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paulthenurse

paulthenurse

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Down by the rivah, Down by the banks of the Rivah
So whilst sitting in an un-named members wicked pissah basement bah last week I happened to mention a particular post I had made whilst under the influence of demon rum.

(Un named but his initials are 'Cape Brewing')

(opps. those where only supposed to be initials, how the fruck did CAPE BREWING show up on the screen instead of some sort of annonymous CB?)

So I ask you... How often do you post whilst under the influence of said DEMON RUM? (Or its beer equivelant)

Do you think CB (or some other dog frucker who lives in Norton Massachusetts--- let's face it, you drive down the streets of Norton Mass and you hear banjo music) was JUST a little off target when he said <all so innocently,> "Oh ya, another PTN, drunk at 8 am post, I love those!

I got a really good excuse to be druck at 8 (or in this case 10:30) am. Wouldn't you like to be me?


BTW, Nice freakin' bah!

PTN
 
so... so frightening. (shuttering)

and whoa... WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! I would like to defend myself by saying that at NO TIME did the phrase "oh ya, another PTN, druck at 8:00 AM post blah blah blah" come out of my mouth.

What I said was, "I love when you start a post with 'I'm druck and shouldn't be posting this but... ' " . For some reason... some little tidbit in there... gave me the vague impression that perhaps you had partaken in said demo rum.

AND FURTHERMORE!!!!! When kind sir... did I EVER even suggest in the slightest way that I perceived this as a bad thing??? Never.

And why you gotta dis on Norton like that?!? That's bull&^$!!! We have a f'in traffic light and everything!! It's like f'in Los Angeles in Norton... only with less homeless.

I can chalk all of this up as bitter-talk anyway. I feel your cold stares PTN!!! I feel the seathing hate you've developed for me over such a short period of time!!!

ALL BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO CHIP IN TWELVE BUCKS FOR A SHOT OF UTOPIA!!! BIG DBAG JERK-FACE Cape Brewing!! Leaving you standing there with un-sold shots of beer.

The truth alllllllllll comes out now! Now it's alllll clear!!!

The roosters have come home to... ehh... ROOST!!!


(PS... thanks for the compliments on the bah... we'll have to get some HBT folks rounded up for a group brew and some hangin' down there some time soon!... only I probably won't charge guys... "Yeah... you know... it's kind of awkward but if you guys could all maybe chip in 78 cents a peice for the tripel's I opened for all of you... yeah... that would be a big help... I feel like a jerk for asking but I'll get over it" )
 
Ok the heart that has had me doing 30 or 40 different things at once for the past 9 hours has finally decided to behave itself and act nice so I can walk out of the room and eat my lunch. Mmmmmm, a nice soggy sandwich. And no beer. Although I've been watching a monitor all night it has had little sqiggly lines on it, not English football. I'm wicked jealeous of my friend, CB.

I would have thought a businessman like yourself would appreciate my spirit of entraepeneurship. It's guys like Chris and I who make America great. Free enterprise, Baby! Why we could have turned a tidy profit that day. Or at least we could have if you had been a good American and participated in the free market system. But NO! You tightwad. You cheapskate. You Commy! Tell the truth, CB REALLY stands for Communist Bastid.

(Start humming America the Beautiful to yourself while you read the rest of this)

It's little guys like me, guys who go out and start a business, buy supplies, hire workers, maybe a truck or three, factory whistle crying out at 5:30 am, employer matching funds! Ya, Chris and I could have helped rebuild America. But YOU screwed it up! Mr "Oh that's ok, I've had the Utopia before, I'll just stand here and watch you guys make America an economic powerhouse again!" all the while drinking your BELGIAN beer! We were brewing SAM ADAMS! A good AMERICAN beer! We were jump starting the economy. An economic stimulus package right there in CHris's garage. And you laugh at us!

(Ok you can stop humming now)

I hope you are proud of yourself. Frankly I'm ashamed to call you my friend.

