You know you're a home brewer when?

When it's starting to get dark & you're still on here smurfin' off...

Newsman said:

That's easy...add some apple juice concentrate, yeast and an airlock.

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Add some corn sugar and you have Ed Wort's Apfelwein. Very tasty.

NunoAraujo said:

When you work at a bioprocess engineering lab, and are appalled at all the would-be-great-for-brewing stuff in there, and constantly repeat to yourself, "MUST...NOT...TAKE HOME".

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I got to tour a wastewater treatment lab at U of Manitoba last winter. Basically, a bunch of engineers trying to figure out cleaner ways to break down sewer, capture methane, etc.

The lab smelled terrible, no one wanted to touch anything, etc.

But the equipment! The whole place was fermenters, pumps, cooling and warming cabinets, culture cabinets...you could malt, test water, the possibilities were endless

It was like visiting my dream brewery. Or maybe my nightmare brewery, what with all the s***.

No one else on the tour could understand why I couldn't stop smiling

I knew I was officially a homebrewer that night.

BorealBrewer said:

I got to tour a wastewater treatment lab at U of Manitoba last winter. Basically, a bunch of engineers trying to figure out cleaner ways to break down sewer, capture methane, etc.

The lab smelled terrible, no one wanted to touch anything, etc.

But the equipment! The whole place was fermenters, pumps, cooling and warming cabinets, culture cabinets...you could malt, test water, the possibilities were endless

It was like visiting my dream brewery. Or maybe my nightmare brewery, what with all the s***.

No one else on the tour could understand why I couldn't stop smiling

I knew I was officially a homebrewer that night.

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We've got two guys in the office that are the official water/wastewater operators for a dozen or so small towns around here (towns that can't afford to pay a guy full time to do the job, but have to have someone, so they contract us). More than once I've thought about sending some of my tapwater in to their lab to have a full report done on it. If I make the step up to all-grain, I'll definitely do it.

When you sit at work and look around in certain areas and wonder "can I ferment a saison here better than at home?"

roastquake said:

Or even "pitching"

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I like it!

If you've ever placed a space heater inside a chest freezer... yep, you might just be a homebrewer.

When your to drunk to post anything coherent, but still read and remember new things about homebrewing.

When you always keep several times the amount of beer you personally drink in a year on hand, yet can't wait to have even more in stock.

When you give away more beer than you drink, even though most people refuse the offer to give it to them.

When most people look at you funny when you offer them a beer.

When you see the housing complex maintenance staff loading a dozen old refrigerators onto a truck for the dump... and tear comes to your eye.

Schol-R-LEA said:

When you always keep several times the amount of beer you personally drink in a year on hand, yet can't wait to have even more in stock.

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...And you can deftly convince SWMBO that you need to brew yet another batch. You explain the pipeline, and he/she says "oh yeah, that makes sense."

When you obsessively check the lager fridge daily to see how your lager is lagering and then talking into the open fridge saying ,'coming on nicely'.

When your wife says we need to figure out what we're having for Thanksgiving. And of course, she's thinking side dishes, you're thinking beers. "Now what we have here is failure to communicate"



When it absolutely kills you to make someone else's recipe without changing it up just one bit.

When you're more concerned where the fermenters are going to stay than where the family is going to stay for the holidays.

Schol-R-LEA said:

When you always keep several times the amount of beer you personally drink in a year on hand, yet can't wait to have even more in stock.

When you give away more beer than you drink, even though most people refuse the offer to give it to them.

When most people look at you funny when you offer them a beer.

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Either your friends and family are too polite, or something is up with your beer.

I don't offer. They ask for it. If I brew up something, I have to keep it under wraps if I want to keep any for myself.

That's half the reason I started doing ten gallon batches.

insanim8er said:

Either your friends and family are too polite, or something is up with your beer.

I don't offer. They ask for it. If I brew up something, I have to keep it under wraps if I want to keep any for myself.

That's half the reason I started doing ten gallon batches.

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This is my problem too!

Have to keep it on the lowdown at work or they'll all be over.

pb

plumber_bob said:

This is my problem too!

Have to keep it on the lowdown at work or they'll all be over.

pb

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Tell me about it. I was talking about my beer during class, and a couple guys asked, "if I bring you a growler, will you hook me up." A growler?! Hell no... I have too many others wanting to take my precious.

I felt kinda like a ******, but I gave them both a bottle. Now they're hooked. I feel like a drug drug dealer. If only I could legally sell this stuff.

I wonder if I can charge for the bottle, but give the beer for free?

nope. No selling,trading or bartering with home brew.

unionrdr said:

nope. No selling,trading or bartering with home brew.

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I was kidding

Ah...sittin around gettin' smurfed & thinkin odd stuff. gotcha. Gunna get my smurf on in a while myself.

unionrdr said:

nope. No selling,trading or bartering with home brew.

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I thought trading was kosher?

insanim8er said:

Tell me about it. I was talking about my beer during class, and a couple guys asked, "if I bring you a growler, will you hook me up." A growler?! Hell no... I have too many others wanting to take my precious.

