Keezer Disaster

It got real cold around here this week. It was in the 20's yesterday and dropped into the single digits last night. I was at work and it dawned on me that I had 3 carboys of wine cold stabilizing on the porch, and 5 galons of pils in primary fermentaion out there also. It had been in the low 40's last week and I wasn't paying attention to the tempurature drop. So I'm sweating it out overnight, thinking that the wine should be ok, it's got enough ETOH to keep it from freezing solid and bursting the carboys. The pils... I'm not too sure about the pils, this could be a disaster waitng for me when I get home. So I get off this morning and drive home figuring I'm going to be facing a mess. It dropped to 8 * F last night. Well, I lucked out. There was a bit of slush in the pils, and the wine was fine. I pulled it all into the kitchen, went about my chores and went to bed around 10:30.

Woke up this evening around 5, showered and went downstairs and the house smelled like a brewery. WTF? I opend the door to the porch and there, under the faucets of my keezer is a large puddle/pile of frozen Hog Goblin. I had looked in the keezer when I webnt to bed and had figured that the insulated walls would act as well to keep cold out as to keep cold in. The internal temp of the keezer was 38*F so I figured I was good. But I didn't take into account the faucets passing thru the collar. One of them froze and burst! Crap, crap, crap!!!! About 2 1/2 gallons of Hob Goblin in a frozen mess on the floor.

I had to leave and SWMBO wasn't home yet.

"Uh Honey, I'll clean it up in the morning."

"You'll clean what up in the morning?"

So I explained about the 87 8 X 10 color glossies, with pictures and arrows on the back, explaining what each one was...

And she said, "Kill. Kill! Kill!!!! KILLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!"

I really hope it's busy here tonight so I don't get out on time, and she has to leave for work before I get home. Not that I don't want to see her, exactly...

PTN

Wow. We got some unusually cold air here last winter and it too was down below 10°. Above 10 and everything was alright, but as soon as it went under that, pipes started popping. I heard what sounded like water running in the wall beside my computer desk. When I moved closer to listen, I noticed that the carpet along the molding was starting to get wet.

I guess you just need to cook up some higher abv "antifreeze" for the winters.

So I explained about the 87 8 X 10 color glossies, with pictures and arrows on the back, explaining what each one was...

And she said, "Kill. Kill! Kill!!!! KILLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!"

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OK you lost me at this part.

EvilTOJ said:

OK you lost me at this part.

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Arlo Guthrie. Alice's Resturaunt. I misspoke, it's 27 8 X 10 color glossy photographs. My bad.

Can't embed the video, its blocked

Hey i'm all for that...

'You can get anything you want, at Alice's resturant - except for Alice!'

Edit: Thanks Paul... you're going to make me late for work listening to that song!

Sounds like you need the Lowes 5 dollar Keezer Anti-Freezer.

I CAN get Alice. SWMBO's named Alice. (OK, maybe not until I clean up the beercicle on the porch, and it's still 11 degrees out there right now. Plus she's at work, so maybe I can't get anything I want. But still, Arlo's wrong. Except about the draft.)

Melana, you know you didn't have to listen to the whole thing. C'mon girl! You know the words. You hummed it to yourself walking out to the car. When you ran the yellow light you were worried that Officer Obie was gonna pull you over. You are having visions of Arlo in his underwear jumping up and down with the Army shrink, screaming "Kill!" Hell, I spontaneously came up with 27 8 X 10 color glossy photographs. You live in Massachusetts, girl, you can't turn on the radio around Thanksgiving without hearing the song. Alice and I might have planted the seed, but it was already ripe for growing.

EdWort said:

Sounds like you need the Lowes 5 dollar Keezer Anti-Freezer.

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Wouldn't have helped, froze outside the box.

Hmm, PTN, that reminds me of the blocked up Porter (or Stout?) tap with some frozen mush in the line, on the brew day a few weeks ago... A hint from mother nature, maybe...?

paulthenurse said:

Melana, you know you didn't have to listen to the whole thing. C'mon girl! You know the words. You hummed it to yourself walking out to the car. When you ran the yellow light you were worried that Officer Obie was gonna pull you over. You are having visions of Arlo in his underwear jumping up and down with the Army shrink, screaming "Kill!" Hell, I spontaneously came up with 27 8 X 10 color glossy photographs. You live in Massachusetts, girl, you can't turn on the radio around Thanksgiving without hearing the song. Alice and I might have planted the seed, but it was already ripe for growing.

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Paul - My wonderful husband HATES that song so there was no way, NO WAY i was listening to it on our way to Thanksgiving dinner...
and nope, i didn't listen to the whole thing... I just HAD to listen to enough to get it firmly stuck in my head for the day.
And I was *just* ontime today... boy that was one COLD ride this morning!

beergears said:

Hmm, PTN, that reminds me of the blocked up Porter (or Stout?) tap with some frozen mush in the line, on the brew day a few weeks ago... A hint from mother nature, maybe...?

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You're right, JL. But I ended up buying one of the thermostats to regulate the temps better than my kimchee rigged thermostat and haven't had any problems since then. Other than the Big Freeze.

PTN

Melana said:

Paul - My wonderful husband HATES that song so there was no way, NO WAY i was listening to it on our way to Thanksgiving dinner...
and nope, i didn't listen to the whole thing... I just HAD to listen to enough to get it firmly stuck in my head for the day.
And I was *just* ontime today... boy that was one COLD ride this morning!

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My girls and I have a 20 year tradition of listening to that song as we drive to Grandma's for Turkey Day. And I have it on my list of Random songs so I hear it pretty regularly. But then I'm sort of a masochist.

I've been singing it since I got to work an hour ago and I've already had a couple of my colleagues tell me that I was driving them crazy.

Paul

EvilTOJ said:

OK you lost me at this part.

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Not me! I'm still laughing...

Damn now I'm really happy that I'm still using 8 pickic taps. It's been damn cold here the last two weeks. The brew is still flowing. Really well tonight.

It's a church in some goddamn town, can't remember which. That movie made no sense. Quite frankly, I only lager beers during this time of the year, everything else is okay'd by the SWMBO or snuck by.

Dude, that sucks. My wife would've divorced me or sent my brewery packing at that point.

My wife just gave me the stare when i messed us the living room.

I had been bottling in the kitchen, and besides all the bottles i had 2 growlers that i had filled with primed beer. As i had nowhere to put them safely when it was time to clean i put them on top of a tall bookcase in the living room on my way out of the kitchen, so they were out of the way.
As it happens i forgot about them and they stayed up there for a couple of weeks.
One day we came home and the whole apartment smelled like beer. We looked everywhere but could not find out where it came from, last thing i checked was the two growlers, of which one of them left the bottom standing when i lifted it. It had emptied when we were away (2 litres) all over the bookcase, wall, dvds, books, one og my Kef speakers - F**** everywhere

She just gave me the stare and said - you are going cleaning. She actually helped so it only took 1 whole evening

Better stay good freinds with those around us that tolerate our hobby !

Cheers
Jakob