The stupidest comment on your beer

The biggest comments I get are "strong" , "heavy" and "dark". I dont scoff or get angry or defensive. Compared to the very light, very carbonated and very low ibu's they are accustomed to, they are correct. Instead of being snappy, I try to encourage descriptions of what they mean, and tell them the why's. Typically what I have found is that unless I am serving a big beer, "strong" means hoppy. MBC beers typically are @15 ibu's. ( I brew one with willamette that comes in at just over 20 sometimes for these family and friends and they kill a 5 gallon corney fast. I gotta make 10 gallon batches for these get togethers) "heavy" refers to malt, usually, and "dark" is in contrast to the very pale lagers they see.

I find after some education with some pics of various styles, they get it, and are more polite in their responses, and are more curious too. I try to carry some German lagers and Oktoberfest marzen styles of either my efforts or others for these people. Back in the 80's when beer culture first took off for the first time, that is how I crossed over.

Buying some RO water for a brew day recently, and asked for the most recent mineral content analysis sheet that they keep copies of behind the counter. The lady who rang me up asked what I was using the water for that I needed the mineral content. I said I was brewing some beer, to which she responded "you use water to brew beer?" I didn't know how to respond, especially since the store she works for sells a lot of water to homebrewers, which is why they keep the mineral analysis sheets behind the counter.

bottlebomber said:

I've never tried eating hops... And since I'm not one to take anyone's word for anything, I'll have to take a nibble

Click to expand...

Hops are edible and quite tasty in smaller quantities. A local beer bar / pizza joint has "hop bread" on the menu. It's cheese sticks with some whole leaf hops and garlic sprinkled on top served with a marinara sauce that has some hops in it. Damn tasty if you ask me. My friend who doesn't like hoppy beer isn't a fan of it though, and said it was like eating an IPA.

JuanMoore said:

Buying some RO water for a brew day recently, and asked for the most recent mineral content analysis sheet that they keep copies of behind the counter. The lady who rang me up asked what I was using the water for that I needed the mineral content. I said I was brewing some beer, to which she responded "you use water to brew beer?" I didn't know how to respond, especially since the store she works for sells a lot of water to homebrewers, which is why they keep the mineral analysis sheets behind the counter.

Hops are edible and quite tasty in smaller quantities. A local beer bar / pizza joint has "hop bread" on the menu. It's cheese sticks with some whole leaf hops and garlic sprinkled on top served with a marinara sauce that has some hops in it. Damn tasty if you ask me. My friend who doesn't like hoppy beer isn't a fan of it though, and said it was like eating an IPA.

Click to expand...

That sounds frikkin awesome... Next time I make the fam some pesto bread sticks I'm gonna make a few of those

bottlebomber said:

That sounds frikkin awesome... Next time I make the fam some pesto bread sticks I'm gonna make a few of those

Click to expand...

I've cooked with hops a few times, and found it's best to use low AA hops, and use them sparingly. I often use a few cascade cones either with or instead of the basil in my bruschetta topping, and it's always been a hit with guests.

That sounds absolutely lovely. Now I'm wondering if a strong cheese with a little hops on a cracker or hard toasted bread would be nice with an IPA...

Had an old friend over to help me bottle this weekend. He asks what I have available, So I tell him I've got some nice easy drinking English bitter in the fridge. Mild, 3.8% abv, good for a warm afternoon. He looks at me and says, "No offense, but do you have any real beer? I'm not drinking 3.8%."

Irritating. But then again, everytime I brew up a batch his first question is always "What's the percentage?" Drives me nuts. I can't seem to get him to understand that you don't always drink beer just to get hammered.

Just tell him the beer is 7% ABV. Since it actually has some flavor he will probably believe it.

bottlebomber said:

Just tell him the beer is 7% ABV. Since it actually has some flavor he will probably believe it.

Click to expand...

Or say you forgot to take the og / fg and ask him what he reckons the % is. Should be funny cause he probably will way overestimate it because everybody knows flavour = alcohol

mattd2 said:

Or say you forgot to take the og / fg and ask him what he reckons the % is. Should be funny cause he probably will way overestimate it because everybody knows flavour = alcohol

Click to expand...

Exactly.

At a gathering a buddy of mine was talking up my beer and saying things like, "Oh this is going to get you drunk! Like 7%!"

