You know you are a new parent homebrewer when.....

- You look at baby bottle nipples as emergency, CO2 venting, carboy caps.

- You pick up a disposable bottle liner and realize;
a.) That'd make an excellent pellet hop leftovers storage bag.
b.) Your FoodSaver can seal them.(RMV)

- You realize the nipple brushes are great for getting that black crud out of those old faucets and for cleaning the gas tube in cornies.

- Cleaned Gerber Seconds bins make great "little bits" storage containers (Irish Moss, Campden Tabs, etc...)

- You wonder if breast milk can be a substitute for Lactose in a Milk Stout. And try it.

- Gerber Firsts flaked Rice, Oatmeal, etc cereal would actually work great in your next recipe. If the HBS is closed.

- You struggle to remember which bin has the Light DME and which bin has the Enfamil. Taste both and still can't decide.

Cheers and enjoy.

You don't brew anymore.

GilaMinumBeer said:

- You look at baby bottle nipples as emergency, CO2 venting, carboy caps.

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Oh my god, brilliant! I just may do that while I wait for my carboy bung and airlock to get here. (Not a parent but I may buy one just for that purpose)

Deacon240 said:

Oh my god, brilliant! I just may do that while I wait for my carboy bung and airlock to get here. (Not a parent but I may buy one just for that purpose)

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I only found one or two that actually fit, and I'll pre-warn you sometime it'll give new meaning to the word "Beer Farts". It can be hilarious.

GilaMinumBeer said:

I only found one or two that actually fit, and I'll pre-warn you sometime it'll give new meaning to the word "Beer Farts". It can be hilarious.

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That's awesome.

I've used balloons as a stop-gap/emergency fix sometime, but they are unreliable and dry out. Perfect alternative!

Kilgore_Trout said:

That's awesome.

I've used balloons as a stop-gap/emergency fix sometime, but they are unreliable and dry out. Perfect alternative!

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And silicone to boot, or whatever.

... You pressure cook old baby food jars with starter wort for stepping up from slants.

- You struggle between a shiney new brew rig or a college fund. Rationalize that the rig will be paid for before the child goes to college and realize that you won't be brewing until then either.

- You "borrow" several of those plastic syriges from the hospital supplies bin because you notice that they have perfect metric gradients for lactic acid water treatments.

- You sanitize baby bottle with StarSan but pressure cook sterilize starter wort.

Orangevango said:

You don't brew anymore.

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LOL...so true.


- When you wonder at what age your kid will be coordinated enough to help you bottle.

- People ask how tall the baby is and you respond "Half way to the faucet".

You guys are killing me!

My wife is due in May and I've been brewing my butt off to develop a decent stockpile.

So are my future brewing days really that limited due to the baby?

thats a good one

People ask how tall the baby is and you respond "Half way to the faucet".

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Fenster said:

You guys are killing me!

My wife is due in May and I've been brewing my butt off to develop a decent stockpile.

So are my future brewing days really that limited due to the baby?

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Depends largely on the baby and the mother. babies sleep a lot at first and usually only need fed every 2 to 3 hours. Plan your mash-in, your sparge and your boils right and everyone is fed and happy.

Just don't forget which towel you used to clean the baby and which towel you used to clean the mash paddle.

Plus, brewing at night in the garage during summertime can be very humbling.

GilaMinumBeer said:

-
- You wonder if breast milk can be a substitute for Lactose in a Milk Stout. And try it.
Cheers and enjoy.

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Remind me to never take beer from you

Just don't forget which towel you used to clean the baby and which towel you used to clean the mash paddle.

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Yikes! Words to live by..

You don't need to be a parent to see the value of a nipple brush. I had to replace mine and I got a combination brush. The big end is good for hydrometer tubes.

And, not the least, as a new parent, you'll be able to recognize that autolysed yeast smell.

... when your two-year-old tells his mom that her perfume smells like hops! (He didn't say which variety, but hey, he was two.)

Fenster said:

You guys are killing me!

My wife is due in May and I've been brewing my butt off to develop a decent stockpile.

So are my future brewing days really that limited due to the baby?

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Nah, the first one was easy. Ah, for the days when my wife and & I outnumbered our children...

