I am an idiot

Williams 728
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Jaehnig said:
If I use two weevils they may asexually reproduce together and I would have four or more weevils. I they reproduce, I may have eight or more and so on. Too many weevils will drain the charge on my fermentation chamber and may transport my wort into the 5th dimension.
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Just do us a favor and don't try to divide the weevils by 0.
 
Here this should help

Buckaroo_Banzai_map.gif
 
Whattawort said:
Just do us a favor and don't try to divide the weevils by 0.
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By dividing the weevils by 0 we may generate enough nuclear energy to power our tractor beam. We will be able to produce enough tractors to knock mars out of orbit. This would cause extreme temperature differences during bottling. Producing off visual effects.
 
Jaehnig said:
By dividing the weevils by 0 we may generate enough nuclear energy to power our tractor beam. We will be able to produce enough tractors to knock mars out of orbit. This would cause extreme temperature differences during bottling. Producing off visual effects.
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Not to mention the sunburn...
 
Jaehnig said:
I just met a man named Brutus. Is he meant to be added into the secondary with my weevil?
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Brutus is definitely intended to be secondary. Do not drink this brew on the 15th of March, or you may be randomly stabbed...
 
Leadgolem said:
Brutus is definitely intended to be secondary. Do not drink this brew on the 15th of March, or you may be randomly stabbed...
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Unless its w leap year. Then you'll be stabbed by a leprechaun. Twice!
 
Your a unicorn? I'd be careful admitting that around here or you'll end up in the brew kettle. No offense but unicorn makes a great dry hop and the horn is a perfect mash paddle. It adds that little bit of magically deliciousness.
 
static said:
Your a unicorn? I'd be careful admitting that around here or you'll end up in the brew kettle. No offense but unicorn makes a great dry hop and the horn is a perfect mash paddle. It adds that little bit of magically deliciousness.
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All I have to do is fart and I'll propel myself out of danger and leave you in a cloud of rainbow dust and skittles. Sucka! And that's just perverted. Really, you not only want to touch my horn, but you want to keep it? Sick bastard.
 
Whattawort said:
All I have to do is fart and I'll propel myself out of danger and leave you in a cloud of rainbow dust and skittles. Sucka! And that's just perverted. Really, you not only want to touch my horn, but you want to keep it? Sick bastard.
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Flagging as NSFW
 
So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his junk. Bartender asks about it and the pirate replies: "arrrr, it's drivin' me nuts."

These are the same pirates that besiege laser toting sharks in 750,000 gallon fermentors, just for the record.
 
HawksBrewer said:
So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his junk. Bartender asks about it and the pirate replies: "arrrr, it's drivin' me nuts."

These are the same pirates that besiege laser toting sharks in 750,000 gallon fermentors, just for the record.
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I'll put my beer pilfering gnomes against your pirates. Huzzah!
 
I see your gnomes, and raise you zombie cyborg ninja monkeys ..... Oh wait, never mind. I'm saving those for the apocalypse. I'll have to get back to you on December 22nd.
 
Whattawort said:
All I have to do is fart and I'll propel myself out of danger and leave you in a cloud of rainbow dust and skittles. Sucka! And that's just perverted. Really, you not only want to touch my horn, but you want to keep it? Sick bastard.
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While sick bastard is probably accurate you went in the wrong direction. We use missiles to break down the unicorn into manageable chunks. It makes for better efficiency, kinda like milling grain. Rainbow farts just assist the guidance system.
 
Jaehnig said:
If I use two weevils they may asexually reproduce together and I would have four or more weevils. I they reproduce, I may have eight or more and so on. Too many weevils will drain the charge on my fermentation chamber and may transport my wort into the 5th dimension.
Click to expand...

let me get this right.....two weevils are going to asexually reproduce?

why not just 1?

static said:
Your a unicorn? I'd be careful admitting that around here or you'll end up in the brew kettle. No offense but unicorn makes a great dry hop and the horn is a perfect mash paddle. It adds that little bit of magically deliciousness.
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no no that's green clovers and red hearts in blue rainbows and purple horseshoes or something.

HawksBrewer said:
So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his junk. Bartender asks about it and the pirate replies: "arrrr, it's drivin' me nuts."

These are the same pirates that besiege laser toting sharks in 750,000 gallon fermentors, just for the record.
Click to expand...

*sigh* how the efff did you hear about that??????those are not pirates, those idiots are the National Geographic crew and yes they have gone f****** awol.

cost me a fortune in sharks

Leadgolem said:
I see your gnomes, and raise you zombie cyborg ninja monkeys ..... Oh wait, never mind. I'm saving those for the apocalypse. I'll have to get back to you on December 22nd.
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the only reason that there's going to be an apocalypse is because effers like you save their Damned cyborg ninja zed monkeys and don't share them.

static said:
Release the KRAKKKKKKENNNNN!!!!!!!
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now you've done it
 
cheezydemon3 said:
the only reason that there's going to be an apocalypse is because effers like you save their Damned cyborg ninja zed monkeys and don't share them.
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I only have 4,700,623 left. I don't want to waste them.

