I am an idiot

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leftcontact said:
I thought that might work with hamsters too. So I fed a hamster to a local barn owl

That was too clever for an idiot thread.
 
I think i'll brew my next batch in my turtle and dry hamster in secondary with my new White House brew kit.

Well, if the turtles escape and you want to make your deck look bigger, you must landscape. Cut down the shrubs.

Shrubbery? That's bubkiss! Forget the undergrowth and go with toenail clippings. 1/3 an ounce for ever milliliter of wort. It will add a fungus like feel to your pizza.

And don’t forget the ghekos. They are often the forgotten reptile nuance that will bring to an ale a black widow spider aroma with a dry hopped hippopotumas flavor. Synergize that with ostrich bittering feathers and you’ll have an ale to die fore. Dry hop for 24.32 days with butterflies.
 
Ghekos? I think not. Horny toads will go much better with the poison dragon liver.
 
Ah, my good man I believe you are mistaken. Posion dragon liver is strictly for lagers! It's okay, RDWEatASPider. I made the same mistake myself in earlier days. All my quacky Pale Ales now include either ducks or Ghekos depending on which is in season.

You really can't go wrong with either.
 
An idiot's "My Replies" page

screenshot-56487.bmp
 
Okay, getting back on topic Leadgolem:

I can't speak about mandrake. Have never used it in an ale or lager.. To be honest, I have no idea what it is. :eek:

On pigeons! I'm surprised nobody has brought this up before. I have myself quite forgotten about the sublime quality a few drops of pigeon’s blood brings to a beer's heartiness. Honey malt brings a bit of sweetness, reptiles bring to beer what water is to vinegar, crocks turtles, and porcupines..Just hard to explain for a simple layman like me. All I can say is WONDERFUL!


But pigeons, ah... pigeons. Have you ever looked into a beautiful blue summer sky and then asked yourself a question about life? Have you ever laid down your head on a soft pillow and happy to be alive and grateful not dead? Have you ever just wondered why the sound of mach speed is relevant to the ground upon which you stead?

Well my friend maybe I'm alone in those questions...

But I will let you know one thing for sure. Pigeons bring to beer a simple pleasure for sure.

To what are you assured from that you probably ask?
Man that’s to easy..it's (lame) and a pain in your A$$
 
Paul Christian said:
Would you like to make a Mandragora, as powerful as the homunculus (little man in a bottle) so praised by Paracelsus? Then find a root of the plant called bryony. Take it out of the ground on a Monday (the day of the moon), a little time after the vernal equinox. Cut off the ends of the root and bury it at night in some country churchyard in a dead man's grave. For thirty days water it with cow's milk in which three bats have been drowned. When the thirty-first day arrives, take out the root in the middle of the night and dry it in an oven heated with branches of verbena; then wrap it up in a piece of a dead man's winding-sheet and carry it with you everywhere.
And
Shakespeare said:
"Give me to drink mandragora...
That I might sleep out this great gap of time
My Antony is away."
 
Hey Big Black2XIPA man. only 66 more. I'm pretty sure tomorrow or the next mendarini will score a new beer made in his name. I probably spelled it wrong, but you are deep into this game.
 
Hey Big Black2XIPA man. only 66 more. I'm pretty sure tomorrow or the next mendarini will score a new beer made in his name. I probably spelled it wrong, but you are deep into this game.
Wait, what game? I thought this was a serious discussion of brewing with crocs, turtles, and other potentially animate objects. :fro:
 
You are quite correct Leadgolem. I apologize for any levity implied or direct. This is a serious subject and should not be taken lightly.

BTW.. I have a starter going on right now.. I used an exact 10:1 ratio of elephant's blood to giraffe fur
and maintain a temperature of precisely 24.32 degrees Calvin. The whole thing is churning upon a 10 litre stirplate inside my When-Was-I-Last-In-Her, flask.

When should I add the mosquitoes?
 
But this is war! We must lead the charge. Without the proper beer to fuel our army where will we stand once we meet the great birds?

We must rally our troops. Brew the best. Stand for sitting. Lastly, to war we must go. The turtles must be downed in battle. We must bathe in the tranquility of a land of crock pots and oversee the Bunsen burners of society.

