The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Hey, fellow massholes. I looked at a place up in Salem, NH, and I might not be a MH for much longer after living here almost 30 years. Kinda sad, but this state government sucks. Had enough, plus a shorter commute, and far better gun laws, lol. I know you all hate me now. Cheers !
 
Hey, fellow massholes. I looked at a place up in Salem, NH, and I might not be a MH for much longer after living here almost 30 years. Kinda sad, but this state government sucks. Had enough, plus a shorter commute, and far better gun laws, lol. I know you all hate me now. Cheers !

I hate you. Because I'm jealous.:mug:

Waiting for the day I can return to the Live Free Or Die state too. Just a few years off. And you forgot to mention the goblam fireworks!!!

Libertarian minded conservatives are flooding the state after a decade or two of libbies bringing their doo doo north.

Check this out:

http://blog.libertyclips.com/liberty-republicans-come-up-big-in-new-hampshire/


Oh and I went back home to your stomping grounds last weekend. Your area has their stuff together! I saw a "countdown to the end of the Obama-nation" sign on one business, and a "O-M-G!! (Obama must go!)" sign on another. Cracked me up.
 
Well, a long summer's worth of training is about to pay off. I have been busting my butt since March, sweating, pushing, going that extra little bit. This Sunday is the payoff. This will be the first competitive event I've entered in twenty years.

The Fat Guy Triathlon.

"Drink a six pack of beer. Eat a dozen donuts. Golf 18 holes. Nap for the rest of the afternoon."

Sure, it's Sharon, not Kona, but if I keep up the training at the pace I've been at it this year I'll easily qualify for the Big Island next year, the year after at the latest. Those Samoans will be spitting out their poi at the sound of my name.

It's a toss up for which is my best event. The six pack is my passion but I'm a natural on the donuts. I expect to be amongst the leaders in my age group in both categories. The golf, however, is pure work for me. I don't have a smooth swing, my drives run out of gas within yards and my short game comes up short.

I just finished a 'brick.'. A brick is a training term for when you practice linking two events together. I did a nice, easy half dozen Boston Creme then eased into my Transition Zone. I changed out of my sandals, put on my cleats and played a nice par three "Executive Course." I had hopes of breaking par for the first time in my life when I drove six inches from the cup on the fifth hole but I got a case of the yips and bogeyed the hole. I sincerely hope to do better on Sunday.

Sitting on the deck now, icing my knees, enjoying a 'non-training' beer. My coach recommends chocolate milk after a training session. I'm compromising with a chocolate porter. He'll probably tell me I'm over training on my strong suit but F him. I'm the one sitting on my deck wearing spandex bibbed shorts, no shirt and sweating buckets, enduring the horn blasts and the middle finger salutes from my neighbors. I DESERVE this beer!

Anyways, wish me luck on Sunday.

PTN
 
Good luck Paulie! You've been working hard and I wish you the best.

I'm about the close on my house and when I do well have a party!
 
paulthenurse said:
It is a nice bike... But fark you, I ain't gonna keel over dead. Only in your dreams.

Hey Mikey, you gonna have donuts at that pah-tay?

For you, I'll get Kane's! Best donuts in town.
 
F the donuts. The beer is all that counts. Are you willing to spring for the Duchesss? I mean, seriously? , How many houses are you going to buy? Step up, Lad. The Duchess!


(FWIW, I saw a pic of the REAL Duchess at the equestrian events at the Olympics. The future Queen has a totally hot arse. As an Irishman I feel the need to acknowledge a hot arse for what it is. That princess has a totally hot arse.... God Save The Queen's arse.)
 
After Paulie leaves, the floors get refinished, my wife and I go on a cruise while all this happens. And because Paul was there well have to call in a plumber and pest control. Masstoberfest west,
Huh, not a bad idea.

Oh ya that's a horrible idea. Well see.
 
What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?

551013_422385511136278_421580479_n.jpg
 
DakotaRules said:
Did what? Do we want to know?

Fulfilled both my goals.

1. Finish

2. Don't be last.

Sure, I may have had to hip check the 70 year old grandmother into the bushes when the ***** tried to pass me during the last little bit before rounding the final corner and coming into full view of the crowd but since no one saw it, it didn't happen.

Or at least that's the story I'm going with.


Since she did manage to crawl the final couple hundred yard with her broken hip I joined in the applause. She showed how you gotta be an incredibly disciplined athlete to finish a triathlon.

Tell me about it!
 
Bwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahha!!!!!!!


I just looked up the results Paulie!!! I thought you were effin kidding about the 70 yr old woman!!!


That's awesome!!

Hey, that's still better than I woulda done but that still funny as all fark!!!
 
Bwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahha!!!!!!!


I just looked up the results Paulie!!! I thought you were effin kidding about the 70 yr old woman!!!


That's awesome!!

Hey, that's still better than I woulda done but that still funny as all fark!!!

Fark that old lady.


Sure, I came in 497th out of 503 competitors. Not exactly a Micheal Phelps moment. What did you do yesterday? Watch the Olympic's closing ceremony on TV?


Tell you what... "Hyannis 2" in Centerville is September 8th. Or Buzzards Bay is September 16th. Put your money where your mouth is. $500 for the charity of the winners choice.
 
LOL!!! You want me to train for and complete a triathlon in a month!? LOL. Are you high? I've never run more than about two miles in my entire life. You have been training on your bike (the longest part of these things) for over a year!!!

There is an old saying that comes to mind and I think it has some applicability here... "It's better to let people think you're an idiot than to open your mouth and confirm their suspicions."

I would MUCH rather have people think I am horribly out of shape than try a triathlon on a month of training and confirm their suspicions.
 
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