Wish Corruption thread

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JorgeIsKing

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Another stupid forum game. Not sure how much participation is going to take place, but I'm drunk and consequently, don't give a ****.

Here are the rules:

Somebody makes a wish
The next person grants that wish, but in a way that makes the wish suck. I'll do the first two posts as examples to get this thing going.

Side note: the idea is to have fun with this, not to come up with an incorruptible wish.

So anyway, to start:

I wish for world peace!
 
OK, the world is at peace, but it is because it is enslaved by an alien race.

I wish I had a puppy!

Wish granted. He's so cute and cuddly rolled up in a ball, but he isn't really moving at all. I can't even see him breathing. He must just be really sleepy....

I wish my HLT was bigger.
 
Granted. You are the best brewer on this forum.... but your beer is so good, your friends drink it all and you never get any.

I wish I could fly.
 
Your wish is granted, but once you take off you can't land. Hehe

I wish I could afford to get that brewstand RIGHT NOW!! :D
 
Your wish to be able to afford a brew stand is granted. However, home brewing in MO (or wherever you may live in the future) has just been deemed illegal. :fro:

I wish for a warm, dry winter.
 
granted. you tripped over your shoelaces, fell down and accidentally fell on a chainsaw and died. you're spending winter in hell. i hear it's really dry and warm year round.

i wish i got paid to drink beer and watch sports all day.
 
Fine, wish granted you've been fired from your job so you can watch TV and drink beer all day. But unemployment benefits only last so long.....

I wish I could afford private school for my kids.
 
Wish is granted...but its all govt processed lab food, because they outlaw the consumption of ANYTHING farmgrown!!

I wish I didn't have to work today, and could get started on my brewday now!
 
I wish I could afford private school for my kids.

Fine. You win the lottery, which gives you the money to afford private school for your kids, but the publicity brings out every shiftless grifter and two-bit con man in town. After deciding to invest your lottery winnings, it turns out that your investment "broker" was Bernie Madoff, and you have no money left. Thanks to all the stresses your wife leaves you and takes the dog, and now you're broke, lonely, and owe the private school a huge tuition bill.

I wish it were the weekend already.
 
It's the weekend. Sunday at 11:59PM to be exact. Enjoy getting to work in a couple of hours.

I wish my car would never break down.
 
I wish my car would never break down.

Granted. Your car has been transported to an alien planet 2,000 light years away with far superior technology and has been retrofitted with new parts and systems. It will never break down again. You can come pick it up at your earliest convenience.

I wish I could turn invisible at will.
 
Wish Granted, you are now visible.
Now you get to realize that women still pass you by, but it is now because they CAN see you.

I wish my wife enjoyed giving me "grilled cheese sandwiches"
 
Granted. She uses easy cheese to make the work go faster.
Edit: I think you meant the other "grilled cheese sandwich", so... Granted. But she was out late last night working on a special project with her boss.


I wish I didn't have to sleep.
 
Wish Granted, you are now visible.
Now you get to realize that women still pass you by, but it is now because they CAN see you.

I wish my wife enjoyed giving me "grilled cheese sandwiches"

Ok, but it can only be served with "tomato soup"


I wish to have an unlimited supply of good beer.
 
"I wish I could get some work done today...."

Granted. You get SOME work done today but not ALL of it and you are fired for laziness.

I wish I had a nicer car.
 
Granted, but you'll still never be able to afford a z-job. Or even find out what one is.

I wish Joe Paterno would retire already.
 
Granted. But you can only drink hot Coors Light out of a sweaty boot.


I wish I had a good archery hunting spot.
 
Granted, you have 3 testicles but they are very small and mis-shapen.

I wish I had a beer.

Granted, here's your unopened 10 year old can of Miller Genuine Draft that someone found in the back of a car in a junkyard in Phoenix AZ.

I wish all government employees would just start telling the truth and not be able to stop.
 
I wish all government employees would just start telling the truth and not be able to stop.

Granted. They have been spying on you for years and tell the media about your cross dressing.

I wish the next poster will be a really hot lady with large naturals.
 
Granted. Here I am. Mine are natural and really big... they hang down to just below my knees.

I wish I had crazy good guitar playing skills.

Granted. You *had* crazy good guitar playing skills until a swarm of angry midget lesbians stormed your house and dropped all of your glass carboys from the roof, sending shards of glass flying at light speed through your hands permanently destroying your ability to do anything but wave your middle finger around like a geriatric rapper.


I wish I could take every friday off.
 
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