Iron Brewer

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Chairman Cheyco

Chairman Cheyco

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Let's petition the food network for a new show based on Iron chef!
"Hey what's that he's adding to the mash, Alton?"
"Well, I just spoke to the challenger, and he is adding squid beaks which he has smoked himself with juniper berries soaked in beef broth. He says this will add a nice fishy nose to the brew, redolent of spring in Halifax harbour."
"Wow, this is shaping up to be one amazing winter-wheat battle!"

Or we could just make it ourselves. Anyone got a handycam? I suppose the tasting after about 2 months would sorta take the charm out of a live broadcast, we'd need to pre-record brew-day.

I wonder who the Iron brewers would be?
 
That's a killer idea! I'd definitely check out such a show.

And you'd have some specific ingredient like Iron Chef? That would be cool.

Uh oh...squid beak day...time to get creative ;)
 
Yeah, theme-based brew-off.... that's the next big thing in TV. The Japs will go crazy for it.

I can see it now... Andre The Giant vs El Pistolero, tonight's theme ingredients: Black Pepper and Orange Juice.

We'd all be riveted.
 
So at the beginning, the wierd guy on Iron Chef bites into a raw bell pepper. What would our guy do? Shove his face into a pile of whole hops, a la Sam Koch? Flail himself with a racking cane to appease the beer gods?
 
I think you have to go very global to get your iron brewers.

one to represent each major style of beer, ideally from the places best known for those styles

Iron Brewer Porter
Iron Brewer Stout
Iron Brewer IPA
Iron Brewer Lambic
Iron Brewer Weizen
Iron Brewer Mild
Iron Brewer Barleywine
 
Walker said:
I think you have to go very global to get your iron brewers.

one to represent each major style of beer, ideally from the places best known for those styles

Iron Brewer Porter
Iron Brewer Stout
Iron Brewer IPA
Iron Brewer Lambic
Iron Brewer Weizen
Iron Brewer Mild
Iron Brewer Barleywine
Click to expand...

So, that would exclude us Americans. Way to ruin it for us, Walker!
 
How about the judges?
I vote for Norm and Cliff from Cheers! Think they would look cool talking in Japanese with English voice overs? Or maybe English with Japanese voice overs!
 
Walker said:
Iron Brewer Pissy Light Lager?
Click to expand...

Now we're getting somewhere. And of course when I said "Americans", I meant "North Americans". Of course.

Seems to me the rules for judges on Iron Chef are along these lines: You need an old lady, a young ditzy actress, a middle aged actor, and a fat man.

So, count Norm or Cliff in. There's no shortage of ditzy actresses and middle aged actors, so we could go nuts with the celebrity guests here. The old lady might be a though spot to fill on the panel, though.
 
Cheyco, that may be one of the greatest ideas ive ever heard, er...read. I love that show + I love brewing beer = television greatness

Dude said:
And where is "Brewery Stadium" Located?
Click to expand...
Ill put up my kitchen:ban:
 
dude... how much time do we give'em....?

even an iron chebrewer couldn't brew a batch in an hour.

Maybe you just give them an hour to come up with their recipe, and then that can take some reasonable amount of time to brew it? After all, we all know you can't rush a good beer, nature must take it's course. But, we can rush the recipe creation, right?

-walker
 
I've been planning on doing something like this for a while. On March 24th we go through with it. Check my signature. Our limitations are on amounts only. Two pounds of base malt (we're partial mash kids), three pounds of specialty grains, I can't recall the limit on extracts, and three ounces of hops. Unlimited adjuncts, but points are taken off for deviation from the style.
 
Walker said:
dude... how much time do we give'em....?

even an iron chebrewer couldn't brew a batch in an hour.

Maybe you just give them an hour to come up with their recipe, and then that can take some reasonable amount of time to brew it? After all, we all know you can't rush a good beer, nature must take it's course. But, we can rush the recipe creation, right?

-walker
Click to expand...

Like I said, I think that brew day will need to be pre-recorded and condensed into about 45 minutes since that's where the action is. After that will just be the tasting. Should there be a limit on maturation time? I'd say 4 weeks should do it, unless there is a mead or barley wine special.
 
Cheyco said:
I'd say 4 weeks should do it, unless there is a mead or barley wine special.
Click to expand...

4 weeks is kind of short, isn't it? My beers are usually 'mature' 6 weeks afte rI brew them. At 4 weeks, they've only been in the bottles for a few days, maybe a week.

Anyway, I was just wondering where the hectic, time pressure would come into play. I understand that you would have to condense hours of brewing into 45 minutes of space, but do you limit them on how much time they get to brew it (6 hours?) or do you let them take as long as it takes to brew, but limit them on the time that have to think up a recipe?

-walker
 
Yeah, I was thinking 4 weeks of conditioning, should have specified.

I think 6 hours would be a good time limit to get it into primary. That might be too long though, since these guys will be pros and all the water and everything would be up to temp when they started.
 
Yes, this is going to be a smash hit. Squid beaks doesn't cut it, however funny I find it. To keep true to the format of the show and the nature of beer, we'll have to have our contestants brew three different styles using the mystery ingredient - or ingredients. Something common and something strange, like black patent and dried chickpeas or WLP004 and lemongrass or John Bull gold cans and saffron.

Brewery stadium - that's a beautiful idea.
 
Very Un-Dude said:
And where is "Brewery Stadium" Located?
Click to expand...
Wouldn't be so cool to have 2 state of the art mini breweries set up like they do for the kitchens in Iron Chef? Oh my...Stainless steel conical fermenters... bright beer tanks... nice big shiny brew pots...Plate chillers...kegs...casks...bottles...a really nice bar with tap handles custom made for each brew...all the different serving mugs and glasses...
And the ingredients. In addition to the secret ingredient they would have all the grains and adjuncts you could think of as well as yeast strains. Hops- Oh you name it they've got it!
Some one hold me up. My knees are getting weak. :drunk:
 
RichBrewer said:
Wouldn't be so cool to have 2 state of the art mini breweries set up like they do for the kitchens in Iron Chef? Oh my...Stainless steel conical fermenters... bright beer tanks... nice big shiny brew pots...Plate chillers...kegs...casks...bottles...a really nice bar with tap handles custom made for each brew...all the different serving mugs and glasses...
And the ingredients. In addition to the secret ingredient they would have all the grains and adjuncts you could think of as well as yeast strains. Hops- Oh you name it they've got it!
Some one hold me up. My knees are getting weak. :drunk:
Click to expand...

Man, I once worked in a steakhouse when I was a much younger Monkey. We had a 'fridge with every cut of beef your palate might desire. That was pretty cool. Imagine bins of grains, shelves full of sugars, hoppers full of... well, hops. Every hop known to man !
This is Heaven !
 
sudsmonkey said:
hoppers full of... well, hops. Every hop known to man !
Click to expand...
LOL, I wonder if that's where the name came from?
The challenger always brings a secret weapon ingredent, I wonder what that might be for the brewers? Yarrow.
 
Secret weapon is the can of Cooper's Bitter in the guy's inside coat pocket. He adds it when no one is looking.
 

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