Worst Dumb Mistake You've Made While Drunk?

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Jekster

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Well, this weekend I had one too many drinks and ended up on a drunken walk home from the bars. I left my friends, got a bit lost on the way managed to lose my glasses in the dark on the way. The frames and lenses cost me around $300 and I'd had them for about a year and a half before I lost them.

Needless to say I'm a little disappointed in myself although I am glad that something worse didn't happen. It's also lesson learned, all be it expensive, that I need to be a bit more careful when it comes around to policing my drinks when I'm out.

Alright, anyone else want to share their drunken debauchery since I know most people probably have at least one story they wish they could erase...

Also, this isn't meant to stir up bad blood. My story is stupid, and cost me some cash, but in the end it's not too horrible. I know there are many worse stories out there and I'm not trying to make anyone share a story they are not comfortable with sharing. Hopefully we can share some laughs and feel better that we are not the only one to make a mistake.
 
When I was in college, I got so hammered and woke up in the middle of the night and peed on my girlfriend's roommates head. The next morning, I had no recollection of it whatsover. That's probably my worst.
 
Too many to talk about.. But, one involved putting on full firefighter bunker gear helmet and all, and jumping off a diving board into the deep end of a pool... Good thing im a good swimmer.
 
when i was in the navy i ended up on the smoke deck passed out with my pants down. i had one hand on a cig and the other on my private. wonder what i was doing? i got up the next mourning and couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing at me when i passed by them.
 
I love everyone stories so far. Here is a quick one, I got a few I'll try to remember.

2 Years ago on New Years Eve I got wasted and woke up on the living room floor the next day with a half eaten "Hot Pocket" in my hand.
 
Professor Frink said:
When I was in college, I got so hammered and woke up in the middle of the night and peed on my girlfriend's roommates head. The next morning, I had no recollection of it whatsover. That's probably my worst.

We've got a winner!
 
Nothing. I've never done anything regrettable like this because I've never abused alcohol in any way. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

I'll take the 5th.
 
nothing too major but here are a few:
I managed to lose a monthly train pass worth over a hundred dollars fortunately it was like the 28th of the month and the pass was almost expired anyway.
I woke up with my head hanging of the edge of a couch and my teeth pressed against a hard piece of wood, my teeth hurt for about a week.
I got really drunk the night before a math final. I was up drinking until 4 maybe 5 am. fortunately i took the test sitting at one of those old fashioned desks where the desktop is hinged and has a storage space under it, I was in the back of the room and threw up in the desk without anyone noticing. the end result was a 70% on the test, not that bad considering.
 
Sean said:
I spent the night in an oak tree!!
HAHAHAHA I swear I saw you on cops!!!!!!


Well as far as my worst....

How about I tell one about my friend. It was St. Patty's day a few years back, and all of my friends were out drinking and carrying on at my friends house. It was one of those night's (please someone back me up on this) that the beer just didn't taste good (I had know idea about HB at this point, young and dumb). So my one buddy starts carrying on about wanting to go to Virginia Tech. We all live in Nothern Va so this is about a 4.5 hour drive. Its going on 1:30 or so in the morning and I'm the only sober person in sight, having maybe 2 drinks all night. So my buddy says 'to hell with ya'll' and heads for his truck. I run out and stop him, the obvious thing to do. Well I get suckered into drinking his drunk ass all the way to Va Tech. I was hopong he would pass out quick after we left so I could turn around and bring him home. Well we get to Va Tech and it's about 5 or 6 in the morning. We get there, my buddy passes out right when we walk in the door. I have a beer or to and fall asleep to. I wake up to butt cheek on my head, and its 9 in the morning. My buddy tells me, and I quote " I have to be to work at 11. If I don't show I'm fired"....... So back in the truck.

Then the bad part happens.....

We're driving back to NOVA and about 30 minutes into the trip we get pulled over for speeding. The cop runs my friend ID and his licence is suspended......So I get back in the driver seat and drive the rest of the way home....

My worst night of "NOT" drinking ever
 
My freshman year in college, I went to a party a few blocks off campus and proceeded to drink most of a bottle of Goldshlager. Evil, evil stuff, that. So, anyway, to back it up a little bit, the dorms were on the other side of campus from the side closest to us, and in between me and the dorms were the architecture studios where I spent most of my time. In those studios, there were the desk areas and the lecture studios, some of which had couches.

Well, um, lucky for me it was a weekend night.

One moment, I'm getting wrecked at the party...next thing I know, it's morning, and I wake up on the couch in one of the lecture rooms with my hand wrapped around my junk. As in, unzipped. I sh*t you not. I spent the next 4-1/2 years of architecture school wondering if anyone saw me that morning laying there with my dick in my hand. I looked around the building and didn't see anyone, but you never know. You never know.
 