PTN
 
Oh please... Chris probably found that bottle on Craigslist and bought it off of some goober who got it as a gift and had no clue what he had. Chris probably got that thing for like $12 and the only reason he paid that much was the guy thought the bottle had copper salvage value or something.

"Oohhhh... uuhhhhh... yeah... it was like $250! Honest... it was really super expensive! And... these designer plastic shot glasses were imported... from... ehhh... Sweden! yeah, Swedish plastic shot glasses! And that air your breathing here in the garage??? Had it imported from a glacier on the coast of Greenland and I'm having it piped in through the heating ducts. But it's ok, we're not sparing any expense for you guys.... 'cause you guys are special."

It's all a scam. I've seen it a million times.

Get a group of guys over... get a few beers in them, jack up the carbon monoxide levels by running multiple boil kettles in a closed garage getting everone a little dizzy and disorientated and then WHAMMO... ask for the ol' "pitch in for the really expensive beer".

Oldest trick in the book.


And for the record, it's not a 145 inch TV... that would be obnoxiuos... it's a 109. I have limits.
 
PTN will probably cry since I'm off topic but I love the f'in bows in everyone's avatars. Crackin' me up.

NO PTN... YOU CAN'T CHARGE PEOPLE FOR PUTTING BOWS ON THEIR AVATARS!!!
 
Will you two stop bickering like your married? Actually on second thought im bored as hell and its entertaining so keep it up.
 
It's a hat with a bow so big that its gravitational pull bends the light around the hat, making it invisible.
 
dataz722 said:
Will you two stop bickering like your married? Actually on second thought im bored as hell and its entertaining so keep it up.
Click to expand...

I would but PTN's probably "sleeping" (making the quotation marks with my fingers).... you know.. because he's "tired" (again with the fingers).... probably too much "demon rum"... you know... he got all "druck" again....

actually... crap...

that last one didn't need quotation marks.
 
Hey Pinko!
tell us the truth, the dog hurt his leg while you were giving him "The Norton Mash Tun!". And you probably didn't even have the courtesy to give him a reach around! What did you do when it came time to pay the vet, offer him a sack of potatos? Ya know why there aren't many homeless in Norton? Cause you Commy bastids probably take them home with you. Not me, no sir Sam Adams didnt ride his horse thru Gettysburg so that a try blue American could have a homeless guy in the spare bedroom! Sam Adams didn't fight the British with one hand tied behind his back so we could drink Belgian beer! Sam Adams was a brewer and a Patriot! He wanted to sell his beer for as much as he could get for it so he could go to Mexico with Gisell and have her feed him grapes. Commies don't go to Mexico! Oh now that's great, not only are you helping destroy the fabric of America but you're keepin' our little friends to the south impoverished! Impirialist Commie Overlord! You should move back to Russia, Commie, where you could lie awake at night thinking of the good old days when you lived in Norton and had that homeless guy, what was his name again? Oh ya, Svenn. Back in the good old days in America you could have Svenn run and get you a nice cold Belgian ale, you could pile drive all the dogs in the neihborhood that you could catch, and you could buy and drink AMERICAN Sam Adams at whatever cost the market would bear!
 
Why would a patriot like sam adams go to mexico? wouldnt he prefer texas.... just as many mexicans but still the good ole US of A
 
dataz722 said:
Why would a patriot like sam adams go to mexico? wouldnt he prefer texas.... just as many mexicans but still the good ole US of A
Click to expand...

Or Phoenix. Seriously, nothing there but mexicans and hot, young women! (mostly pregnant, not that that was much of a mystery)
 
Probably because he knew he would never run into that Commy Cape Brewing in Mexico.


Oh, and BTW, Chris didn't get the Utopia on Ebay. We made it in my kitchen the night before. One part of flat cream soda, one part of flat Moxie, two drops of vanilla extract and three teaspoons of maple syrup and an ounce of glycerine to make it feel all heavy in your mouth.

So there, Mr CommySmartyPants, who feels foolish now? We reaised the free market system to an even higher standard. We kicked it up a few notches! Not only did we pick your pockets for our "Utopia" but we overcharged you for it. Well, not you, cause you're a Commie Bastid and a cheapskate and a dog frucker to boot.