Now we've got a 3-year-old and a 2-month-old and it's a killer because you never get time alone. I'm an introverted, antisocial bastard and I covet my alone time. That's probably part of why I love bottling. Mindlessly repetitive tasks, in solitude, with some music, after a hard day's work? Sign me up! Brewing, bottling, etc with a toddler around just adds to the stress rather than relieving it.

They just require constant attention (like, even more than watching for boilovers), so as long you have two adults to one kid on brewday, you'll be fine. Me, I need to get at least two people to ride herd or else it's more trouble than it's worth. At least until they're older, I guess.

boo boo said:

Remind me to never take beer from you

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What? You've NEVER drank the bewb juice?

GilaMinumBeer said:

- You struggle between a shiney new brew rig or a college fund. Rationalize that the rig will be paid for before the child goes to college and realize that you won't be brewing until then either.

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Brew rig, if a kid pays for college themselves then they will try harder.

Fenster said:

You guys are killing me!

My wife is due in May and I've been brewing my butt off to develop a decent stockpile.

So are my future brewing days really that limited due to the baby?

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When they're really young, not so much. Babies are kind of like turtles. Set 'em down on their backs, and they don't move around much. Once they get mobile, it's a lot tougher. Then you have to chase the little bastids down to get the mash paddle back from them.

We had our daughter while I was in a brewing hiatus. I have more time to brew now that she's six and likes to help crush grain at the HBS. Don't worry. Birth to six felt like it only took about two weeks. You'll see.

And congratulations on the forthcoming addition. All joking aside, being a dad is the coolest, scariest, funniest, best thing I ever did.

Thanks for the responses - I'm a little less worrried now...and I do love a milk stout
I'll have to see what SWMBO thinks of the organic route...

GilaMinumBeer said:

What? You've NEVER drank the bewb juice?

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I have, its awesome. Just something about it that is...man, it is heaven.

Keep those bins the wipies come in. They're great for organizing stoppers, airlocks, keg lube and keg parts...darn near anything that'll fit in 'em (which is a lot in homebrew terms).

Bach7210 said:

I have, its awesome. Just something about it that is...man, it is heaven.

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I know that I survived infancy on it.

I think the immortal Frank Zappa summed it up in his song T!tt!es and Beer

OK, since he's dead I guess we can't call him immortal...

jds said:

And congratulations on the forthcoming addition. All joking aside, being a dad is the coolest, scariest, funniest, best thing I ever did.

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And, as cool as that is (and I agree with you, it's all those things!) wait until you're a grand-dad. Got 5 of the grands now and really loving it!

GilaMinumBeer said:

- You wonder if breast milk can be a substitute for Lactose in a Milk Stout. And try it.

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This is one of those social experiments where you slip something crazy into a seemingly innocuous list of things, right?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha if you're serious about that I'm going to be laughing for at least six minutes straight!

This thread is awesome! I'm glad I'm not the only one who starting thinking about the things that could be used for both.

Fenster said:

Thanks for the responses - I'm a little less worrried now...and I do love a milk stout
I'll have to see what SWMBO thinks of the organic route...

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I have been trying to get SWMBO involved in brewing, this might be the chance I have been waiting for. I'll call it Mother's Milk Stout.

GilaMinumBeer said:

- Gerber Firsts flaked Rice, Oatmeal, etc cereal would actually work great in your next recipe. If the HBS is closed.

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What? You didn't mention the Barley cereal??? I've been eying my daughter's box of barley cereal ever since she's started on solids.

I have been trying to get SWMBO involved in brewing, this might be the chance I have been waiting for. I'll call it Mother's Milk Stout.

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Keegan Ales already makes a brew buy that name. It's one of my favorites. Makes me wonder what they put in it now.

Keegan Ales | Our Beer

How about...

- You've convinced yourself that with a little more planning, you can go from grain to pitched wort before the baby wakes up from their nap, no matter how many times you fail.

- You have to constantly check...that the baby isn't eating old mail...while you're trying...to post a response on HBT.

One year olds rock! I love my baby girl.

graphicgeek80 said:

Keegan Ales already makes a brew buy that name. It's one of my favorites. Makes me wonder what they put in it now.

Keegan Ales | Our Beer

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Thats a great name- I have a buddy from up there, I will have to see if he will ship me one.

Then fast forward 2 years...

Yesterday my two year old (Soon to be 3) looked in our cooler and said last night at a friends house, "Daddy, you need some bers"...

This is either a sign of a serious problem, or a very proud moment. I'm not sure which.