Placental Beer

Ok.. here's the challenge... me and wife are talking... and she challenged me to make a plecental beer.. that's right.. that thing that come out with the baby and you cut it off etc... horrible I know...

I said.. you gotta drink it... she said.. so do you... I said... ok.. let's do it... then we discussed the risks and realized the hard part will be getting a plecenta...

So.. assuming I can find a placenta to put in my beer... I'm thinking an imperial placental stout... should be plenty of protien and nutrients... maybe some oatmeal as well..

I know this is crazy... but if she can come up with the placenta I'll have to make it...

theonetrueruss said:

Ok.. here's the challenge... me and wife are talking... and she challenged me to make a plecental beer.. that's right.. that thing that come out with the baby and you cut it off etc... horrible I know...

I said.. you gotta drink it... she said.. so do you... I said... ok.. let's do it... then we discussed the risks and realized the hard part will be getting a plecenta...

So.. assuming I can find a placenta to put in my beer... I'm thinking an imperial placental stout... should be plenty of protien and nutrients... maybe some oatmeal as well..

I know this is crazy... but if she can come up with the placenta I'll have to make it...

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I just threw up a little bit....

That is just bad. I have heard of Hannibal's placental extra meaty chili, but brew??? I don't think that there is enough fermentable sugars and too much protein.

Cannibalism...actual cannibalism...yuk.

Not a way in hell I would even think about doing this.

And I'm glad I'm not drinking a beer right now.

How 'bout a cow placenta? I don't think humans are only creaters with placentas.

I think a placental stout would be superb, esp. for new mothers. Beer helps with milk let down for nursing, so I've been told, and ingesting the placenta is good for mom in so many ways--hormonal adjustments, preventing postpartum depression, etc. Our doula (professional birth assistant) dehydrated my wife's placenta and turned it into capsules for my wife when she gave birth to our youngest girl a year ago.

First have a baby.
Then brew with the Placenta.
Although cook it first.

Other mammals definitely have placentas. They often times eat them so as not to lose valuable nutrients. The placenta is highly vascular because it is the site of respiratory gas exchange between the mother and the fetus, so the main constituent would be blood. Fetal blood, not maternal blood. And fetal blood is not exactly the same as maternal blood. It has necessary differences to allow for preferential O2 exchange from the mothers blood. I think I have heard of some cultures that have fermented blood, so this certainly seems possible.

Oh, one other thing, you're a sick, sick bastard. I've had girlfriends suggest things to me all the time. The trick is to zone them out and worry about the consequences later.

a stout is too dark,
and won't showcase the flavor.
try "afterbirth brown."

Toast the placenta at 350 for 30 minutes will give it a slightly nutty, caramel flavor that will go well with a brown ale. Stir halfway to ensure even toasting of said placenta.

I prefer to first wort placenta.

Any legality issues aside, if there were any pathogens in it, wouldn't a 60-90 minute boil take care of that?

I'm certainly not a medical professional, or even an amateur biologist, so wtf do I know?

Good luck with your brew, russ...

Wait...is that...yes, it is definitely vomit that I'm holding back right now...

jimmystewart said:

Any legality issues aside, if there were any pathogens in it, wouldn't a 60-90 minute boil take care of that?

I'm certainly not a medical professional, or even an amateur biologist, so wtf do I know?

Good luck with your brew, russ...

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That's why I first wort placenta and not dry placenta...

AZ_IPA said:

That's why I first wort placenta and not dry placenta...

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i believe sam calgiones evil twin came up with the placenta bursting technique. i'm told it adds a roundness that you can't get with early additions alone.

evil twin was Jamil's idea. Sam Calgiones came up with randalling placenta to give you that lip smacking, super fresh pacenta flavor.

dude...WHY? what would the benefit be of making this beer, yuck, its not going to taste good, its weird, its gross, its ...well...thats just my opinion...but damn...hurl, ...go for it and post a pic of your woman drinking a pint for good chuckles!

iparks81 said:

dude...WHY? what would the benefit be of making this beer, yuck, its not going to taste good, its weird, its gross, its ...well...thats just my opinion...but damn...hurl, ...go for it and post a pic of your woman drinking a pint for good chuckles!

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i'm sure he was just kidding. nobody would brew with placenta. that's why they came up with afterbirth extracts to bottle with.

Damn auto-correct....i think he meant polenta...

Try making a 90 minute PPA*. Dice up the placenta and have constant additions throughout the 90 minute boil.

*Placental Pale Ale

Why not throw some finger nails and belly button lint in there too?

this is real...I don't know what to say

Not such a bad idea if you were to have a kid yourself and use the placenta from that.

The idea of using a placenta from someone else is kinda off to say the least.

