Who else is sick of hearing the laughter of children?

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Donasay

Donasay

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I was recently told it was just me, and that other people actually like kids for some reason. Is it just me?
 
I think you and Beta should get together and sit on a park bench someplace and just complain. About whatever, just complain.
 
What is this "old fart's day" on hbt? You and Beta...sheesh! :D

You two should sit on the porch and shake your canes at the kids playing outside.

2644_angry_old_man.jpg


J/k
 
All other things being equal, I can handle kids...it's the lazy jerkass parents who bring their kids everywhere (like bars, etc.), and then the kids lose their sh*t and start screaming and crying and throwing a fit, and the parents just turn a deaf ear and act like it's not even happening. Look, you *****ebags, you might think that, if you ignore them for long enough, they'll tire out and stop...but in the meantime, everyone around you suffers. So take your little bastards out to the car, do whatever you have to do (I would suggest a babysitter), and don't come back until the problem is solved.

I still plan on making my millions with a soundproof "pet caddy" on wheels, for children. Scream all you want, we can't heeear you!

And no, you can't steal my idea.
 
Some people without kids don't want them and couldn't imagine a life with them, and that's ok.

Me, I can't imagine a life without kids, and I don't want to.
 
Brew-Happy said:
Who wants to start a thread about the music these kids listen to today!?!?!

:D
Click to expand...

My kids love this stuff. It drives me nuts. I think it's just plain weird. To their credit, though, my kids do like Neil Young and ask for him often.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9PqjMSNfkU]Yo Gabba Gabba on Noggin[/ame]
 
Not a big fan of kids either. Not necessarily just their laughter, but kids in general annoy me. Can't really see myself having any.
 
Brew-Happy said:
Who wants to start a thread about the music these kids listen to today!?!?!

:D
Click to expand...

Hey hey hey!!! I resemble that remark! I must say my favorite bands are Pink Floyd and the Doors, but even my dad, who got me it to those bands, like the stuff I listen to. And I must say, it's been YEARS since I listened to anything on the radio. That is total crap, but there is a lot of great music out there, it just needs to be found

I recommend these songs

Thrice - Deadbolt:rockin:

Poison the Well - Pieces of you in me:rockin:

And this one is for all the "old farts"

The Dillinger Escape Plan - Destro's secret:rockin:


Listen to all of them all the way through before you judge!
 
You know what it is, school just got out up here in Boston, so the kids are extra crazy this week and pretty much all over the place with nothing to do. For those of you in the rest of the country I am sure school has been out for a while, so you are acclimatized to this by now.

I have to walk through a mall to get to my office, (i work in the prudential tower) and the place is swarming with kids that have nothing better to do on a nice summer day than hang out at the mall. I mean sheesh it is 72 and sunny out, I hope they can think of something better to do.
 
I don't like kids either and I'm only 22. And I'm not talking about just the small ones. Anyone less than say 14 or so, it just seems they all need a serious attitude adjustment.

If I had kids, I'd probably be accused of child abuse. But there's nothing like a good ass kicking to solve a problem.
 
z987k said:
I don't like kids either and I'm only 22. And I'm not talking about just the small ones. Anyone less than say 14 or so, it just seems they all need a serious attitude adjustment.

If I had kids, I'd probably be accused of child abuse. But there's nothing like a good ass kicking to solve a problem.
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm right there with you man!!! I'm 22 as well, and I truly believe in a good old fashion ass whooping.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=67940

This avenue has already need cover, pretty in depth.

But I must add, I do want kids one day, and that I am really looking forward to it. But that day is still a while away
 
Laughter of children???

Birds singing????

The smell of fresh cut grass on a spring day????

A nice Edmund Fitzgerald on a cold winter night????

BAH...HUMBUG...

scrooge.jpg
 
From Maddox:

Kids today need a good beating every now and then. If you don't beat your kids when they fall out of line, the next thing you know your son will go off and bang some dude in the ass just out of spite. You tell them to clean their room, they say "no," you smack them. It's simple; it works. Don't listen to these ******** on TV with their bull**** hippy psycho babble; if they had it their way, every child would be raised in a pastel colored room with Philip Glass pumped through the speakers 24 hours a day. Then again, it might not be all that bad because it will make your kids complacent, so it won't be as hard for them to swallow when they realize that they'll be spending the rest of their lives chained to a desk in a cubicle writing reports to make someone else rich.

The problem is that kids today think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they get a skewed perspective of reality where they start thinking that they have it rough and that they can get away with dying their hair and listening to Insane Clown Posse. That's where you need to come in and put the law down. To help you, the negligent parent, I've put together a guide to smacking your kids for your convenience (hint: you may want to even print this guide up and hang it on your fridge as a reminder to both you and your kids). Here are some useful techniques:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat
 
I Love my kids, all six of them. Granted it seems like more times than not they are fighting with eachother or totally ignoring what I tell them to do. Sometimes they drive me totally wacky. Even will all of the trouble they cause me, all I need to do is spend about a half an hour with someone else's kids to see that mine aren't as bad as I think. Plus I always hear good things from my children's teachers and the neighbors about how polite and respectful they are. Obviously they are way better than I give them credit for.

If you don't like kids, that's fine but keep in mind they are everywhere, and that there are still good ones out there if you actually pay attention.
 
