Attention dads and moms: how do you raise children in the context of brewing?

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bigbeergeek

bigbeergeek

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I'm a happy brewer, and a very proud daddy of an adorable little 10-month-old named Max. My wife and I just found out last week that baby number two is on his or her way. In the foreseeable future, daddy is going to have to explain what all the noisy tinkering out in the garage is all about, as well as all his fussing about a fizzy beverage that he and mommy seem to enjoy a lot. I like the idea of my (someday older) children eventually seeing dad and mom as models of responsible drinking, appreciating beer as a creative art form as well as a beverage, and perhaps taking part in the process if they're interested. From the teen years forward, brewing will be easy enough to explain to them -- as long as I keep the taps locked, that is!

But actually raising children in the context of making alcohol at home is harder to tack down. How do/did you do it? How do you explain what you're doing without giving the kids a complex with respect to alcohol? I haven't gotten a straight answer from anyone in the three homebrew clubs I participate in, so maybe I can get a little insight here. Thanks for the responses!
 
We've started to talk about this same thing, but since my daughter is only 6 months old, we obviously have a lot of time to come to a consensus.

As far as the hobby itself, that's easy to explain. "Brewing is daddy's hobby and he uses it to create something he enjoys drinking" (or something close to that). A simple statement like that, mixed with letting them help out every so often, will carry you through most of grammar school.

I have no idea what we are going to do once she figures out what it is and wants to try some. Obviously my kids are going to taste alcohol before they are 21; anything else would be hypocritical. But how to approach that is beyond me right now.
 
Thanks for the quick reply airborneguy. In your plans, is daddy making "beer" or "brew" or just a "drink?" Sorry to get so specific right out of the gates, but these are the questions that plague my mind (and probably yours too) with a tiny one suddenly in your life. And the attention that this beverage receives from mom and dad is going to inspire curiosity... probably a lot sooner than we'd like!
 
I don't make a big deal out of it. I brew, my kids know it, they see me and my wife and our friends drinking it. To them, it's just part of the way life is around here. They've tasted it. Neither one likes beer.

We don't treat it as some sort of mythical dragon or a big deal. It's beer. It has alcohol. You're not allowed to partake in any amounts larger than a sip until you're 21 and if I catch you doing so, say your prayers.

In essence, don't attach so much "stuff" to it. They will learn a healthy respect for it simply by your showing respect for it.

No big deal. It certainly should be one of your least concerns when it comes to raising children.
 
bigbeergeek said:
And the attention that this beverage receives from mom and dad is going to inspire curiosity... probably a lot sooner than we'd like!
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Why? They wouldn't be any more curious than if they saw you drinking milk all the time. You know it's beer. They don't know the difference between it and the stuff coming out of the tap at the sink.

So long as you're not fall-down drunk all the time, it's not a major issue.
 
The bigger the deal you make about this, the harder it will be. They will see it from the start. As long as you aren't a fall down drunk they'll never know anything but it and have no reason to have a negative opinion.

Never make a big deal about it and they'll never make a big deal about it.
 
shecky said:
Why? They wouldn't be any more curious than if they saw you drinking milk all the time. You know it's beer. They don't know the difference between it and the stuff coming out of the tap.

So long as you're not fall-down drunk all the time, it's not a major issue.
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I see what you're saying, but I'd imagine a parent drinking milk all the time would inspire the little ones to do it too. In this case it is a parent not just drinking beer, but making it and visibly fussing over the process from time to time. Forget being visibly drunk in front of my kids -- I never plan on that happening until they can join me over a pint! ;) I'm probably just over-thinking the whole matter, but this is something new parents like myself (and airborne) wonder about as we brew or drink while our innocent baby blinks at us from across the room.
 
Give the kid some little kings and bond!


All joking aside I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than you need to. Show them your respect for brewing and alcohol and they'll develop the same respect.
 
My daughter has always been a part of my brewing. She loves to help out. Of course, she was heading into her teens when I started brewing so it's a tad different.

