My First Rant

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

slowbie

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 22, 2009
Messages
641
Reaction score
15
Location
Raleigh, NC
Unfortunately, I am 0% druck at this time, but I decided to post this here because it is my favorite area of HBT. Before I start complaining I would like to make a few things clear:

1) This is probably my favorite website on the internet. The help that you guys provide is great, and whether you realize I'm reading it or not, I'm thankful for everything I've learned from you guys and the good on this site far outweighs the bad.

2) I do realize that I am on this little thing called the internet which makes problems like these unavoidable.

3) This is my first attempt at a rant, and since it's also the first one that I've seen that's started with three disclaimers, it's probably going to be pretty weak.

Okay, let's get this going. Why is it that when people post a topic like this, everyone on this forum feels the need to quickly respond to the title without really paying any attention whatsoever to the actual post, much less the NINE PAGES of replies that came after it. It's even worse when this happens in topics where people ask for advice. (e.g. "My hydrometer says that my beer is made of clown piss") and then the first two pages are full of people asking the same questions over and over again ("is your hydrometer calibrated?" "did you check to see if your hydrometer is calibrated?" "did you adjust for temperature") and it's not like these posts are all happening within five minutes of each other. They're often spread out over a day or more while people wait for the OP to respond. And then a response comes and it starts all over again. And yo know what? If it was just cut down to one page over the course of six hours, I'd be okay, because after five pages of discussion they solve the problem ("your wife's new cat is not a hydrometer, and that's not a cat translator, it's one of those reminder recorders that someone recorded the phrase 'your beer tastes like clown piss' into and that's why it says that every time you 'translate' for your 'hydrometer'.). I would be okay with that, except for the fact that this is the point that somebody inevitably replies, starting the sixth page of discussion ('you should check your hydrometer to see if it's calibrated'). The most offensive thread that I've seen along these lines is this one. There are twenty (!) pages of people beating the hell out of this question with the same answers over and over again, many of them offended at the 'harsh' accusation, even though the tone of the actual post which they obviously did not read is curious rather than accusatory. Oh yeah, then there's the minor detail that the OP responded in post number 8 and basically said 'oh I'm so glad you're not alcoholics, great job, I wish I had people to share with like you guys do', which is obviously a great reason for another nineteen pages of people defending themselves against his accusation of them being alcoholics.

I feel like I should write a rant about how terrible this rant is but I'm afraid that would lock me into a never ending cycle of terrible rants.
 
Sounds like you could do with with being a little more drunk.
I'm lucky it's 10 pm here so I am. :)

Most people are here to learn about and talk about brewing. Some answer questions to give back. Some answer to learn, some answer to be heard.
The social interaction is also a big draw.

As for asking repeated questions to an answer then this is because the same questin has normally been seem 100s of times before and the initial post generally does not have enough information to find the problem.
The questions asked normally gve the information to find a solution.

Sorry for the dry response.

Whiskey time.
 
What was the question?

Most of us are just trying to help by educating along the way. A sort of Give a man a fish/Teach a man to fish methodology.

And then there's LGI.
 
Turn on your filter...
You don't need to reply, and after reading a few dozen threads (or just looking a peoples post counts) you can pretty quickly tell who around here is worth listening to and whether an OP is something you may want to follow.

That is all.
 
Okay, here's what I have to say so far:

LGI: hilarious, that's mostly what I was expecting to hear, so thank you

Everyone else: You are mostly people I recognize and I can say that you're definitely not part of the problem and are actually part of the people I am thanking in disclaimer number one. Obviously these questions need to be asked, my problem is when twenty people ask the same question without stopping to think that anyone else has already asked the exact same question five minutes ago.
 
That was a well written rant. clearly laid out as to the nature of the rant, and examples are given to support it. However..... I feel that by laying down disclaimer #1 kinda waters down the rant with too much sucking-up right off the bat. maybe putting that bullet point at the bottom as a "BTW" would have given it more bite.
Overall I give your first rant a grade of B-
 
.
Overall I give your first rant a grade of B-

Have you considered calibrating your rant-o-meter? Most B- rants are due to improper readings, not due to the rants themselves. I'd suggest going to a UFC forum, and calibrating your rant-0-meter to the D- rants there, and then coming back on here and rechecking this rant. Once properly calibrated, we can better advise you on the validity of your rant rating. Otherwise, it's just a guess as to the real rating.

Who taught you how to rant? I would suggest to the OP to find a rant mentor, someone who can lead you through the basic steps of ranting with or without accompanying drunkenness. For a beginner, it's not bad, and I think your first rant will be fine in the end.

:D
 
/rant cancelled due to insufficient extraneous and superfluous references to inane ueless factoids.

Oh, and send me said examples of beer for analysis of being worthy to be called clown piss.
 
