HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

Evan! · Jul 7, 2008

At the behest of McKBrew, I'm creating this as a one-stop depository for memorable quotes from the annals of HBT-dom. This is not for random quotes from movies or something you think are funny, but strictly for memorable quotes made by forum members in the forums.

Let's see 'em.

olllllo · Jul 7, 2008

I'll never forget this one:

Evan! said:
Look, I can put up with a lot of crap, I'll stand in line at the DMV, I'll march in the Puerto Rican Day Parade in Manhattan (don't ask), but I draw the line at associating with Jeep people

Revvy · Jul 7, 2008

Or this one...

Evan! said:
Next time, double-flush.

Bernie Brewer · Jul 7, 2008

It's in my sig:

Biermuncher said:
I'm the voice of moderation in my family...

Evan! · Jul 8, 2008

Revvy said:
I still stare lovingly at my fermenters every day.

1234567890

Boerderij_Kabouter · Jul 8, 2008

Thor the Mighty said:
Nunderwear: the abundant fabric found under nun apparel, usually adorned with pictures of saints giving high fives to jesus, gilded with gold thread and unwashed for weeks.

EvilTOJ said:
Don't dump it unless it tastes like Satan's anus!

These are my favorites

DeathBrewer · Jul 8, 2008

these are the ones that stick with me...

BierMuncher said:
My Junk is Ugly

Strange Brewer said:
Had some Bud Light analyzed once. They told me my dog had diabetes...

And was pregnant

the_bird · Jul 8, 2008

The one that, to me... truly, perfectly exemplifies the HBT spirit...

Originally Posted by EvilTOJ
oops. So if this doesn't make sense, well I'm a bit druck so I'll just hit Post now.

the_bird · Jul 8, 2008

BM's probably the best source for these. Anyone got the particular language re: him and the eighteen nutsacks?

Yooper · Jul 8, 2008

My most recent favorite is in my signature (complete with a fight club edit):

RichBrewer said:
As much as I would LOVE to see you post your ass in the [mod edit], I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of winning.

This relates to a bet concerning the Brewers and the Rockies this evening. Believe me, I'll die laughing if the Rockies win!

EvilTOJ · Jul 8, 2008

Boerderij Kabouter, I was the one that said that! You wound me.

We were talking about bittering agents in chat, and I suggested "essence of bitchface". Here's what JoeC said about it.

JoeC said:
One shot of it is enough to screw up 4 relationships and a feminine products aisle in a CVS

Boerderij_Kabouter · Jul 8, 2008

EvilTOJ said:
Boerderij Kabouter, I was the one that said that! You wound me.

Dammit!

I knew I had screwed that one up! Now I remember. My bad, I will change it.

98EXL · Jul 8, 2008

Evan! said:
I think that stuff was brewed with a little piece of hell inside.

(10 chars)

DeathBrewer · Jul 8, 2008

the_bird said:
BM's probably the best source for these. Anyone got the particular language re: him and the eighteen nutsacks?

i found it! :cross:

BierMuncher said:
And by the time youve had your hands wrapped around 18 nut-sacks, dont they all start to feel the same?

ohiobrewtus · Jul 8, 2008

see below...

olllllo · Jul 8, 2008

If anyone has trouble deciding, I recommend this:

I always carry my dog-eared copy around so that I can fight the man or put down the random *****baggery that happens my way.

Evan! · Jul 8, 2008

olllllo said:
If anyone has trouble deciding, I recommend this:

I always carry my dog-eared copy around so that I can fight the man or put down the random *****baggery that happens my way.

That. Is. So. Goddamned. Badass. :rockin:

Alright, I take back what I said about Jeepsters being worse than the scumbags in the Puerto Rican Day Parade who tried to grope my wife

98EXL · Jul 8, 2008

olllllo said:
If anyone has trouble deciding, I recommend this:

I always carry my dog-eared copy around so that I can fight the man or put down the random *****baggery that happens my way.

ROFLMAO! I have tears coming down my face and my stomach hurts from laughing!

Revvy · Jul 8, 2008

Nothing can beat these....

Zul'jin said:
my sofa an th porch is very ncice, they can kiss my ass. ill take em all. fight me bout it. i dare yalls. leave mty sofa alone. wicker is ugly, cordaroy is way nicer. we give ut cnadu w no raxors on halloween on thst soafa to the kids. you lie kkids, no. ? sofa is good. friend ssit on it and drink beers,., we make bbers and they tll me ny niegbor isworse but he is my friend., i dont complain. leav ehis dead mommas stuff alone tgoo. this IS texas! we kicj u in pit. die code monkey!!!!@

Zul'jin said:
i mean what si wrongwith nice sofa on frnt porch? rats do not eat it. it is not rtoen up! they givew me a violaton notice!>>?? 875343 them! i got guns nman! sofa or die! it id nice! we all like it. amd mt nieghbot is my bre wbubby snf they gsve him sa tivkrt too! they dont now who we are! we stand and we fight for what we now is right! they say buckes ok, fine! i put bucket sofa. but not brew buxcet. they may take buckets. hell no! not brew buckets! in the street I calling tyou out bitches! the court is colsed! cowards not oen at night!

capcrnch said:
Pardon me stewardess, but I speak drucken, I can help.

