my buddy's demon child

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superjunior

superjunior

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A few nights ago I was over at a Friends weighing up and packaging fresh hops. our other buddy and his wife and kid showed up to help. we just get started, trying not to handle the hops too much, carefully weighing, vac sealing than labeling. we had the hops in 4 separate boxes by strain. So about 5 minutes in, my buddies kid (maybe 3-4 years old) starts climbing up my shoulder and lunging into the hop boxes. He was grabbing them with both hands, squishing them and mixing the strains up while the whole time screaming I wanna help, I wanna help, I wanna help!!!!! At first I just looked at my buddy and his wife in dis-belief as they were doing nothing about it. After a minute or so of this I gave my buddy a look that said "get this effin little monster off me and out of the hops before I throw him through a window!" Finally my Friend said "no no (boys name) don't do that or uncle (my name) will be mad at you. This did absolutely no good as the boy just kept climbing up me, on to the table and into the hops while screaming louder I wanna help, I wanna help, I wanna help!!! This whole time the wife did nothing and my patience was long gone so I raised my voice just a little and said (boys name) knock it off! At this point its visibly clear that I'm very annoyed so the wife finally said cmon (boys name) lets play with a coloring book and I kinda got this feeling like "how dare you talk to my son like that" attitude. un-believable. Well thanks for listening to my rant fellas, had to get that off my chest.
 
Yeah in my observation a majority of times freaky demon children are a direct result of their parents not disciplining them. I don't mean beating their ass or anything, though sometimes they probably need it, but teaching them respect and some freaking self control, heh.

The situation you describe pisses me off to no end. Parents that don't seem to care how their kids are going to turn out when they grow up.
 
There was a guy at a place I worked at a while back who had a kid like that. One day they were walking up the sidewalk and one of the guys there says under his breath "Well, here comes Steve and the little future date rapist."
 
TomSD said:
Yeah in my observation a majority of times freaky demon children are a direct result of their parents not disciplining them. I don't mean beating their ass or anything, though sometimes they probably need it, but teaching them respect and some freaking self control, heh.

The situation you describe pisses me off to no end. Parents that don't seem to care how their kids are going to turn out when they grow up.
Click to expand...

yep. I would have to say upbringing, they have no control over him
 
ChshreCat said:
There was a guy at a place I worked at a while back who had a kid like that. One day they were walking up the sidewalk and one of the guys there says under his breath "Well, here comes Steve and the little future date rapist."
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unfortunately for my Friend, if they don't get that kid under control he'll be in jail before high school
 
Hmmm I have a three year old who wants to help all the time when I'm cooking, he knows brewing is dangerous so is kept away. But the trick I find can be to give them some small job and make them feel involved.
But getting pissed and chastising someone elses kid in front of them is a bit rude, before you'd tried anything else apart from getting narked, you could have told the kid in a nice way what you wanted and not to be climbing all up on your stuff, but hey maybe you have five kids of your own and know this already.
 
EoinMag said:
Hmmm I have a three year old who wants to help all the time when I'm cooking, he knows brewing is dangerous so is kept away. But the trick I find can be to give them some small job and make them feel involved.
But getting pissed and chastising someone elses kid in front of them is a bit rude, before you'd tried anything else apart from getting narked, you could have told the kid in a nice way what you wanted and not to be climbing all up on your stuff, but hey maybe you have five kids of your own and know this already.
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There's wisdom and experience here. I have no issue with being the responsible grownup around anyone's children. I don't wait for her/his parents, I just do what adults are supposed to do. So asking the child to help you hold the bag open (for example) is one approach. Or telling the child that they have to get down, or go over there, or stop whatever they are doing, is another approach. Its part of the job description of being an adult.

And in my experience, as the father of two boys, and from watching the other parents of boys, all boys are demon-children. All of them. I used to envy the parents of the little girls, who would sit quietly, entertain themselves, do what they're told, etc.

