The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Jacoby is basically Rickey Henderson Jr, ain't he? I'm just waiting for him to start referring to himself in the third person.

That would be tremendous.

"Jacoby is feeling good at the plate and helping the team won. Jacoby just hopes Jacoby and keep it up"

"Jacoby disagrees. Jacoby thinks PTN was just having a bad day, Jacoby thinks PTN is definitely NOT a schmuck."

"Jacoby would bet his MVP trophy that Cape schtups the Cocker Spaniel from next door."

Do i have to start quoting your previous expert baseball commentary?

Shouldn't we be talking about A-Rod's pretending to be Matt Damon in "Rounders"?

Look at this picture and tell me it doesn't demand mockery!

A-who?

I think he looks a lot like Cape in that picture.

Another Masshole checking in. It is nice to see that the art of being a masshole is not been lost to the Tipper Gore wannabees.

Tipper Gore wannabe? Who wants to be a fat, bleached blond evangelical hausfrau, married to a charlatan. Plus, isn't she dead? Or is it Al who died, I can never remember.

Hot chicks in short skirts. Who said there no upside to stop and go traffic?

A belated Happy Birthday to Ginger Baker.

Happy one day early Birthday wishes out to John Lee Hooker.

Even dead he plays a wicked ax.

Happy birthday to Wilt Chamberlain. Hopin' that you're getting #10,001 in heaven, big fella!

Yaz is 72 today! Holy sheet!

Happy birthday, Shelley Long!



....

Is it 4:00 yet? I am so done with work. Got a couple more meetings, then heading out to catch up with the family at the MIL's new place, on Keuka Lake. Walking distance to Dr. Frank's. Been busting my ass for the past 10 days, they went ahead without me so I could gut the living room and our bedroom. And now, I'm ****ing tired and I'm ****ing thirsty!

EDIT: Joe ****ing Andruzzi! Happy birthday, big guy!

From Boston.com:


"At approximately 1:51 PM this afternoon a small shockwave from the 5.9 magnitude earthquake that hit Virginia rumbled through the Boston area. The temblor was minor, however, it was large enough to cause PTN's man-boobs to begin vibrating at the exact correct frequency, causing them to begin to smack together, effectively magnifying the initial shockwave and causing several seconds of shaking throughout Massachusetts"

That's all true. It is on the interwebs

My wife said her building shook about 10 times

The US Geological Society has formally requested that PTN strap those puppies down going forward so there is a decreased risk to the nuclear power plant down in Plymouth

DakotaRules said:

My wife said her building shook about 10 times

Click to expand...

I'm betting its the first time her world has been rocked since she took up with you.

"Oh, so THATS what they feel like."

I didn't feel nothing.

That's what Mrs Dakota say's all the time.

"That's it!! The season is over!! The Sox are terrible! Wahhhh wahhh wah!!"

Oh... And I understabd you out on your bike but if you ever show up at my place again in full spandex, we're gonna have an issue. What kind of grease did you use with the tire iron to get that shlt off??

I'm still waking up from nightmares in the middle of the night screaming, "marshmellows!!!!"

(shivering)

I think the more proper image is a jar of mayo in a plastic bag....

Jiggity Jiggity Jiggity Jiggity Booom.

F'ing Sox insist on making this interesting. C'mon guys, let's wrap it up and let the JV guys play while the varsity rests.

We've been shirking our duties as Massholes by laying off that sub human piece of garbage, Manny Ramirez. Apparently Manny figures it's okay to slap the wife around. It's just Manny being Manny, right? The guy is a disgrace to the game and a disgrace to men.

If ANY members of the BWA EVER vote for that piece of sheet they should have their vote taken away.

Agreed, this is just one more nail in the coffin for Manny -> HOF...

On a happier note, mega golf claps to Wake for finally getting to 200. And that win couldn't have come at a better time (thanks, B'more!)

Cheers!

True dat. I suppose in the interest of good sportsmanship we should give a shout out to Mariano Rivera as well. Impressive milestones for both.

(I'll admit to having a soft spot in my heart for him since Opening Day, 2005, when he took the standing ovation he got at Fenway with grace and a laugh.)

WTF is wrong with Bard? He's pitching like a bard of the 1500s.

Will he deliver us to the winter of our discontent?

Better still, "A horse, a horse. My kingdom for a horse!"

Bruins re-sign Marchand to a two year deal. Wicked pissah!

paulthenurse said:

Bruins re-sign Marchand to a two year deal. Wicked pissah!

Click to expand...

Well I didn't figure the Sox signed him.

Oh ya,

You're a Masstoberfest natural.

PTN

Really Red Sox, Really?

Ok.... NOW Paul can start freaking out and crying over the Sox

Now, if they'd just gone 4-8 in those first twelve games instead of 2-10, we'd be all set....

Sox look like toast even if they squeek in.

Funk all you massholes. I got my PHD is asshology. Ask my wife , she sicks me on anyone or company that she doesn't want to be nice to. Just found out kid #2 is due the day before her birthday. I said " hey, hun I already got you covered for your bday this year" and " it is the most expensive thing I ever gave you".


I mean what is she gonna do? Hold out on me for 6-8 weeks.