You know you're a home brewer when?

geckler said:

Whenever you see a cooler you think of mashtuns

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All the time

Woke up from a dream where I was talking with Justin Crossley about not going on so much about golf during The Sunday Session on the BN.

I first asked him if he saw Bubba win the Masters. It was a polite conversation.

When your 4 year old knows the brew process and gets excited to check on the beer with you.

amberbrooks said:

When your 4 year old knows the brew process and gets excited to check on the beer with you.

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+1 When your 3 year old stand nexts to the kettle and wants to toss in the next hop addition.

When you are standing in a checkout line and hear someone talking about "gravity checks" ... your ears perk up only to discover they are talking about kids throwing things on the floor over and over.

elaeace said:

When you know your batch is fermenting but you keep looking at the airlock bubbling because it makes you happy!

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Yes! I'm amazed at how happy that makes me. My kids will no longer come down to see though. They are completely bored

When you wach the yeast swirl around the carboy and smile

When talk of the gradual conversion to fluorescent light bulbs throws you in such a panic that you hit every store across town to stockpile on incandescent bulbs just to be sure you'll have safe brewing light for the next 100 years or so.

When you wonder how your washing machine would work as a 20 gallon MLT and if you could stick a sparge in that giant collander of a wash drum.

When you are trying to sell your house and part of you thinks it would be better to hold off, because what are you going to do with that Imperial Stout in the fermentation chamber when you have to move your ****!?

When your SWMBO has used yeast with the brand name "Fermentis" in the bread machine.

When you're happy to give all your friends beer, but if they forget to return the bottles, they are no longer your friends

When the waiter at the BYOB takes your empty homebrew bottle and its takes your whole force of will not to interrupt polite conversation to demand your bottle back...

When your buddy shows up to BYOB restaurant with commercial beer and you wonder, "didn't he read the sign?"

Your boss catches you pulling bottles out of the office garbage and wonders if you are getting paid enough... then when you explain he offers to trade you empties for full bottles of homebrew at a 1:1 ratio :cross:

When flocculation stops sounding dirty

Lucky_Chicken said:

When you are staring off into space and your wife says "hey, your thinking about brewing aren't you?" then shakes her head and walks away because you were and couldnt come up with a no answer quick enough

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This is where you say "oh I was simply thinking about how gorgeous you are, and was wondering if you'd like me to make you up a special batch of (whatever you want to brew) to show my appreciation"

When you can tell who's been drinking on this forum, and who was sober bob. Me for instance, was sober Jim! Well, I guess I still am. But anyway, enough of that, next!

the moment when you start going outside the laws of fundamental physics, and reap reward for the troubles involved.. such as only drinking half a beer, to top the rest up with another kind. Yes, this was and is rewarding, for me anyway! Included both coz I can't remember if I've finished it yet or not

The moment when you make a homebrew beer slush puppy..

Someone mentions how many weeks are left in school and you think if you can make a batch of Apelfwein in time for the graduation

when you have a permanent saltwater cooling bath in your freezer

DryHoppinMad said:

When talk of the gradual conversion to fluorescent light bulbs throws you in such a panic that you hit every store across town to stockpile on incandescent bulbs just to be sure you'll have safe brewing light for the next 100 years or so.

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Confused. What does this have to do with brewing?

Special Hops said:

Confused. What does this have to do with brewing?

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to keep a heated fermentation chamber. I think?

Fluorescent light skunks beer.

bniesen said:

to keep a heated fermentation chamber. I think?

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That could be it. But I just didn't think of it. In the south it's hard to have a reason to warm the fermentation chamber.

tennesseean_87 said:

Fluorescent light skunks beer.

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I thought all light skunks beer. Maybe fluorescent more then others?

When you realize you will be at least a case short of empty bottles needed for a planned bottling session on the weekend, and resolve to just drink more this week.

bigcorona said:

when you realize you will be at least a case short of empty bottles needed for a planned bottling session on the weekend, and resolve to just drink more this week.

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+1

... you realize that you can clean everything in the house, and make it look like new, with the same chemical agents used for your brewing grear.