And not for nuttin, but I didn't get druck when I got home this morning. I packed and went straight to bed. So there! (OK in the spirit of absolute honesty, I was giving my liver a break, we're flying out to the Keys tomorrow morning and I figured it needed a day to rest up.) But that's not the point. And although I'm not exactly sure what the point is a the moment I don't think that should slow me down. Oh wait, Utopia, Drunken Ramblings, Microeconomics 101, Job jealousy.

Ya, that's right, JOB JEALOUSY!!!! I saw the way you were looking at me while I was standing there in a pair of scrubs and faggy clogs. Don't think I didn't. Well if you wanted to be me you should have studied harder in school, Sonny. Just WISHING you could trade in your "Ya, I have to work from home today, so I'm watching Chelsea get their ass kicked by MU on a TV screen you can see from space and drinking beer" job for my "Standing next to a bed with a 450 lb pantload lying in it at 3:56am, and knowing that I have to roll his ass over cause he just crapped himself and all of my 'girlfriends' at work have working noses too and so they remembered someting vitally important that they needed to do in their rooms, to emerge in 20 minutes or so when the carnage is over' job... Well, wish in one hand and **** in the other. You can't! It's mine, all mine

Ya know why I drink when I get home? I come up with my best ideas then. Like the one where Chris and I made up the fake Utopia. (Hey, I overcharged Chris for his half of the ingrediants, too, if that makes you feel any better.)

PTN
 
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go open up my front door and wave a few pesos at any one of the dozens of homeless Svenns we have here in Stoughton. I'm going to promise him 75 peso's to shovel the driveway and warm up my car, while I go take a shower and get ready for work. Then I'm going to only pay him 50 and drive away real fast. And tomorrow, when I get home SWMBO and I are going somewhere warm and we'll be narced during the day and double narced at night. See, that's the beauty of America, CCB. In America, you can mass produce some cheap piece of crap and overcharge like crazy for it and fly off to somewhere warm, leaving 'the little people' behind. So don't buy my ersatz Utopia! See if I care! Like Barnum and Baily said, "One if by land, Two if by sea." And there will be two good Americans standing in line behind you, fighting with each other to drive up the price for it.
 
nice... realllllllllllll nice.

My dog has cancer. The limp is from a large bone tumor in his right hind that basically ate through the bone until he snapped it by simply standing on it. We're now looking at either amputation or losing him.

... and apparently I'm bangin' him.

Nice.
 
I'm sensing a Dude-like, "I should have gone to the ER and you guys told me not to and now I've got to have my finger amputated!" sabotage thread going on here.

If you are telling the truth I feel wicked bad.

But I'm pretty certain you're messin with Sasquatch.
 
God's honest truth boss and no, I'm not pulling a "I had to cut my finger off" joke.

Ben has Osteocarcinoma (sp?) which obviously by the sound of it is bone cancer. By the time the tumor is visible, it's too late and it's already eaten through the bone. The bone weakens until it simply snaps (which it has) and then the bone is so damaged rhey can't do anything with it and the leg simply has to come off.

we've been back and forth to Angell about four times for tests to see if the cancer is anywhere else in his body, which make amputation kind of a moot point.
 
Is there a HBT ****** of the Year award?

Anyone?? I did a search per the one reminder I happened to see of Revvy's suggesting people do searches and I didn't see anything.

'cause I have a nomination
 
Ya just can't leave two Yankees alone to do anything right. :rolleyes:

You both could've come out ahead. Even without the dog. If you'd've just thought about it. But, y'all didn't.

CB could have charged a cover to get in his "bah" and PTN could've paid it with beer. CB would've got his cover paid for in beer. PTN would have gotten in without paying money but beer instead. CB gets beer. PTN gets in for 'free'. Barter for the win. That's economics in hard times right there.

Now, since I had to think this up for y'all. It's $12.87, three Swedish shot glasses and a bottle of Utopias for the consultation.
 
CornyKegs 300

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