Beer Farts

CornyKegs 728
Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
mishi

mishi

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2009
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
Location
Raleigh,NC
My wife gets angry at my beer farts. I can't help it at all. I rip some ultimate nast but I think they are funny as hell. Anyways is it just me or does beer make the majority sing out? If so what beer is the worst?( not in tase or enjoyment, but in rank gas.) Thanks in advance
 
How long have you been drinking homebrew? If I recall correctly it took my gut about a year or year and a half before it acclimated to all the living yeast I was consuming. Now very rarely do I get the toots from homebrew, or bottle conditioned beers.
 
Revvy said:
How long have you been drinking homebrew? If I recall correctly it took my gut about a year or year and a half before it acclimated to all the living yeast I was consuming. Now very rarely do I get the toots from homebrew, or bottle conditioned beers.
Click to expand...

To tell you the truth my first home brew is in the second ferm and I never have tried one but I drink Sam Adams Boston Lager and I drank New Castle before. But all beer has a similar effect on me.
 
mishi said:
To tell you the truth my first home brew is in the second ferm and I never have tried one but I drink Sam Adams Boston Lager and I drank New Castle before. But all beer has a similar effect on me.
Click to expand...

hmmm... I don't think either of those are bottle conditioned, i.e, living beers. BUT once your gut gets aclimated to yeastfarts you may never have that problem again..
 
You need to tell her that farting is a "man" thing, and that she needs to get used to it. Most women will accept it as a normal bodily function providing that they have a father figure that they can relate to on this subject. However I have found something that may be of some help. Here are couple of links that can help:

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

http://www.askmen.com/sports/health/38_mens_health.html

If these don't help then buddy you are on your own. She atleast needs a lesson in proper body functions. BTW yeasty homebrew will make you a flatulence one. It's only normal when consuming living organisms.

Cheers and Prosts! RDWHAHB!
 
the_Roqk said:
You need to tell her that farting is a "man" thing, and that she needs to get used to it. Most women will accept it as a normal bodily function providing that they have a father figure that they can relate to on this subject. However I have found something that may be of some help. Here are couple of links that can help:

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

http://www.askmen.com/sports/health/38_mens_health.html

If these don't help then buddy you are on your own. She atleast needs a lesson in proper body functions. BTW yeasty homebrew will make you a flatulence one. It's only normal when consuming living organisms.

Cheers and Prosts! RDWHAHB!
Click to expand...

Awesome links! She doesn't get mad about the farts but at the foul hang time. I told her she should be grateful I don't give her a dutch oven.
 
mishi said:
Awesome links! She doesn't get mad about the farts but at the foul hang time. I told her she should be grateful I don't give her a dutch oven.
Click to expand...

That's funny! It reminds me of my previous marriage partner. She "LOVED" the dutch oven method, and she would laugh her ass off when she had the right combo for flatulence. She was SO beautiful, but..... Nasty. God, I loved that woman.
 
Remember when walking to your spot in on the couch in front of the wife is always the best time to let one rip..... but not always the smartest move either...

I find that the more often I fart means the less head I get... so I limit my farts to at work for punishment for my guys not doing the right thing.... :)
 
Aw man, if you haven't even started drinking bottle conditioned beer yet just wait until those yeast farts start kicking in. They are bad enough to make dogs leave the room. They do clear up once your system adjusts but from the sound of it your wife will be living in the next state by then.
 
Dalarast said:
Remember when walking to your spot in on the couch in front of the wife is always the best time to let one rip..... but not always the smartest move either...

I find that the more often I fart means the less head I get... so I limit my farts to at work for punishment for my guys not doing the right thing.... :)
Click to expand...

It's all,... in a give and take world! The more you give,... the more you get!



RIGHT!!
 
My worst time was when I first started brewing and I accidently made a beer that had quite a bit of unfermentables in it, then I added lactose. That was a nasty month it took me to drink that keg.
 
mordantly said:
the closest thing i get to bubble gut, is bubble but from eating waaay too much live yogurt in one sitting. im talking the 1/2 gallon type containers like fake butter spread comes in.
Click to expand...

Damn! That's a lot of yogurt. But isn't acidophilus supposed to help with digestion?
 
Ha wait until you start giving our your brews to your co-workers/employees then you have some smelly noisy situations at work..

Why would you add lactose to it??????
 
