Tap Locks

Well, the time has come. I noticed that my last keg of Haus Ale seemed to go much quicker.

I found out this morning that SWMBO's kid ( 16) , was chatting with some friends " Come on over, we'll hit Larry's beer".

So, I need to secure these until I can get him away from his mom long enough to whip his a**.

Seems they don't care for the IPA's -

Option one - faucet locks 3@30

Option 2 - piss in a keg for two weeks, put it on tap. Tell me Americas Funniest doesn't want THAT video !

Option 3- disconnect the taps and lock the fridge. What a PITA for me.
Option 4 - Put some Ruinatioin on the tap
Option 5 - wire 110v to the tap. I think this is out because I'd be the first victim.

I'm leaning towards 4 or 3 right now.

Anyone else with a similar problem? Good cheap source for tap locks.

Buy a cheap webcam and mount it on/near the taps. Put a sign up that says "Larry is watching. Larry gets angry when his beer is stolen. You don't want to meet angry Larry, do you?"

No need to connect it to anything, that should be enough to scare the little buggers away...

Tap locks do not work very well.

disconnect the beer lines and padlock the fridge.

As much as disconnecting the "out" QDs and then locking the fridge can be a pain, it's the easiest solution.

You know, my youngest is 17 and doesn't drink. He and his friends are these goofy dorky guys who still build forts in the woods. I'm so grateful! My oldest didn't drink at all when she lived at home, either, and still only imbibes with a little Mike's Hard Lemonade. I'm so glad they didn't inherit my beer-loving genes!

Anyway, a simple bike cable around the fridge and though the handle with a lock, and the taps disconnected unless you're drinking the beer, will send the message as well as prevent you from any legal liability.

First vote here for piss in the keg. Combo that with the webcam, and you're onto something, even if that's just cheap entertainment!!!

I would like to see the video of them drinkin the piss personally. However, I would say the best solution would be to disconnect and lock the fridge.

Remember the scene in I.J. & The Last Crusade where they're in the cave and they send the dumb guides ahead into the "three tests" gamut, and the first one is a bunch of blades that lops off your head, limbs, etc.?

Install one of those.

1. Fill the kegs with the water leftover from cooking green beans.
2. Put kegs into fridge.
3. ???????
4. Profit!

I'd vote #3.

Rather than disconnecting, put a stainless steel shut-off valve in each line. You may not even need to lock the fridge. If the kid is a dumbsht he'll never figure out how to make the beer flow again.

slimer said:

1. Fill the kegs with the water leftover from cooking green beans.
2. Put kegs into fridge.
3. ???????
4. Profit!

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Hmmm, does oxyclean or starsan carb well ? Maybe mix it up with the trub from my next batch to give it some color..



(Just kidding here, I'd have to make sure it didn't hurt the little f*krs. . A little syrup of ipecac might work well to purge their little bodies of harmful stuff

LooyvilleLarry said:

(Just kidding here, I'd have to make sure it didn't hurt the little f*krs. . A little syrup of ipecac might work well to purge their little bodies of harmful stuff

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This

Is

The

Best

Idea

Ever!

What are the problems with tap locks? I won't have this issue for at least another 14 years or so, but I know I went to a friend's to brew and the keg he was gonna serve us was mysteriously empty, while the one with the lock on it was fine.

It's just that disconnecting the lines when not in use, especially when combined with locking the fridge/freezer, seems to negate all the ease of use benefits of kegging in the first place. It'd be nice if you had a master switch, somehow, that you could use to totally turn stuff off.

I remember seeing a system here a few years ago that used a computer to dispense the beer, as in you needed a card to get it out. Was also useful for parties if you wanted to give everyone three pints only, etc.