so the wife made a joke yesterday.

I was getting everything ready to bottle yesterday. I asked my wife if she wanted to taste the porter Im working on. She said no, then asked me if for my next batch, could I make something lighter. So I asked, "how light would you like it". She said, like coors light!!! I told her she's funny, then I said,"tell you what, go get a glass, ill piss in it, put it in the fridge to cool, and there you go, coors light!" She didn't think I was very funny.

Well, yeah, because it wouldn't be carbonated!

hercher said:

Well, yeah, because it wouldn't be carbonated!

Click to expand...

And it would have WAY more flavor!

I think cream ale is what you are looking for.

Funny you should mention cream ale, I was thinking that myself.

i've converted several bmc'ers with edwort's cream ale. good stuff. making more this weekend

Wow, no one's ever compared American light lagers to urine before. How ingenious.

PseudoChef said:

Wow, no one's ever compared American light lagers to urine before. How ingenious.

Click to expand...

Do I smell sarcasm from the chef? .........now THAT'S ingenious! Lol. Now wait, what if he's for real?

Funny joke, but I'd take her up on the challenge and see how light I could get a lager for her to enjoy.

KaiserBierMann said:

Funny joke, but I'd take her up on the challenge and see how light I could get a lager for her to enjoy.

Click to expand...

I agree, because you would still have beer. You may have to make a couple failed attempts(ones you want to try) before getting it right.

Ok,ok. Any recipes, or ideas what to try. I just don't enjoy beers like that anymore. Not enough body or flavor. But ill try one to keep swmbo happy.

Not a real lager but there's this. I'm planning on brewing this in the next few weeks: https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f62/fizzy-yellow-beer-120939/

Do you have lagering capabilities? How about the Classic American Pils (Jamil) from a recent BYO:


RECIPE

Classic American Pilsner
(5 gallons/19 L, all-grain)
OG = 1.060 (14.7 °P)
FG = 1.014 (3.6 °P)
IBU = 35 SRM = 4 ABV = 6%

Ingredients
4.4 lb. (2 kg) Great Western domestic two-row malt (2 °L)
4.4 lb. (2 kg) Best Malz continental Pilsner malt (2 °L)
3.3 lb. (1.5 kg) Briess flaked corn (1 °L)
6.5 AAU Czech Saaz hops
(1.87 oz./53 g at 3.5% alpha acids) (60 min.)
3.5 AAU Czech Saaz hops
(1 oz./28 g of 3.5% alpha acids) (15 min.)
3.5 AAU Czech Saaz hops
(1 oz./28 g of 3.5% alpha acids) (0 min.)
White Labs WLP800 (Pilsner Lager) or Wyeast 2001 (Urquell) yeast

Step by Step
Mill the grains and dough-in targeting a mash of around 1.5 quarts of water to 1 pound of grain (a liquor-to-grist ratio of about 3:1 by weight) and a temperature of 149 °F (65 °C). Hold the mash at 149 °F (65 °C) until enzymatic conversion is complete. You might want to extend your mash time, due to the lower mash temperature and the need to convert the corn. Infuse the mash with near boiling water while stirring or with a recirculating mash system raise the temperature to mash out at 168 °F (76 °C). Sparge slowly with 170 °F (77 °C) water, collecting wort until the pre-boil kettle volume is around 6.5 gallons (24.4 L) and the gravity is 1.046 (11.5 °P).


The total boil time will be 90 minutes. Add the bittering hops 30 minutes after the wort starts boiling. Add Irish moss or other kettle finings and the second hop addition with 15 minutes left in the boil. Add the last hop addition just before shutting off the burner. Chill the wort rapidly to 50 °F (10 °C), let the break material
settle, rack to the fermenter, pitch the yeast and aerate thoroughly.


You will need to pitch 4 packages of fresh yeast or make a large starter to have enough yeast to best ferment this beer. You might consider first brewing a small batch of lower gravity Munich helles or something similar to grow up the yeast you need. Once you have pitched enough clean, healthy yeast, ferment at
50 °F (10 °C).


When fermentation is finished, carbonate the beer to approximately 2.5 volumes.

How about this:

Recipe: Zac's Euro-American Premium Lager

Recipe Specifications
--------------------------
Boil Size: 6.22 gal
Post Boil Volume: 5.72 gal
Batch Size (fermenter): 5.50 gal
Bottling Volume: 5.50 gal
Estimated OG: 1.050 SG
Estimated Color: 4.2 SRM
Estimated IBU: 22.8 IBUs
Brewhouse Efficiency: 72.00 %
Est Mash Efficiency: 72.0 %
Boil Time: 60 Minutes

Ingredients:
------------
Amt Name Type # %/IBU
8 lbs 12.1 oz Pilsner (2 Row) Ger (2.0 SRM) Grain 1 85.4 %
1 lbs Pale Malt (2 Row) US (2.0 SRM) Grain 2 9.8 %
4.0 oz Cara-Pils/Dextrine (2.0 SRM) Grain 3 2.4 %
4.0 oz Melanoiden Malt (20.0 SRM) Grain 4 2.4 %
0.32 oz Perle [8.00 %] - Boil 60.0 min Hop 5 9.3 IBUs
0.75 oz Tettnang [4.50 %] - Boil 20.0 min Hop 6 7.4 IBUs
0.52 Items Whirlfloc Tablet (Boil 15.0 mins) Fining 7 -
0.75 oz Tettnang [4.50 %] - Boil 10.0 min Hop 8 4.4 IBUs
0.50 oz Tettnang [4.50 %] - Boil 5.0 min Hop 9 1.6 IBUs
1.0 pkg American Lager (Wyeast Labs #2035) [124. Yeast 10 -

This is a modified BeerSmith recipe, so I can't take credit for it. I'm about ready to bottle it, probably on Sunday, after 4 weeks lagering. The outside temperature is going to get too warm to continue lagering, and 4 weeks should be good.

My wife loves the samples she's had. She keeps saying "it's soooo light!"

Here's credit where due:

BeerSmith 2 Recipe Printout - http://www.beersmith.com
Recipe: Zac's Euro-American Premium Lager
Brewer: BIABrewer.info
Asst Brewer: Designed by Neville Ash
Style: Premium American Lager
TYPE: All Grain
Taste: (45.0) Mash at 63 C or 145 F. If unable to ferment at 9 or 10 C consider using Wyeast California 2112 at 14 C or 57 F and rest at 18 C or 64 F. This is a fresh, easy-drinking lager with spicy flavour and aroma. The melanoidin gives maltiness to the nose. If bottling, keep some bottles aside and taste every 3 months. Some quite amazing changes can be experienced after lagering this beer at 2 C over long periods. Source: Neville Ash