Baltimore Pyrate Invasion!

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Cap'n Jewbeard

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Avast! And I mean really a-freakin'-vast here!

On Saturday the 28th (this Saturday), people in the MD -DE- VA area are encouraged to come out and join your old friend Cap'n Jewbeard for the 3rd annual Fell's Point (Baltimore) Pyrate Invasion!

What is it? Basically this:

From 11:00 AM to 9:00 PM: Pirate-themed family-friendly fun, carnival-style atmosphere, games, song, exhibitions in the streets of the historica Fell's Point neighborhood in Baltimore (which hosted its own share of pirates back in the day). The Point is also Baltimore's BEST drinking district.

Also, for those of us unencumbered by children, or with patient and loving spouses, the drinking begins at 11:00 AM Promptly. (Well, that's Prompt... but on Pirate Time.)

From 9:00 PM to whenever the bars close/the last pirate loses consciousness: Roughly 300-500 people dressed as pirates (or pirates on the inside, civilians on the outside) roam the streets of Fell's Point, drinking and cursing and perhaps brawling with some ninjas, who I'm also bringing along.

My plan is to drink continuously for at least 16 hours, but you are under no obligation to do so. However, if you are in the area, I'd love for you to come out and join us for a while, whether during the day or in the even-tide. Just look for me and mine - my crew will be congregated under a giant Cap'n Jewbeard flag. You know my logo by now.

If you wish to join us, you don't have to make any special arrangements - unless you want to stay over in Fell's (which we're doing) - but I'd like to know to look out for you and say "hey", if you want to let me know you're coming.

Here's the official link- see you there!

Also- there will be women of a busty and lusty nature. I assure ye this.

-Edit- ALSO. The event is co-sponsored by Clipper City brewing, Baltimore's finest brewery. They will be all over this like scurvy on a thrice-cursed Spaniard. Drink up, me hearties. But don't heave on the wenches.

- Jewbeard.
 
OK. I'm not in the habit of doing bumps all that much (I know some of you can disprove me on that... but everyone else, just go with it).

I will simply say this. If you come to the Pyrate Invasion (and drink with us), you stand an upward of 90% chance of meeting this fine lady:

n15209006_31028189_8599.jpg


We're talking Busty. Lusty. Wenches. Y'all.
 
got to pick up the SWMBO from BWI.....who the hell knows, the whole day is up in the air
 
Yeah man- surprise her! Bring her along, hand her something lacy and low-cut to change into on the way there.

While we're on the subject: I'm looking to write up a sheet with appropriate piratical toasts on it, so that we can just read of fthe sheet while we're drunk.

The only one I've got so far (granted I've not been thinking on it too long), is:

"To the damnation of the King!"

Any suggestions for more?
 
My god. You are one crazy bastard.

Of course, now that I know this I have to go find my ninja suit. Ever seen a fat ninja? NO! BECAUSE WE ARE THAT DAMN GOOD!

If'n I can make it, this sounds like fun.
 
Check this one out - much better for the budding ninja-to-be:
http://www.realultimatepower.net/

Of course, this is all funny considering I've been wanting to buy a video cam and tape us brewing (while dressed like ninjas) and having the "Ninja Brewing Video Podcast."

It's still a pipe dream, as cameras are damn expensive....
 
Also because ninjas become paralyzed with fear at the mere sight of a swaggering pirate. Except for their bladders - those do not become paralyzed. It is wet... and the ninja are dishonored.
 
Let me just reiterate that this will be the most fun ever experienced by the drinking public at large. Ever.

C'mon folks, let's show some HBT pride! And then let's drink. And break things.
 
And let me just add this note from Saturday Night Live (which is not funny, except for this):

 
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