3 children compared to 2

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

TxBrew

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
9,308
Reaction score
2,113
For those who have 3 kids, not talking to you weirdos with 3+.

What your thoughts on 3 kids? I know I won't get any "make this nightmare end" but looking for frank comments on being able to get enough quality time per kid, logistics of three, etc.
 
The biggest issues I had in going from 2 to 3 was the inability to divide and conquer. You can't split 'em up and deal with issues without leaving one still running around. This transition was the hardest for us -- how do you control 3 runaway kids when there are only two of you? Get past that part and you've got it licked.
 
I've got two, but from everyone ive known with three, you don't notice the difference. Two is lots harder than one, but by then you are so tired anyway you don't notice a change with a third.
 
I found three to be a horror show. Maybe because kid #2 was like having four in one. But then, I pretty much had them by myself most of the time.
I also didn't overschedule anyone. If it was going to be a logistical nightmare to get a kid to dance class, they didn't sign up for it. And I couldn't afford it anyway, LOL.

As soon as they're old enough, get them to do stuff around the house. Mine started doing their own laundry at about 8. Sounds harsh, but they didn't appreciate my efforts and I was always crabbing about clean clothes on the floor, etc.

They could all cook themselves something halfway decent by about twelve or so.
We really had no thought about "quality time". We spent a lot of time together (see above re: overscheduling) as a group.

Depending on the ages of the kids, having enough room in your car for three car seats could be a problem. And finding a sitter was really hard.

School lunch money sucked. $2.75/ kid. So I gotta come up with six dollar bills and nine quarters every day? PITA.

Grocery shopping was h-e-double hockey sticks, but not as bad as clothes shopping with three kids.

Good Luck! :D
 
Growth spurts are hell, 2 weeks of groceries in a couple days and can never get all 3 to agree on a movie, game, etc.
 
My wife and I have a 2 year old son and a 7 month old daughter.

I'm getting snipped in a month or two. I refuse to be outnumbered, and I couldn't possibly be happier by having more children. Life is too short for that kind of craziness. My thoughts on the matter.
 
I'm one of the crazy weirdos who have 4. Going from 2 to 3 was no big deal, IIRC, as they were all within a year or so of each other. The 4th came by surprise 5 years after the 3rd. 20 years later and I've still not recovered from that shock.
 
The biggest issues I had in going from 2 to 3 was the inability to divide and conquer. You can't split 'em up and deal with issues without leaving one still running around. This transition was the hardest for us -- how do you control 3 runaway kids when there are only two of you? Get past that part and you've got it licked.

He is right.
 
I've got two, but from everyone ive known with three, you don't notice the difference. Two is lots harder than one, but by then you are so tired anyway you don't notice a change with a third.

He is wrong, two to three is a huge change. Everyone he knows is just trying to trick him into having a third because misery loves company.

But in all seriousness the hardest part is being outnumbered someone is always on their own it's compounded even more when you drop down to one parent (wife travels for work) on the positive side if you have a boy and a girl you'll end up with two of the same sex and you won't have to buy many cloths.

How old are your other kids?
 
I've got 3. #3 is awesome, I can't imagine not having him. So, how can I answer?

The "kid schedule" was orchestrated by my wife, ultra-planner. She wanted to space them 3 years apart, and she wanted 3 so that if one of them died it wouldn't leave the other as an only child. Morose perhaps, but someone has to Gantt chart my life.
 
I've got 3. #3 is awesome, I can't imagine not having him. So, how can I answer?

The "kid schedule" was orchestrated by my wife, ultra-planner. She wanted to space them 3 years apart, and she wanted 3 so that if one of them died it wouldn't leave the other as an only child. Morose perhaps, but someone has to Gantt chart my life.

That's a pretty ****ed up thought process.
 
I've got 3. #3 is awesome, I can't imagine not having him. So, how can I answer?

The "kid schedule" was orchestrated by my wife, ultra-planner. She wanted to space them 3 years apart, and she wanted 3 so that if one of them died it wouldn't leave the other as an only child. Morose perhaps, but someone has to Gantt chart my life.

What if two of them died? :(




And, congrats, TX?
 
Wow. Am I the first with the incredibly apt basketball comparison?

2 kids = man to man

3 kids = zone is all you can do..and you are hopelessly outnumbered.

Wouldn't give it up for the world.
 
I've never heard someone say "I regret having another child."

but I've often heard people say "I wish we would've had another child."

The more the merrier. Plus, tax advantages are better with 3.
 
Seems pretty rational to me. The only thing guaranteed in life is death.

Passedpawn, did she suffer the loss of a sibling at a young age or, have you two experienced having a child in ICU?

My wife is uber-rational. No, no immediate losses in either family. When I say she plans everything, I truly mean every hour of every day for the next year is planned. You'd have to see her calendars to truly appreciate it. She's a terrific mother and good wife. I've always been a sucker for smart women.
 
