When it comes to a gift for my wife... I receive an EPIC FAIL!

Happens every time I need to buy her a gift. It is depressing. I REALLY want something thoughtful but I can never come up with something good. So usually I just buy a bunch of stuff that I hope is thoughtful and hope she actually likes something. Even when she gives me ideas I don't feel like I do a good job.

I suck.

This year is even tougher. We agreed to be frugal (isn't everyone?) and only get a small inexpensive gift for each other. Then one gift we will get together. I asked her for ideas but she said, "Surely you can come up with one small thing".

Nope. Wrong.

FAIL!

Thankfully she is getting gifts for the kids and relatives or else I would probably be done for.

I guess when it comes down to it I don't even know my wife anymore. I have no idea what her interests/hobbies are or if she even has any. I racked my brain trying to think about what they could be. I try and pay attention. All I can think of is her work as far as what she "does".

No wonder this time of year is depressing.

My trick is to start paying attention when we're out starting back in October or so. Make a quick note in the phone or something. Something she's commented on, or said was nice, etc. And then get it within the week so you don't forget. Isn't fool proof, but it often gets the job done.

I'm double cursed though. SWMBO's birthday is the 22nd!

I hate shopping for the SWMBO. Tell me what you want or just let me buy you a gift card so you can get something you want.

Have you considered jewelry? Don't all women like jewelry? Honestly I wish you the best of luck and hope she isn't too hard on you.

Dude. I could have written that. Maybe I did and just don't remember.

We're getting all new hardwood flooring after the first of the year and have decided to just get inexpensive little trinkets for each other for Christmas. Number of trinkets I've purchased so far: 0. Number of ideas I have: 0. Number of days left: 5.

She'll have 10 or 15 cool little things for me. I guarantee it. I haven't a clue what to get for her. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Here's where you and I are headed:

Beware of the Doghouse

McKBrew said:

I hate shopping for the SWMBO. Tell me what you want or just let me buy you a gift card so you can get something you want.

Have you considered jewelry? Don't all women like jewelry? Honestly I wish you the best of luck and hope she isn't too hard on you.

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My wife likes jewelry, but isn't super into it. I have bought her much of it. She does not wear that much jewelry.

That is the trouble she is not hard on me about it. I am probably harder on myself. I want to get something she will enjoy.

Kilted Brewer said:

My trick is to start paying attention when we're out starting back in October or so. Make a quick note in the phone or something. Something she's commented on, or said was nice, etc. And then get it within the week so you don't forget. Isn't fool proof, but it often gets the job done.

I'm double cursed though. SWMBO's birthday is the 22nd!

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I have been paying attention almost all year. Just thick I guess.

Zymurgrafi said:

I have been paying attention almost all year. Just thick I guess.

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Maybe that's the problem. Too much info to compute in the old hard drive. What she commented on in January ain't gonna mean squat in December!

My days left are 1 by the way.

We exchange gifts on the solstice.


Think I'm gonna go find some rope...

I have opted to give the wife a gift card for $160.00 worth of rubbins at Eden Salon and Spa.

This girl loves massages almost as much as I hate giving them. Well, that or the guy at Eden is smokin'.

$160.00 equates to (4) Half hour rubbins (no happy ending) or (2) One hours and a $20 vanity purchase.

How can I go wrong here?



I can't, when I ask what she wants she says "MASSAGE".

SWMBOs are easy to shop for. You get them things that have to do with pictures. Either do one of those calendars or photo books online that you can upload photos to or you go get one of those pictures frames that have 3 or 4 openings. Toss in some pictures of you, the kids and the rest of the family.

My wife needs a hobby. Impossible to shop for w/o a hobby!

adx said:

SWMBOs are easy to shop for. You get them things that have to do with pictures. Either do one of those calendars or photo books online that you can upload photos to or you go get one of those pictures frames that have 3 or 4 openings. Toss in some pictures of you, the kids and the rest of the family.

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See, I guess I do know a "hobby" of hers but I cannot think of anything to get.

She is the one who makes the photo albums and calendars and such. She and I both are artists. She is a graphic designer/professor by trade.

Every woman on the planet loves flannel pajamas from Victoria Secret.

I was embarrassed once... never again!

I do what KiltedBrewer does and make notes starting in the fall.

Zymurgrafi said:

See, I guess I do know a "hobby" of hers but I cannot think of anything to get.

She is the one who makes the photo albums and calendars and such. She and I both are artists. She is a graphic designer/professor by trade.

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You're screwed then. What ever you do, do not buy her a vacuum cleaner.

I know mine's hobbies all too well but that is what I have been buying her for years now and this year wanted to do something different but I am stumped too. Have you been out to the stores and just walk around? That is what I plan to do after work one night and usually something comes up as a good idea. One thing she buys me just about every year (among other things) is a nice high quality pillow for my stiff necks. Good luck.