As said before... don't make a big deal out of it and it doesn't have to be a big deal. It's a hobby. It'll seem normal and they'll go to friend's houses and say "What? You're dad BUYS all his beer? That's WIERD!"
 
bigbeergeek said:
I see what you're saying, but I'd imagine a parent drinking milk all the time would inspire the little ones to do it too. In this case it is a parent not just drinking beer, but making it and visibly fussing over the process from time to time. Forget being visibly drunk in front of my kids -- I never plan on that happening until they can join me over a pint! ;) I'm probably just over-thinking the whole matter, but this is something new parents like myself (and airborne) wonder about as we brew or drink while our innocent baby blinks at us from across the room.
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Ok, but a baby would also see you fussing over a stove and cooking. I think you are putting too much stock in this.

My kids are plenty old enough to know what I am doing. They just shrug and move on.
 
Why did I ever even think about it? Brew on, let the little ones fall into place where they may!
 
I completely agree. My stepson is going on 8 and he knows beer is an adult beverage. He says he doesn't like it but he's never tried it. He thinks it smells bad and probably wouldn't try it if we offered it to him. I even try to get him to help me brew and he refuses. I'm sure things will change as he gets older, but if I've learned anything from becoming a parent to a young child literally overnight, it's to take things as they come. Your kids will have very specific personalities, and you'll know what to do when the time comes.
 
I think you have more to worry about than this.

What if you asked the question: "How do you raise children in the context of 'Dad fixing car engines in the garage'?"

Unless you have a family that thinks alcohol in general is 'sinful', then don't worry about it.


...Because, as everyone knows, fixing engines is of the devil.
 
dmbRedGetta said:
I completely agree. My stepson is going on 8 and he knows beer is an adult beverage. He says he doesn't like it but he's never tried it. He thinks it smells bad and probably wouldn't try it if we offered it to him. I even try to get him to help me brew and he refuses. I'm sure things will change as he gets older, but if I've learned anything from becoming a parent to a young child literally overnight, it's to take things as they come. Your kids will have very specific personalities, and you'll know what to do when the time comes.
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Thank you. A well thought out reply my friend.
 
My son is three- he's more interested in the equipment than the process or result. My daughter is 15 months, and is really learning words. I taught her to say beer. Now everything that daddy drinks is beer. But every picture she sees of a boy is Riley(her brother).

I just started brewing, so it is new to them and still has the shine on it, as it does for me too. But I've been drinking beer their entire lives, heck probably contributed TO their being alive if ya know what I mean.

Being a parent is tough, especially in the beginning. Just always have their best interest in mind, and keep it simple. When they become interested in actually drinking, we're gonna have bigger problems (like sex!)
 
I lurk here all the time, but I just had to respond to this. I think you need to figure out how YOU feel about brewing, and the kind of people whose opinions matter to you, and will matter to your child(ren). My own philosophy is pretty open. Beer, wine, mead, and mixed drinks are all "Mommy-Daddy drinks", but my 6yo is welcome to a taste if she asks. Sometimes she likes what's in the glass, sometimes not. But it opens up a dialog to explain WHY it's not okay for her to have her own cup (yet). Eventually, we'll take it further and do age-appropriate "research" on the effects of alcohol on developing humans. But for now, a simple "It's not for you" is sufficient.

My personal belief is that parents are responsible to teach their children to drink responsibly. Homebrewing provides a wonderful venue for open, honest, and ongoing discussions about alcohol consumption and potential social/economic impacts. It also provides an excellent opportunity to teach a child how to respect their efforts and others too. When a friend spends time painting a great picture in art class, my daughter doesn't go scribble all over it, and when we brew, she doesn't pour it all over the house and play in it. As she gets older, our hope is that she'll respect the time and energy that goes into good beer (wine/mead/etc.) and imbibe moderately - for enjoyment.

