbies can't fix.

I get the brunt end on both sides...

I brew a lot with my father-in-law and some friends; group brew days with a few guys. On the days before and after "brew day" all of our wives get on us about the time we spend prepping, organizing, weighing, calculating, measuring, actually brewing, smoking cigars, making a mess of the kitchen during clean-up. Then watching/checking fermentors, sanitizing, transferring, washing (in the kitchen again), and kegging.

On the other hand..... if we run out of beer on tap, WE catch hell for NOT brewing enough!

Dammed if we do, dammed if we don't. So, we try to "do" more.... I'd rather be in trouble with beer on tap than be in trouble without.

MT

sundaypapers said:

I have a similar situation. My wife straight up told me "don't talk to me about beer", to which I replied "then what am I going to talk about?".
It's easy to shrug it off and segment yourself from all of her stuff, but I find balance is key. I spend time watching movies I don't really care for, not too often, but still spending time, and she doesn't mind so much that I am brewing two batches while simultaneously bottling two batches and she knows not to bother me. If she is still giving you trouble, I would address it now and just say it is a hobby that you are really interested in and that you need some time however often to spend on it. Good luck, I know it can be difficult sometimes. Is she a beer drinker? Sometimes that helps. Mine is not, though she gets in moods where she will try stuff out to see if her tastes have changed. She's more into moscatos and sparkling sweet wines.

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Well I have to say she is not a beer drinker. Sucks but more beer for me. She knows that it is a hobby for me. I think that what she does not like is the amount of money I just spent. I mean a few hundred. We have six kids and believe me I help out a lot with them. So a little me time is well needed. She gets her time too.

It's just funny how she gets up set when I tinker with my stuff for an hour or so. She thinks its a waste if time of I'm not brewing. But I only brew once a month so I have to do something in the mean time.

MalFet said:

I think mine is just glad it's kettles and beer rather than hookers and blow. It's just easier on everyone if I have things to keep me from getting bored.

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Nicely put.

Got in trouble yesterday for an extract kit that I ordered last week (THAT should be your vday gift...) although I told her about it before I ordered and when I actually ordered it. Both times she said ok. She doesn't understand. I tried to get her to participate in the brew process tonight but she said things like "yeah yeah you boiled all the stuff and now your gonna add something." Meanwhile she has a dream of one day starting a cupcake business (right now she gets the occasional paying order), and I am totally supportive. Hell, half of her Christmas was cupcake related. Just got to get her to understand that beer is my cupcake.

Beer cupcakes sound gross. Then again, I just skimmed your post.

But if you used a really malty beer... Maybe just in the icing

MalFet said:

I think mine is just glad it's kettles and beer rather than hookers and blow. It's just easier on everyone if I have things to keep me from getting bored.

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Exactly. While it wasn't hookers and blow, if you fly off *one* motorcycle at 75 mph, suddenly brewing looks like a much better hobby to SWMBO...

citingzero said:

Just got to get her to understand that beer is my cupcake.

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That statement on its own, out of context, is one of the greatest things Ive ever heard!

Divorced mine and actually started brewing less, draw your own conclusions

Our first married Christmas she says 'I got you a hobby' (brewing).
This years anniversary was copper, so she got me a copper ale and a copper wort chiller.

So she could say to me 'go do something' but well she started me!! And she doesn't say anything, other than the honey due list which never seems done.

RainyDay said:

That statement on its own, out of context, is one of the greatest things Ive ever heard!

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Thanks. You don't have to take it out of context. The meaning is still the same

ACbrewer said:

Our first married Christmas she says 'I got you a hobby' (brewing).
This years anniversary was copper, so she got me a copper ale and a copper wort chiller.

So she could say to me 'go do something' but well she started me!! And she doesn't say anything, other than the honey due list which never seems done.

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Pretty much the same deal here except for my birthday. "You need a hobby that doesn't break you" She must have meant physically because she didn't bat an eye when I built my AG system. She's just happy I am doing something at home.

citingzero said:

Got in trouble yesterday for an extract kit that I ordered last week (THAT should be your vday gift...) although I told her about it before I ordered and when I actually ordered it. Both times she said ok. She doesn't understand. I tried to get her to participate in the brew process tonight but she said things like "yeah yeah you boiled all the stuff and now your gonna add something." Meanwhile she has a dream of one day starting a cupcake business (right now she gets the occasional paying order), and I am totally supportive. Hell, half of her Christmas was cupcake related. Just got to get her to understand that beer is my cupcake.

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That's so true man. Beer is our cupcake.

Heh... My wife offered to stay up and help with my insanely long brew day; just to be supportive.

Also, she's buying her own console as soon as she finishes the current RPG from my collection. Yeah... that's pretty cool

Is this gonna save us money (home brewing) "yes love"

I have a never ending honey do list, but she supports me all the way, and I brew as much for her taste as my own. It;s all good here!

Honey Do List??? Wow... My wife tried giving me the list one time. I handed it back and said something to the effect "I don't think so. I don't give you things to do. So, don't give me any."

That was the first and last time she ever handed me a list. Now, we talk about what needs to be done around the house.

The only time she gets bothered with my brewing is when my brewing takes longer than I told her and we had plans to spend time together.

We respect each others hobbies.

Oh yeah. She gets a little bothered because I stopped brewing the style of beer that she likes. Keep in mind that I would to brew for her, but she only drinks about 3 beers in any given month.

E

I'm actually taking my wife to our LHBS today to get the ingredients for her first batch. I think I may be a little more excited than she is. That aside, the last time my buddies came over to brew, she brought us out a tray of chocolate covered bacon she cooked for us and kept trays of food coming after that. She fully supports my hobby and like many, is happy I'm doing something I enjoy while still being at home.

citingzero said:

Just got to get her to understand that beer is my cupcake.

