Nunderwear

yes indeed i have made an apple cider so strong that it will give you a blackout experience within one liter of drinking it. jesus. so here i am sippin away at a mason jar (roughly 28oz FULL) of a cider that i made called nunderwear, and ive got about 9oz left and im feelin a good buzz going on. i'd estimate a solid 8-8.5% abv on this one.

its named nunderwear because i was imagining, just now, what nun underwear must look like. since this brew is a golden tan color with notes of dirt suppliments and jesus teeth, i must say, this is the closest color you can get to authentic nun runners.

anyways, it was a 3 gallon batch, i used 3 gallons of mrs. gooch's organic unfiltered apple juice, 5 pounds of sugar, and one can of organic concentrate apple juice along with a packet of yeast that i cannot, for the life of me remember what it is called, and voilah, some very strong, very potent cider that tastes and smells like nun grundle.

Holy Heck! You must have made rocket fuel with 5 pounds of sugar for 3 gallons of cider. Take 2 aspirins and a liter of water before you go to bed.

haha sure thing bub.

and yeah its very very strong and unrefined. it just looks like natural apple juice, i didnt put a clarifier in it, its still, but when you cool it off, it mellows out just a little bit. it almost has a malted nose to it though...probably just all the sugar (half brown half cane)

You are certifiably druck....and I salute you.

If ive done the math correctly 5 pounds of sugar (sucrose) I assume you used table sugar in 3 gallons of water will give you about 9% alcohol by volume and that doesnt account for the sugar from the apple stuff. Of course all that will depend on the yeast if you have a lot of residual sweetness it maybe a little lower.

Ummm using my calc program I'm geting more like 13-15% from this badboy depending on how dry it went. 5 pounds in 3 gallons is HUGE. Considering 2lbs dextrose in 5 gal. of juice gives you 8.5% Apfelwein, you are definitely higher then 8% haha

Thor the Mighty said:

haha sure thing bub.

and yeah its very very strong and unrefined. it just looks like natural apple juice, i didnt put a clarifier in it, its still, but when you cool it off, it mellows out just a little bit. it almost has a malted nose to it though...probably just all the sugar (half brown half cane)

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Is it just me, or is this the first person to refer to Nurmey as "Bub"?

She'll love that!

YooperBrew said:

Is it just me, or is this the first person to refer to Nurmey as "Bub"?

She'll love that!

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He is in fact the first person to call me bub but if you can be called dude, guy, man, and a couple others, I guess I can suck it up for bub.

the 8%abv I got was based on what Ive read about sucrose for distillation. its supposed to work out as 17grams of sucrose in 1 liter of water will make 1% alcohol. I guess the calculations depend on which type of gallon you use, US gallons (3.78 liters) are smaller than imperial gallons (4.54 liters). I think I may have screwed up and used imperial gallons I assume the recipe is US gallons so 3 gallons = 11.34 liters, and 5 Lbs = 2.26 kgs, so 2260grams sucrose divided by 11.34 liters divided by 17 = 11.72% abv. I think I did it right this time.

Thor the Mighty said:

some very strong, very potent cider that tastes and smells like nun grundle.

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I would have to guess that few people actually know what nun-grundle tastes like. Kudos to you, sir. I'm not sure that an anatomically authentic nun is capable of having a grundle, though. MONK-grundle, perhaps, could be a Belgian ale?

jdoyle83 said:

I would have to guess that few people actually know what nun-grundle tastes like. Kudos to you, sir. I'm not sure that an anatomically authentic nun is capable of having a grundle, though. MONK-grundle, perhaps, could be a Belgian ale?

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i slightly touched on the premise of demeaning monks in the latest batch of belgian beer im brewing right now called Taint Bernardus, as a parody on St. Bernardus haha.

Nurmey said:

He is in fact the first person to call me bub but if you can be called dude, guy, man, and a couple others, I guess I can suck it up for bub.

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two things inspired that comment. first, your avatar that says b1b....i took for bub, and secondly because lobo calls EVERYONE that and he's my role model.

k1v1116 said:

If ive done the math correctly 5 pounds of sugar (sucrose) I assume you used table sugar in 3 gallons of water will give you about 9% alcohol by volume and that doesnt account for the sugar from the apple stuff. Of course all that will depend on the yeast if you have a lot of residual sweetness it maybe a little lower.

