one has to go....

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Depends on which one you love more. Best bet, if you like brewing and want to keep the wife, let her find an expensive hobby or two. It might cost you a little $$$, but it's great to hold over her head when she starts griping about how much money you spend to make beer.
 
McKBrew said:
Depends on which one you love more. Best bet, if you like brewing and want to keep the wife, let her find an expensive hobby or two. It might cost you a little $$$, but it's great to hold over her head when she starts griping about how much money you spend to make beer.
Best advice I have heard all week! :rockin:
 
Dude, that sucks. WOrk it out, you can do both.... is it the money? Spend 150 bucks to buy some bulk grain, hops, yeast and then she will notice you ar emaking beer, but not spending money.

Is it the drinking? Well, you can cut back drinking without stopping brewing.

Is it that she wants your undivided attention ALL THE TIME? Then maybe she should go.
 
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Who wears the pants in this relationship? From the soubns of it... she does. Be a man... tell her your gonna keep brewing.

But seriously... that blows. What was it that pushed her to give you that ultimatium? Any way you can convince her to let you brew part time?
 
My FIRST ex-wife had a problem with me building a street machine type Camaro. And it was HER's and for HER! '87 TPI IROC motor and 4speed auto in a '78 Camaro we bought new. Stunning car. Started in '89, same year son was born. Car is fast, gets good mileage (better than before), and is now qualified for permanent antique plates. D'd in 2000.

I've still got the car, and 1 less problem. She was/is Manic/Depressive, paranoid, obsessive compulsive, schizo (at least 5 distinct personalities-per son), delusional, and yet it was ALL MY FAULT.

This is WAY more common than people give it credit.

Been married twice-current wife detested my gardening, although she didn't have to do it. I moved and didn't continue gardening. If brewing is gonna be an issue-guess what? I'm brewing and that's that. Deal with it or find someone that she CAN mold.

Whatever happened to the 'I Do' part of taking someone for who they are? I ain't gonna pick HER hobbies.
 
There have got to be some underlying issues that we can only guess at. She could be a controlling wench, or she could be concerned that you have a drinking problem. Should could be jealous of the time that you spend brewing and not with her - or she could be genuinely concerned about household finances. You've got to figure out the root cause of this conflict.
 
Take the King Solomon approach.


Get rid of the one which is complaining about the other. If the homebrewing is complaining about the wife, get rid of the homebrewing.
 
Damn Squirrels said:
Take the King Solomon approach.


Get rid of the one which is complaining about the other. If the homebrewing is complaining about the wife, get rid of the homebrewing.


That's perfect! I'll keep that in mind if one of them starts complaining.

I've actually used a different approach. My old hobby was much more dangerous so this one looks extremely mild in comparison. Well, actually, it IS extremely mild even without the comparison.

You could give up homebrewing and take up grizzly bear hunting in the nude. With a spatula. Now THAT'S a macho hobby. She'll beg you to brew again. Either that or do something really illegal or really fast. You're more likely to survive one of those to brew again. Heh.
 
My wife bought me my first brew bucket a 1 1/2 years ago. It was not even a complete kit it was just a fermenting bucket and the ingrediant kit. Now my operation has taken a chunk of the garage but she has yet to say one word. I find that wives tend to overlook all of the money that they spend on shopping and other things and only focus on what the man spends. Good luck!
 
If you're asking us to help you decide then the ONLY reasonable reply is...let's see a picture of both of them...:D

OK, I was just being a complete a$$, but you could keep the supplies, but just go buy all your beer. Remember to keep ALL beer receipts. After 1-3 or 3-6 months do a price comparison. ;)

However, if there underlying issues...you're not paying attention to her, etc., the trick is to say exactly the same thing to her when she's reading a book, or something. Then there's cuddling when she is not ready for it, like doing the laundry. Of course, there are drawbacks to those types of situations whic could lead to more sex. The down side is she'll wish you were in the basement brewing if you start to smother her.;)
 
My wife bitches about the time I spend on the computer chatting with you guys and brewing.

She has no problem going out with the ladies when she wants and will watch an endless amount of crap TV. I hate crap TV; Oprah, American Idol, Survivor, Nanny 911, The HBO shows Intervention, MTV's Real World. Any reality BS Show.

She watches a ton of it. Just last night I said stop watching the stuff you know I hate and I will spend more time with you. Last night we watched 3 hours of "The Shield" together. We had to catch up on the show we watch while I was out of the country for two weeks.

You have to agree on how much time you spend together and how much time you spend doing your thing.

I would never give up brewing for my wife just because she doesn't like it very much. I won't allow her to make those kind of rules for me. If I did, they would never stop coming. She's not my mother. If my wife was ill and couldn't take care of herself then thats another case. The reason would have to be really good for me to quit this hobby.

If you like doing it, then do it. Its no longer lent!!

Make her give up something she likes doing. See what she says.

My wife has no hobby, she needs one. She never seems to find one. Her life revolves around TV. I will bring it up everytime crap TV is on....