I love those gourmet cook shops in the malls, lots of neat stuff in there.

Aubie Stout said:

My wife needs a hobby. Impossible to shop for w/o a hobby!

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I agree!

Instead of a vacuum, I bought her a crock pot. We'll see how that goes.

jgln said:

Have you been out to the stores and just walk around?

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Yup. Just got back when I posted this. I find myself doing that every year and it is an extremely painful depressing experience.

I like to do my shopping early, and as such, get it done early. I picked out a handfull of things I knew she wanted- the last season of Sopranos, Wii Fit, Dark Knight... And a couple fun things I know she would enjoy- a couple CD's the Godfather collection, the new rayman game...

What sucks is I put out my stack of presents, she put out hers, then every night for the last couple her stack for me keeps getting bigger... She is still buying crap!!!!

Oh well, I already got her stuff, I guess I will just get more



prepares bed with the dogs....

Zymurgrafi said:

Think I'm gonna go find some rope...

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Gonna tie her up? Nice that she's into the kinky stuff.

Thats the trouble. I am smart enough to know what would be a crappy gift (vacuum cleaner, etc.)

Not smart enough to come up with a meaningful gift though.

Maybe I will get her a gift from Heifer international. We have given those as gifts before to other family members. That and something tangible though...

Arrgh. I suck.

I wish she liked music. I mean she likes music, but she is nowhere near as fanatical about it as I am. She does not know or care much who an artist/group is, just listens.

I know she has been into suduko and formerly crosswords. Not fanatical or anything and super basic level. That does not give me any good ideas for a meaningful gift though.

Sean said:

Every woman on the planet loves flannel pajamas from Victoria Secret.

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My wife HATES victoria's secret. That would be like getting a vacuum I am afraid.

Man I feel your Pain! My SWMBO once wrote "I love You" on 24 pairs of socks with A Sharpie for Christmas.
(For the record....I'm commiserating not hijacking)
It's not that I don't pay attention to her, and god knows I WANT to get her something that will make her happy.
It's really a ****ty thing when you can't think of one single thing for your wife...the one woman that means more to you than anything else in the world...the one that you would be willing to do ANYTHING for...and you can't even come up with a damn gift for Christmas!

Dude....I'm with you!

My wife and I have a deal: We BOTH suck at choosing gifts for eachother...

So at some point she orders something for herself - and tells me that's her christmas present.

I do the same for myself.

Of course this year 99% of the christmas fund is going towards the kid.

Zym, I think our wives might be twins. Except for the music part. My wife is a musician (piano, flute, organ, guitar). But I'm a musical idiot and wouldn't know what to get her.

Fortunately, I always have an epiphany at the last minute. I expect it to hit on Monday.

When you don't know what to get, here's a few things that might do the trick. Choose two.

1. A letter (not a card). Something that really explains how you feel about her, and why she should rock your world tonight (ok, maybe not that last part).
2. A personalized coupon book from you, that they can redeem at any time. Personal masage, breakfast in bed, you clean the whole damn house, weekend B&B.
3. Pedicure, manicure, masage from your local day spa.
4. Plane tickets, hotel reservations, vacation plans.
5. If you're musically inclined, a song
6. If you're a word smith, some prose
7. Flowers (that you can put in the ground), bulbs...orchids are a beautiful indoor favorite that will last months.

I know there are some women wrapped up in material wealth, and that's what they want. However, all the women in my life "like" the material stuff but really just want a gift that I put some thought into. Especially for your sig other, don't just "get" something..."do" something. Just try to think about their "love language": physical touch, encouragement, quality time, acts of service, "stuff".

TwoHeadsBrewing said:

When you don't know what to get, here's a few things that might do the trick. Choose two.

1. A letter (not a card). Something that really explains how you feel about her, and why she should rock your world tonight (ok, maybe not that last part).
2. A personalized coupon book from you, that they can redeem at any time. Personal masage, breakfast in bed, you clean the whole damn house, weekend B&B.
3. Pedicure, manicure, masage from your local day spa.
4. Plane tickets, hotel reservations, vacation plans.
5. If you're musically inclined, a song
6. If you're a word smith, some prose
7. Flowers (that you can put in the ground), bulbs...orchids are a beautiful indoor favorite that will last months.

I know there are some women wrapped up in material wealth, and that's what they want. However, all the women in my life "like" the material stuff but really just want a gift that I put some thought into. Especially for your sig other, don't just "get" something..."do" something. Just try to think about their "love language": physical touch, encouragement, quality time, acts of service, "stuff".

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All great ideas. No go.

I have done all that sort of stuff and more. In fact, I do it for no reason at all, meaning no occasion. I leave her love notes often.

They get no response. When asked if she got them she just says "yes. Thanks."

I have made her artwork as I am a printmaker. Does not really seem all that special as our house is already full of my prints.

