SWMBO says....

SWMBO says "one beer per day is enough."

WHAAAAT?? But which would I rather, have another beer and get bitched at for hours or just one beer per night?

If you say beer/bitching, then you sir have never been married.

wtf. : pissed :

Simple solution........One HUGE beer!!!

You are welcome!

JOHN51277 said:

Simple solution........One HUGE beer!!!

You are welcome!

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First beer I brewed (fermenting now) is a Belgian Tripel, should be about 10%abv.

Also I am in a state where I can't buy big beer. <6%

My wife got on me about the beer until i explained and proved that i'm responsible with the drinking. If you're drinking at home and she still has an issue, than she needs to STFU. That said, my wife never gave me much of a problem with it. If you're home, not driving, and never drunk....wifey needs to lay off and focus on something more serious.

It used to be "don't drink 3"... ok. So I'll drink 2 really fast ( ).

Now it's "don't drink 2". OK wtf. make up f*cking mind.

And I just got all this homebrew equipment and ... so one 5gal batch should (according to her allowed rate) last me for... like 3 months (since drinking every night is out too).

I am pissed. but she has been super unpleasant lately and honestly it's just not worth it for me to ... let's call it "discuss" it with her.

JayD said:

SWMBO says "one beer per day is enough."

WHAAAAT?? But which would I rather, have another beer and get bitched at for hours or just one beer per night?

If you say beer/bitching, then you sir have never been married.

wtf. : pissed :

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sounds like you're looking for 1 answer, but i can't agree. wife has no problem, as long as i stay home and drink all i want. been married 11 years...

lumpher said:

sounds like you're looking for 1 answer, but i can't agree. wife has no problem, as long as i stay home and drink all i want. been married 11 years...

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I never drink beer 'out'... ... I guess you could call it a religious thing or something I don't know.

Too bad my solution for this honestly would be but then it's not like I ever really did that around her so she can't expect it and be worried about it.

Honestly she is just needing something to ***** about I guess. Seriously she's been in a terrible humor lately.

i'd just have a talk with her, and ask her what her problem with it is ( in a nice way ). if she bitches at you constantly, she'll either drive you away, or force you to sneak more in. i couldn't do that. my man-card will never expire

lumpher said:

i'd just have a talk with her, and ask her what her problem with it is ( in a nice way ). if she bitches at you constantly, she'll either drive you away, or force you to sneak more in. i couldn't do that. my man-card will never expire

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Yes she would just b*llsh*t some answer and I am (honestly) so bad at arguments that I would be worthless. ARgh.

you can always use a big mug, and somehow it's always full

lumpher said:

you can always use a big mug, and somehow it's always full

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she would still quantify it. She's smart... Plus, she would just ask me how many (I only have bottles, no kegs) and I do not lie to her....

it's all up to you. you have to make your decisions. if you're old enough to brew, and old enough to drink, and old enough to be married, then you have to make your own decisions. lumpher out...

That's why I didn't marry a "SWMBO" (second time around at least...lol) This one has never told me what to do ever.

JayD said:

she would still quantify it. She's smart... Plus, she would just ask me how many (I only have bottles, no kegs) and I do not lie to her....

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Well there's the problem right there . . .

My wife brought up the exact same thing with me last week, only in the context of my expanding belly. I countered with an offer to take walks with her in the evening as extra exercise to offset the extra calories of the extra beer or two.

Fortunately, my SWMBO doesn't ***** about it when I want to have a second beer. She just does what she can to keep me from having the second one. She has many ways of distracting me from the beer fridge after I finish my first beer. I tell her that that's playing dirty but that it's just fine with me.

ChshreCat said:

My wife brought up the exact same thing with me last week, only in the context of my expanding belly. I countered with an offer to take walks with her in the evening as extra exercise to offset the extra calories of the extra beer or two.

Fortunately, my SWMBO doesn't ***** about it when I want to have a second beer. She just does what she can to keep me from having the second one. She has many ways of distracting me from the beer fridge after I finish my first beer.