It was a 4.5% Chocolate Sweet Stout

ICWiener said:

Had an old friend over to help me bottle this weekend. He asks what I have available, So I tell him I've got some nice easy drinking English bitter in the fridge. Mild, 3.8% abv, good for a warm afternoon. He looks at me and says, "No offense, but do you have any real beer? I'm not drinking 3.8%."

Irritating. But then again, everytime I brew up a batch his first question is always "What's the percentage?" Drives me nuts. I can't seem to get him to understand that you don't always drink beer just to get hammered.

Click to expand...

you should teach him math. tell him to stop being a puss and drink twice as many beers. that's why i can still wear a thong. math. math and drunken-ness.

Or say you forgot to take the og / fg and ask him what he reckons the % is. Should be funny cause he probably will way overestimate it because everybody knows flavour = alcohol

Click to expand...

That was my thought, initially. Although he's not happy unless his beer is over 60 IBUs. He's no stranger to strong, bold beers so asking him to gauge an ordinary bitter could backfire on me!

Eh, no big deal. He says a lot of off-the-wall and unintentionally offensive stuff in general. I give him a mile of slack because he did some rough stuff in the Army. PTSD has effectively muted his ability to self-regulate a lot of the stuff he says.

you should teach him math. tell him to stop being a puss and drink twice as many beers. that's why i can still wear a thong. math. math and drunken-ness.

Click to expand...

I did! And when he finally tried one he said, "Wow, that's really good." I gave him the finger.

"This is a great wheat beer" on my pale ale... From the VP of my department. I just smiled.

When I tell BMC drinkers I brew my own beer, they act all excited - then they try it and are confused when it's not a corn-adjunct lager and typically say "It's too strong" or "It's too heavy".

I'm really not a fan of the "It's too heavy" comment, because it makes little to no sense to me what they really mean. Gotten it for everything from a Belgian IIPA to a Stout.

ao125 said:

Gotten it for everything from a Belgian IIPA to a Stout.

Click to expand...

...Both of which are heavy beers. Am I missing something?

ao125 said:

Gotten it for everything from a Belgian IIPA to a Stout.

Click to expand...

Kerin said:

...Both of which are heavy beers. Am I missing something?

Click to expand...

Yes. The *everything* part. From/To implies a range.

ao125 said:

Yes. The *everything* part. From/To implies a range.

Click to expand...

The range was from heavy to heavy though. "Pale Ale" or "Pilsner" to Stout would have made way more sense.

emjay said:

The range was from heavy to heavy though. "Pale Ale" or "Pilsner" to Stout would have made way more sense.

Click to expand...

Whatever.

The point is, that I get the comment on just about everything I make, and it's non-descriptive - at least contextually speaking, from the people making the comment.

My friends (BMC folks) are convinced the ABV of my homebrew is 20%. Keep in mind I keep a conscious effort to brew low ABV beers. What they don't realize is since it is free and on tap they drink 4x of it.

I imagine this one has been brought up a zillion times. Not complaining that they drink a ton of it since I need help getting rid of it. I just find it funny they don't recognize they are drinking way more.

John_FL said:

My friends (BMC folks) are convinced the ABV of my homebrew is 20%. Keep in mind I keep a conscious effort to brew low ABV beers. What they don't realize is since it is free and on tap they drink 4x of it.

I imagine this one has been brought up a zillion times. Not complaining that they drink a ton of it since I need help getting rid of it. I just find it funny they don't recognize they are drinking way more.

Click to expand...

Serve in pitchers, keep score on a nearby chalkboard. "you idiots drank 12 pitchers of beer tonight!"

Maybe I don't have enough friends but all of my friends and family seem to love the homebrew, except for very bitter IPAs and IIPAs which I can understand. Otherwise all I get is: "What are you brewing next?"

ao125 said:

When I tell BMC drinkers I brew my own beer, they act all excited - then they try it and are confused when it's not a corn-adjunct lager and typically say "It's too strong" or "It's too heavy".

I'm really not a fan of the "It's too heavy" comment, because it makes little to no sense to me what they really mean. Gotten it for everything from a Belgian IIPA to a Stout.

Click to expand...

That's when you tell these clowns to bring their own and stay the f#$% out of your good beer. They can keep their ice cold tasteless garbage. I seem to have surrounded myself with beer snobs which makes the kegs drain quickly. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Gives me a good excuse to brew a lot either way.

