Worst Commercial Beer You've Ever Had?

In the midwest we have gas stations named Kum n Go and they have a private label malt liquor named Hiland Reserve. It is the nastiest "beer" I have tasted in my entire life.

Magic Hat #9 = Putrid

Frank99 said:

Simpler Times six pack sold at Trader Joes for $2.99.
Definitely got what I paid for !

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I've seen this at Trader Joe's. The packaging and price point seemed enough to deter me, but I'm sure I would have tried it eventually. Thanks for the heads up. :cross:

I saw it posted earlier - Earthquake 12.0% ABV High Gravity Lager. $.99 at Sheetz in Southwest VA. Nasty stuff, but you can't beat ~6 beers worth of a quick buzz for less than a buck

What : Steel reserve 9.x% ABV

Why : hmm I'm sure its gross but I wonder .. its only $1.50 wtf

Result : must be the nastiest beer on the planet.

14 year old bottle of....

"Old Frothenslosh"

I was 12, and I just couldnt resist after I found it in my grandparents basement.

Unibroue's Quelque Chose. It tastes like regurgitated cherry cough syrup. It was so bad I actually felt GOOD pouring 21ozs into my sink.

Edit: Story behind it? Not much of one. My brother had a few 22s of various Unibroues in his house and pawned a few off on me. Took 2 sips of this and said bon voyage to this travesty of a beer.

i just visited my parents in Philly. While there were a variety of excellent Victory ales in the fridge, they quickly disappeared with multiple drinkers. By the end of the night we were into Coors Light special marked for the Superbowl. I should have known....there was a layer of dusty fuzz on the tops as it came out of the fridge. ok, i'll rinse and wipe the top. nothing could prepare me for the hideous flavor to pour from the can. after some half drunk interpretation of super bowl roman numerals we deciphered that this batch was from 1999. it was 2010 when we drank it. just plain wrong. i think i just threw up in my mouth recalling this story.

knotquiteawake said:

Ha! I bet that chick from the Beer Wars movie and her "Moon Shot" beer are pretty much done for now. So much for her great idea.

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Yup.
http://www.moonshotbeer.com/Moonshotbeer.com/All_Systems_Go.html

I grew up on Schaefer's. My dad always bought it in 40s. I think he liked it because it was the same as our last name (and "it's spelled right"). About 5 years ago I saw some in a store and bought a 12er on a nostalgic whim. Holy crap that was awful! My dad still whines that he can't find it anymore in his small town....and this is the man that introduced me to craft beer at the age of 16ish. Weird.

One time, as kids, we were wandering through the woods and stumbled on the "mother lode"... it was hardcore porn (no Internet in the eighties) and four cans of High Life. The cans were so old the paint on the can had started to fade, but the porn had been protected by a plastic bag so it was still good. The beer, sad to say, was completely consumed. I remember it tasting something like water on top, and mud towards the bottom of the can. That was all we could get, though, so we "enjoyed" it.

I like Heineken, but only in the 12-pack bottles. I don't generally enjoy beer from a can, and the six packs are always skunked. The 12-packs are light-protected b/c they are fully enclosed by cardboard. When we go golfing I buy the Heine's mini-keg-cans, though, b/c that's what they sell at the course.

Best Heineken I ever had: in Schip-something airport, Amsterdam, rushing to catch our flight to Turkey. Good times, good times.

The worst liquor I ever drank was made from fermented eggs. I bought two bottles as souvenirs on that same trip for my brothers. They were literally *afraid* to open the bottles. :cross:

A few years (and pounds) ago, I was part of my university's ski team and pretty much every weekend, we would get druck as crap before the race at seedy bars. Every team acted this way, so it was like steroids, in reverse. We would check in at the hotel, wax our skis and pick up either a few 1.18L bottles of Wildcat 10% or Colt .45, drink that, and hit the dancefloor. Nothing better than getting up at 6:00 AM in the morning, hungover and bloated, to wear spandex in 0F weather.