EDIT: Besides, I thought you had stock in the apocalypse? And the cigarette companies...
 
Leadgolem said:
I only have 4,700,623 left. I don't want to waste them.

EDIT: Besides, I thought you had stock in the apocalypse? And the cigarette companies...
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I have a baker's dozen of the gnomes. They don't die, they just feign death until your back is turned. They run on barleywine which, as we know, will live through a nuclear war.
 
Leadgolem said:
I only have 4,700,623 left. I don't want to waste them.

EDIT: Besides, I thought you had stock in the apocalypse? And the cigarette companies...
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First law of investing: Buy Low Sell High

Second is: Invest with your mind, not with your heart.

do I want Anarchy? NO

With idiots hoarding their valuable monkies, will it happen?? No question.

You 1 percenters (the highest 1% of valuable monkey holders) hold all of the cards. Your Highly trained undead primates breed and infect new monkies at an alarming rate, but your strict non-proliferation practices mean that there are virtually no zed/martial art primates available on the open market.

You virtually guarantee the end of life as we know it and, usher in the apocalypse yourselves....as if you didn't know.......

With your armies of undead banana fiends, You are guaranteed a good shot at ruling over the new world order..........or....are you?


Last time I looked a 1350 lb undead jet pilot polar bear could waste 1.5 million zed monkies per second........(with a functioning F-16, of course..........which I have......)
 
I'll still bet on my gnomes. And I might even sell you one if the price is right. Making the barleywine they run on is getting expensive.
 
I have no monkeys or gnomes. :-( . All i have a single beerfairy and she seems to disappear between batches. I think I'm doomed.
 
grem135 said:
I have no monkeys or gnomes. :-( . All i have a single beerfairy and she seems to disappear between batches. I think I'm doomed.
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Better than beer ninja. Those little buggers are mean! beer fairies are just annoying and get glitter in your beer. The ninjas throw miniature shirukin at your hands.
 
You clearly haven't balanced your fairy/gnome/bear ratios correctly. It's a delicate balance. You let the bear out of the primary didn't you.
 
static said:
You clearly haven't balanced your fairy/gnome/bear ratios correctly. It's a delicate balance. You let the bear out of the primary didn't you.
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He died. Apparently he was allergic to the pecans in my Southern Pecan ale. I'm waiting for him to float to the top. Hate to take him out of the fermenter and miss out on all hair. Best clarifying agent ever. If I can find a miniature whale, he's going in next. I hear baleen works even better.
 
Whattawort said:
He died. Apparently he was allergic to the pecans in my Southern Pecan ale. I'm waiting for him to float to the top. Hate to take him out of the fermenter and miss out on all hair. Best clarifying agent ever. If I can find a miniature whale, he's going in next. I hear baleen works even better.
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SWMBO will never again allow me to ferment in the house with whale. The smell is not even he worst of it...it's all the seabirds it attracts.
 
Hamsterbite said:
SWMBO will never again allow me to ferment in the house with whale. The smell is not teven he worst of it...it's all the seabirds it attracts.
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I knew there was a reason I was keeping that bald eagle around. His name is Waldorf. I was thinking about adopting another one and naming it Statler. SWMBO's cat is afraid of it which suits me fine. Hate that little f'er. I'm just kidding of course. We don't have a cat.
 
835. Edging ever closer to the open/wild fermentation beer.

The Stumbling Bumbling Idiot BIPA is a week and a half in the ferementer. I may have to decide this weekend if it's going to be drinkable on it's own....if so, I'll dry hop. I way overshot the target OG due to the cold steeping fiasco (It was 1.080) so it may need more time anyway. If it's still super roasty, I will save it to blend with another beer.

I think I have learned my lesson...no more dares for me after 1000 posts. I don't have it in me to try to top a wild ferment. I'll gladly pass that baton.
 
Do you think beer will ever become intelligent enough to revolt against us? Then it will start brewing with us as ingredients. Then one beer will probably get the idea to start a forum about it. Then there'll probably be a bunch of beer posting the questions "Did I ruin my human brew?" "Can I add fruit to my human brew kit?" "Should I secondary my human?"
I'm sure one of them will start a thread saying he's an idiot. That's where things probably start to go down hill. Of course all this can be avoided if you keep a good balance of beer fairies and miniature whales in your beer.
 
WesleyS said:
Do you think beer will ever become intelligent enough to revolt against us? Then it will start brewing with us as ingredients. Then one beer will probably get the idea to start a forum about it. Then there'll probably be a bunch of beer posting the questions "Did I ruin my human brew?" "Can I add fruit to my human brew kit?" "Should I secondary my human?"
I'm sure one of them will start a thread saying he's an idiot. That's where things probably start to go down hill. Of course all this can be avoided if you keep a good balance of beer fairies and miniature whales in your beer.
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Quantum theory all but guarantees that has already happened elsewhere in the universe.
 
Hamsterbite said:
Quantum theory all but guarantees that has already happened elsewhere in the universe.
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My mind is officially blown!
 

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