Until all the children turned 15. Then I was sooo glad to be the parent of boys :)

I recall the day that our doorbell rang, and there were two young women who I affectionately nicknamed the "goth twins". They asked if one of my sons was home. I invited them in, we chatted for a little while boy got dressed (he had been showering). It became clear to me how lucky I was at that point not to have girls. So, little boys = demons. Adolescent women = endless headaches. Pick your poison. ;)
 
EoinMag said:
I see what your saying, but I didn't chastise the lad, I SLIGHTLY raised my voice and told him to knock it off. more than his parents did who were sitting only two feet away. Its not my job to babysit this kid and its not the first time I've seen him in action. Last time they brought him over my house the little sh#t was throwing rocks at my house, windows, my dog...and his parents did nothing. I have a 5 year old nephew who has never acted like this, in fact he was at my house that day of the rock throwing incident and took no part of the other boys antics...
Click to expand...
 
Pappers said:
There's wisdom and experience here. I have no issue with being the responsible grownup around anyone's children. I don't wait for her/his parents, I just do what adults are supposed to do. So asking the child to help you hold the bag open (for example) is one approach. Or telling the child that they have to get down, or go over there, or stop whatever they are doing, is another approach. Its part of the job description of being an adult.
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I thought about that but felt a little uncomfortable telling the boy what to do and or scolding him right in front of his parents who were sitting right there. Isn't that a parents job?
 
superjunior said:
I see what your saying, but I didn't chastise the lad, I SLIGHTLY raised my voice and told him to knock it off. more than his parents did who were sitting only two feet away. Its not my job to babysit this kid and its not the first time I've seen him in action. Last time they brought him over my house the little sh#t was throwing rocks at my house, windows, my dog...and his parents did nothing. I have a 5 year old nephew who has never acted like this, in fact he was at my house that day of the rock throwing incident and took no part of the other boys antics...
Click to expand...

No kid would throw rocks at my house, you need to step up there, but do it right, it doesn't have to be scolding. Tell him that he's not to throw stones as that will break stuff or hurt people, you know this, maybe he doesn't yet, or does but does it anyway because his parents say nothing, doesn't mean you have to stand for it.
Be firm, tell the kid it's grown ups stuff and he's in the wrong place, so can he help hold the bag or whatever as Pappers said, getting narked is not the way to start.
Watching the kid throw rocks at your house and expecting the parents to say anything is a bit lame to be honest, it's your house....

It's not about babysitting, it's about laying down the rules when you're about, so what if his parents don't care, you can show you do without being the bad guy, and if they get pissed then they're hassle anyway.
 
[QUOTE getting narked is not the way to start.
Watching the kid throw rocks at your house and expecting the parents to say anything is a bit lame to be honest, it's your house....[/QUOTE]

not quite sure what getting narked means. As far as the rocks, boys father would tell him in a very soft spoken voice (boys name) don't do that, you could break a window and uncle(my name) will be mad at you. This obviously works great because as soon as my buddy would turn his head the kid would be throwing the rocks again. I simply told my Friend if the kid damages my property he's paying for it. I'm not trying to be a parent of a kid whose parents are standing right there and have no control over their child...
 
super, you are a better man than me. The parents would definitely not be invited to my house anymore, and it would be made very clear why. I also wouldn't attend any events that this kid was going to be at. I have very low tolerance for stupid parents and stupid kids, and am not afraid to show it. Hell I don't even like kids with stupid names. Call me whatever you want, but I don't deal with other people's problems, not worth my time and aggravation.
 
Pappers said:
And in my experience, as the father of two boys, and from watching the other parents of boys, all boys are demon-children. All of them. I used to envy the parents of the little girls, who would sit quietly, entertain themselves, do what they're told, etc.

Until all the children turned 15. Then I was sooo glad to be the parent of boys :)

.... little boys = demons. Adolescent women = endless headaches. Pick your poison. ;)
Click to expand...

That's funny. I have an aunt who has three girls and her youngest is a boy. When my son was born, she told me that boys are FAR easier to raise. Then she said, "If I knew how much trouble girls are, then I would have had my son first, then quit." It just seemed all the funnier when her daughters agreed with her.

superjunior said:
not quite sure what getting narked means. As far as the rocks, boys father would tell him in a very soft spoken voice (boys name) don't do that, you could break a window and uncle(my name) will be mad at you. This obviously works great because as soon as my buddy would turn his head the kid would be throwing the rocks again. I simply told my Friend if the kid damages my property he's paying for it. I'm not trying to be a parent of a kid whose parents are standing right there and have no control over their child...
Click to expand...