Have you considered calibrating your rant-o-meter? Most B- rants are due to improper readings, not due to the rants themselves. I'd suggest going to a UFC forum, and calibrating your rant-0-meter to the D- rants there, and then coming back on here and rechecking this rant. Once properly calibrated, we can better advise you on the validity of your rant rating. Otherwise, it's just a guess as to the real rating.

Who taught you how to rant? I would suggest to the OP to find a rant mentor, someone who can lead you through the basic steps of ranting with or without accompanying drunkenness. For a beginner, it's not bad, and I think your first rant will be fine in the end.

:D

Well, little miss pants :D, I felt that since this was his first rant I should not be as harsh on him as I could be, ranting is a skill that needs to be developed over time and grading it too low may discourage further ranting or worse yet develop poor ranting skills by shortcutting. I do agree that there needs to be mentoring going on, I might suggest Zul'jin for advanced rant mentoring.
 
Well, little miss pants :D, I felt that since this was his first rant I should not be as harsh on him as I could be, ranting is a skill that needs to be developed over time and grading it too low may discourage further ranting or worse yet develop poor ranting skills by shortcutting. I do agree that there needs to be mentoring going on, I might suggest Zul'jin for advanced rant mentoring.

What!? I'll bet you went to public school. Your teachers probably passed you because they didn't want to hurt your self esteem by leaving you a grade behind while all your friends went to the fourth grade. By grading his rant on a curve you are doing him a great disservice. He's in DRMM and fully admitted right off the bat that he is utterly sober.

OP rant = fail.

Everyone knows that the holy grail of epic rants is by Zul'jin.

Read. Study. Learn.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/code-enforcement-52640/
 
I guess I am off base in offering advice so I will sink to the general level here..
1) this is a homebrewing forum, what the hell are you doing sober, and posting in the DRMM? for this alone you should be banned!
2) have you even bothered to read Zul'jin's rants? if you had you would know that a proper rant never starts out with a disclaimer. or even anything close to grammar.

is that a bit better?
 
OMK first off. cheexy demon is yop to like 3 now. make up your mind and be one handle. Your post count will always suck and people wilnt follow your advice because it is to slow. Or maybe youre a imposter of cheesydemon. the false prophet will come and lie!

My frst rant? Really.? You had to sit down and think if ytou were mad and thendecide it was a rant AND YOU KNOW WHAT NUMBE RIT IS AND ITS ONE!? And whats it about? the intetubes and peaolle posting on it?! QQ moar.

I got a 1000$ mug of war beer here and I aint complaining . Cuasr you knwo what? I got purple shoulders tonight.

You got jack. Don't liek how people reply? How bout now? I got homeland security calling me asking if I can see them now. of corse I can! I has a camera and you on it. I SEE YOU! yes you by your four door truck putting on a vest. hows that for see you. I KNOW YOU ARE WY OVER THERE! you dont have to tel me a just told YOU I can see you.

Andyou cannot calibrate a glass tube with little hask marks and no moving or digital parts. You can say it reads so at so anf thats it! start up that again. go ahaed. yo cannot change waht it reads, onmly how you interpret it.

Perception is NOT reality.
 
OMK first off. cheexy demon is yop to like 3 now. make up your mind and be one handle. Your post count will always suck and people wilnt follow your advice because it is to slow. Or maybe youre a imposter of cheesydemon. the false prophet will come and lie!

My frst rant? Really.? You had to sit down and think if ytou were mad and thendecide it was a rant AND YOU KNOW WHAT NUMBE RIT IS AND ITS ONE!? And whats it about? the intetubes and peaolle posting on it?! QQ moar.

I got a 1000$ mug of war beer here and I aint complaining . Cuasr you knwo what? I got purple shoulders tonight.

You got jack. Don't liek how people reply? How bout now? I got homeland security calling me asking if I can see them now. of corse I can! I has a camera and you on it. I SEE YOU! yes you by your four door truck putting on a vest. hows that for see you. I KNOW YOU ARE WY OVER THERE! you dont have to tel me a just told YOU I can see you.

Andyou cannot calibrate a glass tube with little hask marks and no moving or digital parts. You can say it reads so at so anf thats it! start up that again. go ahaed. yo cannot change waht it reads, onmly how you interpret it.

Perception is NOT reality.

Now that is a proper rant. Zul'jin shoots and scores. Again. :rockin:
 
I meancome on. get sometot rant about before you go all saying stuff that only anoys you. And make sureit is really annoying too. your rant annoys me. But you don hear me complaining . i could care less. really. i could. ALOT LESS. But i like you cause you are living the dream man. no prolems but people on the internet. FAKE people. theyre like charecters on a carttoon.

I dont know man, maybe you got real problems like getting worked yup about this stuff. not ME. So if tou want a rant, go do this. I dont even know. I dont know how to find rants. rants find me! thats who it works. you just be doing whatever all minding tour own busines and BAM, boot on yor throat. well, parder, im like that Chinese guy they tried to hang in that book i read, well, read along as i listend to on tape in elementry school (public too!) when they thought I was a slow learner just cause we were poor. Wasnt my fault. I was liek 7. Oh but he is a poor kid he must be dumb. yeah and put e in french the next year cause my reading skillz is mad dope. there is a rant. try being in class with water heads and people talkingto you like you cant phase shift molecular particles just becuase daddy got laid off. but that taught me a lot. you cant hang that China man to death because he gots a steel neck. Me too. come break youe boot.
 
