Do your wives get mad?

I ordered an extract kit and bottling bucket today. I then thought about how hard my wife is going to ***** when she gets home. I called and tried to cancel the order until I soften her up a little but the order was already being processed. Does anyone else have this problem?

You mean, wives DO have another state of being?

I always thought that was "Hollywood Acting" to sell films.

I don't usually tell my SWMBO what I've bought or how much something costs. I play dumb unless she brings it up. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. I wear the pants in the family!







When she's not home that is....

No. She has her hobbies, I have mine and we have ours. Now, if I were to extoll the virtues of Ag vs extract then she'd roll her eyes and wander somewhere else.

B

My wife and I never combined our bank accounts. As long as we each have enough money for our half of the communal stuff, the rest is for us to do as we please. So, in other words, no, my wife doesn't care how much I spend on brewing. How much space in the basement I take up with equipment is another story

BenVanned said:

I ordered an extract kit and bottling bucket today. I then thought about how hard my wife is going to ***** when she gets home. I called and tried to cancel the order until I soften her up a little but the order was already being processed. Does anyone else have this problem?

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did you just spend the food money on brewing supplies?

Just set up a budget for hobbies for each of you and agree to it. Then if it's within your amount she can't *****.

Edit: well she can, but at least you can say that she agreed to it...

She does her thing, like bingo, I do my thing, like homebrew. As long as the bills get paid, neither of us bitches about what the other does with the extra money.

bknifefight said:

My wife and I never combined our bank accounts.

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Same here, my wife has her account and I have mine. However, I pay the rent, gas, electric, phone, internet, and cable bills and I've shoved it in her face many times when she's complained about money or having to pay for something. She handles getting all the household stuff like dog food, wee-wee pads, swiffer pads, shampoo, etc - you get the point. We alternate who's paying for dinners and such each other week.

Besides, you didn't seem to spend much ordering a bucket and an extract kit. Wait till you order a Bichmann kettle, a grain mill, a mash tun, etc. That adds up, but once you have it you're set and save even more money per batch.


Rev.

I don't know enough about your financial situation. Perhaps she is in the right to "*****".

Or maybe not...

Nope. I love my wife and we seldom even talk with raised voices. I try hard to support my wifes hobbies and I expect the same in return. I do not feel like I need to explain every little purchase to her but I will not spend more than $50 without talking to her about it. She does the same for me. Being a team is great. I do understand that not everyone is like this.

FWIW, you can order a spigot, then head over to Home Depot (or the next time you are near one) and get a translucent, HDPE #2, 5 gallon bucket for $5ish and the lid is $3ish. I will guess that will be CRAZY less cash than what you were planning to spend. Granted you will need to install the spigot yourself but I am sure you can use a drill and if not you know someone that can...

I find the DIY side of this hobby save me a lot of cash and having those talks with the wife on why I need to spend over $50 on something...

I wish you the best of luck.

My wife has an odd fetish. She likes to dress up like herself and then act like an impossible ***** all the time.

Gregscsu said:

My wife has an odd fetish. She likes to dress up like herself and then act like an impossible ***** all the time.

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Awesome? lol

My wife does not complain about me buying brewing supplies, but I have noticed that the more I buy the more of her trinkets she buys also... That is fine with me, it seems fair...

Gregscsu said:

My wife has an odd fetish. She likes to dress up like herself and then act like an impossible ***** all the time.

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You just made work a lot easier.

My wife does not say a word about anything I purchase. Probably because I don't say a word about the stuff she purchases. This is obviously all within reason, if I/we were going to spend more than $300-400 than we would talk about it.

A bottling bucket and a kit even if your broke is a pretty small purchase no reason for an argument over that.

My wife doesn't complain...keeps me out of her hair and keeps me busy...Plus, I manage the finances, so as long as she gets what she needs/wants, I got no worries.

my wife has things she likes to spend big bucks on (clothing, hair, etc) so I never say anything about it. Likewise with her and my brewing. I usually mention what I'm thinking about doing, which currently is moving to kegging and doing a keezer build, and she supports me.

The wife is happy when i spend money on my hobbies as it makes her fell less guilty about the fact that she out spends me 2:1 on her hobbies.

Wow... my wife has a job, and I have a job. I pay ALL the bills...she saves money and pays for dinners/trips/hobbies. Call it the "good helper" system... whatever money is left over is ours to do whatever we please. We don't even share our bank accounts...

It's all about balance. If your wife is getting pissed about purchases like that, then you lack balance in your relationship--specifically financial balance. Arguements always stem from deeper issues (especially financial ones)...trust me, this is not my first rodeo.

I do agree with the perspectives on this thread-- you need to set BOUNDARIES and EXPECTATIONS... then "gently" remind her of them when necessary.

Otherwise, you'll be using all your brewing/hobby money on paying a shrink...haha--seriously, that was my life 2 years ago.

My Wife bought me a SABCO Brew-Magic complete system...and that all I have to say about that!

Edited: To cover my ass.

I love my SWMBO.

To answer the original question, sometimes...sometimes...

More than the money, I think it's the perpetual "next" thing on my list that bothers her. Oh well, we'll both survive. But I think we may need to add onto the house soon.