I've never heard someone say "I regret having another child."

Sure, no one says it. You're not allowed to. Speaking negatively about having children is a complete no-no in our society (outside the context of stand-up comedy etc).

You think that the couple that has two children a year apart from each other didn't have a few regrets when their third "miracle" came along 13 years later? No doubt about it. You'll never hear about it though. Child rearing must always be described as a "blessing", "pure joy" etc etc.

Refer to comedian Louis C.K. for more details on the subject.
 
TxBrew said:
For those who have 3 kids, not talking to you weirdos with 3+.

What your thoughts on 3 kids? I know I won't get any "make this nightmare end" but looking for frank comments on being able to get enough quality time per kid, logistics of three, etc.

3 boys... The jump from 1 to 2 was the tough one. 2 to 3 was not as big of a step. Note our boys are almost exactly two years apart - all teens now and spending more money on milk than gas!
 
2 was cake, 3 was omg what did we do?!

It really depends on the kid. Sometimes the first is the hardest, sometimes it's number 3. This is why it's different for each family.

Would I do it over and stop at 2? No, as challenging as #3 is, he's still worth it. I just have to enjoy those smiles and hugs that much more.
 
I had 3 for many years. All boys. The middle child was more work than the other two put together. Plus, one was always left out. I am glad I survived their fighting years. Their ages are 21, 18 and 17. Oh yea, then there is a 9yr old too...
 
When I say she plans everything, I truly mean every hour of every day for the next year is planned.

I can't imagine how she hasn't gone insane yet. Unless she doesn't get upset when plans go awry.

My experience has been that any two children will be perfectly fine, but it's a rare treat when all three are cohabiting peacefully. Only any two will get along at any given time. Until they're about 15. Then they know who the opposition really is. :)
 
No kids for me but I was the second of three. My older brother and I are four years apart and my younger brother and I are eight years apart. The biggest difference I noticed was just the diminished resources in all regards. As others said, you can't play man-to-man coverage which also means it's hard to give any one kid attention at a time without somebody feeling short changed and left out. Some things are harder to do in odd numbers as a family (e.g. games, sports, etc.).

Money is obviously the biggest area where resources are depleted. Some parents may take issue with this but I would really look at your financial picture and figure out if you can give three kids a great childhood or if you're going to struggle with the third. It's nice to want lots of kids but not everybody can afford it. Having children is the greatest indicator of bankruptcy these days. Maybe you have the excess income to afford the third. I'm not guessing anything about your financials.
 
Yup. I think you're the first to say it outright. But sometimes, in our society, that would be a blessing. Self-reliance, improvisation, compromise, and all that jazz.

In our society that means not getting your new Iphone5, I don't believe for one second that anyone considering if they should have third child would do so without being able to provide their child a reasonable life.
 
Three boys here: 3,5 and 7. No big deal going to three. Beer consumption seemed to go up proportionately though.

2 boys and a girl 3, 5, 7, my daughter is the youngest. I love them to death but there are days I want to lock my self in my room and cry. The dealing with a third wild one's antics when you have to deal with #1's continual failure to use his brain and #3's have to be attached 24/7 is what gets to me. #2 is severely ADOS "Attention Deficit Oh Shiny" and way to smart for his own good. He will look at a problem and have it figured out before you even know he has identified the problem is tiresome. Usually the problem is something you have taken away or don't want him to have, and his sole goal in life is to get it when you turn your head to deal with the other 2.
Good luck and congrats TX
 
At the risk of coming off like a putz, can someone explain to me the desire to have that many children? I just really don't get it. I obviously don't have any of my own. I've been married for almost 19 years and have been diligent in my effort to not have any. Sometimes I think I'm missing out, and have considered maybe having one, but 3 or more just seems so excessive & unneccesary. I see friends of mine with 2 and am constantly hearing about how much of a struggle it is.
 
At the risk of coming off like a putz, can someone explain to me the desire to have that many children? I just really don't get it. I obviously don't have any of my own. I've been married for almost 19 years and have been diligent in my effort to not have any. Sometimes I think I'm missing out, and have considered maybe having one, but 3 or more just seems so excessive & unneccesary. I see friends of mine with 2 and am constantly hearing about how much of a struggle it is.

I have too many cars too. My Ex liked to skip her pills once in awhile. See I said it, but the kids MY Kids and will be loved equally. If it were up to me, I would have had one as well. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, and they are all spoiled. You don't regret what you never had.
 
Plus, tax advantages are better with 3.

Tax advantages might be better 2 vs 3, but when it still costs over $200K to raise a kid, your looking at $400K vs $600K. Tax savings are not going to fix that.