Tried PERSISTANTLY to light my friend's drapes, carpet, couch on fire with a lighter while blacked out in the wee hours of the morn. No recolection of it when they later described holding me down. Lucky they all thought it was funny!
 
I don't have anything major.
One time I pissed on someone's escalade outside of the bar(don't remember of course). But I was drinking for free that night for designing the owner's website so I was going to get my share of drinks in for free being the cheapskate that I am.
Oh yeah Almost forgot.

When I was getting ready to deploy a friend and I went out to a small bar to get some drinks. Long story short we end up going to some guy's (never met before)house and kept drinking. I got pretty smashed and the dude kept telling me I should go lay down. I told him I was OK but eventually gave in. Once I was laying down the room started spinning and I threw up off the side of the bed. The clincher is, the dude's cat was laying there. So I puked all over his cat. I immediately got up, grabed my friend, and we got a cab back to base. Never saw the guy again. Wondering what ever happened when he found the cat.
 
I've passed out in an alleyway in my own vomit.

I've slept with some women i wouldn't normally talk to.

I've pissed in various places thinking they were urinals (never anyone's head tho, lol)

I've gotten the **** kicked out of me a couple of times...one time for simply flicking a cigarette next to a guys car (i think he was just taking advantage of the situation, prick)

I've been pretty good for the last few years, BUT!...

recently, i was on my way home from a bar and decided to take a "shortcut" (in oakland, no less.) i got lost. once i discovered i didn't know where the **** i was and i didn't have any other real choices (in my drunken mind), i found a nice quiet tree to hide under and decided to take a nap. The people that owned the tree didn't take kindly to that, they called the cops on me.

The cops were cool, though. After they searched me and heard my story, they gave me a ride home :D
 
One night my boyfriend and I decide to have cosmos, so we get a bottle of vodka, and some cranberry juice. About a drink in, we decide we probably need something to eat, so we go to the store just down the road. In our mildly buzzed state, we end up with corned beef and cabbage. 5-6 cosmos later and no food in our stomachs(corned beef has to boil for HOURS), the corned beef is done. My boyfriend's passed out, and I manage to make 2 plates, and that's the last I remember. We wake up the next morning to almost no corned beef, and me feeling very full. All we could figure is that in my blacked out state, I consumed 90% of the corned beef and then passed out. about 6 hours after waking up, I threw up corned beef.

I also drank while I was writing a paper for an art history class on whether Da Vinci or Michaelangelo was a better artist. I remember the first 2 pages out of 7, but I got a 92% on the test the next morning and a 95% on the paper. I also vaguely remember running downstairs (to our rec room where 10-15 people were watching a movie) completely nude to ask them to turn the volume down so I could sleep.

I don't drink like that anymore.
 
DeathBrewer said:
I've gotten the **** kicked out of me a couple of times...one time for simply flicking a cigarette next to a guys car (i think he was just taking advantage of the situation, prick)

Dude...that was you?? Sorry about that.

My story...on my bachelor party I was busy at the strip club downing triple red bull and vodka's. Needless to say I was a tad hammered in the end. My friends dragged me home where my wife had them dump me on the floor of our home office. A few hours later I got up off the floor and tried to get to bed. I stumbled backwards into the door frame, striking the back of my head. I was unconcious for about 5 minutes, as my wife was getting ready to call 911 I somehow came out of it.

I f**cking hurt like hell the next day and swore up and down that she had hit me upside the head with a cast iron skillet.
 
Evan! said:
My freshman year in college, I went to a party a few blocks off campus and proceeded to drink most of a bottle of Goldshlager. Evil, evil stuff, that. So, anyway, to back it up a little bit, the dorms were on the other side of campus from the side closest to us, and in between me and the dorms were the architecture studios where I spent most of my time. In those studios, there were the desk areas and the lecture studios, some of which had couches.

Well, um, lucky for me it was a weekend night.

One moment, I'm getting wrecked at the party...next thing I know, it's morning, and I wake up on the couch in one of the lecture rooms with my hand wrapped around my junk. As in, unzipped. I sh*t you not. I spent the next 4-1/2 years of architecture school wondering if anyone saw me that morning laying there with my dick in my hand. I looked around the building and didn't see anyone, but you never know. You never know.

Note to self - do not bring Goldshlager to NHC!
 
Cold night, with nothing to do.. What better to do than have a block party, chop down a tree and have a fire in the middle of the street.
Lubbock2.jpg
 
I'm not sure if this is the dumbest or not, but one St. Patty's day about 10 years ago a few of us hit up Denny's after a 10 hour stint at the local Scottish pub (not Irish I know, but it's the closest that we have in this town). Anyway, I guess I proceeded to tell our waitress what a fat b!tch she was after she told me I couldn't get my hashbrowns smothered, covered, AND with green peppers... then we had a butter pad and syrup fight that eventually got us kicked out.