My sofa on the porch is very nice. They can kiss my ass.
I'll take them all. Fight me about it! I dare ya'll!
Leave my sofa alone.
Wicker is ugly, corduroy is way nicer!
We give out candy with no razors on Halloween on that sofa to the kids.
You like kids, no?
Sofa is good.
Friends sit on it and drink beers.
Me make beers and they told me my neighbor is worse, but he is my friend.
I don't complain.
Leave his dead mom's stuff alone too. This IS Texas!
We kick you in the pit! DIE CODE MONKEY!

For more translations, please see capcrnch at translator.capcrnch.net

No, its not a real URL.

Hope tomorrow is better Zul'jin!!

I still bust a gut reading that thread....https://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=52640&highlight=code+monkey

c.n.budz · Jul 8, 2008

Here's my most recent favorite quote,

YooperBrew said:
He just looked at me and licked himself.

Revvy · Jul 8, 2008

LOL!(10 chars)

TheFlatline said:
...Getting free beer is kind of like getting laid after a really long Dungeons & Dragons session. Not only does it feel great doing it, but you feel like you're cheating the natural order of the universe.

RichBrewer · Jul 8, 2008

YooperBrew said:
My most recent favorite is in my signature (complete with a fight club edit):

This relates to a bet concerning the Brewers and the Rockies this evening. Believe me, I'll die laughing if the Rockies win!

and I'll just die! The Rockies beat them last night!

cellardoor · Jul 8, 2008

My favorite of all time.

TexLaw said:
You know you're a homebrewer when you tell what hops are in a fart.

PeteOz77 · Jul 8, 2008

olllllo said:
If anyone has trouble deciding, I recommend this:

I always carry my dog-eared copy around so that I can fight the man or put down the random *****baggery that happens my way.

I think I saw them on sale at Walmart. Oh wait.. they are giving them away FREE.. so they can run all of the book shops in town out of business

ohiobrewtus · Jul 9, 2008

olllllo said:
If anyone has trouble deciding, I recommend this:

I always carry my dog-eared copy around so that I can fight the man or put down the random *****baggery that happens my way.

omfg, that's an instant HBT classic!

Short Drive · Jul 9, 2008

MikeFlynn74 said:
She would be cooler if she showed us her boobs

Only on HBT would it be appropriate to say this about someones wife.

EvilTOJ · Jul 9, 2008

Only because I know it will irritate him to see it quoted again...

Brewpastor said:
Dry yeast works fine. (there, I said it!)...

Donasay · Jul 9, 2008

Drunkensatyr said:
You will never see a Zombie taking up welfare sitting on its fat arse

(10 char )

Donasay · Jul 9, 2008

Damonic said:
I figured there'd be pics as well. WTF?! I don't click on a thread titled EXPLOSIVE Dog Diahrea without expecting to see some canine intestinal carnage.

From the classic explosive dog diarrhea thread.

Donasay · Jul 9, 2008

EdWort said:
My sister poked holes in her husbands condoms so she could get pregnant against his wishes. They've been divorced for years now.

(10 characters)

EvilTOJ · Jul 10, 2008

Hangovers and Apfelwein

Toppers said:
Ughhh....does that aspect of apfelwein where you felt like you got gang banged in your eye socket go away with aging whatsoever?

Revvy · Jul 10, 2008

Hot off the presses from the master!!!

Evan! said:
I dunno...unzip your pants, take a look down at your crotchial area, and tell me if you see a bunch of dog hair. If so, then, yeah, you probably f*cked a dog.

McKBrew · Jul 10, 2008

Revvy said:
Hot off the presses from the master!!!

Beat me to it. I couldn't find the memorable quotes thread.

Amiaji · Jul 10, 2008

orfy said:
Mine was sodomised to death by the rabbit.
You ever heard a Guinea Pig scream?

Poor little guinea pig.

user 574 · Jul 10, 2008

Moshiach said:
Thanks to the guys with constructive posts

The rest of you, F*CK YOU, get off your high horse you elitist, ass c*nts. Me and my mates HAVE read about home brew, obviously not some specific parts, I don't care if you're old or young, your response to our few simple questions was patronizing and useless. Obviously trying to feel 'big' and making up for short-comings, get a life.

When flying insults about immaturity, take a look in the mirror.

Seems that Moshiach made some revisions to the post however. EAC appears to have been replaced with EUB.

Done Evan!

Fight Club. Kill it if need be mods.

Evan! · Jul 10, 2008

DesertBrew said:
Seems that Moshiach made some revisions to the post however. EAC appears to have been replaced with EUB.

Fight Club. Kill it if need be mods.

So change it back, you have the power!

user 574 · Jul 10, 2008

Hitting the ban(ne)d wagon.

Copper said:
Me Grampy said to watch out for city slickin brewin fulla/chit buttheads like you.
I know my stuf, pal.
I come here to get the dice on the first lick.
Iffen you folks can give me a decent starter, (why I am here)
I can do the rest.

Copper

And the classic reply

John Beere said:
I'm from South GA and even I don't understand...

McKBrew · Jul 10, 2008

EdWort said:
I would move your Johnson outside of the keezer. It is too moist of an environment and your Johnson will rust if left in there too long.

OMG, I wouldn't want my Johnson to rust.

Revvy · Jul 10, 2008

DesertBrew said:
Hitting the ban(ne)d wagon.

And the classic reply

Oh please no!!!.....Copper posts are like zombies....they never die.

ooops...I inadvertantly zombified this thread...sorry

homebrewer_99 · Jul 10, 2008

Iditarod...something you'll never hear a lesbian sportscaster say with a straight face...

HBT Official Memorable Quotes Thread

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