Why am I not getting any head?

You know, when I pour my beer. What were you thinking?

I bottled a batch of blonde ale 4 weeks ago and it's carbonated enough to drink but I think it needs to be more carbonated. I used a kit and I think it called for 3/4 cup of sugar for my five gallon batch. They are stored in the basement @ 70 F. I've tried to slowly flip the bottle over to get everything mixed up but its still the same. Any ideas? I'm guessing the basement is a little warm for carbonation but I can't adjust the temp down there.

That seems like a long time to have no head. Did you not use a priming sugar? Did you use a bottling bucket etc? Prime in a pot dump in bucket? Sounds like either not enough sugar or yeast is weak? Only two things I can think of.

First....don't flip them.
Second....what kind of glass/cup are you using?

I ask because I had a batch that I thought had no head. I kept pouring into a glass and it had nothing. Turns out it was my dishwasher detergent that was killing the head. I poured into a red SOLO cup and the head was glorious.

Look into this first, and if that is not the culprit, you can look somewhere else.

Pint glasses. I've had no problems with carbonation with the other kits I've made.

Curt480 said:

That seems like a long time to have no head. Did you not use a priming sugar? Did you use a bottling bucket etc? Prime in a pot dump in bucket? Sounds like either not enough sugar or yeast is weak? Only two things I can think of.

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Yes on all accounts. I hope the yeast wasn't week.

your beer has no swag

BradleyBrew said:

your beer has no swag

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Beat me to it.

james138 said:

I've tried to slowly flip the bottle over to get everything mixed up but its still the same. Any ideas? I'm guessing the basement is a little warm for carbonation but I can't adjust the temp down there.

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flipping the bottle to stir things up might be a factor.
Are your glasses clean (no residue, jet dry etc)?
If you have clean glasses, a blonde should give you head after 4 weeks.

Try jewelry!

I usually get great head from blondes

amandabab said:

flipping the bottle to stir things up might be a factor.
Are your glasses clean (no residue, jet dry etc)?
If you have clean glasses, a blonde should give you head after 4 weeks.

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Haha most blondes will give you head after one date...the reds will do it for free.

You guys are as funny as I am!

I knew that thread would get smutty

I'm surprised it took so long

The most common reason you're not getting head is that you're too dirty...

In other words... dirty glasses... dirty bottles.... or dirty practices during brewing... (i.e. oils, soaps, solvents).

So am I just screwed or is there something I can do about this?

Enjoy the headless horseman?

Could be cleanliness issues, could be solvents or cleaners that made their way into your brew setup. Could be the malts you've used having poor head retention.

Could be you insulted the beer gods and a penance must be made.... by giving great head.... to receive you must give ya know.

pigsaarz said:

I knew that thread would get smutty

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This from a person with a pig's butt for an avatar.

bwirthlin said:

I usually get great head from blondes

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The definitive reply.

Usually roses or painting some parts of the house do it for me

Sounds like you have been married too long...

I would agree with others that there may be an issue with residue in your glassware. Try scrubbing a glass with some salt water, rinse, and see if things are any better.

I rinsed my bottles in the dishwasher without soap but there a slight chance there may have been some jet dry. However, I did rinse the inside of each bottle with a vintanator and starsan before I bottled, so I would think that would have rinsed out any residual jet dry.

bwirthlin said:

i usually get great head from blondes

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+1

So just an update, I put the beer directly on the basement floor and voila, almost instant carbonation. I'm guessing it was too warm for carbonation.
Thanks again.

james138 said:

So am I just screwed or is there something I can do about this?

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You're getting screwed and you're worried about getting head? Someone's priorities are whacked.

Seriously, the temp. shouldn't really be a problem. You eventually got carbonation, so my guess is you just had to wait. I doubt moving them to the floor made any difference.

james138 said:

So just an update, I put the beer directly on the basement floor and voila, almost instant carbonation. I'm guessing it was too warm for carbonation.
Thanks again.

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No such thing as too warm for carbonation, but hey, it works now!

Why am I not getting any head?

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In beer, as in life, fat will ruin your chances at head as well!!

Ironically, though, fat chix may just be your best bet! Fat bottom girls do make the rockin' world go 'round, after all! :rockin:

P.S..you know what's even better than head? Head retention!

Head retention and LACING! Look at that lacing, guys...this is lacing. Lacing!

Could have not stirred priming sugar in well enough. Half of my first batch had no head and half had too much head. (I never thought i would complain about too much)

Try manscaping...

BWAHAHAHAHA. Needed to read this thread l.ong day at jobby job