All of this is according to my buddy's wife, since none of the rest of us were in any condition to remember anything.

OOPS! :p
 
Slept with a person or two that I normally wouldn't...

Decided "Yeah, playing this drinking game with Ouzo is a smart plan!"

Ended up playing bartender at a party while blitzed; this ensured that everyone else was blitzed as well...

Tried to pick a fight with a friend's coworker. I'm normally a very calm, even-keeled person; me deciding that I wanted to kick this guy's butt should have been an indicator as to this guy's personality. He turned out in the long run to deserve a lot more than that, and is probably still in jail as we speak (or at least I hope so).
 
Silviakitty said:
Slept with a person or two that I normally wouldn't...

You know, when hammered I've always been unable to sleep with people I normally would.

One time I decided to lead a team of roof climbers up onto the roof of the house we were partying in. Being team leader it was incumbent on me to find the easiest path to the top of this roof that was far steeper than the normal 4/12 pitch. I cleverly decided to use the edge of the roof as a means of shimmying up. So when friction yielded to gravity I began to slide along this edge. At the last moment I turned so I could take the jump to the ground below and the evestrough tore a large gash along my inner thigh. Had I not turned in time, the boys might still have been dangling like a patio lantern.
 
I don't get smashed too often, and when I do, I don't really do much of anything (stupid or otherwise). When I get druck, I just talk. And talk. And talk. I'm sure I've said my fair share of stupid things that sounded perfectly intelligible at the time. I know that I've had whole conversations that I don't remember at all.

But I guess my worst lapse of judgment was when I was about 14, drunk for the first time. I was at a concert with a few friends and a water bottle filled with vodka. I thought it sounded like a good idea to mosh. Keep in mind, this was Adeema, and their crowd is SCARY. I pretty much went flying and was so drunk that I didn't realize I fell until I hit the floor. One of those "Heeeey, how'd the floor get there?" moments.
 
just after basic i was home on leave and some buddys took me to a party at western mich. i basically drank a fifth of black velvet and yukon jack in about 4-5 hrs. last i remember was pukin in a frying pan. can't even smell yukon jack without gettin queasy.

speakin of peeing on someones head, a coupla buds went to cedar point and rented a trailer for the weekend. after drinking for 6-8 hrs buggy passed out coupla hrs later jason watched him come outta the bedroom toward the restroom he promptly dropped trou and proceeded to pee on the bathroom door. he then tried to climb into bed with jason and his wife. nezt morning jeff came through the hallway and soaked his socks:rockin:
 
I really don't remember doing anything really dumb in the past couple years...I sure don't drink as much as I used to. However, when I was about 15 I was at a church summer camp for a week down on Sunset Beach in Santa Cruz. We took over a couple group campgrounds, but there were other people there. The second to last night of the week, I snuck out with this cute little blondie who had been coming on to me...despite the fact I already had a girlfriend. Both of us and a few more campers snuck out of our tents and visited the strawberry fields next door, got a few handfuls and headed to some of the other campgrounds. We ran into some campers from Chico State who had an ample supply of SN Pale Ale (bless their hearts). I had two and felt drunk for the first time, and then we visited another really creepy guy by himself with a bottle of jack daniels. Me and two of the girls took a shot, then stumbled off into the dark. Long story short...many bad things happened because of that:

1. Cheated on my girlfriend...and she was the sweetest 16 ever
2. I came back to my tent to find the counselor had stolen my sleeping bag...I had to sleep on the cold hard ground.
3. My parents made a surprise visit the next day only to find I had been busted for sneaking out.
4. My parents took me out to seafood (they probably thought that would be a good lesson). It was...almost lost my calimari all over the table.
5. Had to leave camp early for sneaking out, stealing berries, and getting druck.
6. Youth group leader was a good family friend...but he was really pissed and we didn't talk much after that
7. Since my fling was much hotter than my current girlfriend, I dumped her. Next week the fling dumps me for a college guy??? Haha, that's what I get!!!

All in all it was a fun time, and I wouldn't trade those life lessons for anything! :D
 
Okay, rock climbing at night in the Mojave, trying to do that "Clint Eastwood chimney climb" in Eiger Sanction. Could not figure out why it was so damned hard to keep my footing (I ruled out the alcohol of course) Anyhow I kept slipping until I whacked my head on a sand ceiling...WTF? It was the ground. I had gotten turned around in the pitch dark, and climbed down this stupid thing. Then I asked my buddy to light something so I could see what I was doing and he torches this tumbleweed cluster in the crevice I was in. Let me tell you, I've never been to hell, but that was how hot and huge this fire was. I lost all exposed body hair, save my head, and my climbing harness turned to molten plastic and stuck to my jeans.
Don't drink as much anymore, but still love that movie....
 
Wow I have a ton of good ones...high school was insane.
Funny this topic comes up after what has happened to me this past weekend.