I can't say I blame you. First, I consider myself lucky that all of my friends (at least the ones with kids) are what I consider responsible parents so I've never really had to deal with anything like this. But there have been at least a few incidents where I've gotten on some kids case right in front of his parents for various questionable activities (harrassing my dog, picking rocks from near my house and throwing them at passing cars, etc.) I've always gotten dirty looks, but never an argument. If I get called the neighborhood crotchety guy, then so be it. But if mom and dad won't teach their kid right from wrong, then someone has to or we end up with a whole generation of date rapists, cereal killers, general pains in the a$$, and really bad drivers.
 
Airborneguy said:
super, you are a better man than me. The parents would definitely not be invited to my house anymore, and it would be made very clear why. I also wouldn't attend any events that this kid was going to be at. I have very low tolerance for stupid parents and stupid kids, and am not afraid to show it. Hell I don't even like kids with stupid names. Call me whatever you want, but I don't deal with other people's problems, not worth my time and aggravation.
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Thank God!

I thought there was something wrong with me.
 
Airborneguy said:
super, you are a better man than me. The parents would definitely not be invited to my house anymore, and it would be made very clear why. I also wouldn't attend any events that this kid was going to be at. I have very low tolerance for stupid parents and stupid kids, and am not afraid to show it. Hell I don't even like kids with stupid names. Call me whatever you want, but I don't deal with other people's problems, not worth my time and aggravation.
Click to expand...

thank you. my feelings exactly. it really blows, they're good Friends of mine but a little immature and sadly not very good parents. they haven't brought the boy over since that day.
 
jmendez29 said:
I can't say I blame you. First, I consider myself lucky that all of my friends (at least the ones with kids) are what I consider responsible parents so I've never really had to deal with anything like this. But there have been at least a few incidents where I've gotten on some kids case right in front of his parents for various questionable activities (harrassing my dog, picking rocks from near my house and throwing them at passing cars, etc.) I've always gotten dirty looks, but never an argument. If I get called the neighborhood crotchety guy, then so be it. But if mom and dad won't teach their kid right from wrong, then someone has to or we end up with a whole generation of date rapists, cereal killers, general pains in the a$$, and really bad drivers.
Click to expand...
a lot of my Friends are very responsible parents and have great kids, unfortunately these Friends are not and have produced the anti-christ...
 
Sometimes parents are embarrassed by having to correct their child in public, more so than the behavior itself.
Then some of them just don't know how to correct them and/or make it stick.
Others just can't handle the idea of making their cherished baby unhappy.
Then there's some that just seem to have given up because it's easier to ignore what their kids do.

They all just piss me off.
 
Pappers said:
Until all the children turned 15. Then I was sooo glad to be the parent of boys :)

So, little boys = demons. Adolescent women = endless headaches. Pick your poison. ;)
Click to expand...

My Dad (father of 2 girls, 2 boys) always said boys were less to worry about. Yeah, we did more damage, got in more trouble, etc... but, with boys you have to worry about one d!ck in town. With girls you have to worry about EVERY d!ck in town.
 
Hermit said:
But you draw the line at hop abuse?
Click to expand...

yes, gotta draw the line somewhere ;) but seriously, at my house I did say something to my Friends as politely as I could while getting agitated not only by the kids behavior but more at mom and dad for watching me get agitated and not doing anything to control their kid. They did leave after it became obvious I was not happy.
 
Super, I didn't mean to imply that you did anything wrong, its always hard to know what to do and depends on the circumstances. Hope you and your friends are able to work this out.
 
Pappers said:
Super, I didn't mean to imply that you did anything wrong, its always hard to know what to do and depends on the circumstances. Hope you and your friends are able to work this out.
Click to expand...

thanks pappers. it is a little complicated for me, I don't want to scold a kid in front of their parents and I don't want to scold the parents in front of their kid. its all good though, they're still very close Friends and brew buddies. its kinda unspoken but known amongst us to keep that kid away from me :)
 
I also have a low tolerance for parents who don't control their kids. I have a couple of friends who are like that and i've got no problem with speaking up when parents just seem to ignore what their kid or kids are doing. like others have said, these kids are the future and the future is bleak:mad:

call me crochety or cantankerous or whatever you want but control yer kids:mug:
 
Most of my friends have rowdy kids. At that young age they can be a handful. As they have gotten older, they have mellowed out some, but luckily they were pretty hands-on with them at 3-4 years.

