Have you ever

Have you ever been so drunk that you woke uo the next morning called rhe number written on your hand with a heart to find out it was a dude

Who hasn't?

Nope.

No

met a girl you tried to date. But a year to make love she wanted you to wait?

... woken up in a hotel room and called the front desk to see where you are?

....woken up dressed in someone else s clothes?

Never have I ever...

Woken up in a strange place, asked for directions home. And then it was a 30 minute drive back to someplace that was vaguely familiar, then you could continue home?

woke up with a couple of midgets wearing wrestling mask and a pony wearing a condom

Woke up in college on the cushion of a pappazon chair with one sock missing and my face completely sharpied. I couldnt be too angry, it was obviously a woman who sharpied me, seeing as how it was all stars, half moons and squiggles.

Woke up once in college (see a trend) with two girls in bed next to me, and was disheartened when I remembered that we had all just gotten really tired and passed out after a night of drinking and card games.

I did call a number written on my arm once only to have to deliver the smooth line "what's your name again?"... she wasnt impressed.

One of my favorite waking up stories was at Burning Man. My wife got up first and went to go make some coffee. I opened my eyes to see though the break in the tent flap the rear view of a woman wearing only an apron and sandles making eggs in a pot on a propane grill. I thought "wow, this morning is pretty cool so far" and then heard a man with a New Zealand accent calling out "Jaegermeister laybacks in the morning! Get your Jaegermeister laybacks!" By the way, the woman making scrambled eggs offered us some. They were pretty good.

you woke up with a goat wearing a totu with a strange smile on it's face

In my younger days I would wake up in the morning and have no idea how I got home. I had a recurring fear that I would walk outside and the front of my truck would be covered in blood... No bueno!

I was fishing on the des plaines river and I pinned my kayak against a fallen tree to rig up. Out of the corner of my eye I see an unopened can of old style mixed in with various flotsom caught in the branches. I keep rigging. I keep looking over at the can. There's fish to catch I need to get this knot tied. The can is sticking up just out of the water in the fork of a branch like some offering wooden hand. It had a algae and some muck on the submerged side but did I mention it was unopened? Damn it was hot and I was thirsty. I drank it and it was good. Rock bottom?

Fish gods gave to you

as punishment

Woke up naked with a woman who had a mustache thicker than yours

No, but never have I ever gotten into a bar fight with a dude who claims to be shrimp boat captain who was hitting on your boys wife!

Wake up, in a yard only to hear "I called the police!" As a house light goes out? Sit there a moment, still trying to get your barrings straight. Half ass figure out were you are. Climb back over the fence. (Fence?) To get back to a friends house only to find out, they'er all chilling, drinking. Dicks.

Or wake up on a island with blood in your ear, completly lost. Hours of finding your truck amongst many at a music fest. Only to see the dawn's light approching. Still very very very hammered?

I think I have more. Have to make some calls to the more sober people who were there.

Woke up in the basement of a bar in Athens. Hung over, head splitting like a cord of fire wood, wearing nothing but a rain suit covered in baby oil?
Ahhh the good ol days

I woke up once in someones back yard. passed out at a house party. the cops got called because of the noise. they couldn't wake me, so my brother (the one puking by a dumpster) did a flying elbow drop into my gut. I jumped up & punched him in the mouth. then I saw all the cops with hands on their side arms and yelled, "KING NORA ADAM PAUL PAUL!"

they let me go.

I still can't live some stories down... but my favorite is being pulld over, breathalyzed, and scoring a .079

Ctforte said:

I still can't live some stories down... but my favorite is being pulld over, breathalyzed, and scoring a .079

Click to expand...

Not really something to brag about

Billy-Klubb said:

I woke up once in someones back yard. passed out at a house party. the cops got called because of the noise. they couldn't wake me, so my brother (the one puking by a dumpster) did a flying elbow drop into my gut. I jumped up & punched him in the mouth. then I saw all the cops with hands on their side arms and yelled, "KING NORA ADAM PAUL PAUL!"

they let me go.

Click to expand...

"KING NORA ADAM PAUL PAUL!"
What does that mean? It sounds very familiar. I just googled it with 3 hits of only you saying it.

Woke up naked pissin in the hall of a hotel while on the wrong floor and no idea of the correct room number. After knocking on several wrong doors being told "not your room bro" and "go away" Security finally got the hostess to locate and let me in cause the wife was passed out too.

Goofynewfie said:

Not really something to brag about

Click to expand...

No its not but it was a close one

Stevo2569 said:

"KING NORA ADAM PAUL PAUL!"
What does that mean? It sounds very familiar. I just googled it with 3 hits of only you saying it.

Woke up naked pissin in the hall of a hotel while on the wrong floor and no idea of the correct room number. After knocking on several wrong doors being told "not your room bro" and "go away" Security finally got the hostess to locate and let me in cause the wife was passed out too.

Click to expand...

that's my last name in fancy cop radio talk. I been stopped a time or two by some various officers in different places thinking I was up to no good on account of the way I look.

have you ever..... taken a **** so big your pants fit better afterwards?

woke up with a couple of pasties stuck to your ass and glitter in your sorthern hair

brewed naked