You know you're a home brewer when?

Vigo_Carpathian said:

When using a new water filter, you first perform a vorlauf.

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Oh, that's that new hippy bread at the walmart. Don't want any of that multiplegrained stuff. Yuck.

Felixio said:

Several ingredients cannot be used, for instance certain flavorings and finings are not considered kosher. So those and any equipment that has come in contact with them cannot be used in the making of a kosher wine/beer.

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meat and dairy must be kept separate also, so no Bratwurst Milk Stout

whitehause said:

meat and dairy must be kept separate also, so no Bratwurst Milk Stout

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Is the lactose derived from milk products or is made another way?

You know you're a homebrewer when you hear/read "EKG" and you don't think electrocardiograph. You think East Kent Goldings.

luke_d said:

You know you're a homebrewer when you hear/read "EKG" and you don't think electrocardiograph. You think East Kent Goldings.

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You know you've spent too much time working in a hospital when you know they mean hops and still think electro cardio gram

cluckk said:

So for example, Isinglass could not be used since it comes from the swim bladder of sturgeon--a fish considered unclean.

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So, if I wanted to make Kosher wine for a friend, i'd need all new equipment? Bummer...

You "whirlpool" your french press so the grounds don't stick to the spoon.

when most of your weekend plans involve beer. and not just drinking beer.

When you buy a mill, 50# sacks of two row, and start thinking about roasting your own special malts... And check this forum several times a day even before joining...

And you get sad without a fermenter with an airlock or blowoff tube bubbling for more than 2 days haha, you know it's Time to brew again at this phase

Yeah and when you house hits 60 degrees and you kindly ask living mates to please not touch the heat dial...

Or when you know your girlfriend hates beer but new batch you try you say to her, "oh my god baby you gotta try this batch I think you would love it!"
And she says, "I Donno... Smells like beer.."
Oh yeah... More fore me

You own a generator for an emergency power supply, yet the only thing that qualifies use for an emergency power supply is your fermentation chamber and kegerator.

When you use HBT slang in everyday conversations

When you go to the LHBS simply to get an airlock, but come home with all the ingredients you need for an IPA.

luke_d said:

When you go to the LHBS simply to get an airlock, but come home with all the ingredients you need for an IPA.

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Might as well why waste a trip?

luke_d said:

When you go to the LHBS simply to get an airlock, but come home with all the ingredients you need for an IPA.

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Forgot my brew recipe book at the LHBS last week. She called to tell me, so I went back to pick it up and spent another $100.....almost forgot the book again too

Leadgolem said:

Oh, that's that new hippy bread at the walmart. Don't want any of that multiplegrained stuff. Yuck.

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Don't want any of that shopping at Walmart stuff, either.

They have a bread brand 'Vorlauf'?

When a $5.50 drawstring bag from MoreBeer costs you $65, so you can get 'free shipping'. "No really honey, I actually saved $7.95".

You use a wort chiller to explain the science behind a tankless hot water heater to the wife while at Lowes.

TNGabe said:

Don't want any of that shopping at Walmart stuff, either.

They have a bread brand 'Vorlauf'?

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Lol, I don't think so. I was just being a smart***.

When, while working from home one day, you brew an extract batch all while attending a meeting via phone by having it on speaker and muted. That was an epic Pumpkin Porter.

You wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and at the same time you check on your currently fermenting batch (coming along nicely by the way) then make this post on HBT

*happening now* as you're starting up a brewday, your 3 yr old niece asks if she can come out and make beer with you.

She also tells her pre-school teacher that her uncle car car loves beer and makes it all the time, uncle of the year!

bwirthlin said:

You wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and at the same time you check on your currently fermenting batch (coming along nicely by the way) then make this post on HBT

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Yep, I've done that.

You here a "bump" in the night and immediately check the spare room where your fermentor is just incase, then check the rest of the house.

Keep the whole house at 66F during a week long vacation just to make sure that the current batch of Simcoe+Citra IPA is safe.

MC

You are constantly playing the 'thermostat game' with the wife to keep your hard cider in the upper 60's, rather than the low 70's.

It's 6:00 pm on new years eve and the idea of going out to buy some beer didn't even occur to you until you saw this post.

Your perfect New Years Day is
-cleaning out a corny and immediately refilling it with cherry bourbon barrel aged imperial stout, and then
-building a DIY hood to install over the electric boil kettle to avoid another garage sauna, and then
-cleaning and prepping to brew this Saturday.

... And hopefully opening a gift certificate from the wife that will cover that grain mill I have been eyeballing... *fingers crossed*

You don't mind your New Years plans got canceled cause it give you more time to brew.

WilliamSlayer said:

You are constantly playing the 'thermostat game' with the wife to keep your hard cider in the upper 60's, rather than the low 70's.

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or you move the paper inside the knob to protect the precious...

when you computer craps out and all you can think is oh no i dont have beer smith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huntingohio said:

when you computer craps out and all you can think is oh no i dont have beer smith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The smartphone app rocks! I like it anyway, but you need to have stuff saved to the cloud first.

When instead of training the new kid at work you give him a lesson on brewing 101.

When your son taking high school biology is studying yeast respiration tells them that co2 and alcohol are yeast farts and yeast piss. He also was able to answer all the teachers questions about how they turn sugar into all those farts and piss. He also explains that he learned all that watching his dad brew beer. He was the hit of the class.

I loved geeking out talking yeast respiration at the dinner table with my son, my wife just rolled her eyes.

When your large fan is turned into a carboy dryer, your small fan is turned into a stir plate, your bath tub is really a swamp cooler, and your fridge is for cold crashing carboys and beer only.

When you horde beer bottles because, "..I'm going to use them for my next batch." And justify buying more craft brew to increase said collection of bottles.

Then you start kegging and retain said horde of bottles to "...hand out to friends" and "save some to see how it tastes down the road".

GioGomez2010 said:

When you horde beer bottles because, "..I'm going to use them for my next batch." And justify buying more craft brew to increase said collection of bottles.

Then you start kegging and retain said horde of bottles to "...hand out to friends" and "save some to see how it tastes down the road".

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Yup, just said to my wife last night I need to stop collecting bottles now its considered hording (300 bottles or so). Frankly I just dont like taking off labels.

EnjoyGoodBeer said:

Yup, just said to my wife last night I need to stop collecting bottles now its considered hording (300 bottles or so). Frankly I just dont like taking off labels.

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I'm not a horder yet, but getting there. For the labels, I just filled a rubbermaid tub, like what you would ice an keg in, half full of oxyclean water and just drop bottles in it. It just stays in garage now and gets dumped and refilled when the water gets nasty. Then on bottle day just run the delabled bottles through the dishwasher to sanitize and remove the label residue.