EdMerican said:

That's when you tell these clowns to bring their own and stay the f#$% out of your good beer. They can keep their ice cold tasteless garbage. I seem to have surrounded myself with beer snobs which makes the kegs drain quickly. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Gives me a good excuse to brew a lot either way.

Click to expand...

I need to have more people over to drink.

I have a keg filled with a bourbon & oak aged pumpkin porter that I need to kick so that I can bring on my summer/spring wheat and get ready for my summer IPA.

At least the NHL playoffs have started, so that should be an easy task.

paulster2626 said:

Serve in pitchers, keep score on a nearby chalkboard. "you idiots drank 12 pitchers of beer tonight!"

Click to expand...

Brilliant idea! Most of them help me brew, bring food and such, so like I said not complaining. It's just really funny they don't recognize the actual cause. This should help, especially since my Keezer is chalkboard painted.

I don't have many friends that I give a lot of beer to, and the friends I do have like real beer, so I'm not sure I'll get to contribute much. I have enjoyed the thread though, and will eagerly seek an opportunity to belittle a noob for his stupidity!

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f46/show-us-your-label-229144/index4.html#post3993247

Great labels, but a typo hits on the grain/hops confusion other have noted. I hope he notices before printing.

From friend: it's good because it's free. If he only knew.
From dad: the faster you drink it the better it is

"tastes like Schlitz"

a mate of mine asked if my witbier was an ale or a lager. i told him it was an ale, and he says No it's not, it's too light."

This thread is so hilarious, and so depressing.

Krazykripple said:

a mate of mine asked if my witbier was an ale or a lager. i told him it was an ale, and he says No it's not, it's too light."

Click to expand...

Then why'd he ask?!

Mother-in-law: Oh, this is excellent.
Me: Haha, it's definitely okay as long as it isn't super cold. Wish I hadn't hopped it to 90 IBUs.
MIL: It's so English.
Me: Erm, 'kay? It's got pilsner malt.
MIL: But it really tastes english. It's just like my dad bought.
Me: Cascade hops, American yeast.
MIL: It's really strong. Much stronger than your porter.
Me: ...Okay.
MIL: *nods* I'm much drunker.

It was maybe 5%. The porter was over 6%. Next time I'm just going to smile and nod and let her drink as much of my travesty BIPA as she likes.

tennesseean_87 said:

Then why'd he ask?!

Click to expand...

sorry, he asked me the question before i'd opened the bottle, then didn't believe me after i'd poured a glass

Krazykripple said:

sorry, he asked me the question before i'd opened the bottle, then didn't believe me after i'd poured a glass

Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure that question was rhetorical.

I like a hoppy MaiBock.

Your first mistake is expecting an intelligent opinion from a chiropractor lmfao

I know this is a "what other people said about your brew" thread but a little self deprecation is never a bad thing...

Back when I was 21 (ish) and in one of the first bars I had been to that had more than bud and miller on tap the guy (probably a regular there) next to me struck up a conversation when he saw I was looking through the beer list. He asked what I liked/didnt like to which I responded "I'm not too picky, but I usually don't like anything too hopsy."

He was pretty good natured about it, had a good laugh with the bartender at my expense and let me know that "hoppy" might be a better term to use in the future.....then he suggested I try the delerium nocturnum which was and still is awesome in my book.


I have also gotten quite a few of the "you're going to go blind drinking that stuff" comments about my own beer. Oh well

jro238 said:

He asked what I liked/didnt like to which I responded "I'm not too picky, but I usually don't like anything too hopsy."

He was pretty good natured about it, had a good laugh with the bartender at my expense and let me know that "hoppy" might be a better term to use in the future.....then he suggested I try the delerium nocturnum which was and still is awesome in my book.

Click to expand...

Sounds like your average HBTer to me

My cousin's girlfriend: "Your stout is better than Guinness, and I would know!"
Me: "Um thanks." (knowing it was nowhere close to being as good as guinness but happy for the complement anyway) lol

In hindsight, I think she just had the hots for me because I am such a beer brewing stud of a man...

"Oh, it's bitter." (IPA)

or...

"Oh, it's dark." (Stout)

...Gee thanks Captain Obvious.

bobbrews said:

"Oh, it's bitter." (IPA)

or...

"Oh, it's dark." (Stout)

...Gee thanks Captain Obvious.

Click to expand...

Follow that up with "What color is this blue shirt?"