On a very basic level, my 6yo likes to eat the grains when Daddy brings her to the beer store. And she likes to wear a funnel as a hat and use the long spoon to stir an empty bucket. She's like a mad scientist. And she loses interest about 20 minutes into the initial boil.
 
Both of my boys have been around homebrewing since they were born. Neither one of them really liked the taste until they were 18 to 19. Did they steal beer every now and then. Yeah, probably. Did they steal a cigarette or two, yeah probably. I have always told them, when you get old enough to make your own decisions about your life, then you can drink (smoke, etc.) any time you like. I equate being able to make your own decisions to emancipated. Once I'm not responsible for your actions, it's up to you. Until that time, it's up to me to set a good example. By the way, both of my boys are grown, the youngest almost out of college and both of them are damned fine brewers!
 
granary said:
I lurk here all the time, but I just had to respond to this. I think you need to figure out how YOU feel about brewing, and the kind of people whose opinions matter to you, and will matter to your child(ren). My own philosophy is pretty open. Beer, wine, mead, and mixed drinks are all "Mommy-Daddy drinks", but my 6yo is welcome to a taste if she asks. Sometimes she likes what's in the glass, sometimes not. But it opens up a dialog to explain WHY it's not okay for her to have her own cup (yet). Eventually, we'll take it further and do age-appropriate "research" on the effects of alcohol on developing humans. But for now, a simple "It's not for you" is sufficient.

My personal belief is that parents are responsible to teach their children to drink responsibly. Homebrewing provides a wonderful venue for open, honest, and ongoing discussions about alcohol consumption and potential social/economic impacts. It also provides an excellent opportunity to teach a child how to respect their efforts and others too. When a friend spends time painting a great picture in art class, my daughter doesn't go scribble all over it, and when we brew, she doesn't pour it all over the house and play in it. As she gets older, our hope is that she'll respect the time and energy that goes into good beer (wine/mead/etc.) and imbibe moderately - for enjoyment.

On a very basic level, my 6yo likes to eat the grains when Daddy brings her to the beer store. And she likes to wear a funnel as a hat and use the long spoon to stir an empty bucket. She's like a mad scientist. And she loses interest about 20 minutes into the initial boil.
Click to expand...

I fully share your perspective on this.
 
Dwain said:
Both of my boys have been around homebrewing since they were born. Neither one of them really liked the taste until they were 18 to 19. Did they steal beer every now and then. Yeah, probably. Did they steal a cigarette or two, yeah probably. I have always told them, when you get old enough to make your own decisions about your life, then you can drink (smoke, etc.) any time you like. I equate being able to make your own decisions to emancipated. Once I'm not responsible for your actions, it's up to you. Until that time, it's up to me to set a good example. By the way, both of my boys are grown, the youngest almost out of college and both of them are damned fine brewer's!
Click to expand...

That's how I'd like to imagine "the later years" of being a parent who also happens to brew as a hobby -- raise intelligent children who respect alcohol, and maybe even share the hobby someday.
 
I've been brewing since my 6 year old daughter was 4. She knows that I brew beer and that me and her mom enjoy beer. She's allowed a sip every once in a while - sometimes she likes it, sometimes she doesn't.

The way I figure it, my wife and I were VERY sheltered as kids. As a result, when we hit the rebellion stage we each made very stupid decisions in regards to alcohol. My hope is that since alcohol is no big deal in this house she wont be that stupid college kid having too many beers at the party...
 
TXCurtis said:
The way I figure it, my wife and I were VERY sheltered as kids. As a result, when we hit the rebellion stage we each made very stupid decisions in regards to alcohol. My hope is that since alcohol is no big deal in this house she wont be that stupid college kid having too many beers at the party...
Click to expand...