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oh yeah? 9%? i wouldnt doubt it. 8 was being conservitive and yes, its very sweet. it needs to dry out a little more. any suggestions?

I believe I have just witnessed the first high alchohol volume, semi, kinda, maybe, lots o sugar, hooch-thread that was not imediately bashed. Well done!!!! Well done!!!!

"tastes and smells like nun grundle" is now my favorite phrase.

Redweasel said:

I believe I have just witnessed the first high alchohol volume, semi, kinda, maybe, lots o sugar, hooch-thread that was not imediately bashed. Well done!!!! Well done!!!!

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they usually get bashed eh? whys that? nothing wrong with a high abv drank. thats why people make apple wine!!! im planning on aging the last 2 gallons of thi stuff for a few months and HOPEFULLY having it mellow out a little. i DID make it when i was drunk though, that might have something to do with all the sugar. haha.

question: i have some powdered tannin, if i were to have put some of that into the mix, would it make it more dry?! i want to dry this sumbitch out a little bit

Thor the Mighty said:

they usually get bashed eh? whys that? nothing wrong with a high abv drank. thats why people make apple wine!!!

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Well, it's usually because several reasons. For one the thread often starts out like

"eye pewt 3 lubs sugar inna barel unner mah bed with sum bakerz yest, isst gonna smail"

And usually, the percentage of sugar is often quite disproportionate to the other ingredients essentially creating a headache-in-a-bottle which tastes foul. :fro:

Adding excessive sugar is akin to cheating in many perceptions. Done properly (I love to brew Belgian styles which require sugar) and within reason the results can be quite pleasant. It is more acceptable to boost with sugar in Ciders and Wines as the yeast dry it out that much more. High percentages in Ales or Lagers are just not very good.


nun grundle...lol wth.

Thor the Mighty said:

they usually get bashed eh? whys that? nothing wrong with a high abv drank. thats why people make apple wine!!! im planning on aging the last 2 gallons of thi stuff for a few months and HOPEFULLY having it mellow out a little. i DID make it when i was drunk though, that might have something to do with all the sugar. haha.

question: i have some powdered tannin, if i were to have put some of that into the mix, would it make it more dry?! i want to dry this sumbitch out a little bit

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Tannin provides "bite" to wines. It would not cause any dryness or further fermentation. Is the fermentation finished? What kind of yeast did you use? If you used champagne yeast, it will end up finishing dry.

I actually made apfelwein without any additional sugar. I think it tastes great.

YooperBrew said:

Tannin provides "bite" to wines. It would not cause any dryness or further fermentation. Is the fermentation finished? What kind of yeast did you use? If you used champagne yeast, it will end up finishing dry.

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it was ale yeast but what kind i have no idea. i found it in my fridge and, in a drunken stupor, managed to rehydrate it, and pitch it haha. the fermentation is done im just aging it in two one-gallon glass apple jugs with airlocks. the other gallon i put into fischer bottles and am about half way though with them right now. hell yes.

a side question, what if i was to fill a 5gal fermenter up 3/4 the way with thawed apple concentrate, and the rest water?

Well, the apple concentrate (without preservatives) and water would make juice- I'd take the SG of it and add sugar to get to 1.065 or so. And then ferment it! If you look at my "apple wine" recipe, it's basically just apple juice with a little acid blend and a pinch of tannin and then sugar to about 1.095. It makes a very nice dry wine. We use it for a table wine, and it's cheap!

If the stuff you're bulk aging hasn't been stabilized with sorbate, you could try pitching a package of champagne yeast in one, and let it ferment out. It should end up pretty dry. Then you could see which one you like better.

Thor the Mighty said:

a side question, what if i was to fill a 5gal fermenter up 3/4 the way with thawed apple concentrate, and the rest water?

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If you seriously mean 3/4 of a 5 gal. carboy all concentrate then:

A) That would cost a crap load. 3.5 gallons of concentrate?
B) That would be so high in sugar and thick that it would ferment at all

My last batch of apfelwien I made with four gallons of apple cider and 8 cans of 16 oz concentrate at a dollar each. I the SG on the concentrate is 1.180, and on the apple cider it was 1.055. Added together it'll come to 1.080, or about 8% with only apple juice.