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Due to comments earlier in the day I think it could be related to waistline (but... I'm still pretty thin anyway). Also I have taken up swimming and do laps and all that (also still learning to swim more or less). So I'm countering the beer w/ swimming....

MY wife = not interested in taking my mind off more beer except with b*tching.

my wife worries if I only have one beer per night. I loves her.

i can't wait to NOT get married.

alcibiades said:

i can't wait to NOT get married.

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Don't worry. You still have the "domestic partnership" option.

That dancing banana just makes that joke 100 times worse. LOL

ChshreCat said:

That dancing banana just makes that joke 100 times worse. LOL

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There is a place for the dancing banana and it may not here....haha

SWMBO???

More like SWMBOOO...she who must be obeyed on occasion.....

Be a man.

My wife has done the same thing at one point a couple years ago.. I just said whats the problem? Im at home, I dont drive, I dont act stupid, I dont get mean, I just sit on the couch and relax. She still had a problem with it but I did it anyway. I didnt think it was right for her to try to limit me to two beers, when I wanted 6 and it was no problem.

My wifes dad is an alcoholic, so that was the issue. But I told her it wasnt fair for me to have to pay for his mistakes in life.

My SWMBO (long time girlfriend) has brought it up a few times that I drink too many beers. I took a look at myself and how much I drink to see what shes talking about. Turns out I could have afforded to cut back. I tend to just drink with friends or at dinner now.

There must be some reason she's asking you to cut back (that a few people touched upon)

How much do you normally drink? Is it a lot?

How do you get when you drink? In my case, I was a dick and needed to fix that asap.

WHY do you drink, thats the big one.

dougf said:

My wifes dad is an alcoholic, so that was the issue. But I told her it wasnt fair for me to have to pay for his mistakes in life.[\quote]
This could be another issue, is anyone an alcoholic in any of your families?

My roommate 2 years ago was NEVER allowed to drink. If he drank his girlfriend would lock herself in a room and cry, over one beer. Issues she needed to deal with that affected him.

Regardless of all of this, take a moment and see why she's asking you to cut back, what are you doing that's wrong in her eyes and why?

Lastly, 5 gallons lasting 3 months is a good thing, are you really concerned about having beer sit around for 3 months!? This is delicious homebrew, not piss water. My SWMBO's Brother in Law brews and he talks to me all the time about it. He's terrible at it, thinks hes fantastic, and brags about how he can finish a batch in 2 weeks. Is that really something that sounds good to you?

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If I am cutting down on my beer-per-day count, then she can do the same with buying clothes and $100 hair colorings! (hasn't happened)

My wife says I can have as mant as I want.






As long as she can too.
Of course I'm lucky that way.

There is obviously a larger issue here that she is taking out on you and your beer. I would focus on trying to work that out with her.
While having however many fecking beers you want. If you are behaving like a human, keepeing your job, family, and friends, a few beers a night is nothing for her to ***** about. But then, like a couple of the other fellers here, I have found my real wife.

northernlad said:

there is obviously a larger issue here that she is taking out on you and your beer. I would focus on trying to work that out with her.
While having however many fecking beers you want. If you are behaving like a human, keepeing your job, family, and friends, a few beers a night is nothing for her to ***** about. But then, like a couple of the other fellers here, i have found my real wife.

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+1

It might be more of a control issue than a drinking issue. My practice wife used to try to control odd things about me that didn't matter. It was more about her need to control me than the actual issue at hand. The more I enjoyed something the more she felt she had to impact it.

My wife now is awesome. We always finish up our beers and head back to the keezer together in the evenings We try to exercise and she's doing better at keeping the weight off than I am, but never complains about it.

I guess there are larger issues here than a beer or two. For some people who come from alcoholic families, someone sitting on the couch having two beers brings back horrible visions of the alcoholic.

If that's not the case, then maybe you're a jerk when you drink? Something to think about. If that's the problem, I can see why she'd want to help you put limits on the consumption.

Maybe it's about control- do you watch how many diet sodas she's had, or how much she spends when she shops?

It really bothers me that someone can dictate to another that "one beer is enough". It might be. It might not be. But my partner can NOT tell me what to drink and when. I don't have a drinking problem, or a weight problem. I don't turn into a nasty person if I have two beers. So, it's not about any issues I have with alcohol. If there are other issues, he can go **** himself it he tries to control me.