Coors Light. Went to a friends wedding. He had some red brick, but they put them in this gigantic cooler first. They then put budlight and Coors Light on top of those. I dove in and spent like 5 minutes pulling beer after beer out of it... I could never find the red bricks, so I gave up and just grabbed a Coors. It was hot out and I just wanted a cold beer, so I was like "what the heck, I'll give it a try". Needless to say, I went home not longer after and opened a homebrew to wash the fizzy yellow taste out of my mouth.

The worst beer I ever had was a Dogfish Head. Yes, it was horrible. It was one of their beers that had an extreme ABV and was like 10 or 15 bucks for a 12oz. I got it because I heard how strong it was. It was like drinking hard liquor.

I went to a brewpub Sat. night and ordered a New Castle, not that it's the worst beer in the world, but they were giving away beer glasses with the New Castle and I didn't have that style of glass. I asked SWMBO to order one, too... so we could have the matched pair.

After that I ordered a Dogfish Head strong Belgian ale, something with "Monk" in the name. I thought it was awesome, but I could only drink it in sips because the aroma was such a critical part of the flavor.

KMKsuburbannoise said:

The worst beer I ever had was a Dogfish Head. Yes, it was horrible. It was one of their beers that had an extreme ABV and was like 10 or 15 bucks for a 12oz. I got it because I heard how strong it was. It was like drinking hard liquor.

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You bought a beer because you heard how strong it was and are complaining that it was too strong? haha

bknifefight said:

You bought a beer because you heard how strong it was and are complaining that it was too strong? haha

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i was expecting it to be tollerable. I have had strong beers and was just fine with them. This one was like rubbing alcohol with hops.

I was writing for an online dance music "magazine" down in Mexicali, MX one night for a decently top-notch DJ of the time (about 2004 I think). A buddy decided to go with me to see what the fuss was about, and we both arrived at the venue around midnight, in the middle of a farmer's front lot (about 1 acre by 3/4 acre), prior to said DJ starting his set.

The promoter stumbles up to us both and shoves cups of god-knows-what-$hitty Mexican p!ss beer in our hands, yelling expletives in Spanish for all to hear. We both shrug it off, pound the noxious brew, and my friend has a nearly-immediate gut wrenching vomitous reaction to it. 10 minutes go by, and we're decently schnockered, so we head up to the bar setup and in the most horrible Spanglish I could muster, order 2 more.

The next 4 or 5 hours are about as mysterious as the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa and his beloved briefcase. All I know is it's almost 7 AM, the venue ends, people are leaving, and we're 2 white boys in the middle of Hillbillyland, Mexico with no car. We end up walking the nearly 9 miles north to the border, somehow pass off as respectable American citizens at the Border Patrol station, and crash out at a McDonald's nearby. We were thrown out about an hour or 2 later by the McD manager.

I should note that it was only thanks to an extremely courteous stagehand that I didn't start trekking off without my work laptop which was still sitting on stage.

I want to find out what that brew was.

Oly Gold Light. Like Olympia wasn't bad enough. I worked as a plumbers helper for a cantankerous old fart who started drinking it first thing in the morning and drank it all day...until he could get home and start mixing drinks. Over 5 years I think I tried it 3-4 times when we were out on a BFE job site and I ran out of EVERYTHING else to drink. I never got all the way through a can. I did turn him on to Guinness...that was pretty funny to watch...he could drink a case of OGL but 2 Guinness Big Boppers and he was pissed

KMKsuburbannoise said:

i was expecting it to be tollerable. I have had strong beers and was just fine with them. This one was like rubbing alcohol with hops.

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I know this is totally off topic and pointless but you didn't say something like "I bought it because the description on the bottle sounded good" or "I bought it because I enjoy the style." You said you bought it because you heard how high the ABV was. That's a bad criteria to buy a beer and then complain about it. In college we bought a case of CAMO 16 oz cans. They tasted like ****, but we bought them because they were 9% ABV. We understood the mess we were getting into. Anyways, which DFH brew was it?

bknifefight said:

I know this is totally off topic and pointless but you didn't say something like "I bought it because the description on the bottle sounded good" or "I bought it because I enjoy the style." You said you bought it because you heard how high the ABV was. That's a bad criteria to buy a beer and then complain about it. In college we bought a case of CAMO 16 oz cans. They tasted like ****, but we bought them because they were 9% ABV. We understood the mess we were getting into. Anyways, which DFH brew was it?