Click to expand...

RainyDay said:

That statement on its own, out of context, is one of the greatest things Ive ever heard!

Click to expand...

Jbird said:

That's so true man. Beer is our cupcake.

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I swear to god, I have tears in my eyes

I can see it in a movie, our plucky hero finally convinces his cupcake-making wife that he just HAS TO BREW, it's HIS CUPCAKE

right before long montage of them baking and brewing together while whatever flavor-of-the-month pop star's current career-boosting inspirational but completely forgettable song plays

no physical honey do list... that would piss me off but we talk about things that need to be done. Of course there are things that should be done before brewing but that isn't going to happen any time soon.

I normally get "you are obsessed!" I think she is just jealous because I still find time to brew and she doesn't have time for her hobbies. We have a 7 month old. I normally put him in a carrier and he helps! He loves being apart of whatever I am doing!

Like many here, my wife is supportive since she likes beer and likes that I have something to do instead of hovering over her bored on the weekends. I get really restless if I don't do something every day for some reason.

I keep my expenses low by buying in bulk a couple times a year and I buy almost all of my equipment used. She actually bought me a refractometer for Christmas a couple years ago so she obviously gets it.

I try to brew early on the weekends so it doesn't monopolize the whole day. She is gone one weekend a month for school too so I try to utilize that weekend for hanging out with friends and brewing and general debauchery. Marriage is a compromise every step of the way and hobbies are no exception. My wife just bought a new laptop this week and I am using that as an excuse to add a tap to my keezer and buy a new brew pot.

Brewing is an obsession for me. Knitting is my wife's brewing. We talk about our hobbies and encourage one another. No complaints when she buys wooly mammoth yarn from Siberia and No complaints when new equipment materializes in the garage. I schedule my brew days for more than respect of her time as we have children. I involve the boys and they are learning the science of brewing. My wife loves her alone time when I brew. If she gave me grief over something I do once a month, she would soon find out how big a dick I can be. That's when I start snorting booger sugar off a hooker's .....

The only time I caught flak was when I had the "Bros" over for a brew day barbecue and we opened my bottle of blue label. Think of the "Hangover" except we never left the house. I might add that soon after the blue label, we drank the rest of my black label. Two of my friends are whiskey drinkers. Brew days are now limited to a few pints of homebrew.

Does you wife like wine?? Make up a batch of wine for her if she does, then maybe she'll understand how great brewing is. I made a batch of White Wine, Pinio Grisio, ended up with 29 bottles, and my wife is quite happy with it. It's just as good or better than most $5 - $20 bottles we've ever bought.

Also, I like to plan ahead, and tell her, "hey this next Sunday i'm going to brew some beer". That way she is prepared for it, and I can knock out any honey do list before that.

citingzero said:

Got in trouble yesterday for an extract kit that I ordered last week (THAT should be your vday gift...) although I told her about it before I ordered and when I actually ordered it. Both times she said ok. She doesn't understand. I tried to get her to participate in the brew process tonight but she said things like "yeah yeah you boiled all the stuff and now your gonna add something." Meanwhile she has a dream of one day starting a cupcake business (right now she gets the occasional paying order), and I am totally supportive. Hell, half of her Christmas was cupcake related. Just got to get her to understand that beer is my cupcake.

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I am in the exact same boat. Cupcake business and all. I like to throw out the possible cost of opening a brewery every once in a while. It makes the 40 bucks a batch and occasional 100 on equipment sound like beans. Our house is like Highlander though. Talent wise, we each have an excellent chance of opening a brewery or cupcake joint. The problem is we have kids so the budget makes it so there can only...be...one. We are prolonging the inevitable spok kirk battle for who goes first.

If I get slack on the pipeline, I get scolded by the wife. Go brew some damn beer! What's wrong with you!

The only complaint she has is that I keep sticking fermenters around the dining room that aren't pretty. Now, only the glass carboy is allowed because it looks nice. Oh, and get the 5,345 empty bottles out of the house and somewhere else.

I was pleasantly surprised when she allowed me to take two shelves out of our fridge so I could cold crash my porter for a few days. That deserves some flowers and candy and a back rub.

Mine was initially worried over the cost, especially since I started with no equipment and had to buy everything. I think she (wisely) was wondering what would happen if I spent all this money and then didn't enjoy it. Then she was thinking that a kit was around $100, so she was worried I was going to use the power or grocery money for beer. She said we would have to budget carefully -- which is true, because we don't make much. But when I showed her real kit prices (and then explained that buying in bulk could be even cheaper) and figured the cost per beer, she felt better about it. The big thing now is that we're both trying to lose weight and there's no point brewing a bunch if we can't drink it.

My wife got me the the equipment to brew for Christmas I get immersed in my hobbies I'm already at twenty gallons but we have an understanding if I'm not passed out baked in the tub we are fine she buys her stuff I buy mine.

GrogNerd said:

I swear to god, I have tears in my eyes

I can see it in a movie, our plucky hero finally convinces his cupcake-making wife that he just HAS TO BREW, it's HIS CUPCAKE

right before long montage of them baking and brewing together while whatever flavor-of-the-month pop star's current career-bosting inspirational but completely forgettable song plays

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This thread is F(*!@^ funny

My wife is really great. She enjoys beer and likes me brewing. However she wasn't really keen on me moving to full boils outside. She was upset about the idea of not seeing me for three hours each brew day. When the time came though she changed her mind. We took the kids for a walk while the mash happened and watched them play during the boil. She enjoyed a beer (I don't drink on brewdays) and we actually spent 3 nice hours outside as a family. Now her mantra is "why would I be against it if it will make the beer taste better?"