upright freezer blues

So...
I've been wanting to make a fermentation chiller/kegerator, so I found someone on craigslist who has one. I borrowed a truck and a friend, and went to the lady's house that was selling it.
Unfortunately, she was a full-on hoarder. Had to bushwhack our way through her garage to get to the thing. When we finally arrived at the freezer (after months of slogging through dense jungle, where we lost 3 good men to malaria and dengue fever- the horror! ) it turns out that it was A) full of frozen things and B) so iced up that the aforementioned frozen foods could not be removed.

But, the price was right...

So my friend and I hauled the freezer back outside and began chipping away at the ice.
We removed about 20lbs of ice, and 30 lbs of frozen foods (gumbo, yall!)

With still 30lbs of extra ice encasing the shelves, we heaved the heavy beast into the back of the borrowed f350, at this point my back went "sproing" and felt like someone had stabbed me in the lumbar region.
Not to be deterred (this *is* homebrew we are talking about), we finished loading the D*** thing and got it back to my house. Now unloaded, I left it outside to thaw, with my big fan blowing the ice/water as offering to the beer-sky gods.

Now that the ice has thawed and the palezoic mastadon steaks removed, I can see I have a problem...

a problem I'd rather not admit to my wife because she didn't want me to spend 75 bucks on "something you're just going to cut a hole in anyway"....

That problem is ...

I can't move/remove the shelves. They are part of the cooling system, with aluminum tubing underneath the metal shelf rack. This wouldn't be so bad, but there is no way a carboy will fit upright in there, much less carboy + corny keg.

So, now I need your help and advice.
Do I
A) 'fess up to my wife, clean out the freezer, and try to sell it on CL, getting enough to purchase a freezer that has movable shelving
or
B) Try to bend/cut/remove the wire racks to make room for carboys/kegs/beer

or C) ...

It's a perfectly good freezer and would make an awesome beer fridge, but nothing is gonna fit

Thanks for the advisement, o wise elders of homebrew.

Resell it. This is a very common problem with upright freezers. You might make enough to buy an upright fridge or a chest freezer. You could also mod it to make a ferm chamber by removing the front door and using insulation foam boards to make a box.

sell it. next time aim for a frost free model. those almost always have removable shelves. or just get a standard top freezer style fridge. those are really easy to find used cheap or sometimes free