I felt kinda like a ******, but I gave them both a bottle. Now they're hooked. I feel like a drug drug dealer. If only I could legally sell this stuff.

I wonder if I can charge for the bottle, but give the beer for free?

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Write a 4 page phamflet (sp?) title it "Homebrewing for beginners", sell it for $5. Then hand em a 6 pack

Cheesy_Goodness said:

I thought trading was kosher?

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IMO
The problem is as soon as you trade home brew for a service or other product the argument in court becomes you were bartering. Home brew for home brew with no other items involved is trading.

unionrdr said:

nope. No selling,trading or bartering with home brew.

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Write a 4 page pamphlet "How to Homebrew" and sell it for $5. Hand em a 6 pack.

Sorry bout the double post, dumb)($ iphone (operatir) lol

insanim8er said:

Either your friends and family are too polite, or something is up with your beer. I don't offer. They ask for it. If I brew up something, I have to keep it under wraps if I want to keep any for myself. That's half the reason I started doing ten gallon batches.

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I live in the country. My family is all like "I don't like dem dare dark beers" when I try to get them to try my pale ale and they are drinking PBR.

When that funky beer you made suddenly tastes ok after 3 or 4 of them.

larrydcarter said:

I live in the country. My family is all like "I don't like dem dare dark beers" when I try to get them to try my pale ale and they are drinking PBR.

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Lol, this happened years ago with a co-worker. Showed him a pic of my latest Pale Ale and he said "Yeah, I like darks beers like that."

Maybe not a "you know you're a homebrewer" moment, but definitely one where I realized I had stepped out of the majority of beer drinkers experience.

Thinking of your next recipe whilst giving the wife one.

^^Just givin the dog a bone?

I have surveyed this thread many times but could never think of a a great reply......till now.
This morning
I had a dream about removing labels and washing bottles.

Maybe it was a nightmare.

beerkench said:

Thinking of your next recipe whilst giving the wife one.

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Wives do the same thing.

Difference between a hooker, girlfriend and wife:
Hooker: "Aren't you done yet?"
Girlfriend: "You're done already?"
Wife: "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

MaxStout said:

Wives do the same thing.

Difference between a hooker, girlfriend and wife:
Hooker: "Aren't you done yet?"
Girlfriend: "You're done already?"
Wife: "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

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Or home brewing wife: "I think I want to brew a creme ale next. Yup. Maybe add some orange flavor. And orange creme ale, sounds good."

When you own an RV water hose and filter, but don't own an RV.

When your week's beer purchase is influenced by the shape of the bottles and the ease of peeling the labels.

When you run into a fledgling homebrewer who after his first all extract batch (still in the fermenter) is thinking of opening a brewery and you have to hold your tongue about what an undertaking it will be and that he really should get several more batches below his belt before he even considers going that route.

DrunkleJon said:

When you run into a fledgling homebrewer who after his first all extract batch (still in the fermenter) is thinking of opening a brewery and you have to hold your tongue about what an undertaking it will be and that he really should get several more batches below his belt before he even considers going that route.

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convince him that opening an LHBS is a better idea.

NoVA needs more of them; it's a wide-open market

DrunkleJon said:

When you run into a fledgling homebrewer who after his first all extract batch (still in the fermenter) is thinking of opening a brewery and you have to hold your tongue about what an undertaking it will be and that he really should get several more batches below his belt before he even considers going that route.

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Come on, let the guy dream. Now, if he is out renting a apace, slow him down.

Like I said I held my tongue. I did invite him over for a brew day because it is always nice to have an extra pair of hands and I really enjoy teaching. I will introduce him round once I get him to join up to my best resource when it came to learning brewing.

DrunkleJon said:

When you run into a fledgling homebrewer who after his first all extract batch (still in the fermenter) is thinking of opening a brewery and you have to hold your tongue about what an undertaking it will be and that he really should get several more batches below his belt before he even considers going that route.

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I've run into a few of those while doing transactions off craigslist...

One was for sure bipolar... I've never met a person who talked like this guy. He would say something, you would try to add to it, he would interrupt you and change the topic to something totally different... every time. Man I couldn't imagine being friends with him. He was exhausting, but he feels he's going to get a brewery up and running and take over the world.... the IPA he left me would beg to differ.

Met another one who was working on starting a meadery. Nice kid, hope he does make it. But the bottle he gave me was FOUL. It was so bad, I have to think it got infected or something happened. It was super hot and hoochy, and it tasted like old gym socks soaking in cheap white wine. He did say they were getting some interesting flavors, I would agree... very interesting.

I know several professional brewers from several breweries

Pyramid (****ty company oh the horror stories I've heard about them)
Bridgeport
Widmeier
Base Camp (a newer one)
to name a few...

It can totally be done, and it can be hugely rewarding. But it's a whole other level going commercial. The expense is high. It takes a lot of capital and a lot of hard work. And you can't afford to have an infected batch, or you're out thousands of dollars.

It's fun to dream and think about it, but there are so many hidden nightmares that tend to get over looked when dreaming...