I had a friend in high school. His Dad drank all the time. His farts were unbelievably loud and funky. The best part was he would belt out : Whoooooaaaaa Nellllllyyyyy after each one. We would laugh and his wife would rip his ass. Good Times.
 
the_Roqk said:
You need to tell her that farting is a "man" thing, and that she needs to get used to it. Most women will accept it as a normal bodily function providing that they have a father figure that they can relate to on this subject. However I have found something that may be of some help. Here are couple of links that can help:

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

http://www.askmen.com/sports/health/38_mens_health.html

If these don't help then buddy you are on your own. She atleast needs a lesson in proper body functions. BTW yeasty homebrew will make you a flatulence one. It's only normal when consuming living organisms.

Cheers and Prosts! RDWHAHB!
Click to expand...

I can't believe the stuff you guys talk about on HBT, lol. I'm lactose intolerent so, I've had the dog get up out of bed, give me a dirty look, and leave. Has, no problem eating poo, so what does that tell ya:ban:

Seriously, try probiotics, they are healthy bacteria, will help digestive system. still fart, not as much, and just smells like baked bread.
 
Dalarast said:
Ha wait until you start giving our your brews to your co-workers/employees then you have some smelly noisy situations at work..

Why would you add lactose to it??????
Click to expand...

Lactose = Lactic sugar. Unfermentable sugar added to increase FG and used in things such as milk stouts.
 
mishi said:
My wife gets angry at my beer farts. I can't help it at all. I rip some ultimate nast but I think they are funny as hell. Anyways is it just me or does beer make the majority sing out? If so what beer is the worst?( not in tase or enjoyment, but in rank gas.) Thanks in advance
Click to expand...

Watch out for the revenge factor:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
mitch171 said:
My worst time was when I first started brewing and I accidently made a beer that had quite a bit of unfermentables in it, then I added lactose. That was a nasty month it took me to drink that keg.
Click to expand...

Dalarast said:
Why would you add lactose to it??????
Click to expand...

mitch171 said:
Lactose = Lactic sugar. Unfermentable sugar added to increase FG and used in things such as milk stouts.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Hence the question. Why would you add unfermentable sugar to a beer with too many unfermentable sugars.
 
Ah got ya, I did it because it was the first time I worked from a recipe I made, and first AG. And because it had a sour taste called green beer. I did it because I didn't know what I was doing, and I wanted it sweeter tasting. I didn't know it already had a large amount of unfermentables in it at the time. I know now, because I now know that higher mash temps = higher unfermentables. It was also a sweet milk stout.
 
Yep that'll do it. That kind of beer still announces itself with multiple trumpet blasts with me. And I still find it amusing at age 45; I am beginning to suspect that my sense of humor is low brow enough that I always will. Lucky for my wife we have a really long couch.
 
Why is it Yeast Farts smell good and make us happy and Beer Farts are so bad?

Just a thought:)
 
people, people, people....

It's not just yeast. If it was JUST yeast, how come chili makes us, well, you know...

it's those darn olligosaccharides -- you know, those LONG sugars that are left behind in unfiltered beer. Our stomach can't digest them, but the bugs in our intestines absolutely LOVE them!
 
the_Roqk said:
You need to tell her that farting is a "man" thing, and that she needs to get used to it. Most women will accept it as a normal bodily function providing that they have a father figure that they can relate to on this subject. However I have found something that may be of some help. Here are couple of links that can help:

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

http://www.askmen.com/sports/health/38_mens_health.html

If these don't help then buddy you are on your own. She atleast needs a lesson in proper body functions. BTW yeasty homebrew will make you a flatulence one. It's only normal when consuming living organisms.

Cheers and Prosts! RDWHAHB!
Click to expand...


I know this is an old thread (somewhat), but I just want to let you know whenever I want a laugh, I am going to read some of the excerpts from
http://www.heptune.com/farts.htm.
 

Similar threads

kev211
Beer Gas
Replies
1
Views
201
Dr_Jeff
D
ILMSTMF
Sanitation anxiety
Replies
5
Views
280
ILMSTMF
ILMSTMF
A
Bottles with stains on the walls
Replies
9
Views
428
acm28
A
Closet Fermenter
Dispensing Wine from a Keg
Replies
9
Views
1K
Closet Fermenter
Closet Fermenter
R
Helles style
Replies
18
Views
1K
Brooothru
Brooothru

Latest posts

Back
Top