I meancome on. get sometot rant about before you go all saying stuff that only anoys you. And make sureit is really annoying too. your rant annoys me. But you don hear me complaining . i could care less. really. i could. ALOT LESS. But i like you cause you are living the dream man. no prolems but people on the internet. FAKE people. theyre like charecters on a carttoon.

I dont know man, maybe you got real problems like getting worked yup about this stuff. not ME. So if tou want a rant, go do this. I dont even know. I dont know how to find rants. rants find me! thats who it works. you just be doing whatever all minding tour own busines and BAM, boot on yor throat. well, parder, im like that Chinese guy they tried to hang in that book i read, well, read along as i listend to on tape in elementry school (public too!) when they thought I was a slow learner just cause we were poor. Wasnt my fault. I was liek 7. Oh but he is a poor kid he must be dumb. yeah and put e in french the next year cause my reading skillz is mad dope. there is a rant. try being in class with water heads and people talkingto you like you cant phase shift molecular particles just becuase daddy got laid off. but that taught me a lot. you cant hang that China man to death because he gots a steel neck. Me too. come break youe boot.

[bows in reverance of this]
 
Have you considered calibrating your rant-o-meter? Most B- rants are due to improper readings, not due to the rants themselves. I'd suggest going to a UFC forum, and calibrating your rant-0-meter to the D- rants there, and then coming back on here and rechecking this rant. Once properly calibrated, we can better advise you on the validity of your rant rating. Otherwise, it's just a guess as to the real rating.

Who taught you how to rant? I would suggest to the OP to find a rant mentor, someone who can lead you through the basic steps of ranting with or without accompanying drunkenness. For a beginner, it's not bad, and I think your first rant will be fine in the end.

:D

Yoop, what the heck are you doing on UFC forums?
 
Let's talk about this more
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/this

Etymology
Middle English < Old English þis (neuter demonstrative) < North Sea Germanic base *þa- < Proto-Germanic *that < Proto-Indo-European *tód, extended form of demonstrative base *to-; + North Sea Germanic definitive suffix -s < Proto-Indo-European *só (&#8220;this, that&#8221;).

Pronunciation
enPA: th&#301;s, IPA: /ð&#618;s/, SAMPA: /DIs/

Rhymes: -&#618;s

Pronoun
this (plural these)
The thing, item, etc. being indicated.
This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune,&#8212;often the surfeit of our own behaviour,&#8212;we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as if we were villains on necessity; fools by heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical pre-dominance; drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforced obedience of planetary influence; and all that we are evil in, by a divine thrusting on: an admirable evasion of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish disposition to the charge of a star! &#8212; Shakespeare, King Lear, Act 1. Scene 2.

Determiner
this (plural these)
The (thing) here (used in indicating something or someone nearby).
This classroom is where I learned to read and write.
The known (thing) (used in indicating something or someone just mentioned).
They give the appearance of knowing what they're doing. It's this appearance that lets them get away with so much.
The known (thing) (used in indicating something or someone about to be mentioned).
When asked what he wanted for his birthday, he gave this reply: &#8220;[&#8230;]&#8221;
A known (thing) (used in first mentioning a person or thing that the speaker does not think is known to the audience).
I met this woman the other day who's allergic to wheat. I didn't even know that was possible!

Related terms
that, these, those

Anagrams
hist, Hist, hits, sith, tish, Tish
 
You just have to realise that some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
 
Ok, so after reading maybe half of the first page, I decided to reply.
You need to be more understanding. There's no room here for intolerance. That belongs in the Debate forum.
And, I've always thought clown piss tasted "funny".
 
Your post body is way too long I couldn't be bothered to read it... but based on your title you are ranting about something I do not care about. :)
 
Zul'jin knows who I am.......heh....hehheh.....hehhehheh..................

Is it really me? My never ending traffic rant was good, but not great, my rant on the word "irregardless" saved some people's lives.

But because of you, I do nothing all day, but sit on the couch on my front porch and KICK PEOPLE IN THE PIT!!!!!
 
whatever, im not an alcoholic

You want to bet? Youre an alcohlic and a crimininal and metaly unstable. Answer me enouh questions and youll see. A damn devient. You aer. Buy worry. its not OK. eveyone is. You me your momma that dog this cat thoae dan scoprions, all of us. Its like chemicals. were all chemicals.

Perception is NOt reality. Percetion can be wrong. it can be opinion. only reality can be real. the earth didnt used to be flat. peole perceved it was. it was round then, its round now.
 
This thread is about 70's rock bands right?

 
Last edited:

Latest posts

Back
Top