The stupidest comment on your beer

Yeah, nothing beats some good head.

I know I'm guilty of it myself but I always get bummed when I see that this thread has a new post and it's not a stupid comment.

Every time you make a post in here that isn't a stupid comment about beer, God causes a bottle bomb


So to make sure nobody hears a "BANG" later today, here's my contribution -- talking to a buddy about chica beer and explaining the process, he says, "What, you just spit into a glass of beer?" *Spits into Miller High Life* "There! Chica."

Boom!!

"Did you you have a **** and not turn on the extractor?"

Thanks mom

A coworker of mine said he wanted to get into homebrewing. Then asked me of he ha to do it in his bath tub. And also if it would explode. To which I replied "only if you don't use a blow off hose. Then you have a big mess and a bitchy swmbo."

Can you make a Coors Light?

justinakajuice said:

Can you make a Coors Light?

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My buddy: Can you make any kind of beer?
Me: Yeah i can make any style and i can get recipe kits for commercial beers on the internet
the buddy: If i paid you for it would you make me a beer?
Me: yeah man, definitely
Him: Ok, well i want something really good. like Coors light.

A friend of mine was offering some of my wheat beer to his swmbo. she refused saying she did not drink stuff she cant see through. Very much nose in the air. I replied its a hefeweizen it is supposed to be cloudy. She still refused saying she doesn't drink stuff she cant see through. I asked if she ever drank milk you cant see through that. She just glared at me. A friend told me she had a glass while I wasn't around. she didn't say much about the beer. I suspect that she could think of nothing bad to say about that particular batch of wheat beer and kept her mouth shut for fear of looking a fool... again.

edb23 said:

My buddy: Can you make any kind of beer?
Me: Yeah i can make any style and i can get recipe kits for commercial beers on the internet
the buddy: If i paid you for it would you make me a beer?
Me: yeah man, definitely
Him: Ok, well i want something really good. like Coors light.

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Did you take the cash, buy a couple cases and dump them into a bottling bucket?

I kid, I kid.

So, you like dark beer?

At a birthday party for a friend, and I mention that I brew my own been when someone asked about the "weird" ones I'm ordering (Long Trail Double Bag and Omegang Rare Vos). One of her friends (whom I've never met) makes an offhand comment along the lines of, "I don't drink that bathtub beer."

I took it as an insult and didn't know how to respond, so I basically ignored her for the rest of the evening.

Hegh said:

At a birthday party for a friend........makes an offhand comment along the lines of, "I don't drink that bathtub beer." ....didn't know how to respond...

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Easy:

"oh, so you prefer the toilet piss water instead?"

Tiber_Brew said:

Easy:

"oh, so you prefer the toilet piss water instead?"

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Nice! Fitting as well. I wonder what she was drinking.

While in Hawaii my wife and I stopped by the Kona Brewery, ate lunch, took their awesome tour, had a few pints and went out for the evening. Two days layer we're in the airport and drop into Kona Brewing's cafe in the Honolulu airport. I order their Wailua Wheat. I don't remember the waitress' name, but let's call her Dummy. So Dummy brings me a pint of red colored non-cloudy beer.
Me: "I think you brought me the Lavaman. I ordered the Wailau."
Dummy: "No, wheat beers are like that."
SWMBO ( after dummy leaves): "Wrong. Even I know that's not right."

I was proud of SWMBO and disappointed that someone working at brewey was so uninformed. Dummy got a 20% tip, and a nice note: WHEAT BEERS ARE CLOUDY.

Not all wheat beers are cloudy. Was their wheat a Hefe? If so, yeah, that would be an easy distinction.

Wailua isn't cloudy, drinking one right now. It's a wheat beer just like how SA Summer Ale is a wheat beer but is crystal clear.

You can even make a hefeweizen clear but it's called called kristallweizen. Conversely I have had plenty of non-wheat beers that where cloudy. I bet the waitress had a good lol when you left. Sorry!

Reno_eNVy_446 said:

Wailua isn't cloudy, drinking one right now. It's a wheat beer just like how SA Summer Ale is a wheat beer but is crystal clear.

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I just had one off a keg. It's hazy, not really cloudy, but it's certainly not red.

True

That sucks. I thought that all additions down to 20 minutes added some bitterness though.

Meh, any amount of boiling will isomerize alpha acids. It's just that when you get down to less time less are isomerized and so you have less bitter and more flavor (i.e. since the flavor compounds haven't been chemically altered or boiled off.)

unionrdr said:

When I posted my IPA recipe on a certain Aussie site,& got flamed for wasting 6oz of hops.
The particular flamer also said 20-30 minute hop additions are bittering.
He got mad when I tried to tell him 30 minutes on down is for flavoring & aroma.
He then gets snotty I tries to claim this graph says that & this & those & them.
That if I wanted to waste good hops & money,go ahead.
And some other downright rude BS. Gotta love the smarta$$ of the world who don't know how to talk to people.