The benefits are to the mother and possibly the father if he wants to help the woman along by eating it along with her.
All animals eat the placenta in nature to get the nutrients back and also to stop the smell attracting predators so it's nothing unusual in nature, but you don't get other cows or other dogs coming up and eating the placenta, just the mother.

We considered asking for our placenta when my kid was born but in the end we just let it go it was a nice idea but we didn't follow it through.

Maybe your woman is suggesting it's time you had kids in a very round about way

just throw the little bugger in a randal or hopback

maxam said:

Why not throw some finger nails and belly button lint in there too?

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Now you're just being silly and disgusting. This is a serious thread, please take your mockery elsewhere.

But.... why? Seriously, why? What would you be getting out of this.

I've done some pretty effed up things in my lifetime, but I can't say that I never got anything from doing any of them. If there is nothing to be gained from doing this, then I honestly don't see the point in doing it.

And if you'll excuse me now, I have to finish vomiting in my trashcan at work. Thank you.

Ace_Club said:

Now you're just being silly and disgusting. This is a serious thread, please take your mockery elsewhere.

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Just saying this is a completely weird thread. I could understand if you had some strange tradition where you consumed the placenta after your child was born, but it seems this guy is just trying to procure a rando placenta for fun and games. Kind of like cannibalism if you ask me.

heferly said:

Damn auto-correct....i think he meant polenta...

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Dear Autocorrect: Duck you, you pizza shift.

maxam said:

Just saying this is a completely weird thread. I could understand if you had some strange tradition where you consumed the placenta after your child was born, but it seems this guy is just trying to procure a rando placenta for fun and games. Kind of like cannibalism if you ask me.

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Yep, cannibalism; not to mention just plain nastiness. What's next on Dr. Frankenstein's "to brew" list? Aborted fetus pale ale, Cadaver Brown, Gallstone Stout? BLECH!
:cross:

hadabar said:

this is real...I don't know what to say

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Look, eating or cooking with a placenta is just disturbing. The reason many animals do it is because the placenta has an odor that attracts prey to the newborn. The mother eats the placenta to get rid of the smell and to protect her newborn. Any nutrient replenishment is just a bonus, not the cause of this practice.

The fact that some humans eat placenta doesn't make it right or even healthy. Dried placenta loses most of its nutrients anyway, so I don't see the point. In this day and age all a woman has to do to replenish nutrients after birth is to eat a good diet and take a good natural prenatal vitamin. There is no magical nutrient in a placenta that you can't get from food or a vitamin.

Just give up the idea and consider it a sick joke.

Just ferment the placenta itself (as a food) and enjoy it along with some testicle porter.

I think a more reasonable approach would be a mother's milk stout.

jimmystewart said:

Any legality issues aside, if there were any pathogens in it, wouldn't a 60-90 minute boil take care of that?
..

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Nope. Not for certain pathogens. And human-to-human transmission is just so much EASIER than other routes. There are reasons beyond just ethics that steer us as a species away from cannibalism.

Now, if you want to procure a sheep or cow placenta, you would probably be okay. Hell, protein is protein. That's what I always say.

If your plans include this phrase:

theonetrueruss said:

realized the hard part will be getting a plecenta...

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Stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Sleep it off and try again tomorrow.

gratus fermentatio said:

Yep, cannibalism; not to mention just plain nastiness. What's next on Dr. Frankenstein's "to brew" list? Aborted fetus pale ale, Cadaver Brown, Gallstone Stout? BLECH!
:cross:

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teratoma tripel.

so.. since we have twins we're thinking we should use both placentas? Do you think 2 will be overpowering or create any off flavors?

you'll want to brew them seperately, then blend to taste at bottling time.

maxam said:

Just saying this is a completely weird thread. I could understand if you had some strange tradition where you consumed the placenta after your child was born, but it seems this guy is just trying to procure a rando placenta for fun and games. Kind of like cannibalism if you ask me.

Click to expand...

gratus fermentatio said:

Yep, cannibalism; not to mention just plain nastiness. What's next on Dr. Frankenstein's "to brew" list? Aborted fetus pale ale, Cadaver Brown, Gallstone Stout? BLECH!
:cross:

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You can't tell me that the thought of what human flesh would taste like hasn't crossed your mind. I've wondered, and if the chance came up would take a taste.

Additionally, this is the biggest bonus, in my mind, of the current obesity epidemic. If my plane ever goes down in the Andes, not only do they provide me extra cushioning during the crash, but I could feast like a king.

theonetrueruss said:

so.. since we have twins we're thinking we should use both placentas? Do you think 2 will be overpowering or create any off flavors?

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I didn't get any results when I searched my local Craigslist for 'placenta'. So it's good you have your own. You should do an experiment and make two separate batches. First wort placenta one and dry placenta the other and post back with your results.

Very soon after acquiring your placenta, can it under pressure. I think the combination of heat and pressure will kill anything. Then you will have a small supply of placenta handy for the spur of the moment brewing.