Funny things you've overheard about beer

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Onihige said:
Not exactly beer related, but close enough I suppose.

I was returning a bottle of mead that I had gotten as a gift. I had saved the bottle for a while, but when I started to hear bad reviews and even worse - the meadery had gone public with that it had been a failed batched, I tried it.

It had fermented in the bottle, which was potentially dangerous, and it tasted sour. So I headed to the store, explained that there was a co2 build up in the bottle and etc.

"Mead all meads are fizzy." - Corrected him, and later walked home with money back for the mead AND extra for the trips, which was more than the mead itself. Naturally, I bought some honey and yeast on my way home instead.

Moral of the story: make your own presents!

Heard a bunch of other stupid stuff about mead too. This one is a personal favorite: "No, thanks. I don't want to try mead, I'm worried people will think I'm a racist."
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Racist? What...they think you hate people from the middle ages?
 
There is a local bar/restaurant "REDS" and their slogan is "no crap on tap", so no BMC in the building! I love sitting at the bar and having "Billy Bob" order a bud light or a silver bullet and being told that they don't have that. A few months ago Iowa got Stone in the state so it was on special..

.Billy-"Give me a MGD"
Waitress-"sorry we don't serve that...the beer menu is on the table...or our specials are on the chalk boards"
Billy-"what's with the Stone thing?"
Waitress-"oh their a great brewery from North County San Diego, we just started serving them, would you like to try one?
Billy-" what's like MGD?"
Waitress-"umm...maybe their pale ale but it's has more hop flavor and more body". (actually my salad had more hop flavor and body than MGD)
Billy-"nah...give me an arrogant bastard that sounds like my kind of beer"
Waitress (quoting the label...)" I don't think you will like it..."
Billy-(getting a bit annoyed with her trying to help)" just bring me the beer"
Waitress-" normal or Oaked?"
Billy-"Jesus! Just being me a damn beer!"
Waitress-" ok ill be right back"

Billy (with a pint of AB in front of him)" man that's dark beer" (takes a big swig) "oh that's awful!"

I encourage him to take his time...let it warm up a bit...by the end of the glass he started actually being able to taste what beer is supposed to be like!

I gave the waitress a big tip...she was the greatest. Easy on the eyes also....I think she is an economy major.
 
DoubleAught said:
I had a neighbor once that used to plant her flowers in a 2 piece bikini. All the guys in the neighborhood would almost simultaneously came out with a beer to sit on their front porch. I'm not convinced she knew what she was doing, but was sure her husband did with all the evil looks he gave us :)
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Nice, Id drink a beer to that.
 
From Women's Health Magazine about Guiness and other light beers.

image-2975558719.jpg
 
That's actually far less misinformation about Guinness than I usually hear. It's as low in calories as many "light" beers...
 
Isn't mgd 64 the lowest Cal beer so Guinness at 125 is about double. Just kind of off since when most people think of low Cal beers they don't often jump ti the lowest.
 
"You can't brew beer if you have a septic tank. The yeast will ferment everything in there & create poisonous gas" another gem from an old coworker.
 
Reminds me of the time when the city & some cops showed up at the storm drain where my septic line runs out to. The caker is at that point as well. I guess someone smelled something "off". I explained to them that I flush my used yeast,starsan,& pbw into the toilet. They said that was it! I then proceeded to explain to them that starsan is a food grade sanitizer,likewise with PBW as a food grade brewery wash. Not to mention the yeast would eat the shizz in the caker & clear it out a little. Not a word since then. But I'm the only smoker near the openning,& I know better than to pull the Christmas Vacation scene!...;)
 
Billy-Klubb said:
"You can't brew beer if you have a septic tank. The yeast will ferment everything in there & create poisonous gas" another gem from an old coworker.
Click to expand...

I once gave a couple of homebrews to a coworker, it was he who created the poisonous gas... not the septic system. But I can see where someone might want to BLAME the septic tank for the gas. :)
 
Vellum said:
Isn't mgd 64 the lowest Cal beer so Guinness at 125 is about double. Just kind of off since when most people think of low Cal beers they don't often jump ti the lowest.
Click to expand...

And MGD 64 is like 2.6% ABV or something like that so you have to drink 2 anyway.

If you want to get drunk on a budget, drink everclear.
 
bergen69 said:
Racist? What...they think you hate people from the middle ages?
Click to expand...

I think there are WP people that drink thinking it makes them a Viking or something
 
bergen69 said:
There is a local bar/restaurant "REDS" and their slogan is "no crap on tap", so no BMC in the building! I love sitting at the bar and having "Billy Bob" order a bud light or a silver bullet and being told that they don't have that. A few months ago Iowa got Stone in the state so it was on special..