... you get yelled at by the neighborhood gardeners association for attempting to rent community garden space, which sole purpose is to grow hops.

When you stall the waiter on ordering your dinner because you want to make sure your beer is gone first. Food may kill the flavor of the beer.

When you stage your evening of IPA drinking so that you have the one you havent tried before, first. You need to make sure you are smelling and tasting on a fresh palate to give it the fairest review.

When you know you'll get fat if you drink beer and eat food around the same time (your body will prioritize the beer and store the food as fat) so you eat a 100 calorie salad, wait an hour... Then drink!

When the above plan fails and you're getting fat anyway.

When you put your home brew in the back of the fridge for fear that someone will hit the bottle and rustle up the yeast.

When you yell at your wife for putting your beer on the door of the fridge for the very same reason.

When you come home from a long day of work to find the beer you were about to enjoy on its side in the fridge and you instantly give said roommate or wife an earful and a lesson on why they can't do that.

When you just realized you told your wife exactly how to get you to drink less in the evening.

wSelwyn said:

... you get yelled at by the neighborhood gardeners association for attempting to rent community garden space, which sole purpose is to grow hops.

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lame. The getting yelled at part. It's not like you are growing pot.

When you give your yeast starter a pep talk like they're going to play in the superbowl!

When you have 3 fridges and 2 are beer only

karljrberno said:

When you have 3 fridges and 2 are beer only

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Yes! And you are getting a 4th...

Bigcorona said:

When you realize you will be at least a case short of empty bottles needed for a planned bottling session on the weekend, and resolve to just drink more this week.

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This used to be my problem, but now it's the other way around...

You know you're a home brewer when you have enough boxes of empty bottles to stack a full pallet!

I finally scored a couple corny kegs last week. All I need is a fridge now. When I start kegging I'll be donating some of my 500+ bottles

When you ask a local microbrewery if you could spend your vacation helping them brew for free.

turvis said:

When you ask a local microbrewery if you could spend your vacation helping them brew for free.

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Nice first post! I picture you working at a brewery with a bunch of people, and they don't even realize nobody hired you. Then somebody tells the boss and he says "we've fired him twice, but he keeps showing up everyday".... haha

When people find it amazing that when you taste beer and we (as in homebrewers) can pick out all different types of flavor. While the non brewers just taste beer.

Special Hops said:

Confused. What does this have to do with brewing?

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I wrote this to mean that fluorescent light skunks the beer, but a heated fermentation is not a bad idea either:rockin:

When you always read threads and everyone argues about how to this or that. You sit there and laugh while sipping on a brew.

You get in bed at 11:00, and stay up until 11:50 looking through HBT at everyone's brew sculptures... Just smiling. Thinking of what you can add to yours to make everything more efficient.

The only thing you talk about at the bar is about beer, breweries, and your next batch(s).

When in your sleepy morning tiredness you hit the snooze button and imagine you are a decocted grain bed heading back into the main mash for a sacc rest.

wSelwyn said:

The only thing you talk about at the bar is about beer, breweries, and your next batch(s).

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Yes! The other night we went out with friends and the first questions out of everyone's mouth was 'What's fermenting?' (Cherry Stout) 'Are your labels done yet?' (Nope, been sick and haven't been able take the artwork I want to use someplace with a big enough scanner to do the job)... 'Are you sharing any homebrew at your party next weekend?' (Yes, but hubby pointed out to me later we'd be hiding half of it for our own enjoyment this summer)...'What are you brewing next?' (A Dubbel)... 'Have you kegged yet?' (Also nope, still don't have a tank or pressure gauge) etc. etc. etc.

When you're beating eggs with a fork in a plastic bowl, and avoids scratching the sides so your omelet doesn't get infected.

Stauffbier said:

Nice first post! I picture you working at a brewery with a bunch of people, and they don't even realize nobody hired you. Then somebody tells the boss and he says "we've fired him twice, but he keeps showing up everyday".... haha

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Its hard to fire some one who isn't on the pay roll lol. Was waiting for a wity reply for my first post.