Things that come out of the SWMBO's mouth!

Yesterday was the first time I have brewed in some years and I forgot how wonderful hops smell. As I'm splitting them up for different time additions, she walks by and says "EEEEWWWW, what's that smell! And a few from today, "Why didn't you just leave your beer in the Igloo cooler to ferment" and last but not least " Maybe we should start saving the big cat litter jugs so you can put your beer in them". Anybody else get these words of wisdom?

haha those are some pretty good quotes. My SWMBO doesnt say anything in fear of me laughing at her.

"Why does the whole house smell like a stinky fart?"

Response:
"Because my beer is fermenting in the basement!"

After I got done brewing a stout. "are you making brownies back there?"

"You should put more alcohol in it."

"At least it exploded in your room..."

"Are you done with these bottles?"

"I don't care how much it costs, so long as it doesn't take up anymore space."

"5 gallons?! Are you going to give it away to your friends?!" <--on cider day
"Did you ask your friends if they want any?!" <--cider fermenting
"Did any of them want it? I don't think you can drink all of that." <--kegging day
"We can make them some cider later, this one is for us." <--on tap
"Something is wrong with your thing...only foam comes out." <--shortly after :fro:

Teromous said:

"You should put more alcohol in it."

"At least it exploded in your room..."

"Are you done with these bottles?"

"I don't care how much it costs, so long as it doesn't take up anymore space."

"5 gallons?! Are you going to give it away to your friends?!" <--on cider day
"Did you ask your friends if they want any?!" <--cider fermenting
"Did any of them want it? I don't think you can drink all of that." <--kegging day
"We can make them some cider later, this one is for us." <--on tap
"Something is wrong with your thing...only foam comes out." <--shortly after :fro:

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Awesome... Sounds like you have converted her to the darkside!

You should have titled this "That's what she said."

My favorite:

After hitting the kegerator pretty hard for about an hour or two: "I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch at it's only 6:30. I can't stop drinking yet!"

Two hours later: "I'm trashed! Why didn't you stop me?!?!"

30 minutes after that: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz."

Teromous said:

"Something is wrong with your thing...only foam comes out." <--shortly after :fro:

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Taken out of context, this statement could have a whole different meaning. Yes, I have a dirty mind.

Things the wife will say
Brew Day... (1)I love the smell of barley (2) I really don't like the taste of fresh wort but I'll try a sip.
Keg day... Honest opinion of sample
Carbonation complete day... Honest opionion

"Wouldn't it be easier to just go to the store and buy some beer?"

13 years ago when I started, doing extracts
"Seems like a lot of work...what's wrong with Moosehead?"

After making a nice blonde with some hop bitterness
" I like this."

Years later after making mostly Pale Ale....and her drinking her fair share
"Why don't you brew my beer again?"

After brewing my first all grain attempting to duplicate the extract blonde she liked
"It needs hops."

Following tasting Old Rasputin Imperial Russian Stout a couple years ago
"When are you going to make something this good?"

Lately...
"Do you think you have enough beer stuff now......but don't run out again."

30 years of marriage...it only took about 5 to make her a beer snob

I'm far more concerned with what goes INTO SWMBO's mouth.

"I'll dump all your beer down the sink if you {insert whatever random nonsense here}" she's been saying it for 5 years...maybe I should keep a primary full of dirty water for her to dump out one day.

turtle said:

"I'll dump all your beer down the sink if you {insert whatever random nonsense here}" she's been saying it for 5 years...maybe I should keep a primary full of dirty water for her to dump out one day.

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It could work out if it's a dirty keg/carboy/kettle. I just start migrating dirty brew-stuffs into the kitchen and they miraculously get cleaned sometimes :rockin:

For my latest brew, a session farmhouse ale...
"Not bad, tastes kind of like what dad used to drink... Hamms."

SWMBO doesn't like beer at all so it didn't hurt my feelings, at least my boys liked it.

Kinda reminds me of the blog http://****mydadsays.com/

Of the language filter kicked it...it another word for crap, that starts with an s.

"I don't even want to know what you are doing."

All I ever get lately.

Bobby_M said:

I'm far more concerned with what goes INTO SWMBO's mouth.

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Soooooo many things are coming to mind but none would be appropriate

You spent how much on <insert so much here >?

Most common thing I hear is "I thought you were done buying equipment". I always seem to find a new gadget to buy to upgrade my brewery.

milldoggy said:

You spent how much on <insert so much here >?

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You have to learn.... there are real prices and "wife" prices.. if it cost you $30 tell the wife it was $10

iaefebs said:

You have to learn.... there are real prices and "wife" prices.. if it cost you $30 tell the wife it was $10

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my wife is hip to wife prices. or as she calls them "ian prices". The same can be said for the amount of time I believe something will take. like making a quick 5 gallon batch will only take 3 hours....double that if you add in all the hiccups.

"I wish there were coupons for your brew stuff." My wife is a KrazyKouponLady.

iaefebs said:

You have to learn.... there are real prices and "wife" prices.. if it cost you $30 tell the wife it was $10

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That's my situation if she doesn't know how much it costs she doesn't care.

maffewl said:

you should have titled this "that's what she said."

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+1

my last brew day after my GF asked what i was doing that day and i responded "brewing beer" - her response was "you're an idiot. is my lambic done yet?"

I had two five gallon buckets from a feisty fermenting batch going in the spare bathroom tub. She said "if they blow up, this whole thing is over." I watched them like a hawk, did the clean up and everything is cool.

55 pound bag of Maris Otter sitting on the kitchen table, "Is this sack going to be dropped from an airplane to feed the hungry, or are you going to move it."

jtakacs said:

my last brew day after my GF asked what i was doing that day and i responded "brewing beer" - her response was "you're an idiot. is my lambic done yet?"

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You should punch her in the face.

teromous said:

"something is wrong with your thing...only foam comes out."

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Heard that!

My wife mostly avoids my brewing, so no good words there. The drinking side however.... This past Halloween extravaganza she states: Why am I so bad at beerpong??? [falls over] I calmly state that she is playing with my 8.5% 'Reaper of souls' Hefe. and the other team is playing with my 2.9% English mild.

You guys crack me up. My SWMBO doesn't say a word about my brewing. She just silently give me the dreaded evil-eyed look.

iaefebs said:

You have to learn.... there are real prices and "wife" prices.. if it cost you $30 tell the wife it was $10

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She is keen to wife prices, need a new tactic.

After eyeing 5 or 6 cases on the shelf in the bar and knowing there are 3 taps running, she says " When do you have enough!"

Hmmmm.....I think I'll increase my batch size from 10 to 15 gallons on Sat!

azscoob said:

My wife mostly avoids my brewing, so no good words there. The drinking side however.... This past Halloween extravaganza she states: Why am I so bad at beerpong??? [falls over] I calmly state that she is playing with my 8.5% 'Reaper of souls' Hefe. and the other team is playing with my 2.9% English mild.

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That's hilarious.

milldoggy said:

She is keen to wife prices, need a new tactic.

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Husband prices are far worse than wife prices.

milldoggy said:

She is keen to wife prices, need a new tactic.

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When asked how much a given batch cost, I respond with a price relative to commercial beer:
Ie: my IPA cost $30 less than 2 cases of Dogfish head IPA... and when I can make it with my own hops $45 less

<any beer I give her> Mmm... that's good... but it's not really my style.

her - "how many beers have you had so far?"
me - "what makes you think I've been drinking beers already?"
her - "you're brewing...you always drink when you brew"