Lacto Usage in Secondary

I am playing with the idea of splitting a batch of Kolsch and souring one half (bottling the other). Now the idea would be to introduce the lacto bacteria in secondary and let it sit for a few months.

My questions are:
1. Is this a good idea?
2. How long does carbing take after souring?
3. The schedule. This is the one I am most worried about. If I brew up the main batch in November and start souring late November, could I bottle the beer in April to have it ready by late May?*

*The idea behind the schedule is to have it ready for my father's 60th. He is from Cologne, so I plan on making 10 gallons of Kolsch for his party (maybe dry-hop one of the carboys too) and figure I need to make at least one test batch to make sure my recipe is good (this test recipe would be split for the souring).

The other idea is this: split the batch and toss 1 qt of soured mash (pasteurized after souring for a week) into the 2.5 gal and let that rest for a few months before bottling.

Any ideas ye masters of funk out there?

I would think that there would be nothing for the lacto to eat. Maybe an addition of lactose would be needed. I couldn't begin to tell you how much though.

Oh I was under the impression that lacto could digest sugars that sacc couldn't.

So maybe my second idea is a better one: to combine a highly soured un-hopped, pasteurized quart to 2.5 gallons of finished Kolsch, and then let it sit for some time to mellow?

I have lots of questions about lacto fermentation: temperature, oxygen, etc. and am having trouble finding answers.

I want to try and get something like Das Wunderkind from Jester King.

Lacto doesn't like hops or alcohol. So by adding it after fermentation it is going to be slow if it works at all. We are talking about a couple of years to get anything decently sour.

I don't know that there will not be anything for the lacto to work on. I think it would go at some of the sugars, but it can be particular with the sugars it will convert.

If you don't want the smell or mess with a sour mash, just add the Lacto to the wort, and leave it a week before adding any yeast. The wort will need to be very low in hops.

The problem with mixing sour with regular beer is that you dilute the sourness.

I am not looking for a lot of sourness, just a nice little tinge. I think I am going a bit nuts with ideas and I am not sure if they will work.

If I end up doing a sour, I think it will be with the 0.5-1 gal lacto added to 3 gal of finished Kolsch. Then leave that for 4-5 months to mature.

Of course I could also just finish it with Brett instead. The FG should be around 1.010, so maybe I would get a little sour flavor from that as well.

Part of the idea is that I want to test out a Kolsch recipe, but don't necessarily want 5 gallons. The remaining 2-3 gallons I want to do some sort of experiment with and it seems like an interesting idea to using some bugs or brett.

Basically here is my crazy new idea:

1. Brew up 5 gallons of Kolsch (OG ~1.045, FG ~1.012, 20-25 IBU)
2. Ferment and finish the Kolsch (including cold lagering)
3. A week before the Kolsch is done make a 0.5-1 gal lacto batch (OG ~1.035 no hops), keep warm during fermentation to increase sourness
4. Day Kolsch is done pasteurize the lacto wort (maybe even do a hop stand to get some more hop aroma into; thinking Nelson Sauvin)
5. Pull off 2 gallons of the Kolsch and bottle it
6. Add the pasteurized lacto wort into the remaining Kolsch
7.a. Allow to mature for a few months at a low temperature
7.b. Add Brett and ferment low, allow to mature for a few months
8. Bottle (carb using corn sugar)

Step 7 is just to think about the options. I was thinking a Kolsch would be a good place to test out some souring because it is very neutral and clean. This would allow some tartness and sourness to shine through.

Other ideas include using a lacto, pedio and brett mix in the sour gallon.

So am I crazy? Am I wasting everyone's time?

Pull the three gallons then add dregs from some commercial sours. I like using jolly pumpkin dregs. The brett and pedio in there will allow the beer to super attenuate and add add funkiness along the way.