It might be phase shes going through. I would just talk it out, a lot of times they just want to heard.

:mug:
 
Honestly I see a divorce in your future. You seem to have a very negative attitude about the woman who is suppose to be your soul mate. The person who completes you.

Why did you get married?

Do you spend too much time brewing? Do you drink too much?


Schlenkerla said:
My wife bitches about the time I spend on the computer chatting with you guys and brewing.

She has no problem going out with the ladies when she wants and will watch an endless amount of crap TV. I hate crap TV; Oprah, American Idol, Survivor, Nanny 911, The HBO shows Intervention, MTV's Real World. Any reality BS Show.

She watches a ton of it. Just last night I said stop watching the stuff you know I hate and I will spend more time with you. Last night we watched 3 hours of "The Shield" together. We had to catch up on the show we watch while I was out of the country for two weeks.

You have to agree on how much time you spend together and how much time you spend doing your thing.

I would never give up brewing for my wife just because she doesn't like it very much. I won't allow her to make those kind of rules for me. If I did, they would never stop coming. She's not my mother. If my wife was ill and couldn't take care of herself then thats another case. The reason would have to be really good for me to quit this hobby.

If you like doing it, then do it. Its no longer lent!!

Make her give up something she likes doing. See what she says.

My wife has no hobby, she needs one. She never seems to find one. Her life revolves around TV. I will bring it up everytime crap TV is on....

It might be phase shes going through. I would just talk it out, a lot of times they just want to heard.

:mug:
 
Opposites attract-seems weird but it works. It just isn't always easy.

My wife's hobby is throwing parties. Gets old and can be a PITA. Wish she would just get a hobby different than trying to control mine.
 
Todd said:
Honestly I see a divorce in your future. You seem to have a very negative attitude about the woman who is suppose to be your soul mate. The person who completes you.

Why did you get married?

Do you spend too much time brewing? Do you drink too much?

OMG are you a newlywed or did you just finish watching Jerry Mcguire?

I think you are dead wrong. I been married 9 years, common law 16 years. I will spend all of the time she wants with her as long as its something we can do that we both like. I will not give up somthing I like to do something I detest. Frankly, that's not fair and will never happen. (On a regular basis)

Its a two way street here. She doesn't make all of the rules. If she did it would not be a balanced relationship. To answer your question, no I don't spend too much time brewing and I hardly drink.

If I was to divorce my wife it would not be for brewing or drinking. I would be for her thinking she can make all the rules in this relationship. My wife can be overbearing at times and tends to worry too much about little things. She takes meds for it too.

My point earlier is sometimes you need to placate to their desires and feelings. They seem to operate off of emotion more so than logic at times. As I said earlier somethimes they just want to be heard and know that you care.

If you don't know this already you don't know women very well. - :mad:
 
I've been married 6 yrs.

I guess I just took what you were saying wrong. If my wife is watching shows I don't like I also don't hang out with her. She has never told me to quite doing something I like, I took that to mean you had a problem.

Sorry.

Schlenkerla said:
OMG are you a newlywed or did you just finish watching Jerry Mcguire?

I think you are dead wrong. I been married 9 years, common law 16 years. I will spend all of the time she wants with her as long as its something we can do that we both like. I will not give up somthing I like to do something I detest. Frankly, that's not fair and will never happen. (On a regular basis)

Its a two way street here. She doesn't make all of the rules. If she did it would not be a balanced relationship. To answer your question, no I don't spend too much time brewing and I hardly drink.

If I was to divorce my wife it would not be for brewing or drinking. I would be for her thinking she can make all the rules in this relationship. My wife can be overbearing at times and tends to worry too much about little things. She takes meds for it too.

My point earlier is sometimes you need to placate to their desires and feelings. They seem to operate off of emotion more so than logic at times. As I said earlier somethimes they just want to be heard and know that you care.

If you don't know this already you don't know women very well. - :mad:
 
SWMBO has her horses. I brew every time she goes trail riding with her girlfriends. It's a good deal. She's gone, I brew, & when she gets back, we both enjoy a cold one.
 
Schlenkerla said:
OMG are you a newlywed or did you just finish watching Jerry Mcguire?

When I read that sappy brainwashing BS, I thought the same exact thing---you had me at "f*ck you". :p

Honestly, thought, if you really, truly love brewing, and you explain this to your wife, and she still demands that you stop it altogether, then I doubt such a relationship has a great future. There are two of you in this relationship, and for her to demand that you stop doing something that you love is pretty f'd up and illustrates, to me at least, that she has very little respect for you or the relationship. Now, of course, all that changes if your habit is becoming destructive...for example, if you have kids and its causing you to be a bad father because you spend all your time brewing, dreaming about brewing, and drinking. Or maybe you're spending all your money on it. That's a valid issue too. But to just demand that you stop it altogether is BS. My wife didn't like the smell of the brewing process, or the mess it made in the kitchen, so we compromised and I bought turkey fryers and do it all outside. She loves my brew and supports my hoppy hobby wholeheartedly. That's how things should work. Even if your wife doesn't like your brew, the least she could do is have a little respect for you.
 