I work with kids in one of my part-time jobs, and I know there are a few good ones. But I still doubt I'll ever want any.
 
McKBrew said:
If you don't like kids, that's fine but keep in mind they are everywhere, and that there are still good ones out there if you actually pay attention.
Click to expand...

Well said:mug:
I'd much rather hear childrens laughter than the rantings from a disenchanted adult - jmo
 
ohiobrewtus said:
Me, I can't imagine a life without kids, and I don't want to.
Click to expand...

+1.

Bobby_M said:
The interesting thing about people who don't like kids is that they lower their own population naturally.
Click to expand...

And that's probably a good thing. Nothing worse than a parent that doesn't want kids, too goddam many of those ******** running around.

z987k said:
I don't like kids either and I'm only 22. And I'm not talking about just the small ones. Anyone less than say 14 or so, it just seems they all need a serious attitude adjustment.

If I had kids, I'd probably be accused of child abuse. But there's nothing like a good ass kicking to solve a problem.
Click to expand...

Learned that in your vast 22 years, did ya? ;) :D

I'll agree that spankings definitely have their place, but nothing in raising children is black and white. Gotta pick your battles.

Here's a little tidbit for you non-parents who have all the answers:

Thinking of Having kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple whoalready are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Ways in which they might improve their child's breast-feeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the livingroom from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound)playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM,put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag,until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. Since you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. Howdoes that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child (a full-grown goat is an excellent choice).If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything that the goat eats or destroys.Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney,Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney Channel or Noggin for at least five years (I know,you're thinking "What's 'Noggin'"?). Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly.(Important: no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; this should occasionally crescendo to the decibel level of a supersonic jet). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now readyto take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy" tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
 
z987k said:
I don't like kids either and I'm only 22. And I'm not talking about just the small ones. Anyone less than say 14 or so, it just seems they all need a serious attitude adjustment.

If I had kids, I'd probably be accused of child abuse. But there's nothing like a good ass kicking to solve a problem.
Click to expand...

Notice the trend here? No matter what age you are, you'll think the generation (or I should say population) of those one decade younger is full of ****, out of control, a pain in the ass, and has really poor taste in fashion, music, and just about everything else. This opinion increases exponentially for every decade lower than that. The rule works in reverse for people decades older than you. Those 10 years older are know it all, crotchety, burned out old fogeys.

So, you're 22 and I'm 32. I probably feel the same way about you as you feel about the average 12 year old and conversely think of me in the same way I think of 40somethings.

Spawning is a totally innate drive and it takes a lot to keep it at bay. I don't think anyone is really prepared to be a good parent before it happens. I do think it changes people for the better about 95% of the time (not counting the accelerated greying). The other 5% were already crazy and having kids was the catalyst for a total meltdown like the folks who left their kids unattended for 2 weeks.
 
FireBrewer said:
+1.
Thinking of Having kids? Do this 11 step program first!
Click to expand...

You missed one:

Lesson 12
Go to the bank and withdraw your entire life savings in the form of $20 bills. Get into your car and drive down the highway. Throw a $20 bill out the window every tenth of a mile. Repeat this process until you are down to your last 3 $20 bills. Stop. Fill you tank with gas using the last of your money and return home.

You now have a grasp of post child cash flow.
 
FireBrewer said:
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the livingroom from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound)playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM,put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag,until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. Since you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Click to expand...

god, my daughter was like that for a few months, I'm glad she grew out of that...

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. Howdoes that look?
Click to expand...

funny, sad and true!

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Click to expand...

aside from the rake, everything else is spot on! :D

funny shyt right there... almost every word is true!

BierMuncher said:
You missed one:

Lesson 12
Go to the bank and withdraw your entire life savings in the form of $20 bills. Get into your car and drive down the highway. Throw a $20 bill out the window every tenth of a mile. Repeat this process until you are down to your last 3 $20 bills. Stop. Fill you tank with gas using the last of your money and return home.

You now have a grasp of post child cash flow.
Click to expand...

:D
 
Firebrewers' entire thread:

Not everyone has kids, you know. And you mentioned some perfectly rational reasons for avoiding having them unless you're 100% driven to!
 
BierMuncher said:
You missed one:

Lesson 12
Click to expand...

Damn truth too!

BraeHaus said:
god, my daughter was like that for a few months, I'm glad she grew out of that...
Click to expand...

Yeah, my first had colic and didn't sleep through the night until he was 9 months old. Second slept at 2 months. :D

BrewWench said:
Not everyone has kids, you know. And you mentioned some perfectly rational reasons for avoiding having them unless you're 100% driven to!
Click to expand...

I don't denigrate those that chose not to. Better to not want them and don't have them then have them and not want them. That's responsible, that's good, and that keeps the would-be parent and child from being unhappy. I do, however, denigrate the ones that don't have kids and think they have a reference point for pointing fingers and saying how children should be raised. It's like having someone who's never brewed a drop of wort in their life tell me how I should sanitize my chiller. :cross:
 
FireBrewer said:
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child (a full-grown goat is an excellent choice).If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything that the goat eats or destroys.Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Click to expand...

This one is great I might just have to find a goat to lend to my friends who are thinking of having a baby, this should cure them...
 
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