demon possesed ant attack on my toilet

Its gotta be a monday thing. there I am doing my business this morning when all on the sudden I feel a hot pinching on my hand, I look down and see a giant red ant biting my hand, I brush it off to the ground and it turns around and comes back towards me, so i crush it with my finger... or so I thought, I look down again and its dragging its body towards me.
No other red ants anywhere else in the bathroom, just that one retarded ant who decided to climb onto me and try to f me up.

Damn army ant B@st@rds. I have fire ants where I live and they are just as persistent (if not more).

Yeah, but if he gets you, he can take you back to the hill and be proclaimed King of all Ants!

I found three of his buddies looking for him later that day, I chemically eradicated them and the hole they were coming from. No ant gets his glory from me! Although had he survived biting me while on the john he would have a good story to tell the other ants at the bar.

get some borax and mix it with honey or something sweet and put it in small containers, of course tell the kids its poison, but since its a low level poison the ants are going to transport the poison to the other ants and the hive, soon you be out of ants... i did this about 2 months with a huge ant infection