My wife demands that I brew when the beer supply starts to get low! Just lucky I guess!
 
Todd said:
I've been married 6 yrs.

I guess I just took what you were saying wrong. If my wife is watching shows I don't like I also don't hang out with her. She has never told me to quite doing something I like, I took that to mean you had a problem.

Sorry.

Todd - No problem, my wife misses me I was gone in China during our anniversary. She knew this ahead of time and got a large string of pearls, pearl earings and a pearl bracelet. I got nothing at all for my part of being a husband, but I'm not upset about this. As far as the last month goes I spent 4 weeks in China, one week at home taking care of honey-dos while she was at work.

Just lately she was bitchy about time because of the travel. Her best friend's relationship is on the the rocks, her friend's husband was injured on the job and he's also a diabetic that doesn't take care of himself or his wife. So he's at home and does nothing to keep the house up. Impotency is a problem too. My wife's friend is screwing around out of displeasure over the situation when she visits our house. I don't like that at all. I don't want strange men in our house and especially so when I'm not there. I'm also kind of friends with him too.

My wife seems to draw crazy parallels to their relationship and ours and its nowhere even close. I need to spend time with my wife, too much time alone is not good for them if you know what I mean. She not used to me being gone either.

If I spend time in front of the computer chatting with you guys at night she will have grounds to be pissed. :D

:mug:
 
I caught **** from SWMBO last time I brewed because it took so long. It was myfirst mini-mash, I told her it would take 2 hours...oops! But, I think she is over it since she helped me bottle last week.

From now on:
SWMBO: "How long is this going to take?"
Me: "All day!"
SWMBO: "Can we go ___ after you are done?"
Me: "Nope, I am going to be too tired."
 
Beerrific said:
I caught **** from SWMBO last time I brewed because it took so long. It was myfirst mini-mash, I told her it would take 2 hours...opps! But, I think she is over it since she helped me bottle last week.

From now on:
SWMBO: "How long is this going to take?"
Me: "All day!"
SWMBO: "Can we go ___ after you are done?"
Me: "Nope, I am going to be too tired."

Change the last line to "Sure, if you help me clean up!"
 
Outside of not liking anything I make, my wife is mostly fine with brewing. Sometimes she gets annoyed that a session takes so long, but I guess she thinks it's better than some other things I could be doing.

Thankfully, we both pretty much like the same shows, movies and food and have similar outlooks on life. I guess that's why we get along so well.
 
rdwj said:
Outside of not liking anything I make, my wife is mostly fine with brewing. Sometimes she gets annoyed that a session takes so long, but I guess she thinks it's better than some other things I could be doing.

Thankfully, we both pretty much like the same shows, movies and food and have similar outlooks on life. I guess that's why we get along so well.

Yeah, the wife got a little peeved when I was brewing like an effing madman there for awhile---just trying to get in as much as possible before summer temps made my basement no good for fermenting---but yeah, it was overboard. She had grounds to complain, since brewing typically means that she loses me for half of a saturday, and it was happening all the time. So I took a good long break, and when I brewed a couple weeks ago, she was totally cool with it. Give, take, compromise.

Oh, and you know, if she doesn't like what you brew, then you should make better beer. ;)
 
I'm with ya Evan, my wife is very cool with brewing except when I go on a binge. I brewed about 8 batches in 7 weeks. She was starting to get alittle pissed off. But, took a big long break as well, spent a few hours bottling today, no complaints.
 
LOL, 3 pages and the original poster hasn't even replied. He was probably just blowing off steam, found this board, made the simple post and has no idea what he started.
 
seefresh said:
LOL, 3 pages and the original poster hasn't even replied. He was probably just blowing off steam, found this board, made the simple post and has no idea what he started.

LOL! Probably... I think his underlying issue was that he probably talked constantly about it and wouldn't let her help...

Shoulda gotten her involved in the brewing operations and made it about her.
 
Damn I feel lucky. My wife BREWS....GREAT BEER EVEN!!! Only negative look I have ever gotten about brewing was when she told me "So when you ask me if we can build a sculpture, you are also volunteering to park in the driveway correct?" lol.. Love her to death.
 
p.s. I personally think you are all reading too much into the O.P. I took it as a joke topic..... "If you had to choose one, which would it be?" kind of thing
 
DeadYetiBrew said:
. . .and made it about her.

Seriously, make a beer she likes or name it something she likes will buy you a couple 'free' brew sessions.
 
Drunkensatyr said:
p.s. I personally think you are all reading too much into the O.P. I took it as a joke topic..... "If you had to choose one, which would it be?" kind of thing

Giving up homebrewing is no laughing matter and should not be made a joke of......


































I took it as a joke too....
 
My wife doesn't complain at all....she even pressured me into buying the SS for some new false bottoms.....
I gave up rock climbing for the most part as well as my CBR F4i for being a husband and a daddy, brewing was the least of her worries.
 
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