I was one of those too. I also had a buddy in high school who was allowed to drink at home so at parties drinking wasn't a big deal to him and was very responsible about it (well most of the time). My two have been helping me since they were 5 and 7, steeping grains, bottling, etc. They've seen my wife and I drink, they've also seen me hungover on the rare occasion I have too many and are aware of what happens when you have too many. I offer them a taste of different things, and like anything sometimes they like it and sometimes they don't.
 
Control what you can control. My seven year old loves to help. She sees my hop garden and brewing like mom's vegetable garden and cooking. Yes, she knows what beer is and what it can do. I don't hide anything. I want her to hear the truth from me instead of something made up from someone else. She has full range on the questions she can ask. It is amazing how deep a 7 year old can think. I know these conversations will be on more important subjects down the road. Hopefully I have built some trust and openess with her for the bigger subjects that are coming my way soon.

When you have a daughter you see the world alot different than before.
 
What I would do is just have an open and honest dialog about what you're doing and allow the OCCASIONAL taste to them. I was lucky to have had parents who allowed me the occasional beer or glass of wine with dinner. It taught me not to be afraid of alcohol and how to drink in a controlled and moderated manner. Like anything else, there were slip ups and incidents with overindulgence but those were fewer than they would have been otherwise.

If you have a freed up keg allow them to make soda or a fizzy fruit drink to teach them about carbonation and make them feel more comfortable about the brewing experience and the creativity involved with it. Hell, everyone likes a good root beer.
 
My four year old son is my brewsistant, he's more than happy to be doing something for a few hours with dad. I'm not going to worry about the alcohol aspect until he gets older, although he does know that beer is "daddy's" and root beer is his.
 
All my kids ask if I am making beer. I tell them the truth and since no one in my house falls down drunk, its not a big deal. All of them have tried it from my 5 yo to my 14 yo. My older ones don't even care anymore and the younger ones don't understand the concept of alcohol so its just like soda to them since they only get a sip. Expose them young so its not a taboo subject to be discovered later in high school or college through binging
 
Making brew is no different than harvesting a garden for dinner, making a sweater, or washing your own car. It is a choice to do differently than mainstream and save a few sheckles. My oldest is 10 and my first brew was when she was in the womb.

They say education and upbringing starts in the home and homebrewing is no different. My girls both help out with batches and their reward is homemade soda.
 
Like Dwain, both of my boys have been around homebrewing since they were born. We also make lots of other stuff ourselves. They are now 19 & 21 and in college. We are German, so drinking beer or wine is just a typical part of a meal for us. It is also fairly common for German children to have a little beer mixed with cola or Fanta, so we never felt the need to keep it from them or tell them its for adults only. Even though its never been taboo for my boys, they never really had a taste for beer/wine when they were young either. We never drink to intoxication, and when we go out, we decide who drinks and who drives.

My youngest has no interest in alcohol whatsoever. My older son has a beer occassionaly, as was interested in homebrewing, which is what brought me back to the hobby after an almost 7 year respite.

I think if you have a healthy attitude towards beer and brewing, there doesn't doesn't have to be any stigma about it.
 
I have a newborn and 3 year old who is my "Bottling and Production Line Supervisor". I think that homebrewing is a great hobby and can be well used to educate children. My three year old son can explain to you in pretty good detail what fermentation is and how beer is made. Personally, I think that's pretty great.

I want my children to have an understanding and appreciation for what alcohol is. I want them to be able to see it as something more than just a thing that gets you drunk.

I believe the reason that adolescents act so irresponsibly with alcohol is because it's something that's so stigmatized by adults. At least that's how it was for me. My parents told me that "drinking was bad and you should only do it when you're old enough".... So then at my first taste of freedom I would get hammered on swill. And that's something I want to avoid with my son.
 
I taught my 3 year old son how to count by counting bottles as I bottled beer.

My advice, don't make a big deal about it. Both my boys ask me what I'm doing and I simply tell them "daddy's making beer".

Sometimes my 3 year old will ask more detailed questions about the process and I do my best to explain it too him in a way a 3 year old can understand.

Don't sweat it your kid will fine.
 

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