you have all failed me

Festivus nears, so the Airing of Grievances warmup can commence. Why didn't you people warn me that I would have to wait forever if I made wine? I could be drinking my first brewed beer about now, but instead, I have only just now figured out that if I want a homebrewed drink anytime soon, I'd better start brewing some goddamned beer, and pronto, because I'm thristy.

Next time, pull a noob aside and say, "Hey, don't **** up and make wine. Make some beer first."

I'm tired of drinking my green Apfelwein. I have another month to wait now, no matter what.

I hope I can put together a keezer and then I'll buy something good from a local microbrewer, and I hope it's BETTER THAN ANYTHING YOU HAVE so you will be jealous and rue the day you laughed and snickered at me.

To Be fare, The only time we laugh and snicker at you is when you're all lickered up on green apfelwein and produce posts like this!

BigKahuna said:

To Be fare, The only time we laugh and snicker at you is when you're all lickered up on green apfelwein and produce posts like this!

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thatz fokin funny

Festivus? Seriously... ?

You're gonna celebrate a sitcom holiday?

How is a sitcom holiday any different than a hallmark holiday?

Stop yer goddamn whining and brew a bitter! It will be ready before anything else and then you can get back to not being a whining 'lil fluffycat!

buy another fermentor LOL

I have my fermentor open. 6.5 gallon. How long to bitter?

what you worred about...u just can secondary......in a fermentor...buy a brewers best kit & enjoy

A low gravity bitter can be ready in 3 weeks.

This might be the best Festivus ever!

I'm ready for the 'feats of strength".

arturo7 said:

You're gonna celebrate a sitcom holiday

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I started celebrating festivus after Chrismahanukwanzakah became such a commercial holiday.

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WOW, holy crap - I must not be in Verizon's "target area", I never saw that one! I'm boycotting now too. It used to be such a great, inclusively indie holiday. But now, *sigh*.

I'm going to start celebrating Pick Your Toejam Day. Let's keep it underground.

GOOD GAWD!

I just went to the microbrew tasting at the Michigan Renaissance fair. There was a Dragonmead beer there called Tripple or something like that, and it almost made me barf. It makes me sick just thinking of it. That wasn't just the worst beer, it was the worst form of liquid I have ever tasted. WTF?

So, they had FOUR beers to taste (wow! such a great fair!). This is how I rate them:

Magic Hat #9: Definitely the best. Below average.
Shiner Bock: Second best. Drinkable. Not great.
Under My Kilt Wee Heavy: I hate heavy dark beer, so the fact that I didn't hate this nearly as much as say Guinness must mean that it was actually pretty good. It sucked.
Dragonmead Tripple:This is what I would imagine yak piss would taste like after a few days in the sun.

In the end, the whole experience put me off of making beer.

On the bright side, now you aren't all so disappointing to me. If you had sold me on beer making and my beer had turned out as disgusting as all these microbrews, I would have been out a lot of money as well as sick.

Thanks for looking out for me and not encouraging me to make beer!