You ALL have it wrong - THIS is the gift that you SHOULD be getting her!

Its definitely along the lines of 'economical' and how could she get mad at you for such a thought out gift?

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg]YouTube - Saturday Night Live - Dick In A Box[/ame]
-Me

Zymurgrafi said:

See, I guess I do know a "hobby" of hers but I cannot think of anything to get.

She is the one who makes the photo albums and calendars and such. She and I both are artists. She is a graphic designer/professor by trade.

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Buy her some supplies then. I don't know what a graphic designer/professor uses in day to day stuff, but if you know of a certain item she uses a lot, or maybe has an old filthy thing that could use upgrading buy her a new one. It sounds like she's more into practical gifts (to a point) than luxury baubles.

To steal from a tacky line from the movie "Beer for my Horses" just tell her you have something big and warm and it's wrapped in a pair of underwear. Buy her some rubber gloves too, tell her it's an upgrade for the dishwasher. . She'll find this so amusing that the laughter you bring her will be the greatest gift ever. :rockin:

adx said:

You're screwed then. What ever you do, do not buy her a vacuum cleaner.

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Agreed. If you do, then I guess we should all start calling you "Dual Bag"

Right there with ya man!

My SWMBO has no hobbies, no collections and, as a pilot, she rarely wears jewelry. I struggle to find anything for her. She's talked about wanting to go meteorite hunting, so maybe this year I'll pick up a nifty metal detector, some powerful magnets and a GPS. She's out of the country until February, so I have some time and can take advantage of the after-Christmas sales.

She got me into brewing a year ago by buying me my first kit. She got me a membership to wines of the month this year. Yeah, I'm a lucky man.

There's always this.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/great-christmas-gift-idea-swmbo-93763/

I am going to give you the ultimate SWMBO gift secret which is cheap and shows you are thoughtful and care. I will even spell out the steps for you so you cant mess it up.

Step 1: go on to your computer and look for digital pictures of you and the swmbo together doing fun stuff, it doesn't matter how old the pictures are, or if they are off center or whatever. You put aside about 10 pictures of the two of you, preferably head shots and the like. You then upload the pictures to your a pharmacy website, I use CVS. com as they have built in photo editing on the web site. You then use the photo editing on the site to appropriately crop the pictures, then you order a copy of each printed out in black and white, get an assortment of sizes both 5x7 and 4x6. If you can't find pictures of the two of you on your hard drive, check your SWMBO's facebook or myspace for pictures of her and her friends and use some of them.

Step 2: Go to the local thrift store or Ikea or pier one and buy a bunch of 3 to 5 dollar frames. the best ones are 5 x 7 and 8x10 you will want to get the larger frames one size larger than the pictures you have ordered so a 5x7 picture goes in an 8x10 frame and a 4x6 picture goes in a 5x7 frame.

Step 3: Go to the pharmacy and pick up your black and white prints, while there buy about 10 sheets of black construction paper. Don't forget to hit on the hot photo clerk...

Step 4: Go home and cut the construction paper to fit inside the frames, then tape the pictures to the construction paper and put the pictures in the frames.

Step 5: Wrap the frames and give to SWMBO. If she works in any type of office setting, these pictures will make pretty much every other woman in the office jealous.

It is an amazing gift. This year I was able to give every single woman I know framed pictures of our group of friends hanging out as a present for under $40 total, amazingly cheap and amazingly great.

Panties, bras and lingerie are always a good idea. My SWMBO loves to get them because they make her feel sexy. Really, we both benefit from them because I get to look at her before I take them off!

Z, Two words... Coach Bag. Frugal? NO. Happy SWMBO? HELL YES!

SWMBO and I have always made it easy on each other. We each find something we want. We tell the other. The other says ok. We order our own christmas present online (or pick it up at the store) and when it gets here, the other says "Merry Christmas!".

We don't do much for gifts- just the "token" gifts. I think it's super easy to please most women, because it's true that it's the thought that counts.

How about something inexpensive, but still luxurious that she wouldn't buy herself? Like.............a super soft pair of warm gloves; a wonderful scarf; department store bath salts; silk long johns (if you live somewhere cold!); sheepskin lined slippers, something with real cashmere even if it's just the trim on gloves; the photos that were mentioned earlier; a super special Christmas ornament for the tree; a special type of gourmet food if she's into something (like expensive cheese, but only a small amount with the gourmet crackers to go with it); a nice bottle of wine and a note for a "date" in January, when the kids must go to Grandma's (arranged by YOU!); a gift certificate for a pedicure; a coupon book made by you with plenty of coupons for a massage, doing the dishes, a "free" night out with the girls, etc; a goofy handmade trophy for the "world's best wife"; a secretly made home video of you and the kids saying all the ways you love her; chocolates (if she's a chocoholic). Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. But you get the idea- very little money, but meaningful, is what women like.
NO toasters, mixmasters, roombas, etc.