Wait til you get three of them all at different schools and none of them drive yet. That is when the fun starts. Good news for the oldest, they usually get to start driving when they are 15 or 14. :)

My wife had two when we got married. They were like 4 and 5. We decided to have a third together. We figured that when the older ones started to hate us, the younger one would still like us. Then when the younger one started to hate us, the older ones would start to appreciate us and like us again.

Last but not least. The frequency of girls car accidents are higher, but the severity is lower. The boys are just the opposite. That is based on empirical evidence.

Congrats and enjoy.
 
3 boys here, 8,6 and 2. Car seat/boosters are a PITA, especially when doing the two car shuffle. If your pockets are deep, by a set for each car, it's easier. We have the room in the house, so no threat there, though I did lose an office. I do brew more now than I did 3 years ago. I'd say make it through the diaper phase of the 3rd, then you either have it figured out or not. My biggest gripe is starting to happen, their activities. 2 soccer teams and scouts, church stuff, pool, and then friends and family. By the time the little guy is on a team, we'll never be home. (I am an enabler as a coach both teams)

But I told the urologist, I'm either having 2 or 3 kids, and she's pregnant with #3. I joke around with that line at times, but wouldn't give them up for anything. Good luck.
 
I've never heard someone say "I regret having another child."

but I've often heard people say "I wish we would've had another child."

The more the merrier. Plus, tax advantages are better with 3.

I will say I regret having another child with my first wife. We had number 1 son who was peaches and cream easy. Great kid, listened all the time, never really wanted to do anything but color or read, was reading by age three doing simple math by four, all in all dream kid. #2 son was hell on wheels, I swear we should have named him Damien. By 2 1/2 he'd figured out all of my pet peeves and would feed off of my frustration. It may have been fine if we had him first, but since he required so much attention the first kid got none and started to react negatively to it, stopped talking and withdrew a lot. Not to mention #2 seemed dumber than a box of rocks. He was the kid you'd see banging his head into the wall repeatedly to see if it still hurt. Anyway fast forward and that wife left to continue following her family around (never marry a gypsy if you aren't one) and I remarried 5 years later. Have a new son and he is a happy kid who gets lots of attention and will be the only one my wife and I have, not because I fear a repeat of the situation, but age/health related.
 
Having children is the greatest indicator of bankruptcy these days.

Never heard this before...a Google search turned up empty, do you know where you heard this?

I'm of the opinion that money should never be a reason for having/not having kids. Seems backwards to me. Finances dictate children? No way...that's for you & your wife to decide. Then you figure out a way to make the finances work. I know plenty will disagree with me and that's fine, not looking to start a debate, just sharing my opinion.

Here's another morsel for thought:
Frustrated with "the next generation?" or where the world's headed? Then DO something about it...make kids and train them to be how you want the world to be. Literally "make disciples."
 
Here's another morsel for thought:
Frustrated with "the next generation?" or where the world's headed? Then DO something about it...make kids and train them to be how you want the world to be. Literally "make disciples."

I rarely get into parenting arguements, but this logic came up the other day. A cousin posted something on facebook about 'kids nowadays' and my response was 'you only have yourself to blame.' My children don't and won't ever dictate how they are raised, that is our job. What they do afterwards is their own problem. But if you have a kid that is overweight and plays video games all day, the blame lays squarely on your own shoulders.
 
We stopped at two. I was fairly adamant. The world is overpopulated as it is and we aren't killing each other off as much as we should be to "combat" the situation.

My kids are great. I have friends who have kids that were a CHORE to raise. Maybe part their fault for parenting style, but I firmly believe that genetics can play a major role in how a child behaves at a young age. It's a trick to find ways to get them to do what they ought to do.

My two do laundry. Wash dishes. Cook for themselves. Mow the lawn (the oldest anyway. The younger is too short and weak to reach the brake, but she is counting the days!)

Besides all that, the oldest reads on her laptop ALL THE TIME and watches scifi stuff and behaves like a lazy kid when not doing chores. The youngest spends time on the computer playing dumb computer games, even though we have some pretty nice video games on the PS3 and computer.

So when they aren't actually doign chores I feel like I could complain, but since the actually do the household chores I often bite my tongue.

I think it's funny how all my friends' kids have said they were afraid of me. The only explanation I could give for that was that I was firm, I punished when I said I was going to, and I was consistent. My kids knew they could not let me being to count down, because they were already in trouble at that point. When my friend's kids saw that it was quite a shock.
 
Going from 2 to 3 was a huge jump for us. The amount of work involved increased exponentially. We have 2 girls, which are cake to raise, and a boy that is more work than I could ever have imagined.
 
Any time is tuff not to mention any good ol' fassion "quality" time.
I have 3. 14 yr old girl and 2 younger boys. We dont get to spend as much "quality" time just because its hard to get them all together. You have to plan "family" time to really get any.

Good luck on the family plans, my man!

Cheers
Jay
 
Back
Top