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ot sure, it was featured in a couple of Magazines incuding Playboy as being the strongest beer on the market. I guess i tried it because of the vanity.

For me it had to be wolavers alta gracia coffee porter. Cold coffee, not beer. The only beer ive ever dumped was sam adams imperial white. Ill choke pretty much anything down, but that was horrible. For ciders, Crispin was really bad. The one with the black label. Strange but Crispin honey has become one of my faves

rjwhite41 said:

In the midwest we have gas stations named Kum n Go and they have a private label malt liquor named Hiland Reserve. It is the nastiest "beer" I have tasted in my entire life.

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Kum on you are messing with us??? I wish National Lampoon was still in production, they would have printed that for sure.

Kum n Go - thats what she said. I am LMAO reading that this is really a store name. Classic. We had a hardware store called Busy Beaver but that pales to Kum n Go.

Thank you, I will be playing here all night.

Two really bad ones

Crystal made somehwere in NJ/PA in the late 80's. NO quality control. Would get bottles not sealed properly that had mold in them. $4.99 a case in college - you make sacrifices.

Midnight Dragon out of Cincinnati - Played beer pong with it and the ball would not sink into the foam. Malt liquor to boot.

There were some on this list that I really like. Kind of shocked me. Raison D'Etre, Gonzo Imperial, and New Castle go down easier than a escort in Charlie Sheens hotel room.

As for the worst beer, thats a tough one. There are so many out there. 95% seasonal beers suck. Any Ice beer. Especially, Natty Ice. All Mexican beers except Carta Blanca and maybe an occasional Dos Equis or Modelo.

Crazy Charlies Chilie Beer. the one cenla mentioned with the chilie pepper in it. Gotta be the worst ever.

Tommy Knockers Maple whatever it is

deadscott said:

Tommy Knockers Maple whatever it is

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Oh man, forgot about that one. That was the worst.

Righlander said:

Magic Hat #9 = Putrid

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Agreed! They have some great beer, but their # 9 is not to my liking. Just horrible.

I can't remember the name now but, that Walgreens crap...

Harpoon UFO is total crap. I've tried it many times thinking I must be missing something, but I just can't bring myself to even finish a bottle.

I'll put in another vote for Steel Reserve. Most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. With that said, I cannot count how many I threw down back in college, although most of them did not stay down long.

Two come to mind:

Black Label...$4.00 a case in the '80's
At the Brew Pub in Leavenworth, WA 1995 tried their IPA...whew. Took six Guiness's to get the taste out of my mouth. Been gunshy of IPA's since.

two come to mind when thinking of this:

Genesee cream ale (well all their beer) and labatts blue, those two taste like fresh skunk a$$ through a putrid swamp

sadly any bar you go to around here is labatts as their main tap.

eljefe said:

We had a hardware store called Busy Beaver but that pales to Kum n Go.

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Portland has a strip club called Beaver's Inn. If any of you ever visit Portland and desire adult entertainment after hitting the breweries, avoid this pla....you know what go there...you'll never forget the experience.

As for horrible beer, Ducal out of Santa Cruz, Bolivia is horrible piss, but I'd still take that over a Michelob Ultra.

boddington's draught. gagged on first drink, and on consecutive drinks. dumped the rest on the ground. couldn't contaminate the sewer with it

Sam Double Bock from their imperial series.

Sam Adams Cherry Wheat

To me it tasted like cough syrup...bad cough syrup

jiggs_casey said:

I can't remember the name now but, that Walgreens crap...

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Heard for the price point it was better than the BMC crowd. I haven't seen it from here.

rustbucket said:

two come to mind when thinking of this:

Genesee cream ale (well all their beer) and labatts blue, those two taste like fresh skunk a$$ through a putrid swamp

sadly any bar you go to around here is labatts as their main tap.

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Odd, cuz I find both of those beers to be miles better than your standard BMC. Especially Blue.