LMAO!! I would be giddy if my boyfriend would drink something other than the BMC crap that makes him smell like (along with the Newports he smokes) a tavern ashtray.

She should be happy that you're drinking homebrew - at least the stuff doesn't smell like ****.

heh.. however....

I suppose I should add that living with someone who drinks a bit and then stays up all night talking to himself in a semi-drunken stupor isn't much fun to live with unless you have a big enough house where you can leave him to his own devices while you go off to sleep.

Ok just to follow up on some questions and address possibilities...

I am not a jerk when I drink (any more than usual, and I don't really consider myself a jerk generally).

Neither of her parents were alcoholics. I have a granddad who was (who was dead by the time I was born), and a couple of uncles who probably were (also neither me nor my wife knew any of these people).

I don't normally drink a lot when I drink. If left to my own I would drink 3 probably, but no more than 4 over an evening.

When I am drinking I am not sure at all what I'm doing wrong that makes her want me to not drink. DRINKING is it, I would suppose.

A batch of homebrew lasting 3 months is fine with me. (In fact what I brewed will probably not come into it's own for more like SIX months.)

I agree about the hair coloring thing, but it's not a COST issue (as I am the one paying for this out of money from my second job [that we split evenly, and she can do with what she wants to with her half]). I have voiced my issues with her closet full of shoes, but she keeps on buying. And while marriage is not tit for tat, I'm still tempted to bring that up. But she doesn't see the issues as the same. Edit to say I pay for ALL my beer [everything]. Both supplies and bottles, and everything.

Also I'm pretty respectful and don't even get into a semi-drunken stupor and certainly don't bother her when I have had beers.

So it boils down to control. It's not money, it's not weight (necessarily), etc. I guess I have to figure out why she needs so badly to control this. (and most other aspects of my life, maybe...)

Thanks all.

JayD said:

So it boils down to control. It's not money, it's not weight (necessarily), etc. I guess I have to figure out why she needs so badly to control this. (and most other aspects of my life, maybe...)

Thanks all.

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Yep, I'd say that's it. In my case, it would be a huge problem if Bob tried to control me. I mean, I'm an adult. But our marriage really is 100% equal, and we are true partners in everything. He has his interests, and I have mine, but we're both very supportive of each other. Bob trusts me that I would never overspend, overdrink, or over-anything that could be harmful to us financially or in any way in our relationship.

My guess is that she's lacking that trust. Maybe she can't control her shopping, and thinks you can't control your drinking? I'm no psychologist, but with advanced age comes lots of life experience. People who feel out of control do try to control others. Just my (probably worthless) $.02.

You should just grow some balls man. And yes I am married

I talked to her about it today (imagine that huh!) and she says it's because she doesn't want me to become an alcoholic.

Assure her you will never go to those stupid meetings and all should be OK. Besides it's part of our evolution.

She's either pregnant or wants to be. She's getting the nest ready.

Tell her that if she thinks she can tell you drink less beer, then you can tell her to give more BJs!

Homercidal said:

Tell her that if she thinks she can tell you drink less beer, then you can tell her to give more BJs!

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I didn't think of that!

Actually, I would approach it differently. She's afraid if you drink two beers that you'll be an alcoholic? Maybe mention that you're afraid if she can't stop shopping, you are afraid she'll be a shopoholic. Maybe then she can realize that a closet full of shoes is a symptom of compulsive behavior. Just a thought.

This may seem a bit over the top, but if you feel that she's controlling this just because she 'can', then find something that she likes and put controls on it for her (watching reality shows, shopping for clothes/shoes, etc.). I'm a firm believer that outside of a few obviously integral issues required to make any marriage work, one person shouldn't be 'controlling' the other.

That's what I would do, but obviously I'm not in the situation so maybe it's not an option. It sounds like you may need to be prepared to be cut off for a while if you d something like this. I'm guessing that if she wants that much control over your beer drinking, then she has absolute control over the marital action (or at least she will when you piss her off).