I am an idiot

Rondacker · Sep 14, 2012

That " industry expert" made a big mistake. He didn't steep the turtle long enough. You can clearly see him climbing out of the brew. Sheesh.

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

menerdari said:
this thread will fade into obscurity in a relatively short time,

What do you consider a relatively short? Like little brother or sister short, or great great grandma short?

menerdari · Sep 14, 2012

Hamsterbite said:
What do you consider a relatively short? Like little brother or sister short, or great great grandma short?

Rondacker · Sep 14, 2012

Or Uncle Shorty short?

menerdari · Sep 14, 2012

I honestly thought the chances of this thread lasting more than an hour was as rare as hair on a pear.

brewingmeister · Sep 14, 2012

Depends on the pear I guess.

Jaehnig · Sep 14, 2012

I have very hairy pears, thank you very much!

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

Hairy pears make the best fruit addition in a waxed turtle pale ale.

kh54s10 · Sep 14, 2012

WesleyS said:
Hairy pears make the best fruit addition in a waxed turtle pale ale.

Especially if you dry hop with Crocs.

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

kh54s10 said:
Especially if you dry hop with Crocs.

Well that goes without saying. I always dry croc my hairy fruit beers.

Jaehnig · Sep 14, 2012

I like to sprinkle a little tinfoil on top as well. But only the rainbow monkey.

Rondacker · Sep 14, 2012

WesleyS said:
Hairy pears make the best fruit addition in a waxed turtle pale ale.

Should they be shaved, or added as picked?

kh54s10 · Sep 14, 2012

Rondacker said:
Should they be shaved, or added as picked?

If you are talking about the hairy pears either way is good. If you are talking about the turtles you should shave their genitalia.

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

Rondacker said:
Should they be shaved, or added as picked?

Depends on your personal preference. No matter what you do, though, pick in the morning and add at 2:45 in the AM. Trust me!

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

kh54s10 said:
If you are talking about the hairy pears either way is good. If you are talking about the turtles you should shave their genitalia.

Hey, hey, hey...this is a family drunken ramble. Let's keep it clean.

Besides, that's only true of Brazillian Turtles.

Rondacker · Sep 14, 2012

Hamsterbite said:
Hey, hey, hey...this is a family drunken ramble. Let's keep it clean.

Besides, that's only true of Brazillian Turtles.

That's where turtle wax comes in?

Jaehnig · Sep 14, 2012

What's the cure if while dry crocing my turtle prefers to dry hump my croc?

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

Jaehnig said:
What's the cure if while dry crocing my turtle prefers to dry hump my croc?

See post #307

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

And for god sakes, stop playing Barry White!

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

Jaehnig said:
What's the cure if while dry crocing my turtle prefers to dry hump my croc?

Is this your turtle?

If so, it happens all the time.

Rondacker · Sep 14, 2012

Rdwhahb

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

Rondacker said:
That's where turtle wax comes in?

That one took a very wide path, but glad to see it come around full circle, and back to it's logical conclusion.

Obliviousbrew · Sep 14, 2012

My wife ran away with my dog my lobster and my turtle luckily turtles don't run very fast at least I will cougth the little fu**er and I least I'll have my revenge

Obliviousbrew · Sep 14, 2012

I got to admit that I'm drunk... my wife just left me. I think the fricking turtle will out run me

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

Obliviousbrew said:
I got to admit that I'm drunk... my wife just left me. I think the fricking turtle will out run me

I feel for you. My lobster ran away with my hairy pears, took all the turtle wax, and shaved my crocs. Nothing to do but drink my sorrows away.

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

You know what they say...it takes a Dog to catch a dog.

And..

And...

Do you really want your wife back though?

Rondacker · Sep 14, 2012

Sounds like a good country song. Or a beer recipe.

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

Rondacker said:
Sounds like a good country song. Or a beer recipe.

Maybe Randy Travis is available?

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

Hamsterbite said:
Maybe Randy Travis is available?

Mention beer. I'm sure he'll be there.

brewingmeister · Sep 14, 2012

I take my wife everywhere but she still finds her way back.

menerdari · Sep 14, 2012

there's a tear in my beer over yooouuu

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

menerdari said:
there's a tear in my beer over yooouuu

I usually cry in my primary. But only on leap years.

Hamsterbite · Sep 14, 2012

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainmen...is-fight-church-parking-lot-injured-hospital/

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

I have a perlick question about adjusting brewing water so I can invest in some equipment and hear some obnoxious football trash talk while back sweetening my coopers microbrewery kit. How do I figure out how much water to add to carbonate in the carboy of southern star bombshell blonde with my glycol beer line chiller that's watering down beer post fermentation on a stuck fermentation producing a lost pet and chilled wort in my house shed garage while preheating my mash tun with blades in my razor.
( see what I did there)

Frodo · Sep 14, 2012

WesleyS said:
I have a perlick question about adjusting brewing water so I can invest in some equipment and hear some obnoxious football trash talk while back sweetening my coopers microbrewery kit. How do I figure out how much water to add to carbonate in the carboy of southern star bombshell blonde with my glycol beer line chiller that's watering down beer post fermentation on a stuck fermentation producing a lost pet and chilled wort in my house shed garage while preheating my mash tun with blades in my razor.
( see what I did there)

add about 1.33 gallons and give it 3 weeks.

kh54s10 · Sep 14, 2012

WesleyS said:
I have a perlick question about adjusting brewing water so I can invest in some equipment and hear some obnoxious football trash talk while back sweetening my coopers microbrewery kit. How do I figure out how much water to add to carbonate in the carboy of southern star bombshell blonde with my glycol beer line chiller that's watering down beer post fermentation on a stuck fermentation producing a lost pet and chilled wort in my house shed garage while preheating my mash tun with blades in my razor.
( see what I did there)

Yes!

b-boy · Sep 14, 2012

Obliviousbrew said:
My wife ran away with my dog my lobster and my turtle luckily turtles don't run very fast at least I will cougth the little fu**er and I least I'll have my revenge

you can't catch a lobster?

brewingmeister · Sep 14, 2012

WesleyS said:
( see what I did there)

No, you sir are an idiot.

Lay off those drugs robbie...and remember the light shines brightly from you.

WesleyS · Sep 14, 2012

brewingmeister said:
No, you sir are an idiot.

Well, that's why I'm posting in this thread. I thought this was where all the idiots posted. An open forum to exchange idiotic ideas and experimental brewing techniques often involving various animals. You know, the things they don't cover in the brewing books and teach you in brewing school.

Jaehnig · Sep 14, 2012

WesleyS said:
Is this your turtle?

If so, it happens all the time.

How did you get that? Dam turtle is selling itself online to make paint.

I am an idiot

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