Timetable rant

So what's up with all these recipes that call for X number of days in the primary, Y number of days in a secondary, then bottle and ready to drink Z number of days later? Why not give some easy guidelines to follow that allow the yeast to do its job and produce better beer?

I followed those instructions for a while (until I found HBT), and my beer has improved dramatically! So even if I use a recipe that calls for timetables, I have enough knowledge to ignore them.

I guess I'd understand the "why" of setting timetables if they actually benefited someone, but who benefits by following them? Not the brewer, because he runs the risk of producing mediocre or crappy beer. Not the maker of the kits, because if the first kit tastes like crap, he's less likely to sell more kits. Not the recipe writer, he doesn't benefit one way or the other, for the most part. So why not just write a better recipe that'll produce better beer?

Anyway, rant over. That is all.

who benefits by following them?

Click to expand...

People who have never brewed before and do not visit HBT. Rigid timetables are easy to follow, even though they don't produce the best results.

I think the timetables should be considered a rough estimate... I guess "primary until FG is reached" and "secondary until it looks ready" wouldn't really fly in a book.

A lot of brewing instructions are just how the brewer who wrote the recipe brews. Everyone has their own way and often thinks that it is the only way to do something.

Just like anything you adapt the recipe to fit your way of doing things. When I'm brewing someone's recipe I ignore all that stuff, unless it's an actual brewing step like it calls for a decoction mash. But if it's a subjective thing length of time in primary, I ignore it, and do what works for me, which is usually a long primary.

I pay attention to the numbers, such as preboil volume, Original gravity, and anticipate final gravity range, strike and mash temp, stuff like that, but anything else, unless it looks like it would clearly alter the outcome of the beer, I take as being subjective from the brewer's perspective and nothing more.

Of course that might be something that comes with experience, knowing what is necessary and what is opinion.

None of my recipes have times in fermenter, unless it is like dry hopping or something, I just let them know what the gravites should be.

I would assume they're there for legal reasons. As stated above, ferment until done, probably wouldn't fly.

Notice how microwave dinners now have minimum temp listed in the directions? If I cared enough to actually have a food temp at work I probably wouldn't be eating frozen crap eh?

Revvy said:

...None of my recipes have times in fermenter, unless it is like dry hopping or something, I just let them know what the gravites should be.

Click to expand...

Revvy is so powerful that he can tell his recipes what the gravity they should be at any point in his brewing process and they immediately go to said gravity.

shek said:

Revvy is so powerful that he can tell his recipes what the gravity they should be at any point in his brewing process and they immediately go to said gravity.

Click to expand...

I lol'd so hard. Mainly because it's true.

shek said:

Revvy is so powerful that he can tell his recipes what the gravity they should be at any point in his brewing process and they immediately go to said gravity.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I wish....AND that I could wave a magic wand over my bottles and they could be instantly carbed and conditioned. (if that were the case I might actually have beer ready by Christmas)

Or it could go from wort to fully carbonateed bottles with out doing anything... I mean like bottling.

Actually there's really no point in telling someone how long they should do something, in theory they should be letting their hydrometers tell them that.

But it's not like the YEAST are going to follow those instructions, they will get done when they are good and ready, and not a minute before.

It's kinda like a saying we used to have in Ministerial School, "How do you make God laugh? You tell Him YOUR PLANS."

I just took a hydro sample from my Mad Hatter after 7 days in the primary. Other than the joy of seeing a 1.013 SG (1.063 OG, gonna be a nice dry one), there is still a TON of crap in suspension. No way would I bottle this. Gonna wait at least 2 more weeks, then dry hopping in a secondary, then into the bottles.

Revvy said:

It's kinda like a saying we used to have in Ministerial School, "How do you make God laugh? You tell Him YOUR PLANS."

Click to expand...

I know a joke about how a cowboy makes a horse laugh. And then cry a couple weeks later. . . .

Those timetables are more like general guidelines, after a few brews those guidelines pretty much stop applying and you go on gravity readings more than "x days"

Yankeepride15 said:

I know a joke about how a cowboy makes a horse laugh. And then cry a couple weeks later. . . .

Click to expand...

Holy 4 year dead thread bump to allude to a cowboy joke, batman...

Pony up the joke.

Revvy said:

Holy 4 year dead thread bump to allude to a cowboy joke, batman...

Pony up the joke.

Click to expand...

A man walks into a bar and bets a guy he can make a horse laugh, guy takes the bet. So the first guy takes the horse aside and whispers in his ear and sure enough the horse begins to laugh.

The second guy is astounded by this but pays the first guy his money and goes back to his drink.

First guy comes up to him again and says, "I feel bad so I tell ya what, I'll give you a chance to win your money back. I bet you I can make that horse cry."

Second guy thinks about it a minute and decides to take the bet.

First guy takes the horse into the back room and a minute or two later comes back out and sure enough the horse is crying.

Second guy pays his money and says, "But how did you makee a horsee laugh and cry?"

First guy replies with, "Well to make him laugh I told him my dick was bigger than his, to make him cry I proved it."