The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Would this be a good time to make a call to the guys in Artillery and inform them "The position has been overrun, Charlie is INSIDE the wire!" and request they start bombing the living **** out of Yawkey Way? That old "We had to destroy the village in order to save it." mentality?

Cause I'm thinking those arsehole could all use a nice heaping plate of napalm, from John Henry down through the clubhouse boy who ran down to Popeye's every other Wednesday. Get rid of all the barstids, except Petey, Ellsbery and the rookie catcher whose name escapes me. Honestly don't know if I'll watch a single inning of the Series, I'm that disgusted with baseball.
 
paulthenurse said:
Would this be a good time to make a call to the guys in Artillery and inform them "The position has been overrun, Charlie is INSIDE the wire!" and request they start bombing the living **** out of Yawkey Way? That old "We had to destroy the village in order to save it." mentality?

Cause I'm thinking those arsehole could all use a nice heaping plate of napalm, from John Henry down through the clubhouse boy who ran down to Popeye's every other Wednesday. Get rid of all the barstids, except Petey, Ellsbery and the rookie catcher whose name escapes me. Honestly don't know if I'll watch a single inning of the Series, I'm that disgusted with baseball.
Click to expand...

PTN. How could you be so insensitive? Do you know Old Man Henry fell down the steps on his $28m yacht the day he canned Tito? I'm suprised he made the attempt on the day he gave his servants the day off from carrying him down the multi deck stairs from the Helipad. I guess his wife tweeted the day of the accident and he was fine to watch his other team in the derby.

I know you're into diving. Maybe you could drop by The Iroquois and discuss your plans. It's usually docked at Rowe's Wharf.
 
The Great 2011 Cidar Experiment has begun. Picked up some cidar at the Worts soiree this past weekend and let my imagination run wild.

1319067826.jpg


From the top left: 3 gallons with 2 pounds of Oregon tart cherries and US 04

Under that is 3 gallons with an ounce of dried woodruff and Windsor yeast.

Below that is 3 with extra tannic acid added and Nottingham.

Middle row top is two and a half gallons with 1.5 KG of honey and 1116 for yeast, topped up with apple juice.

Under that is three with US 05.

And lastly, on the far right is 3 gallons left alone to ferment with whatever yeast was floating around in the orchard.

We shall see.

PTN
 
Nice! I usually do a couple of batches of Ed Worts recipe but was thinking of expanding this year. There's a place where I get cider from an old town forest orchard that has old varieties and came out a lot different from the regular orchard i get my cider from. Two questions:
1) Did you add any dextrose or keep the abv low?
2) Where did you get your cherries from? Were they frozen/jar/raw? I may go with your cherry recipe.
 
Just canned tart cherries from Shaws. I used three 14.5 oz cans, juice and all.

I did NOT add dextrose. I wasn't looking to make high octane appfelwein. (Not that there is anything wrong with Ed's recipe, I've made it before and will again but I was looking to do something more traditional.) My adding the honey to the one carboy was in order to go more along the mead road. Even then I only boosted the gravity to 1.078 but will get more of a honey nose/flavor profile.

PTN
 
Top Ten List of Questions to ask when they interview the new Red Sox Manager.



10. "How many secret herbs and spices in your old family recipe?"

9. "You're ok with a keg at 2nd base, right?"

8. "We're thinking of scrapping that Sweet Caroline crap and doing a few rounds of '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.' How's your voice? Could you take the mike and sing lead?"

7. "We going to rename the 'Seventh Inning Stretch' the 'Beer Frame' unless we come up with something better. What do you think?"

6. "Our new ball girls all work at the Foxy Lady, so no extra inning games on Thurdsay nights, OK? We don't want to mess with Legs and Eggs."

5. "Red Man Chew is out. Jello Shots are in. Feedback?"

4. "Do you know where we can get a few cases of Whizzinators?"

3. "Did you REALLY make it to 'Tenth Level Vulcan Warrior' and you own a magic sword and an invisibility cloak? Cool!"

2. "Do you wear the bowler hat, the embroidered shirt and the mutton chops ALL the time?"

And the number one question that Red Sox management want to ask their potential new managers, "If you only had one hop to use for the rest of your life what would it be?"
 
Yeah, I'm super jealous of dropping Notty into apple juice.

AAAARRRRGGG!!!! When will Paul's genius ever cease!?!?!

HOLD the phone!!!! You're saying.... YOU'RE TELLING ME... Paul... put... CHERRIES in a cider?!?!

Pure... effin... genius.
 
Paul, I understand not adding the extra dextrose but do you dump out the Oxyclean before you fill the carboy or do you add more just before racking to create some Epic Dry Hopping-Oxyclean effect?
 
Now ya see, that was a perfect example of why the Mods don't shut this total waste of bandwidth of a thread down. It was mean, it was cutting, it was dry, it was sarcastic, and it was funny. It had Masshole written all over it. I applaud you.

In answer to the sarcasm disguised as a question, I realized long ago, probably after the first time I had one of 'you know who's beers, that Oxyclean adds Full Strength Ass Flavor to beverages. I also realized that I didn't like it, so unlike 'you know who' I skip that step. Kind of like Irish moss. Just don't bother. Some people apparently like it, but me? Not so much.
 
Then you guys can have a few drinks together and shoot the $hit.

"Brothers don't shake hands, brothers hug"
 
Hey this thread doesn't have spam! Yet... When PTN and Cape get after it they sling so much crap that the mods don't know what to decipher.

Cape how do you feel about baseball? PTN what is your rebuttal.

Commence the bickering!
 
baseball blows.

Debating what I wanna brew this week. Doing at least two batches... Brack Rager and then I'm not sure what.

I gots Thursday off.

I might do an IPA but I've got a Belgian IPA that's about to be ready in a couple of days. Hmmmm...

it's a mystery.
 
SSBrew 300

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