Well I dont remember much of it but...

Having a bbq this past weekend over a friends house. Was having a very good time. Was drinking a few Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and some Dogfish 60 Min. Guess I had a few more then I thought. I was outside of my friends house talking and the next thing I know im on the ground bleeding from all over. I was walking I guess and did not see a bush in front of me and walked right into it. Fell right over, slapped my face off the driveway, cut up my whole knee and busted up my shoulder. Now this is not like me. I am not that kind of drunk, im the one sitting on the couch usually with a big smile, or laughing alot or passed out on the lawn or something thats all. So next thing I know im in my friends bathroom getting cleaned up. My face looks awful. After that it is all kinda fuzzy.

I woke up the next morning on my couch in the living room when my girlfriend comes down stairs asking if I remember what happened last night. I said I knew I fell. She then told me that I also fell down our basement steps. Like fell down all of them. Thats when I got up and felt the pain in my back. Now I do not even remember coming home Saturday night and also dont remember falling down stairs.

My whole body hurts. This sux because I work in a emergency room and everyone this week has seen me in the shape im in. Pretty pathetic.

I learned a good leason this past weekend. This does not happen to me alot, it actually never happens to me but I realize I gotta watch myself because next time I could be hurt even worse or even dead.

What a happy story :mug:
 
Well im at work right now and dont have much going on because it is a nice night here so...

While in Germany a few years back woke up on the deck face down in snow while I was ummmmm naked. Dont remember how I got there either. Was drinking with a few people in the hotel bar after the bar closed they opened up some amazing wine and then it went downhill from there...im still wondering to this day how I was naked...
 
Stupidest? Allowed my exwife to come over for some booty call- hour later the girlfriend showed up. Too bad I didnt work it into a 3some!
 
beta pleated sheet said:
I don't get smashed too often, and when I do, I don't really do much of anything (stupid or otherwise). When I get druck, I just talk. And talk. And talk.

Sounds like you'd fit right in in the drucken chat! :D I have several drunken stories, but I'll start off with the one that swore me off whiskey forever.
 
Let's see, we were at a huge bonfire party. This was out in the semi-sticks, with lots of acreage for bonfires. In fact, the host had picked up a few couches and pallets off of craigslist for the bonfire. For sitting on, and burnination of course! :rockin: There's a small almost-ampitheater like gully in the ground where a ton of people can just sit around and watch the flames. It was really awesome.

So a few hours into it, the fire is sorta died down, and we're all druck and happy. I decided that it would be a GREAT idea to jump over the pile of dying embers in the middle of this depression. I proclaim my intentions to the group, and of course no one tried to stop me. Hate them. Anyways, so I walk up the hill, and proceed to run full tilt down towards the fire. Did I mention that we have damp weather here in the Northwest, and the ground is slippery and muddy almost all the time? I plant my foot to leap over the fire, and that's when I slipped in the mud. I flew over the fire, but not upright, oh no. This was almost exactly sideways and horizontal, arms flailing comically in the air. I land hard on the ground on the other side, muddy, dazed and confused, but none the worse for wear. My charming wife yells out YOU ******* and hilarity ensues.
 
At this same party, I decided to be civilized and use the restroom like a proper gentleman instead of relieving himself in the bushes like a savage. I find the bathroom and do my business. As I go to turn the knob to the doorhandle, it pops out into my hand! Curses! So in my inebriated state I try to put the handle back together. I somehow manage to knock the other doorknob off completely. "Great!" I think. "Now I can just push the door open". It's stuck. The locking mechanism for the doorknob is still in the door, and won't come out without tools. I have no tools.

I figure, hey there's like 50 people here, SOMEone else will want to use the bathroom, I'll just wait. Twenty minutes go by. No one. Hmm..... Well, F this, I'm going to break out of here. I see there's a window so I open it, expecting to climb to freedom.

There's bars on the window. I am not amused.

It's not just the up-and-down bars either, it's one solid beam, with a cross-piece horizontal across it. I decide to wait a little longer for rescue. This was before we had cellphones, so I couldn't call for help either.

"**** it I'm not being stuck in the bathroom all night!" I think to myself, in my intoxicated state. I proceed to take my jacket and hat off, and stove them through the open window. I then squeeze my head through, then my arms, then my squishy torso. I had problems getting my legs through, as I didn't want to land headfirst on the aforementioned slippery mud. I finally got through without injury, and went to go find the host. I told him the doorknob came off the bathroom door. He said "OH yea, it does that sometimes." o_O I also told him I had to get out through the window because no one came to rescue me. He looked at me like I'd just sprouted another face and said "There's bars on those windows!" I said yea, but I got through it.

The next day I looked at that window, and there is NO way I would have tried getting through it sober. I swear it was just barely big enough for my head and pelvis to fit through.


But I'm feeling MUCH better now.
 
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