I don't see why people should get bashed for making cheap swill. To each their own.

If you want to add 5 pounds of sugar to your concoction, then do so! Let the more experienced swill brewers give them the advice they need on the best swill possible...and let the chips fall where they may!

Benny Blanco said:

I don't see why people should get bashed for making cheap swill. To each their own.

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Although I don't usually participate in any bashing, my thoughts on the matter are "why walk when you can run?"

zoebisch01 said:

Although I don't usually participate in any bashing, my thoughts on the matter are "why walk when you can run?"

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It is easier to run if you already know how to walk...

Prosted due to phrases like 'nun grundle' and Taint Bernardus.

5 lbs cane suger - $3
3 gallons juice - $6
1 packet random yeast - $1

cider that tastes and smells like nun grundle - Priceless

jezter6 said:

Prosted due to phrases like 'nun grundle' and Taint Bernardus.

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thanks friend! i make weird named brews all the time so uh yeah you'll be hearing more from me.

OH MY GOSH I am laughing hard right now. Nun Grundle? Taint Bernardus? Nunderwear? I have a feeling that God was using the cider to strike you with lightning. Holy cow that is funny!

well im not dead yet. guess the vikings must have been right because if the christians were right, id have been smited by now. i can just see odin cracking open an ice cold nunderwear after a hard day of valhallian whatnottery.

next in line is a cyser called "Johnny Crappleseed" inspired by a daring tale of a young man who traveled north america in the 1800's, throwing crap at passing covered waggons. my hero.

This thread is great. The cider forum definitely gets the comedic juice flowing a little heavier than the other forum topics.

Prost

If you make a snake bite with nunderware and taint bernardus, you would literally be covering your taint with nunderware. (shudder).

Thor the Mighty said:

well im not dead yet. guess the vikings must have been right because if the christians were right, id have been smited by now.

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I think God has a sense of humor too, and/or possibly has disdain for religious zealots. :fro:

Ok so the question begs to be asked:
What is Nunderwear? Nun's Underwear?

I have Googled it and only come up with this forum post and unreadable websites.

Be Gentle!

Preston

just how it sounds dude; 'the abundant fabric found under nun apparel, usually adorned with pictures of saints giving high fives to jesus, gilded with gold thread and unwashed for weeks.'

thought everyone knew that.

Thor the Mighty said:

just how it sounds dude; 'the abundant fabric found under nun apparel, usually adorned with pictures of saints giving high fives to jesus, gilded with gold thread and unwashed for weeks.'
thought everyone knew that.

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Good LORD man, that has got to be Blaspheme! Ok everyone step away from TTM he is about to be struck by lightning!

ROFLMAO

Thanks for the laugh!

Preston

Just prosted again! This thread has been good for more laughs than I can count!

Does nunderware look anything like this?

almost too much like that. although i dont think anyone combed their hair over my cider bahahaha.

Bobby_M said:

I actually made apfelwein without any additional sugar. I think it tastes great.

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I'm going to do that next time. My last version has too much booze. I'd like to be able to drink more than 12 oz without drooling.

I found an honest to god Nunderwear site!

Feel God All Under!
Of course you've wondered what nuns wear under those crazy habits. Well, now you know! Chastity panties for Catholic girls, novices and nuns aid the virgin in remembering her vows to God. White plasticine ink will not rub off in the back seat of cars. Special processing prevents panties from being read off the tops of patent leather shoes.

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Complete with the Laysister thong



[ame]http://www.cafepress.com/jesus21/147351[/ame]

Benny Blanco said:

I don't see why people should get bashed for making cheap swill. To each their own.

If you want to add 5 pounds of sugar to your concoction, then do so! Let the more experienced swill brewers give them the advice they need on the best swill possible...and let the chips fall where they may!

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IMHO, the hooch threads don't get shut down because the posters are trying to make cheap swill. The get shut down by the mods because;

1) The poster is clearly underage
2) The poster is being an a-hole

An example is when they post their recipe which includes 7 lbs of sugar and 1 can of apple juice and some fleischmann's yeast. Then, when we all say yuck and try to give suggestions on making something drinkable, the poster gets all bitchy. This leads to a debate which is NVA.

Thor seems to be of age, isn't getting all defensive when people give opinions, and is a pretty funny, agreeable dude.