Only one mythical Beast for Life

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One beast to bring them all and in the darkness brine them

  • Unicorns?

  • Wolpertinger? (a rabbit with fangs and horns)

  • Very small Dogs?

  • Sea Serpents?

  • The Lernian Hydra?

  • Aigikampoi? (Fish-tailed goat)

  • Popobawa? (a gay rapist one eyed ogre)?

  • Daphnaie? - (Laurel tree nymph)

  • Talking Rats?

  • Very Large dogs?


Results are only viewable after voting.
Are you saying David Bowie is crap??


Anyway, I'm only here because my spidey senses were telling me that someone was talking about Jennifer Connelly.

She was actually a tree nymph until I banged the bark off of her.

I forget what movie, but a buddy and I were watching and a close-up of Jennifer came on. "Nice tooth" my friend chuckled, since she had a tooth that might have been slightly crooked.

I nearly smacked him. I refrained from explaining that jennifer's crooked tooth was 45X hotter than any of the girls this guy had EVER even thought of touching.
 
The only think DBow ever did that was worth anything was scare small children and sing with Queen once.

Connelly is nice but i prefer me a little Jessica Alba.

Were-Pig hunt is on but its been moved to the Wendy's (Taco Hell lets the fire out both ends.) at 2:46 AM. I got foil, BYOPP. They are attracted to pink, bring your feather boas.
 
She was actually a tree nymph until I banged the bark off of her.

I forget what movie, but a buddy and I were watching and a close-up of Jennifer came on. "Nice tooth" my friend chuckled, since she had a tooth that might have been slightly crooked.

I nearly smacked him. I refrained from explaining that jennifer's crooked tooth was 45X hotter than any of the girls this guy had EVER even thought of touching.

It was probably Career Opportunities. The one with the electric horse ride...
 
The only think DBow ever did that was worth anything was scare small children and sing with Queen once.

Connelly is nice but i prefer me a little Jessica Alba.

Were-Pig hunt is on but its been moved to the Wendy's (Taco Hell lets the fire out both ends.) at 2:46 AM. I got foil, BYOPP. They are attracted to pink, bring your feather boas.

*wrong thread brother!;) see how far you've been drawn into my web of nonsensical threads?;)*

good thing I looked here.....I have had 14 tacos waiting for the foil.

It was probably Career Opportunities. The one with the electric horse ride...

No....dark world? something like that. Probably the same tooth though.;)
 
No....dark world? something like that. Probably the same tooth though.;)

Dark Water? Is that the one with the double headed...

Ah, never mind. I'm sure it was a different movie I'm thinking of. Dark Water has her as a mother in a haunted house or something. This other one is where she is a drug addict I think.

Pretty sure it's the same tooth though. Jewel has a snaggle tooth too. All things considered, it's a small flaw.
 
I didn't see "Liger" on the list so I didn't vote...
Liger's, being real and all, have been disqualified.

I think I would have to pick death. It's the most helpful in brining them all. :D

When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come and see!" I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine, and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.
 
Wait wait wait... I just thought of something. If I put Death in primary, won't that kill all my yeast?!??
 
Wait wait wait... I just thought of something. If I put Death in primary, won't that kill all my yeast?!??

NO NO NO!!!!!!

There is a separate "death" for yeast, unidentifyable except with a microscope....or by 5 gallons of barely fermented beer with a full starter of healthy yeast that seem to just stop after 15 minutes.

EDIT: How the eff are you gonna catch the big guy?? A rapist one eyed ogre is a chore to catch, but it is certainly possible.

EDIT EDIT: Ever see the "Hogfather" quasi christmas mccabre special? Awesomest portrayal of death ever. The old Skeletal bringer of the end dons "santa"'s robes and plays the part of the jolly gift giver when the big guy goes missing.
 
Tales%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2BCrypt%2B-%2BHave%2BYourself%2Ba%2BScary%2BLittle%2BChristmas.jpg
 
EDIT: How the eff are you gonna catch the big guy?? A rapist one eyed ogre is a chore to catch, but it is certainly possible.

EDIT EDIT: Ever see the "Hogfather" quasi christmas mccabre special? Awesomest portrayal of death ever. The old Skeletal bringer of the end dons "santa"'s robes and plays the part of the jolly gift giver when the big guy goes missing.
Everyone catches death eventually.

And, no.
 
Ah, but it is possible to brew if you are only mostly dead. :cross:

Ah HA HA!!!!! You are clever my friend! We should get together!!

You are.......ahem....actually a lead gollum right?

I mean, we could you know (I think I have a recipe here....) um, hunt up a werepig or something....
 
Ah HA HA!!!!! You are clever my friend! We should get together!!

You are.......ahem....actually a lead gollum right?

I mean, we could you know (I think I have a recipe here....) um, hunt up a werepig or something....
Indeed sir. A soulless automation constructed of lead, and other less fragile metals. I went crazy and killed my creator, along with the entire town that laughed at his stringless puppet automaton.

How about we hunt were-manbearpig? They are canny, and much more fun then hunting mere were-pigs.
 
Indeed sir. A soulless automation constructed of lead, and other less fragile metals. I went crazy and killed my creator, along with the entire town that laughed at his stringless puppet automaton.

