I grew a beard...

What kind of improvement in my brewing can I expect to see?

Well report back if it helps.
Maybe I'll give it a try.
Seems to be the homebrewer thing.

Mb2658 said:

What kind of improvement in my brewing can I expect to see?

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I would say ten fold.

5% improvemnt in efficiency, quicker brew day, and people asking you beer questions.

You will also notice the cute females looking at you dreamily factor go up by 10 fold

You should get a 10% improvement in efficiency and a 5% improvement in yeast attenuation. Plus, now you have the option of pitching yeast from your beard.

Nice work. I have a long goatee and I get my best brew results when I braid it. More likely to hit the target OG, I don't miss my hop additions, etc. Smart move sir.

what you have, sir, is a Facial Yeast Slant. all you gotta do is shake the face to pitch the yeast.

Im culturing pacman and conan in my beard.. I thought i was the only one.

I wanted to add that this is only half a joke.. If you now drink from a juice container after having a beer you will find that it ferments.. im not joking

One of the side benefits that I never even imagined was how quickly people would respond to my threads, especially this one. The beer Gods really do smile on those who have beards.

You get instant brewmaster kowledge, and bikers will leave you alone.

If I was you, I'd go for the Keisel. The ladies love them. So do the birds.

I think that I am getting inspiration to do a Barbarossa German Alt.

Every year Keisel shaves "The Beard" for charity. Pretty good guy from what I understand!

Anyway, true story-- I grew a beard and won a prize at a local home brew competition. So that's got to mean something!

I really want to grow a beard now. I only get weekly stubble before I have to shave for work. Hahah. Sad face.

richlong8020 said:

I really want to grow a beard now. I only get weekly stubble before I have to shave for work. Hahah. Sad face.

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Do it. SWMBO isn't a big fan but if she kicks me out onto the couch, I am that much closer to the beer fridge :cheers:

hell, the only hair I can grow on my face is on my chin. I always hear, "You're lucky you don't have to shave all the time." but what I really hear is, "When are you gonna hit puberty?" I'm thirty-effing-three! damn my dad's genes.

My brewing career has only existed in the presence of my beard so I can't say. I can tell you that the 2-3 times in the last 10 years that I shaved it, I regretted it and grew it back as quickly as possible (it only takes me a week to get some decent coverage thank goodness).

My wife hated it when I first grew one but now if I shave it she says "Grow it back..."

Curse genes for bestowing this beardless face upon me... Now I will never be able to master homebrewing.

SiriusStarr said:

Curse my hairless father for bestowing this beardless face upon me... Now I will never be able to master homebrewing. Do I at least get brewing improvements from patchy stubble?

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A goatee is fine. Stubble will work a little.

Just don't grow a soul patch. That'll make your beer worse.

Actually, you should propbably move to the wine forum if you're going to do that.

b-boy said:

A goatee is fine.

Just don't grow a soul patch. That'll make your beer worse.

Actually, you should propbably move to the wine forum if you're going to do that.

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I think a soul patch is shown to add the flavor "hipster" to your brew.

Its a mixture of essence of axe body spray, hemp, and corduroy.

So does the length or style of beard impact your brewing? Will a ZZ Top style beard make your beer that much better or is just the existence of a beard that brings favor from the beer gods?

Mb2658 said:

So does the length or style of beard impact your brewing? Will a ZZ Top style beard make your beer that much better or is just the existence of a beard that brings favor from the beer gods?

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Well rogue brewery has a beer made with a yeast they found living in their master brewers beard.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/26/beard-beer-rogue-ales-yeast-john-maier_n_1917119.html

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/09/30/brewmasters-beard-is-key-ingredient-for-what-ales/

I grew mine out for "No shave November" in memory of my mother who passed from pancreatic cancer. Wasn' a fan of the beard so midnight on last day of Nov I shaved back to the goatee.

The goatee is getting pretty long though so I consider it my mini beard.

Nightshade said:

I grew mine out for "No shave November" in memory of my mother who passed frompancreatic cancer. Wasn' a fan of the beard so midnight on last day of Nov I shaved back to the goatee.

The goatee is getting pretty long though so I consider it my mini beard.

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I respect the goatee and you honoring your mother. I lost mine to breast cancer.

sonofgrok said:

I think a soul patch is shown to add the flavor "hipster" to your brew.

Its a mixture of essence of axe body spray, hemp, and corduroy.

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Well, I do live in Portland... Welp, time to grow that soul patch and brew nothing but all organic PBR clones. 'Cause buying it at the store is too mainstream.

Well I had to google soul patch to find out what it was. Thats like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

You will also notice the cute females looking at you dreamily factor go up by 10 fold

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Guys, I'm 60 years old and have white hair. Does this still work? The last time I grew a beard the cute females looking at me dreamily were about 3 years old.

If you give them candy and sugar plums, then yes.

RM-MN said:

Guys, I'm 60 years old and have white hair. Does this still work? The last time I grew a beard the cute females looking at me dreamily were about 3 years old.

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Just ask the most interesting man in the world...

+HopSpunge+ said:

Well I had to google soul patch to find out what it was. Thats like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

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you had to google that? how old are you, brofluff?

This has been a thoroughly researched topic for many decades. While some call it a hazard, others...an opportunity.

I noticed the beer I brewed pre-beard is conditioning better, in direct proportion to beard length.

SWMBO doesn't like me growing my beard... I prefer to rock the lumberjack, but wife doesn't like it and other things get neglected when I do

My beers are usually pretty damn good, but it seems the bulk of pro brewers have a stellar face mane. I can only wonder what they would be if I had my way.

What about a handlebar 'stache? That has to be better than a soul patch at the very least...

Damn, I wish I could grow one of those. Best I can do to look the part is not shave my arm pits.

I shaved my terrible beard about two weeks ago and brewed last night. Forgot to scale up a recipe from 5 to 6 gallons, so now I have a budlight-strength honey blonde (hey, could still be really good), but my groundwater was cold enough to chill the wort to 67F with only my IC. So, I guess it's a wash.

UtahNate said:

What about a handlebar 'stache? That has to be better than a soul patch at the very least...

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Yes, a handlebar is much better than the dreaded nut duster.

But a full beard is the best for your brew.

Rick

RM-MN said:

Guys, I'm 60 years old and have white hair. Does this still work? The last time I grew a beard the cute females looking at me dreamily were about 3 years old.

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While men find white beards to be epic in there manliness, ladies may not.
Sometimes a price must be paid for beardliness

UtahNate said:

What about a handlebar 'stache? That has to be better than a soul patch at the very least...

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In my opinion only John L. Sullivan and Rollie Fingers should ever wear a handlebar mustache.

I can't predict the effect it will have on beer making.

I can predict the effect it will have on women. It won't be good.

b-boy said:

I can predict the effect it will have on women. It won't be good.

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Meh... SWMBO likes it and she's the only one who counts (or so she says).

UtahNate said:

Meh... SWMBO likes it and she's the only one who counts (or so she says).

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I stand corrected. I was going on my wife's reaction when I asked her about it.