Most I get is "I wish you spent as much effort on finishing the house projects as you do on your beer projects."

Or,

"Tell me again why you are etching circuit boards??"

I bet she doesn't even hear me when I start describing my latest homebrewing project anymore.

I was going to place this order last pay period and I got a long spill about how we are still paying off the t.v. the car payment that was due, christmas, this, that, and the other. Yet every time I turned around it was the bank card getting swiped and not her pay card. I'm going to brew this batch and enjoy it. I even ordered the one she requested. I was so unhappy with my first batch I am eager to brew a new one. May closet some of my equipment and work on my wine making skills for a few months after this since I can make wine at less than a dollar a gallon.

Homercidal said:

I bet she doesn't even hear me when I start describing my latest homebrewing project anymore.

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I don't know that mine ever did

we used to argue about money a lot ... but some bad financial times forced us to make a budget and now the bitching (about money anyway) has stopped ... I get 50 bucks every two weeks to spend on my brewing hobby/store bought beer ... this works for me

nukinfuts29 said:

I don't know that mine ever did

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Mine is nice enough to ask, then once I start talking the eyes glaze over.

At least she is drinking good beer now.

Steelers77 said:

Mine is nece enought to ask, then once I start talking the eyes glaze over.

At least she is drinking good beer now.

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YES! Exactly!! I swear she will ask then 2 minutes later "ramble ramble i don't care i stopped listening five minutes ago don't be spending money on your stupid hobby right now...........are you on that stupid beer forum again?"

Mine asks me about my brewing plans and ideas because she wants to seem interested. She completely tunes me out and rolls her eyes as soon as I start talking though...

She doesn't complain about what I spend on brewing because she "understands" that we are spending much less than it would cost to buy all of the beer I make...nevermind how much our beer intake has gone up. Not to mention that I would be spending money on modding my car otherwise.

Gregscsu said:

My wife has an odd fetish. She likes to dress up like herself and then act like an impossible ***** all the time.

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Now that is funny as hell.

My wife just needs a heads up that I have a brew coming up. If the dollars aren't lined up, she will wave me off until next payday. I am the first one to NOT spend money though. I am not cheap, I just appreciate the value of a dollar. As my brother often points out, we grew up so poor we had to jerk off to feed the cats. That kind of changes how you spend.

My wife loves that I have a hobby like homebrewing. She is happy that I'm happy. She was not so happy when I kept buying more and more equipment to make my session's better. It all add's up totally understandable. Now she is happy again because I have all I need for the most part. Until I start building a 3 tier system muhahaha. Now she only complains that I want to brew every weekend. But hey, my excuse is all the moocher's/friends. Even though I consume 98% of all my brews.

J8D said:

As my brother often points out, we grew up so poor we had to jerk off to feed the cats. That kind of changes how you spend.

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I'm not laughing at your childhood, but THAT is funny hahahaha

Mine bitched about it all the time. So, I got a new one. This one is hotter any way. And I have more beer now. Now, that is an upgrade!

Homercidal said:

Most I get is "I wish you spent as much effort on finishing the house projects as you do on your beer projects."

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I'm getting this a lot lately... Just because it's going on 5 years to finish our daughter's dresser and 2.5 years to finish our backyard patio doesn't give her right to complain. Besides, I shouldn't be using power-tools drunk.

Actually the only real ***** my wife has is about the amount of time I spend on brewing, and kegging, and washing yeast, and making starters, and cleaning carboys, etc... I probably need to find a little more balance. Although I will never ***** about the fact that she wants to spend more time with me. I even try to be a prick but she still likes me. Perhaps after another 16 years she will appreciate when my ass in in the garage not bugging her.

dienster said:

I'm getting this a lot lately... Just because it's going on 5 years to finish our daughter's dresser and 2.5 years to finish our backyard patio doesn't give her right to complain. Besides, I shouldn't be using power-tools drunk.

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Right on!

to procrastination!

Between fishing rod wrapping, motorcycle building, gun collecting, and home brewing, Mine usually doesn't comment when I come home with a new trinket, as long as the "Honey Do" list is taken care of. With another kid on the way, I told her I need to build a new brew stand to replace my 2 vessel RIMS system before the kid comes. She rolled her eyes but knows its just one more thing to keep me home. About every other month I try and buy her something as well, shes gonna buy it anyways but makes her know I care.

Tools & drunk = bad

Leaving brewing supplies in the kitchen, or using something of hers for whatever reason, are really the only sources of argument. If I buy something big, it usually only makes her mad because it's big...not because it costs a lot.

Another source of light contention, is when she gets the urge to cook something right in the middle of my sanitation or kegging session. She wants to use the sink, and I don't want my beer to smell like a seafood buffet...

Another thing that I've noticed, is that whenever there's an odd smell...it always seems to smell like beer to her...and not just beer, but sour beer (and I'm not making lambic). If the garbage disposal smells funky, it's because of beer. If the cat tracks funk through the house, it's beer. If her flowers are dead and the vase water smells like piss...it's beer. All this, because I had one fermenter explode and funk everything from the ceiling down...so every smell in my house is now attributed to my hobby.

My wives don't get mad, and neither do my girlfriends.