How about we hunt were-manbearpig? They are canny, and much more fun then hunting mere were-pigs.

A just suggestion my soul lacking friend. Let me check my schedule!
 
I cant believe that Chupacabra wasn´t covered, with the big plus of you can make a really nice doppelbock brewing with a chupacabra
 
I cant believe that Chupacabra wasn´t covered, with the big plus of you can make a really nice doppelbock brewing with a chupacabra

Ahem. While you are absolutely right, you are also absolutely wrong!;)

The poll is about eating these beasts......

I liken the chupacabra to hops. While great for brewing, you wouldn't chew on one.
 
Ahem. While you are absolutely right, you are also absolutely wrong!;)

The poll is about eating these beasts......

I liken the chupacabra to hops. While great for brewing, you wouldn't chew on one.

Well it´s true Chupacabra can be a little chewy but you don´t suppose to grill it you have to make a stew with it, carefully let is simmer for about two moons (make sure that there is a full moon in that period). After a long period it really melts in your mouth.
In order to cook a chùpacabra you have to first get a goat (live) an put it in big cauldron wait for nightime and the Chupacabra will appear... this is the tricky part, you have to be well hidden an covered with feces so Chupacabra can´t get your essence (Chupacabra sense of smell is very sharp and sensitive) soon as the Chupacabra tries to eat the goat you have to push it inside the cauldron cover it with a lid and secure the lid firmly. Wait until chupacabra falls asleep an quickly remove lid and add 100 liters of water 1 kg of carrots 1 celery, salt pepper and half a potato, put lid and secure it ligth the fire and wait for two moons. Don´t over do the salt you can always correct it later Chupacabra can be a little salty by itself.
 
Well it´s true Chupacabra can be a little chewy but you don´t suppose to grill it you have to make a stew with it, carefully let is simmer for about two moons (make sure that there is a full moon in that period). After a long period it really melts in your mouth.
In order to cook a chùpacabra you have to first get a goat (live) an put it in big cauldron wait for nightime and the Chupacabra will appear... this is the tricky part, you have to be well hidden an covered with feces so Chupacabra can´t get your essence (Chupacabra sense of smell is very sharp and sensitive) soon as the Chupacabra tries to eat the goat you have to push it inside the cauldron cover it with a lid and secure the lid firmly. Wait until chupacabra falls asleep an quickly remove lid and add 100 liters of water 1 kg of carrots 1 celery, salt pepper and half a potato, put lid and secure it ligth the fire and wait for two moons. Don´t over do the salt you can always correct it later Chupacabra can be a little salty by itself.

Well........OK......but I imagine a bowling ball might melt in your mouth after being boiled for 2 months, but I digress.

I have a Chupacabra pot left to me by my warlock grandfather. It is a ***** to move.

He did tell me to HEAVILLY sedate the goat, so that the cupacabra ingests the sedation, otherwise it wakes up and rips out your throat before the second potato has hit it in the head.

He also said to not add the potatoes and carrots until the beat has boiled for 1.99 months, otherwise they are absolutely disintegrated after about 18 hours of boiling.
 
Of course patotoes shoul be desintegrated, what you are looking for is more a gravy feel, the potato will be a part of the sauce and 2 months it´s too much 28 days for a moon, 56 are two moons, you can sedate the Chupacabra but the result wont be the same and if you do sedate it to heavy it may give you a little unwanted booze when you eat it.
You sedate Jewpacabras but not Chupacabras
 
Ahem. While you are absolutely right, you are also absolutely wrong!;)

The poll is about eating these beasts......

I liken the chupacabra to hops. While great for brewing, you wouldn't chew on one.
You just haven't had one that was cooked properly. They are usually tough because the collagen hasn't been kept at temperature long enough to render into gelatin. It's like brisket, you have to cook it low and slow. When it's ready it just falls apart, like Rome. Man that Nero knew how to throw a party....

Anyway, chupacabra is good barbecue but I still don't think it's better then cold Death. Though Death warmed over is supposed to be even better...
 
So how about it Demon? Are we going to hunt some manbearpig? I need to get more detonators if your down. I usually only carry enough to level a small country...
 
So how about it Demon? Are we going to hunt some manbearpig? I need to get more detonators if your down. I usually only carry enough to level a small country...

Got you covered, yeah, unless you want to just do "catch and release" we will need more than that.

I had planned on systematically detonating the southern hemisphere (starting at the pole) in order to flush them onto at least one hemisphere.

From there we can use tin foil hats to locate them pretty easily.

EDIT*

OH HOLY ELEPHANT bless.

You were saying it right, but somehow I was reading were-pig.

I think that man-bear-pigs are actually made-up. You know, not real?

I am SO sorry!
 
This recipes are not in a book they came from the oral traidtion of mediaval times were books were not that important but this recipes have been transferred mouth to mouth and generation to generation to these days. I can´t tell you the recipe because it can only teach this to my children... it´s a family thing. The problem is a don´t have children only a dog. I´ve tried to explain my dog how to cook a manbearpig but I don´t hink my dog understand english spanish or italian and he does there is no way I can know... I can always adopt you cheezydemon3... but i prefer not to.
 
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