Now I must ask of all of you: "Will you go to war with me, brother?"

Let me also say, Wumbo.
 
But this is war! We must lead the charge. Without the proper beer to fuel our army where will we stand once we meet the great birds?

We must rally our troops. Brew the best. Stand for sitting. Lastly, to war we must go. The turtles must be downed in battle. We must bathe in the tranquility of a land of crock pots and oversee the Bunsen burners of society.

Now I must ask of all of you: "Will you go to war with me, brother?"

Let me also say, Wumbo.

Scrub clean the brewpots, mix up vast vats of sanitizer, it's to war gents, to war
 
So loud that went across the ocean and I actually hear it here in Spain
/ignore user sonofgrok
Did I type that in the rigth place? I think I´m an idiot.
 
menerdari said:
NM not thinking clearly, can I delete a thread?

Going back in time..I seem to remember something about deleting this post. Hrrmm. .. nope wait, I was thinking "demanding a top roast" ..thats it!
 
Wow does that haves a flux condenser in case you mess up with your brew and go back in time?

I'm still working on the flax compreseratorizer to create the time storm for brewing in the past but so far i haven't figured out how to adjust for a specific time. My last attempt i ended up with a dino beer. Turned out a bit oily and tasted like chicken.
 
I'm still working on the flax compreseratorizer to create the time storm for brewing in the past but so far i haven't figured out how to adjust for a specific time. My last attempt i ended up with a dino beer. Turned out a bit oily and tasted like chicken.

You are probably missing the time relativity dilapidation compensator, without out that is is hard to maintain flux coagulation as relative density increases.
 
menerdari said:
You are probably missing the time relativity dilapidation compensator, without out that is is hard to maintain flux coagulation as relative density increases.

Not to mention in can seriously skunk your ale...
 
I read where Marty said you didn't need a separate coagulator when using flax vs flux. As the flax compensates for the density differences in the space time curve within the fermentor.

Maybe if i do it Gangnam style it will help.
 
I am f****** pissed. this was a serious discussion about makin good drinkable stuff out of some useless animals like turtles and stuff and you turn this into a discussion about the Damned flux capacitor which does not exist.
 
Obliviousbrew said:
Well only 49 posts to the idiotic double black ipa. Wesley you should start working on your recipe.

Wow, we're getting close! Looks like I'll be brewing a black IPA when I get home from Chicago at the beginning of October. The recipe is semi-there. Of course it will go through many drafts before I decide on the perfect one. But it will be grand and definitely idiotic!
20lbs crocahamsturtles
3lbs various rodents
1lb barn owl pellets
5oz rabbit ears
3oz pure stupidity
2L Yeast starter from a beard hair I stole from John Maier while he was sleeping.

Wait.......I'm an idiot!
 
I am f****** pissed. this was a serious discussion about makin good drinkable stuff out of some useless animals like turtles and stuff and you turn this into a discussion about the Damned flux capacitor which does not exist.

This from the guy who brews with mythical creatures...

The topic came about as a way to solve potential problems with said useless animal brew in the past from the future. Yet another tool in the brewing box.

And im using flax not flux... sheesh... noob.

You don't like my Lambo replica?
 
Wow, we're getting close! Looks like I'll be brewing a black IPA when I get home from Chicago at the beginning of October. The recipe is semi-there. Of course it will go through many drafts before I decide on the perfect one. But it will be grand and definitely idiotic!
20lbs crocahamsturtles
3lbs various rodents
1lb barn owl pellets
5oz rabbit ears
3oz pure stupidity
2L Yeast starter from a beard hair I stole from John Maier while he was sleeping.

Wait.......I'm an idiot!

I don't see how you are going to get anywhere near black without roasting the rodents.
 
I heat the properties of baby powder added to your beer make the bottles as soft as a baby's bald spot. Any takers?
 
bleme said:
I don't see how you are going to get anywhere near black without roasting the rodents.

Well, I planned on using exclusively black rodents. But I think the roasting would add a nice touch. I also might boil this in a hot tar pot. That should add some good color.
 
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