.Billy-"Give me a MGD"
Waitress-"sorry we don't serve that...the beer menu is on the table...or our specials are on the chalk boards"
Billy-"what's with the Stone thing?"
Waitress-"oh their a great brewery from North County San Diego, we just started serving them, would you like to try one?
Billy-" what's like MGD?"
Waitress-"umm...maybe their pale ale but it's has more hop flavor and more body". (actually my salad had more hop flavor and body than MGD)
Billy-"nah...give me an arrogant bastard that sounds like my kind of beer"
Waitress (quoting the label...)" I don't think you will like it..."
Billy-(getting a bit annoyed with her trying to help)" just bring me the beer"
Waitress-" normal or Oaked?"
Billy-"Jesus! Just being me a damn beer!"
Waitress-" ok ill be right back"

Billy (with a pint of AB in front of him)" man that's dark beer" (takes a big swig) "oh that's awful!"

I encourage him to take his time...let it warm up a bit...by the end of the glass he started actually being able to taste what beer is supposed to be like!

I gave the waitress a big tip...she was the greatest. Easy on the eyes also....I think she is an economy major.
Click to expand...

I think arrogant bastard is on par with an overhopped colostomy bag. And warm, it is especially heinous. So I can see how one would find it especially appalling. It is nice that she tried to steer him away from it.
 
unionrdr said:
Reminds me of the time when the city & some cops showed up at the storm drain where my septic line runs out to. The caker is at that point as well. I guess someone smelled something "off". I explained to them that I flush my used yeast,starsan,& pbw into the toilet. They said that was it! I then proceeded to explain to them that starsan is a food grade sanitizer,likewise with PBW as a food grade brewery wash. Not to mention the yeast would eat the shizz in the caker & clear it out a little. Not a word since then. But I'm the only smoker near the openning,& I know better than to pull the Christmas Vacation scene!...;)
Click to expand...

"Morning Clark, ****ters full. "
 
Ryush806 said:
Off topic... Is that any good? I've been seeing it around recently (oddly enough for this part of the country) but haven't bought any yet.
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I haven't had the guts to drop $35 on a single bottle yet.
 
Skeptidelphian said:
I haven't had the guts to drop $35 on a single bottle yet.
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I'm not a big mead fan, and someone shared some with me at a HBC meeting and I thought it was really good
 
Imagine my SWMBO's surprise when she found out I bought a $25 bottle of Brooklyn brewery's - Black Ops
 
:off:

damn it, people! funny things, not depressing beer/wine/mead prices!

"The way Guinness was first made was the guy fell asleep while brewing it & it burned." I've heard that from many different people in different states. far away from each other.
 
Billy-Klubb said:
:off:

damn it, people! funny things, not depressing beer/wine/mead prices!

"The way Guinness was first made was the guy fell asleep while brewing it & it burned." I've heard that from many different people in different states. far away from each other.
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When I first read this post I thought the guy burned
 
Another good one from the other day:

"I don't like lagers, they're too dark".

Uhhhhhhh.....sure. That makes sense.
 
Speaking of Geissuns I had a few people tell me that the strange taste of was caused by rats dying in the fermentation in early days and now they brew it with raw steak to get that original taste. No matter how dumb that is people still believe it.
 
JoeyChopps said:
Speaking of Geissuns I had a few people tell me that the strange taste of was caused by rats dying in the fermentation in early days and now they brew it with raw steak to get that original taste. No matter how dumb that is people still believe it.
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That Edmonds me of the "cock ale" I read about in TCJOHB. Has anyone ever brew that?
 
A guy at WholeFoods told me New Glarus doesn't distribute to Illinois because they don't like Illinois. Yeah.... That's gotta be it. That and the other 49 states they don't distribute to.
 
Mojzis said:
Another good one from the other day:

"I don't like lagers, they're too dark".

Uhhhhhhh.....sure. That makes sense.
Click to expand...

My niece this Thanksgiving: "I like dark beers.......I drink Yuengling"

I suppose compared to the Miller Lite she usually drinks, she might consider Yuengling "dark", but.......................
 
A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.
 
Araknaphob1c said:
A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.
Click to expand...

I would have walked out.
 
Araknaphob1c said:
A little off topic, it isn't so funny as much as frustrating. I was at a place in Austin called Red's Porch and I was trying to ask what seasonals they had on tap then the waiter cut me off mid sentence and asked "Light, Dark, or hoppy?" I was a bit frustrated by this because he completely ignored my question and treated me as though I had no idea what I was looking for.
Click to expand...

So is the hoppy dark or light? Lol
 
My favorite line regarding beer was on The Blue Collar comedy channel on Sirius

When someone asks me "what is your favorite beer", I usually reply "my ninth". That's when I suddenly have the ability to dance and sing.
 

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