Other "Friend" came over for a party once and her daughter was writing all over the walls. One of our other friends asked why she wasn't keeping a better eye on her and the mother asked if she was supposed to the babysitter too.

I was dumbfounded. Babysitter?? You're the Fing MOTHER! Just because some of your "friends" get together doesn't mean you're suddenly childless!

And I disagree on the girls being harder. I have two and they are wonderful.
 
TomSD said:
Yeah in my observation a majority of times freaky demon children are a direct result of their parents not disciplining them. I don't mean beating their ass or anything, though sometimes they probably need it, but teaching them respect and some freaking self control, heh.

The situation you describe pisses me off to no end. Parents that don't seem to care how their kids are going to turn out when they grow up.
Click to expand...

I've had similar issues. You did right. Nothing else can be done right?



superjunior said:
unfortunately for my Friend, if they don't get that kid under control he'll be in jail before high school
Click to expand...

That seems to be the way things go.

ChshreCat said:
Have you suggested an 18th trimester abortion? ;)
Click to expand...

I just called the clinic to ask and they wanted to get all this info from me. I guess they are sending me something?
 
It sounds like you need to let your friends know your stance on children. Lots of very good kids want to help with things and feel involved. Simply telling them no can be difficult for them to comprehend. I agree with Pappers, redirecting is by far the easiest way to deal with smaller kids. Or kindly explain that "this job isn't for you, can you help by x?" If he was truly being a monster, and the kids dad was calling you an uncle, aren't you close enough to your friend to say, "deal with this or I will".

I think some parents loose sight of the fact that not everyone is a parent and that small children, while a reality of society, are a serious bother to many people. Personally, I would just say, get over yourself. It is a little boy being a little boy. At the same time, parents need to be parents and manage their children such that they aren't making everyone insane.
 
It is perfectly acceptable to announce that your rules may be different from the parents but you expect them to be followed in your house. Even very young kids know that there are different rules for different places.

Next time the demon child is there, make sure he knows what is acceptable at your house and what is not. This also lets the parents know too.
 
Super, I agree that it is a delicate line...you want to be respectful of your friends and of their right to parent as they choose, but you also want to have your hard-earned relaxation time and fun without bother. I also agree that it was the parents' job to take care of business, but sometimes parents just get fried and zone out.

I really like what Pappers had to say. Re-direction is key. If you can find a bit of patience and pay him a little attention (which he may need more than the parents can give...it happens...little thing called "goodness of fit") by giving him a small task and make him feel like he belongs, even for a minute. If you are "Uncle Super", then you're close enough to the family to take that on...so do it with pride. Find that teachable moment and let him hold the bags for a fill or two. He'll likely bore quickly and then you can re-direct him to another activity...probably child-related. "Hey, buddy...there's a Nerf ball over there. Can you play catch with mommy? Bet she can't catch it!"

"Should" you have to? No. But doing these things can really pay some dividends if you choose to engage.

If you find a little patience during these "monster" years, you may end up with a good brew assistant/brewpot scourer. :)
 
I havn't read any of the posts or good advice because I'm a bit of an ahole.

If you don't fix this little bastard quick, he will grow up and be all over your lawn every damn day. Buy your friends a puppy. When they are playing with the puppy, steal the little bastard and sell him to a Chinese shirt factory.

Your friends get a puppy, the kid gets gainful employment, and you get some peace. On top of that everyone gets cheap shirts. Everyone is a winner!
 
I've been in a similar situation, not as bad as yours though. But alot of times the parents need a break, or have to pick their battles. In your case they should have done something, obviously. In mine I just took control, no big deal, if the parents don't like the way I parent they won't come back, BFD. but they come by with their boys often enough. As has been said sometimes the best approach is allowing them to help. And don't treat them like you are their parent, be their friend, they love it. Admittedly at that age, sometimes nothing works. Personally I'll never be shy about laying down the law and/or teaching them something.
 

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