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Just be happy he doesn't own a home brew store! There's a certain shop in San Francisco which the owner of has refused to sell a friend of mine the hops he wanted because it was "too many hops and the beer will taste bad. These over hopped IPAs are stupid." My buddy, who does like "punch you in the face" hopping, was actually buying hops for two batches.

you can still get bittering from your hops if you whirlpool. or if it takes a long time for you to get the temp of the wort down when you have flameout additions....Jamil noted the actual temp that isomerization stops, but its not boiling...it happens at lower temps as well..obviously not at fermentation temps though.

MBasile said:

Just be happy he doesn't own a home brew store! There's a certain shop in San Francisco which the owner of has refused to sell a friend of mine the hops he wanted because it was "too many hops and the beer will taste bad. These over hopped IPAs are stupid." My buddy, who does like "punch you in the face" hopping, was actually buying hops for two batches.

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What a *****er! "No please, don't brew to your liking and buy a ton of ingredients so I can make money."

Also, thanks for the info mcaple1. I'll have to research that.

Also also, new stupid comment when explaining that I use juniper branches to make sahti: "Gross! Do you know how many bugs live in those trees?" .....uuuuum, about as many on barley/wheat/hops?

unionrdr said:

I tried to explain the whole hop bittering/flavor/aroma thing. But he just insisted more that even 15-20 mins gave 50% utilization of the bittering ability of a given hop.

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LULZ, wut??!

You don't even get close to 50% from a 60 minute boil... not even 120 minute boil.

Show that assclown this graph from BYO vol. 17 (you may have to explain how to read graphs to him. He doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed.... or just a tool)

I had a lady ask where I got the beer that I was putting in my bottles when I was bottling a batch today

"What kind of beer is this?"
"It's a mild"
"Oh is that like an IPA"

My mild has one half ounce addition at sixty and one at 45.

Mild, that reminds me. The bartender at Pipers was telling me that they had a mild on cask and he said he didnt like milds they tasted like brown water and then he turned around and ordered a Belhaven (Scottish Mild).

Beezy said:

Mild, that reminds me. The bartender at Pipers was telling me that they had a mild on cask and he said he didnt like milds they tasted like brown water and then he turned around and ordered a Belhaven (Scottish Mild).

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Sux I can't edit via the app but I meant to say it was some random guy at the bar that said that.

Well, I had a Wailua at the Kona Brewery 2 days prior and that thing was hazy and yellow/gold. I know about kristallwezen, but assumed she did not. I was served out of a keg (thanks Dwarven_Stout). I think a few have missed my real point. Or maybe I just sound like a blathering idiot.

houndsbreath said:

Well, I had a Wailua at the Kona Brewery 2 days prior and that thing was hazy and yellow/gold. I know about kristallwezen, but assumed she did not. I was served out of a keg (thanks Dwarven_Stout). I think a few have missed my real point. Or maybe I just sound like a blathering idiot.

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She may very well have served you the wrong beer but it doesn't look like that point was made. The point was made that all wheat beers are cloudy and that is absolutely not true.

Beezy said:

She may very well have served you the wrong beer but it doesn't look like that point was made. The point was made that all wheat beers are cloudy and that is absolutely not true.

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Yup

Also, BOOYA! Wailua from the bottle. And no, there's nothing at the bottom to swirl in.

Maybe the kegs are unfiltered and unpasteurized and the bottles are filtered and pasteurized to allow for unrefridgerated shipping.

I'm sure that's the case

After reading through this thread I want to hear someone put some dark food coloring in BMC for one of their BMC friends who don't like "dark beers" and see what they think. That could be a fun experiment.

cwyeary said:

After reading through this thread I want to hear someone put some dark food coloring in BMC for one of their BMC friends who don't like "dark beers" and see what they think. That could be a fun experiment.

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I'm going to do that! Great idea. My Grandpa drinks MGD and said my Irish red was too strong. I have to try this!

cwyeary said:

After reading through this thread I want to hear someone put some dark food coloring in BMC for one of their BMC friends who don't like "dark beers" and see what they think. That could be a fun experiment.

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I remember reading a blog by a guy who was taking a beer judge course (not in the US, so it wasn't BJCP), and he said this was one of the tests. Well, it wasn't BMC, but they gave them a pilsner darkened with food coloring and asked them to analyze it. Many of the students guessed stout or porter and talked about its roastiness.

McGarnigle said:

I remember reading a blog by a guy who was taking a beer judge course (not in the US, so it wasn't BJCP), and he said this was one of the tests. Well, it wasn't BMC, but they gave them a pilsner darkened with food coloring and asked them to analyze it. Many of the students guessed stout or porter and talked about its roastiness.

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I'm sure that test would make an ass out of me, but without having taken it and with my ability to pick out flavors/smells in food and beer (others have taken quite a notice... I'm a freak ) I think I would see past the shenanigans. Both SWMBO and I will comment on a porter if we taste any roasted barley in it... but well, that's an easy one.